What do you keep by the bed?

Peregrine

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

Bhagavad gita

Well that's an interesting one. Translated to English or are you one of those people that reads ancient languages? :pac:

Autonomous Cowherd

Pretty Polly wrote: »

@ Autonomous Cowherd I can't even pronounce everything on your list.

I have a book, phone, phone charger, garnier body moisturiser, 2 bobbins and a hair clip. I feel very ordinary!:o

Pretty polly, they're there....thats all i know....i didn't say i could pronounce them either

Esoteric_

Piriz wrote: »

i hope your single, imagine the boyfriend coming home only to see his girlfriend passed out in the bed naked with only her glasses on, her vibrator still wet on the locker and the end credits of a porno movie on her laptop..

It wouldn't be the first time!

Czarcasm

pharmaton wrote: »

I thought this thread was about what you keep next to your bed that you use to kill people with

That'd make an interesting headline -

"Burglar killed by flying dildo to the head"

Autonomous Cowherd

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

Well that's an interesting one. Translated to English or are you one of those people that reads ancient languages? :pac:

Oh Yah!! In the original Sanskrit...:rolleyes: of course

Ihatecuddles-old

Eh a bag of onions, make up, a diary/journal thing I write in, a bottle of water, radio, book, teddy, tongue bar and a candle.

Can't really kill someone with a bag of onions.

Witchie

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Eh a bag of onions, make up, a diary/journal thing I write in, a bottle of water, radio, book, teddy, tongue bar and a candle.

Can't really kill someone with a bag of onions.

Yes you can! cut it in half and rub it in their eyes. That would kill me!

The_Mask

Radio,mobile phone,car keys,2 inch flick knife to jab any burglar down the stairs then I 'll give them a good beating down the road with the extendable metal baton I have concealed in my hall. I 've even been taught how to use it by a guard ;-)

Renegade Mechanic

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

It'll be a totally unsuspected weapon though. If a burglar saw a knife beside me, he might take it. I doubt he'll take Jesus from me.

Good point... That uneven surface would make for a grippy weapon. Just promise me one thing. Youll hold it at them, shout "be gone" then, while upgrading their heads with all new speed holes, keep shouting "the power of Christ compells you!!"

mattjack

The Commander in Chief ( Mrs Mattjack ) , keeps, beside our bed a hairdryer , hair straightner and two other things for hair .... all have plugs on them , upturned plugs in the morning.

**Vai**

mad muffin wrote: »

My mother in law.

Beside the bed? Kinky bastard

**Vai**

mattjack wrote: »

The Commander in Chief ( Mrs Mattjack ) , keeps, beside our bed a hairdryer , hair straightner and two other things for hair .... all have plugs on them , upturned plugs in the morning.

I also have this issue.

I also don't know what those other 2 hair things are called. Hair Discombobulator?

mattjack

**Vai** wrote: »

I also have this issue.

I also don't know what those other 2 hair things are called. Hair Discombobulator?

Nor I , they curl hair I think, though we have a hair straightner thing aswell.

Ihatecuddles-old

mattjack wrote: »

Nor I , the curl hair I think, though we have a hair straightner thing aswell.

I've been crying hysterically for the last hour, but that has made me smile I needed that!

wexie

I'm not really the only one that has a bottle of baby-oil on my nightstand am I?

Peregrine

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Good point... That uneven surface would make for a grippy weapon. Just promise me one thing. Youll hold it at them, shout "be gone" then, while upgrading their heads with all new speed holes, keep shouting "the power of Christ compells you!!"

Ah ****e, you've just told everyone my whole strategy!


If any of yous rob a house and someone puts speedbumps on your forehead with a foot long steel Jesus while screaming "I cast you out, unclean spirit!". Well, you were warned.

**Vai**

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I've been crying hysterically for the last hour, but that has made me smile I needed that!

That'll teach you not to try eat a bag of onions!

mattjack

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I've been crying hysterically for the last hour, but that has made me smile I needed that!

I tip my hat to you

Miss Lockhart

Box of tissues, medication, 4 books, assortment of bills, phone+charger, tablet+charger, glass of water, moisturiser, hairbrush, pen, scissors, emery board, 2 hair clips and a bobbin.

I'd be afraid any weapon would be used against me. I sleep with 2 dogs though.

syklops

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I've been crying hysterically for the last hour, but that has made me smile I needed that!

Why have you been crying?

**Vai**

On the bedside table; lamp, ashtray, remotes for various devices, alarm clock, stone from my grandmothers grave.

In the bedside table; lots of stuff including the obligatory knife.

snubbleste

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

..
I'd be afraid any weapon would be used against me. I sleep with 2 dogs though.

Are there no laws on that? :eek:

Pumpkinseeds

Bedside lamp, mobile phone, bottle of water, tissues, a novel, piriton, hand cream, panadol and a hammer.

Renegade Mechanic

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Bedside lamp, mobile phone, bottle of water, tissues, a novel, piriton, hand cream, panadol and a hammer.

For when panadol wont shift it and you really really need to sleep!

Pumpkinseeds

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

For when panadol wont shift it and you really really need to sleep!

Nah, 3 panadol and 2 piriton and I'm sound asleep, the hammer may or may not be for intruders:D

pharmaton

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Nah, 3 panadol and 2 piriton and I'm sound asleep, the hammer may or may not be for intruders:D

you're playing havoc with your liver, two paracetamol should be enough.

Weevil

An award-winning artistic installation by Tracy Emin

Renegade Mechanic

pharmaton wrote: »

you're playing havoc with your liver, two paracetamol should be enough.

I suffera little with migranes and find paracetamol highly ineffective myself. Though i dont agree with that particular mix, two ibuprofen generally work much better for me..

Edit: Weevil thats.... just awful:)

Daveysil15

wexie wrote: »

I'm not really the only one that has a bottle of baby-oil on my nightstand am I?

Is that to help you slide out of bed more easily in the morning?

Miss Lockhart

snubbleste wrote: »

Are there no laws on that? :eek:

I knew someone would say that when I typed it. You're predictable if nothing else.