Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Have you ever bummed yourself up?

  • 18-11-2012 05:20AM
    #1
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound. It's not a place where the ladies will be impressed when you tell them you're a taximan, so I've decided to tell them I'm in human trafficking.


    Have any of you ever sexed up your profession?


«1

Comments

  • #2
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Is it possible to give self anal?


  • #3
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    I have put things in my anus. If thats what you're asking?


  • #4
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Doctor Jimbob wrote: »
    OP, what on earth gave you the idea this was a good thread title?

    I've got Herpes all over, deard god, please help.


  • #5
    Arpa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 442 ✭✭Arpa


    Jesus...human trafficking? I know it's a pun, but I think you'd be better off sticking with Taximan mate.

    I have "exaggerated" not "bummed" my occupation a few times.

    Maybe you were thinking of the phrase, "big yerself up" ........."bummed"............no, no....definitely not bummed.


  • #6
    pappyodaniel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,923 ✭✭✭pappyodaniel


    You must be going somewhere fancy like Longford.

    Just tell the locals you're a cattle dealer and you'll be wellies deep in clunge.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I see a lock in this thread's future.


  • #8
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Where To, have you ever watched the film "Catch me if you can"?


  • #9
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I convinced a group of girls I was a new made Lord from Skibbereen and that I owned a manor estate with 20 acres of forest, a private lake and some farm land that is rented out. I told them my grandfather had just died and that it passed to me as the eldest son of my father. (neither are dead, I just had to fcuk about to keep the lie going) They believed every word of it.

    So, while not my profession, yes, I made my life far more amazing than it is haha.


  • #10
    Rasheed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Rasheed


    Be a fireman OP. You'll have to beat them off with a shiity stick.


  • #11
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    First foreign holiday I was ever on, lad that was with me kept telling the girls he was the Connaught Kick-boxing Champion! :cool:

    (Same lad couldn't kick his way out of his jocks getting into bed! :rolleyes:)

    Surprisingly, it didn't really work! :pac:


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,419 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    You were an extra on fair city, playing a dead body Bigger role in the pipeline.


  • #13
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,464 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Where To wrote: »
    I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound.

    Cavan?


  • #14
    Wicklowrider
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,029 ✭✭✭Wicklowrider


    Told two lady solicitors that me and my mate were fighter pilots. This was back in the '80's and we were in fact private soldiers. I was going out with one of the women for a few weeks and kept up the charade. One day I went to the bank with a mate and we were both in uniform. Bumped into the solicitor outside the bank.She just smirked and asked what happened to the fighter pilots. Mate answered " He was just shot down". And I was.


  • #15
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.


  • #16
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,442 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

    I thought the guy was going to swear he slipped in his shower and just happened to fall on his phone.


  • #17
    mackeire
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,281 ✭✭✭mackeire


    i had a job at the dublin horse show a few years back. i had to basically shovel sh1t from stables into a pile and then pile it into a wheelbarrow.
    I told people i was a pilot.


  • #18
    LD 50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,557 ✭✭✭LD 50


    People do it all the time. its called their C.V


  • #19
    Alejandro Sour Bellboy
    Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Alejandro Sour Bellboy


    call yourself an independent transportation logistics operator
    or manager
    If anyone asks, just keep yelling "unique transportation solutions for YOU!" and run away

    or junior assistant VP :p


  • #20
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

    You have ''interesting'' thoughts, Gummy...


  • #21
    kneemos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,609 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

    Never heard of that paticular one before.


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    Where To wrote: »
    I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound. It's not a place where the ladies will be impressed when you tell them you're a taximan, so I've decided to tell them I'm in human trafficking.


    Have any of you ever sexed up your profession?

    Being female, I find that my chances increase if I sex my profession down... Massively.


  • #23
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Just say you're a personal transport executive


  • #24
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    mackeire wrote: »
    i had a job at the dublin horse show a few years back. i had to basically shovel sh1t from stables into a pile and then pile it into a wheelbarrow.
    I told people i was a pilot.
    Equine Support Specialist.


  • #25
    doyle61
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 442 ✭✭doyle61


    A friend of mine used to say he was an apprentice binman and actually used to score with this story


  • #26
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Doctor Jimbob wrote: »
    OP, what on earth gave you the idea this was a good thread title?
    What's wrong with it?
    'I like to bum' and 'I like bum' arr two completely different things


  • #27
    Shryke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    Where ya going?


  • #28
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Shryke wrote: »
    Where ya going?
    I'm not falling for that one Mr. Burglar. :mad:

    I'm going to vegas baby!!


  • #29
    marnie d
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 148 ✭✭marnie d


    On the question of lying about what I do - not since I was a schoolgirl and used to tell guys I was at college!


  • #30
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Where To wrote: »
    I'm not falling for that one Mr. Burglar. :mad:

    I'm going to vegas baby!!

    See, you're just asking the wrong questions. Where do you live?


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    Rigol
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 465 ✭✭Rigol


    I think I'll remove that.
    Might leave a bad impression.
    But don't you deny it.


Advertisement
Advertisement