Age difference in relationships

questionmark? · 01-12-2012 06:22PM

I know a bloke who left his girlfriend for his girlfriends niece. He was 50 and the niece was 16. Ten years later they are married with two kids. Everyone still thinks his a perv but they insist nothing sexual happened before she turned 16 :rolleyes:

steve9859 · 01-12-2012 06:31PM

Age does not necessarily reflect where you are in your life. To suggest otherwise is nonsense. So yes, age is just a number. What you want is important.

01-12-2012 06:44PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Depends on the girl, the motivations, etc - but yeh, the "I chase after young ones" bravado on leaving cert night etc is pathetic.

I've never come across that other than jokingly.

Wacker The Attacker · 01-12-2012 06:51PM

I know this sounds really perverted but has anyone ever seen a member of the opposite sex thay they think looks really sexually attractive only to discover that they are most likely underage. Although you didnt know or realise they were so young to start with.

Madam_X · 01-12-2012 06:53PM

Grayson wrote: »

I've never got those people who seem to be born middle aged. I've met people 10 years younger than me and thought they were older.

Totally. I know people in their 40s who are much better craic than some people I know in their 20s.

questionmark? wrote: »

I know a bloke who left his girlfriend for his girlfriends niece. He was 50 and the niece was 16. Ten years later they are married with two kids. Everyone still thinks his a perv but they insist nothing sexual happened before she turned 16 :rolleyes:

If in Ireland, 16 was still illegal.

steve9859 wrote: »

Age does not necessarily reflect where you are in your life. To suggest otherwise is nonsense. So yes, age is just a number. What you want is important.

Age is not just a number. If you are 22 and going out with someone who is 40, you are both at different life stages, simple as. That doesn't mean two such people shouldn't go for it, and more power to them.

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I know this sounds really perverted but has anyone ever seen a member of the opposite sex thay they think looks really sexually attractive only to discover that they are most likely underage. Although you didnt know or realise they were so young to start with.

That's fair enough. Girls are able to make themselves look a lot older. It's how I got into pubs at 15.

Even if they're only 15/16 they're still young women and can look very curvy and womanly even at that age. Note: this is NOT encouragement to do anything more than admire! :pac:

Noxin · 01-12-2012 06:56PM

LyndaMcL wrote: »

As long as they're both adults and on the same wavelength, who cares?

This! /thread

Wacker The Attacker · 01-12-2012 07:01PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Totally. I know people in their 40s who are much better craic than some people I know in their 20s.

If in Ireland, 16 was still illegal.

Age is not just a number. If you are 22 and going out with someone who is 40, you are both at different life stages, simple as. That doesn't mean two such people shouldn't go for it, and more power to them.

That's fair enough. Girls are able to make themselves look a lot older. It's how I got into pubs at 15.
Even if they're only 15/16 they're still young women and can look very curvy and womanly even at that age. Note: this is NOT encouragement to do anything more than admire! :pac:

Indeed. I certainly have never acted on any of those thoughts but have "admired" as you put it

steve9859 · 01-12-2012 07:04PM

Madam_X wrote: »

.

Age is not just a number. If you are 22 and going out with someone who is 40, you are both at different life stages, simple as. That doesn't mean two such people shouldn't go for it, and more power to them.
:

You're projecting your own experience on the world here, and youre blanket statement is not true.

I am 5 years older than my sister. She wanted kids and to settle own when she was 23. She married a 36 year old guy who wanted the same. They are now happily married for 7 years and my nieces are 6. But I am not at that stage yet myself at the age of 35....still things to do and places to see.

If age prescribed how you are supposed to behave and what you want out of life, then life woud be very predictable and dull.

So no, not 'simple as'.....

Tasden · 01-12-2012 07:05PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Totally. I know people in their 40s who are much better craic than some people I know in their 20s.

If in Ireland, 16 was still illegal.

Age is not just a number. If you are 22 and going out with someone who is 40, you are both at different life stages, simple as. That doesn't mean two such people shouldn't go for it, and more power to them.

:

Your age doesn't always correspond to the life stage you're at though. I have a child, I'm career focused etc. and I'm 22, a friend of mine is in his late 30s, no children and he has only started studying and knowing what he wants to do career wise in the last year.

Madam_X · 01-12-2012 07:12PM

I'm not saying there's a set path for everyone, and that everyone must have certain stuff done by certain ages - I definitely haven't followed the conventional route myself. I'm just saying it is not a fact that "Age is just a number" - it is a subjective opinion. And at 40 you still have 18 years of life experience on a 22-year-old, so that in itself puts you at a different life stage.

suicide_circus · 01-12-2012 07:29PM

My gf is 22.

just dont tell my wife.

mackeire · 01-12-2012 07:32PM

im 3 months older than my woman. not much of an age difference. just thought i'd throw that out there

ProfanityURL · 01-12-2012 07:34PM

Tasden wrote: »

Your age doesn't always correspond to the life stage you're at though. I have a child, I'm career focused etc. and I'm 22, a friend of mine is in his late 30s, no children and he has only started studying and knowing what he wants to do career wise in the last year.

Doesn't always, but in general someone in their 30s or 40s has a lot more life experience than someone who is 17/18. As we gain life experience our perceptions and attitude towards relationships, and everything else in our lives, changes. Age is definitely not just a number. Our emotional and mental development continues right throughout our lives, so while some people are ahead of their peers in this respect and develop faster than others, most people in their 30s/40s are in a very different place mentally to someone who is 17/18. I think the older person has a moral responsibility to ensure that they are not manipulating the younger person, or using their own life experience as an advantage over someone who may not be ready for the kind of relationships they are looking for, especially in terms of a sexual relationship. Young people are often pressured by their peers and society to get involved in sexual relationships when they may not be ready for them, and if so they may see an older, more experienced partner as an attractive option to compensate for their own lack of experience. If you can honestly say you are attracted to the younger person for the right reasons, and you ensure that they know they are not under any pressure sexually then I say go for it, but the onus has to be on the older person.

cometogether · 01-12-2012 07:45PM

I love older women

rebel_rebel · 01-12-2012 07:58PM

my girlfriend is 10 years older than me,(I'm 27) started out as a fling didn't think it would last but over a year 2gether and very happy together,even planning on moving in together

Wacker The Attacker · 01-12-2012 08:00PM

cometogether wrote: »

I love older women

I hope youre not paying them off in war bonds

Wacker The Attacker · 01-12-2012 08:06PM

rebel_rebel wrote: »

my girlfriend is 10 years older than me,(I'm 27) started out as a fling didn't think it would last but over a year 2gether and very happy together,even planning on moving in together

For a second I thought you were moving in with a 17 year old

cometogether · 01-12-2012 08:08PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I hope youre not paying them off in war bonds

Not that old!!

Zaph · 01-12-2012 08:11PM

ProfanityURL wrote: »

I recently heard of a couple that have a 15 year age difference between them. They are both in their later years now but at the time they were married I believe he was in his early 30s so she would have been late teens, maybe 20 when they got together.

Has anyone ever heard of some questionable age differences between people in relationships that made you feel weird? What is the acceptable age difference for relationships to occur? And is it worse if a older man is with a young girl, ie. teenager compared to an older woman with a young boy, assuming the age difference is the same in both examples?

As long as both parties are over the age of consent, the term questionable doesn't really apply. As for what's "acceptable", well are you talking about for yourself or for other people? What you might be comfortable with may be completely different to another couple, but that's their business, not yours, and they certainly don't need to worry if it's acceptable to you or if it offends your sensibilities.

As for the whole argument of being in two different stages of your lives, well in some cases that may be true, but it can't be taken as a given. I got married nearly 6 months ago to a woman 18 years younger than me. We met nearly 4 years ago when I was 41 and she was 23. We're both realistic enough to know that the relationship would not have lasted beyond the first year had we not shared a similar outlook on life and mentality. I'd say that we probably meet somewhere in the middle. We pretty much have the same hopes and aspirations for our future, and I sincerely doubt that there's another woman on the planet that could make me as happy as my wife does. And if anyone has a problem with our age difference or thinks it's weird in some way, well all I can say is fcuk the begrudgers.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 01-12-2012 08:16PM

My wife is 13yrs younger than me. We have been married 5 yrs and have two daughters and couldn't be happier. Age difference is only becomes a problem if you consider it a problem.

Intensive Care Bear · 01-12-2012 08:29PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

For a second I thought you were moving in with a 17 year old

No, that was me, moved in with my 17 year old girlfriend when i was 22. Sounds weird but at the time it had to be done (long story that i don't want to get into) We ended up breaking up 6 years later (not because of the age difference) but remain best friends to this day

NegativeCreep · 01-12-2012 08:31PM

1210m5g wrote: »

No, that was me, moved in with my 17 year old girlfriend when i was 22. Sounds weird but at the time it had to be done (long story that i don't want to get into) We ended up breaking up 6 years later (not because of the age difference) but remain best friends to this day

22 and 17 isn't that weird at all. Sure you could have both been college students.

Eve_Dublin · 01-12-2012 08:49PM

I've always gone for older men or men of the same age. When I was 17/18, my boyfriend was 24. Age was a problem. I was still at school and he was working and looking back, we had very little in common outside the sex. I don't really know what he saw in me personality-wise, tbh. Going to school and living with my parents...I doubt I'd much to say for myself.

Was seeing a guy here for about a year who was 16 years older than me.
We got along very well but it didn't work out. I have to say though, I'd often work out how old he'd be when I was a certain age and I suppose the idea that he'd be dead before me terrified me.

My current boyfriend is 10 years older than me. Generally speaking, it's not an issue. We've got to an understanding now that I head out on a mad one 'till 5am and he wouldn't so much. He's a lot more calm and settled in his ways than I am and I presume it's because of his age. No drama at all and no games. Those traits are what attracts me to him.

0ph0rce0 · 01-12-2012 09:07PM

Trisha XxX · 01-12-2012 09:14PM

ProfanityURL wrote: »

I recently heard of a couple that have a 15 year age difference between them. They are both in their later years now but at the time they were married I believe he was in his early 30s so she would have been late teens, maybe 20 when they got together.

Has anyone ever heard of some questionable age differences between people in relationships that made you feel weird? What is the acceptable age difference for relationships to occur? And is it worse if a older man is with a young girl, ie. teenager compared to an older woman with a young boy, assuming the age difference is the same in both examples?

I think it depends on the maturity level of the people involved and once they're on the same page and know what they want and they're happy I say good for them.

daenerysstormborn3 · 01-12-2012 10:12PM

I have always been known as mature and wise for my age, even when I was 18. I have always been into older men. The oldest was 30 years older than me. It was just 1 or 2 dates and we quickly realised that the age difference was too much. He was divorced and had a child older than I was at the time.

My present boyfriend is 11 years older than me and it seems to be the perfect match. He is at a stage in his life where he is finally settling down and calming down but still wants to party and that is perfect for me. Dating women the same age as him in the past didn't suit him as he wasn't ready to settle into a big relationship. We just seem to be at exactly the right moment in both our lives to be happy with the other.

For me, age does not matter as long as the people involved are of the age of consent and of sound mind.

Calibos · 02-12-2012 12:09AM

How are the Russian and Thai language classes coming along lads??

validusername1 · 02-12-2012 03:12AM

Well I'm 18, age differences don't matter much to me, it depends on the person. In general I just get along better with older guys. The one I'm seeing now is 26, I know that's not much compared to some of the other replies here, but my friends thought it was a bit weird at first, and he seemed to have an issue with it at first too, mainly 'cause I was 17 and still in school when I met him. But after a few months we got to know each other really well and it's over a year later now and even thinking about the age difference seems so far in the past. Neither of us notice it. The only reason he cared the first few months was because I guess the way society sees it.. 25/17.. he probably felt like he was doing something wrong, 'till he got to know me better and realized the age difference is not relevant to us. I think it's like that for a lot of people. I think as long as you have the same outlook and mentality, it can work whatever age you are.

That said though, I would find 20/50 a weird age difference, just because I don't get how a 20 year old could find a 50 year old attractive because they're generally wrinkly/close to bald.. Pretty much contradicting what I said before but yeah still, each to their own. You can't really understand it unless you are one of the people with the age difference, so I can't really say what I think is acceptable 'cause it does just depend.

ashers22 · 02-12-2012 03:55AM

I don't know. I've met a lot of younger girls and while they're smart and fun to be with I'll always feel like I'm holding back vast swathes of myself just so as not to actually scare the **** out of them. Ultimately I'd like to be with someone who I can be myself with, not sure that's even humanly possible at this stage.

Esel · 02-12-2012 04:20AM

"... twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more than eighty goes into twenty." Courtesy of Bette Midler.

Age difference in relationships

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