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What do you keep by the bed?

  • 28-07-2013 1:13pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭


    A lot of people, myself included keep some sort of weapon by the bed. Personally while I hate the idea of having to use it I keep a knife by my bed, I am a young woman living alone so if someone comes in I want to be able to stop them quickly if they are coming for me. Like I said I hate the idea of using it but it just makes me feel safer to have it there. What do you keep by the bed, if anything?


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Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 31,117 ✭✭✭✭snubbleste


    A potty


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,184 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    My missus.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,046 ✭✭✭0ph0rce0


    Lapin wrote: »
    My missus.

    Thats it rub it in you prick :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 358 ✭✭Weevil


    A floor, for the mornings.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    0ph0rce0 wrote: »
    Thats it rub it in you prick :P

    That's what the missus said.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,043 ✭✭✭MurdyWurdy


    I have a breast pump next to me. - does that count?!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 406 ✭✭truebluesac


    My floordrobe . Theyll trip over before they get to me


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    A 12x6 walk in vault.:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Tissues........... :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,084 ✭✭✭✭Kirby


    A wooden bat. I've never had to use it and I'm a fairly ugly fellow so i'm fairly sure nobody would want to sneak into my bedroom and ravish me. :P

    I'm an extremely heavy sleep so I doubt I would wake up anyway if somebody did come into my room while I was asleep. Still, it makes me feel better.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 855 ✭✭✭Evolution1


    Keyfob for alarm with panic button ,
    remote for outside lights . knife attached with Velcro under desk and golf club under the bed . Phone charger and TV remote .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    Glass of water, teddy bear, AK47 and a reading lamp.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,184 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    Glass of water, teddy bear, AK47 and a reading lamp.

    I reckon you're bullshítting us there.




    I bet you don't have a teddy bear at all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    meoklmrk91 wrote: »
    A lot of people, myself included keep some sort of weapon by the bed. Personally while I hate the idea of having to use it I keep a knife by my bed, I am a young woman living alone so if someone comes in I want to be able to stop them quickly if they are coming for me. Like I said I hate the idea of using it but it just makes me feel safer to have it there. What do you keep by the bed, if anything?


    The danger with that of course is that you could easily be giving the burglar an extra weapon when you could be easily overpowered and your knife taken from you. A knife is actually the worst weapon you can use because you have to get in close to inflict any proper damage. At least if you fire a mallet at their face, you're guaranteed to distract them long enough for you to get away to safety.

    Beside my bed I keep the sky remote, cd clock radio, cordless house phone and my two mobiles and a bottle of water.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,597 ✭✭✭Witchie


    My bedside lamp, whatever book I'm reading, phone charger, anti histamines and a bottle of water. Oh my laptop.

    Am so fugly would welcome an intruder.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    my locker is cluttered but to hand, a zipo lighter, a candle in a glass jar and a bottle of deodorant for flame throwing, a cup of water for putting out the flames afterward and an inhaler for helping me not snore when I go back to sleep.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Witchie wrote: »
    My bedside lamp, whatever book I'm reading, phone charger, anti histamines and a bottle of water. Oh my laptop.

    Am so fugly would welcome an intruder.


    Ohh I dunno about that now ;)


    I try to be polite and welcoming to intruders, make them feel at home. Intruders never steal anything from their own homes -
    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Omlette you away with that one... :P

    But yeah, living in an apartment block you sometimes get chancers trying the doors to see is there any of them open so they can come in and clean the place out.

    I'm forever forgetting to lock the door, and I never lock it when I'm there anyway, but two o clock last night I could hear the door opening, so I went out to the hallway and turned on the light...

    There was the guy standing there - "Ohh, oh I'm sorry, I'd better call my mate", before he backed out the door again.

    He didn't even give me a chance to ask him did he want to come in for a coffee, so rude! :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    My phone and some sort of sweets/chewing gum to munch on.

    It's what's under the bed that counts ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    My phone and some sort of sweets/chewing gum to munch on.

    It's what's under the bed that counts ;)

    Monsters??? :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Cherry Coke and dental floss sticks. No intruder is gonna attack me when they see the state of my teeth. They are like a row of condemned houses at this stage.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    a blackjack.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    jesus, do you even bother to switch the porn off your laptop? :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    You should put it away. You will liquid damage the phone or laptop.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    You should put it away. You will liquid damage the phone or laptop.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 310 ✭✭stoeger


    Bedroom door locked phone shotgun knife beside bed and remember 2nd shot is the warning shot


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    Where do you put it?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,251 ✭✭✭Pang


    Hand cream. It's the only time I remember to apply it.

    Pen, notebook, earphones, phone, tissues.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,769 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Hmm, my bedside table has the following:

    - Anti perspirant spray (unopened)
    - A tube of berocca
    - A bottle of sunscreen that is 4 years old
    - The empty box for an ipod mini
    - A VGA-DVI converter
    - Cufflinks
    - A miniature Gene Simmons axe bass replica
    - A glass of water

    I'm horribly unorganised


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 747 ✭✭✭Belle E. Flops


    Earphones, books, water, rampant rabbit, phone charger, tissues.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,320 ✭✭✭Ace Attorney


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    My boots:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    Where do you put it?

    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?

    You missed the joke.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on. :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    You missed the joke.

    clearly


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,689 ✭✭✭bur


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    I'm not seeing the issue here.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:


    Apt username/post combo! :D

    Piriz wrote: »
    its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?


    I'm still laughing at the mental image of the above that she might jam it in her ear-

    "Hell... Ohh, ohh, oh my..." :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    HondaSami wrote: »
    Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on. :p

    so might his mates if they came back for beers...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    Piriz wrote: »
    i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

    There are end credits in porno movies??? :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    Piriz wrote: »
    so might his mates if they came back for beers...

    Unless they are having beers in the bedroom, then it's an orgy and everyone would be happy to see the naked lady.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    syklops wrote: »
    I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.

    maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Piriz wrote: »
    maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?

    Whats your problem?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Piriz wrote: »
    so might his mates if they came back for beers...

    You often bring your mates home for a beer and say "lets all go into the bedroom where my GF is sleeping"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    syklops wrote: »
    Whats your problem?

    No batteries for the vibrator id say.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    HondaSami wrote: »
    No batteries for the vibrator id say.

    A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    syklops wrote: »
    A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.

    His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
    I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak. :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    HondaSami wrote: »
    His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
    I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak. :p

    I think he has penis envy of a bit of plastic.


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