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What do you keep by the bed?

245

Comments

  • #32
    Ace Attorney
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,320 ✭✭✭Ace Attorney


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:


  • #33
    Renegade Mechanic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    My boots:)


  • #34
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    Where do you put it?

    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?


  • #35
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..


  • #36
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?

    You missed the joke.


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  • #37
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on. :p


  • #38
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    You missed the joke.

    clearly


  • #39
    bur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,689 ✭✭✭bur


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    I'm not seeing the issue here.


  • #40
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Thatdoesnt looksafe tome AHHHHHHH wrote: »
    You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:


    Apt username/post combo! :D

    Piriz wrote: »
    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?


    I'm still laughing at the mental image of the above that she might jam it in her ear-

    "Hell... Ohh, ohh, oh my..." :pac:


  • #41
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.


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  • #42
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    HondaSami wrote: »
    Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on. :p

    so might his mates if they came back for beers...


  • #43
    **Vai**
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    There are end credits in porno movies??? :eek:


  • #44
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    Piriz wrote: »
    so might his mates if they came back for beers...

    Unless they are having beers in the bedroom, then it's an orgy and everyone would be happy to see the naked lady.


  • #45
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.

    maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?


  • #46
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?

    Whats your problem?


  • #47
    bumper234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Piriz wrote: »
    so might his mates if they came back for beers...

    You often bring your mates home for a beer and say "lets all go into the bedroom where my GF is sleeping"?


  • #48
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    syklops wrote: »
    Whats your problem?

    No batteries for the vibrator id say.


  • #49
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    HondaSami wrote: »
    No batteries for the vibrator id say.

    A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.


  • #50
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    syklops wrote: »
    A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.

    His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
    I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak. :p


  • #51
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    HondaSami wrote: »
    His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
    I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak. :p

    I think he has penis envy of a bit of plastic.


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  • #52
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,719 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Due to the heat I have a mini-fridge, so if anyone invades the house I'll offer them a cool drink and they'll appreciate the hospitality.


  • #53
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,403 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    • Phone
    • Clock radio
    • Glasses
    • Deodorant
    • Earphones
    • Sleeping eye mask thingy (Blinds are a bit fecked, If there's too much light I might need it)
    • A foot long steel Jebus on the cross (I'm actually an atheist but that's been there for as long as I can remember. It's a proper weapon though, you can kill someone with it)


  • #54
    mad muffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    My mother in law.

    That old bat would stop anyone dead in their tracks:pac:


  • #55
    BunShopVoyeur.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,168 ✭✭✭BunShopVoyeur.


    Kindle, notepad & pen, glasses, wallet, phone.


  • #56
    Renegade Mechanic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    Killing someone with jesus. Now thats ironic:D
    Youre right about the blinds though, nothing worse than trying to sleep with daylight assaulting ya.


  • #57
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,403 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    Renegade Mechanic wrote: »
    Killing someone with jesus. Now thats ironic:D

    It'll be a totally unsuspected weapon though. If a burglar saw a knife beside me, he might take it. I doubt he'll take Jesus from me.


  • #58
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    GET BACK ON TRACK LADS!!!
    Sheesh..mention a dildo eh......:rolleyes:


    glancing to my side i see...(and i am woefully disorganised and ashamed of it...)


    a hot water bottle
    a measuring tape (don't ask)
    a diary
    a handbag
    a bottle of calamine lotion (for those bastard horsefly bites)
    Dr Hauschkas Clarifying Toner
    Vick's Vaporub
    A small ceramic pig holder thingy for massage oils
    5 pens
    a stack of random notebooks and diary
    Bhagavad gita
    Ouspensky's the fourth Way
    hair ties
    head phones
    water
    a cup empty of the delicious cocoa it once contained
    3 herbal tinctures..just in case..but god knows how long they've been there
    My accounts.....working on them...
    a newspaper which is so old it is actually yellow ...isnt that a fascinating thing, the way that happens
    A dictionary
    Proust's Remembrance of Times Past (okay..it's slow work)
    2 other handbags that have no purpose
    sticky notes
    a hair clasp
    several funny shaped stones form the beach
    a silk scarf
    a clothes peg(?..even I'm stumped)

    Think that's about it.. I would have to crane my neck to see further.


  • #59
    MadYaker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,335 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    On mine right now there is a lamp with no bulb, a few books, an ipod and 3 empty glasses.


  • #60
    Pretty Polly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Pretty Polly


    @ Autonomous Cowherd I can't even pronounce everything on your list.

    I have a book, phone, phone charger, garnier body moisturiser, 2 bobbins and a hair clip. I feel very ordinary!:o


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  • #61
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I thought this thread was about what you keep next to your bed that you use to kill people with


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