Ho much to give for a wedding.

Joe10000 · 30-07-2013 08:20AM

For most couples I think 150 sounds about right. Family members more, work colleagues less.

If you have more then give more, if you have less give less. As an earlier poster said, one days net pay is a good guide.

leggo · 30-07-2013 08:22AM

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

200, that's 100 for bride and 100 for groom, anything less is a bit of an insult imo.

It's gas how people are just picking numbers out of the sky now and acting like that's the 'rule'.

I've been to a couple of weddings of friends over the past couple of years and, both times, put €50 in a card. If it was a very close friend, I'd probably double that. If they aren't happy with that...I don't really care. I'm sorry if they see their special day as a financial opportunity to shake down everyone they know, but that ain't my problem.

Pawwed Rig · 30-07-2013 08:27AM

When I got married most people gave us €100 or €200 for a couple. English people gave less as the 'going rate' there seems to be €50 or €100 for a couple.
If money is a concern I wouldn't worry too much about it as if the bride & groom are any way decent people they will not judge you for the amount/value of your gift.

mattjack · 30-07-2013 08:27AM

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

200, that's 100 for bride and 100 for groom, anything less is a bit of an insult imo.

And thats end of this mornings Boards maths class.

stones55 · 30-07-2013 08:40AM

I have my sisters wedding in a few weeks and il be giving €250. It's all I can afford, if I can afford a bit more at the time il give €300. But I'm also going on holidays a few days later so also need money for that.

I asked my sister what she expected from me, she said €550. ðŸ˜³ I could not afford that. She choose to have her reception in an expensive spot where it's €90 a head.

Teyla Emmagan · 30-07-2013 08:44AM

stones55 wrote: »

I have my sisters wedding in a few weeks and il be giving €250. It's all I can afford, if I can afford a bit more at the time il give €300. But I'm also going on holidays a few days later so also need money for that.

I asked my sister what she expected from me, she said €550. ðŸ˜³ I could not afford that. She choose to have her reception in an expensive spot where it's €90 a head.

€550!!! **** me!

You did really well there if you managed to hold your tongue! Even €250 is a tonne of money, even if she is your sister. She's fleecing you.

Liver06 · 30-07-2013 08:45AM

I had 3 weddings last year,2 friends and a family member.I gave €100 for each friend and €200 for the family member which i think is sufficient enough

stones55 · 30-07-2013 08:52AM

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

€550!!! **** me!

You did really well there if you managed to hold your tongue! Even €250 is a tonne of money, even if she is your sister. She's fleecing you.

Oh don't go there...bridezilla! The hotel was €165 for the night. Needless to say I wasn't paying that, found a self catering house for €35pp. She was none to pleased I wasn't staying in the hotel. But of I was paying for the hotel, on top of present & money for the day..it fairly adds up.

mad muffin · 30-07-2013 09:23AM

When we got married 13 years ago some stingy SOB's gave us 3 shells as a wedding present :rolleyes:

We put them in the downstairs toilet to remind us how crap they are.

And another even worse couple shared a present with their parents of a Next bed set :mad:

caustic 1 · 30-07-2013 09:37AM

I know a couple recently who donated some of their money to charity, now fair enough lovely thing to do but I know if I were at that wedding and gave what we usually give €150 (scraped up to us would buy the weeks groceries) I would be raging. If I wanted it donated to fe cking charity I would do it myself and it would maybe be 10 or 20 at that.

keithclancy · 30-07-2013 09:40AM

Think about what gift you would buy and then give them that amount in cash.

There is no right amount, forget about what other people are giving.

Don't bother with Vouchers.

tin79 · 30-07-2013 09:41AM

Funny how its always the cheapos who get so worked up when this topic comes up.

tin79 · 30-07-2013 09:42AM

mad muffin wrote: »

When we got married 13 years ago some stingy SOB's gave us 3 shells as a wedding present :rolleyes:

Artillery or Marine?

oldyouth · 30-07-2013 09:46AM

The general consensus here is to at least 'cover the cost of the meal'. That's a disgraceful attitude. If you invite someone in to your house for a meal, do you charge them?

Why insist that your guests fund your extravagances? People who expect their guests to cover the cost of the event must think very little of them in reality. Surely, you should approach your wedding on the basis that you want as many friends and family to share the day with you and not exclude those who may stay away from attending for financial reasons.

mad muffin · 30-07-2013 09:48AM

tin79 wrote: »

Artillery or Marine?

Hehe.

Marine shells. WTF kind of wedding present is that? :mad:

Jem123 · 30-07-2013 09:52AM

stones55 wrote: »

I have my sisters wedding in a few weeks and il be giving €250. It's all I can afford, if I can afford a bit more at the time il give €300. But I'm also going on holidays a few days later so also need money for that.

I asked my sister what she expected from me, she said €550. ðŸ˜³ I could not afford that. She choose to have her reception in an expensive spot where it's €90 a head.

The neck of her!! :eek:

keithclancy · 30-07-2013 10:01AM

oldyouth wrote: »

The general consensus here is to at least 'cover the cost of the meal'. That's a disgraceful attitude. If you invite someone in to your house for a meal, do you charge them?

Why insist that your guests fund your extravagances? People who expect their guests to cover the cost of the event must think very little of them in reality. Surely, you should approach your wedding on the basis that you want as many friends and family to share the day with you and not exclude those who may stay away from attending for financial reasons.

When I got married I expected nothing, but I didn't really care about who would be annoyed about not being invited.

I can see for other people that have certain expectations put on them by family, especially people more in the countryside that they would be encouraged/told by family to invite x or y person.

In this case they have to work out the costs somehow and try to work out the financial implication of inviting 100-200 extra people they wouldn't have invited in the first place.

Irelands a weird place sometimes when it comes to family things like that.

nowimtalking · 30-07-2013 10:03AM

Interestingly I know someone who recently rejected a wedding invitation and sent a gift to the couple anyway. I was astonished seeing as they didn't know them that well, it is just a distant neighbour. Is this expected from people who don't attend?

Xavi6 · 30-07-2013 10:04AM

ryanf1 wrote: »

In general it's €150 per couple or maybe €70 for a single person.

In that case myself and herself are going to the next one as two singles to save a tenner :pac:

whatlliwear · 30-07-2013 10:09AM

I have 3 weddings to attend this summer & I just don't know where I am going to find the money for the hotels, present, nice dress etc. I have asked my friends how much they give & it varies from €50 per person to €200 per person. Agh!

oldyouth · 30-07-2013 10:11AM

nowimtalking wrote: »

Interestingly I know someone who recently rejected a wedding invitation and sent a gift to the couple anyway. I was astonished seeing as they didn't know them that well, it is just a distant neighbour. Is this expected from people who don't attend?

It's a chance your arm strategy by the bride and groom

I Heart Internet · 30-07-2013 10:15AM

Between €50 and €100 if you're attending on your own I'd say OP.

€50 if it's a friend/cousin/work colleague etc. More if closer.

If you were a well off/mature/loaded singleton and it was eg a favourite niece/nephew than maybe go more.

But no fixed rules. If you're broke then a €20.

Most decent folk will understand people's situations when they get gifts. €20 from some people can be a big stretch whereas €200 might not even be missed by some.

Lisha · 30-07-2013 10:17AM

We always give 150euro for wedding.
Family would be more.

Last yr was asked to wedding we were very strapped for cash. We went, did not buy new clothes, I drove home as I don't drink, paid babysitter .
Thought I'd be able to give wedding present the following week . Life conspired against me and it was 6monyhs later when I posted gift.

Gift was never acknowledged and bride won't speak to me when we meet.

Hzve heard back that she was cross that I didn't drink (I never drink really and if I do never more than 3) and was very cross gift was late.

We were shocked to be invited really there was no need none of us would have each others phone numbers . We were rent s crowd basically .

In future if I'm blasé about being asked ill politely refuse ang give a gift.
Much cheaper on long run than dressing up, hair, taking time off work, paying for overnight baby sitter, travel expenses, etc.

Tl:dr

Only attend and only give what you can afford. People are mad

whatlliwear · 30-07-2013 10:24AM

A neighbour of mine recently got married and her brother asked her "Did ye make much out of the wedding". He obviously liked the answer she gave as he's now engaged & has a date set!!!! It speaks volumes really..

Davyhal · 30-07-2013 10:31AM

I am a single guy going to the afters of a wedding in a month's time. Normally for the afters, I would give €50-€70 (€100 if going to full wedding), but considering that my invite to this wedding was initially just asked by the bride on the street and then followed up with a Facebook invite, I am thinking that €50 is enough.

Pawwed Rig · 30-07-2013 10:34AM

whatlliwear wrote: »

A neighbour of mine recently got married and her brother asked her "Did ye make much out of the wedding". He obviously liked the answer she gave as he's now engaged & has a date set!!!! It speaks volumes really..

I have never heard of anyone 'making money' on a wedding. Generally the costs far exceed any gifts received in the form of cash. You have to consider the surcharge added by all suppliers when the w word is mentioned. The meal itself may pay for itself but other costs far exceed this. The meal for my wedding was about 40% of the total costs and we had a relatively modest affair. It is the other charges that get you. Photographers for example cost shocking amounts of cash.

Lisha · 30-07-2013 10:34AM

Davyhal wrote: »

I am a single guy going to the afters of a wedding in a month's time. Normally for the afters, I would give €50-€70 (€100 if going to full wedding), but considering that my invite to this wedding was initially just asked by the bride on the street and then followed up with a Facebook invite, I am thinking that €50 is enough.

50 is loads IMHO

luckyboy · 30-07-2013 10:35AM

Was at a cousin's wedding recently with my wife and we gave €200, which we thought was fairly standard ...

awec · 30-07-2013 10:36AM

50 is more than enough for someone not even invited to the wedding itself.

suicide_circus · 30-07-2013 10:45AM

so a couple put on an elaborate, stupidly expensive, self indulgent celebration of THEMSELVES, invite people and then expect the guests to PAY for the pleasure....if the gf and i ever get hitched i hope we have a little more class than that.

As for people asking for specific amounts to be given as gifts, they are beneath contempt.

Ho much to give for a wedding.

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