What do you keep by the bed?

meoklmrk91

A lot of people, myself included keep some sort of weapon by the bed. Personally while I hate the idea of having to use it I keep a knife by my bed, I am a young woman living alone so if someone comes in I want to be able to stop them quickly if they are coming for me. Like I said I hate the idea of using it but it just makes me feel safer to have it there. What do you keep by the bed, if anything?

snubbleste

A potty

Lapin

My missus.

0ph0rce0

Lapin wrote: »

My missus.

Thats it rub it in you prick :P

Weevil

A floor, for the mornings.

HondaSami

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

Thats it rub it in you prick :P

That's what the missus said.

MurdyWurdy

I have a breast pump next to me. - does that count?!

truebluesac

My floordrobe . Theyll trip over before they get to me

The Backwards Man

A 12x6 walk in vault.:cool:

Agricola

Tissues...........

Kirby

A wooden bat. I've never had to use it and I'm a fairly ugly fellow so i'm fairly sure nobody would want to sneak into my bedroom and ravish me. :P

I'm an extremely heavy sleep so I doubt I would wake up anyway if somebody did come into my room while I was asleep. Still, it makes me feel better.

Evolution1

Keyfob for alarm with panic button ,
remote for outside lights . knife attached with Velcro under desk and golf club under the bed . Phone charger and TV remote .

FloatingVoter

Glass of water, teddy bear, AK47 and a reading lamp.

Lapin

FloatingVoter wrote: »

Glass of water, teddy bear, AK47 and a reading lamp.

I reckon you're bullshítting us there.




I bet you don't have a teddy bear at all.

Czarcasm

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

A lot of people, myself included keep some sort of weapon by the bed. Personally while I hate the idea of having to use it I keep a knife by my bed, I am a young woman living alone so if someone comes in I want to be able to stop them quickly if they are coming for me. Like I said I hate the idea of using it but it just makes me feel safer to have it there. What do you keep by the bed, if anything?

The danger with that of course is that you could easily be giving the burglar an extra weapon when you could be easily overpowered and your knife taken from you. A knife is actually the worst weapon you can use because you have to get in close to inflict any proper damage. At least if you fire a mallet at their face, you're guaranteed to distract them long enough for you to get away to safety.

Beside my bed I keep the sky remote, cd clock radio, cordless house phone and my two mobiles and a bottle of water.

Witchie

My bedside lamp, whatever book I'm reading, phone charger, anti histamines and a bottle of water. Oh my laptop.

Am so fugly would welcome an intruder.

pharmaton

my locker is cluttered but to hand, a zipo lighter, a candle in a glass jar and a bottle of deodorant for flame throwing, a cup of water for putting out the flames afterward and an inhaler for helping me not snore when I go back to sleep.

Czarcasm

Witchie wrote: »

My bedside lamp, whatever book I'm reading, phone charger, anti histamines and a bottle of water. Oh my laptop.

Am so fugly would welcome an intruder.

Ohh I dunno about that now


I try to be polite and welcoming to intruders, make them feel at home. Intruders never steal anything from their own homes -

Czarcasm wrote: »

Omlette you away with that one... :P

But yeah, living in an apartment block you sometimes get chancers trying the doors to see is there any of them open so they can come in and clean the place out.

I'm forever forgetting to lock the door, and I never lock it when I'm there anyway, but two o clock last night I could hear the door opening, so I went out to the hallway and turned on the light...

There was the guy standing there - "Ohh, oh I'm sorry, I'd better call my mate", before he backed out the door again.

He didn't even give me a chance to ask him did he want to come in for a coffee, so rude!

PizzamanIRL

My phone and some sort of sweets/chewing gum to munch on.

It's what's under the bed that counts

**Vai**

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

My phone and some sort of sweets/chewing gum to munch on.

It's what's under the bed that counts

Monsters??? :eek:

WindSock

Cherry Coke and dental floss sticks. No intruder is gonna attack me when they see the state of my teeth. They are like a row of condemned houses at this stage.

harry Bailey esq

a blackjack.

Esoteric_

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

Piriz

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

jesus, do you even bother to switch the porn off your laptop?

Gummy Panda

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

You should put it away. You will liquid damage the phone or laptop.

Gummy Panda

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

You should put it away. You will liquid damage the phone or laptop.

stoeger

Bedroom door locked phone shotgun knife beside bed and remember 2nd shot is the warning shot

syklops

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

Where do you put it?

Pang

Hand cream. It's the only time I remember to apply it.

Pen, notebook, earphones, phone, tissues.

Mr. CooL ICE

Hmm, my bedside table has the following:

- Anti perspirant spray (unopened)
- A tube of berocca
- A bottle of sunscreen that is 4 years old
- The empty box for an ipod mini
- A VGA-DVI converter
- Cufflinks
- A miniature Gene Simmons axe bass replica
- A glass of water

I'm horribly unorganised

Belle E. Flops

Earphones, books, water, rampant rabbit, phone charger, tissues.

Ace Attorney

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:

Renegade Mechanic

My boots:)

Piriz

syklops wrote: »

Where do you put it?

its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?

Piriz

Esoteric_ wrote: »

My glasses, phone, laptop, vibrator (if I'm too lazy to put it away when I'm done with it :pac: ).

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

syklops

Piriz wrote: »

its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?

You missed the joke.

HondaSami

Piriz wrote: »

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on.

Piriz

syklops wrote: »

You missed the joke.

clearly

bur

Piriz wrote: »

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

I'm not seeing the issue here.

Czarcasm

Thatdoesnt looksafe tome AHHHHHHH wrote: »

You better turn off the vibrator when your done with it, you might answer it instead of your phone some night :pac:

Apt username/post combo!

Piriz wrote: »

its a vibrator...where do you think she puts it?

I'm still laughing at the mental image of the above that she might jam it in her ear-

"Hell... Ohh, ohh, oh my..." :pac:

syklops

Piriz wrote: »

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.

Piriz

HondaSami wrote: »

Lots of boyfriends would find that a big turn on.

so might his mates if they came back for beers...

**Vai**

Piriz wrote: »

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

There are end credits in porno movies??? :eek:

HondaSami

Piriz wrote: »

so might his mates if they came back for beers...

Unless they are having beers in the bedroom, then it's an orgy and everyone would be happy to see the naked lady.

Piriz

syklops wrote: »

I am sure "the boyfriend" would be shocked and dismayed to discover his girlfriend has a sex drive.

maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?

syklops

Piriz wrote: »

maybe you'd ask her to use it on you skylops?

Whats your problem?

bumper234

Piriz wrote: »

so might his mates if they came back for beers...

You often bring your mates home for a beer and say "lets all go into the bedroom where my GF is sleeping"?

HondaSami

syklops wrote: »

Whats your problem?

No batteries for the vibrator id say.

syklops

HondaSami wrote: »

No batteries for the vibrator id say.

A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.

HondaSami

syklops wrote: »

A few dildos short of a sex shop that guy.

His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak.

syklops

HondaSami wrote: »

His post was like something from a porno, not sure he realised that or that the majority of men would happily come home to that image.
I'm sure a few of the ladies on here have it all planned out as we speak.

I think he has penis envy of a bit of plastic.