Have you ever bummed yourself up?

Where To

I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound. It's not a place where the ladies will be impressed when you tell them you're a taximan, so I've decided to tell them I'm in human trafficking.


Have any of you ever sexed up your profession?

DEFTLEFTHAND

Is it possible to give self anal?

NegativeCreep

I have put things in my anus. If thats what you're asking?

Doctor Jimbob

OP, what on earth gave you the idea this was a good thread title?

WoollyRedHat

Doctor Jimbob wrote: »

OP, what on earth gave you the idea this was a good thread title?

I've got Herpes all over, deard god, please help.

Arpa

Jesus...human trafficking? I know it's a pun, but I think you'd be better off sticking with Taximan mate.

I have "exaggerated" not "bummed" my occupation a few times.

Maybe you were thinking of the phrase, "big yerself up" ........."bummed"............no, no....definitely not bummed.

pappyodaniel

You must be going somewhere fancy like Longford.

Just tell the locals you're a cattle dealer and you'll be wellies deep in clunge.

I see a lock in this thread's future.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Where To, have you ever watched the film "Catch me if you can"?

minidazzler

I convinced a group of girls I was a new made Lord from Skibbereen and that I owned a manor estate with 20 acres of forest, a private lake and some farm land that is rented out. I told them my grandfather had just died and that it passed to me as the eldest son of my father. (neither are dead, I just had to fcuk about to keep the lie going) They believed every word of it.

So, while not my profession, yes, I made my life far more amazing than it is haha.

Rasheed

Be a fireman OP. You'll have to beat them off with a shiity stick.

randylonghorn

First foreign holiday I was ever on, lad that was with me kept telling the girls he was the Connaught Kick-boxing Champion! :cool:

(Same lad couldn't kick his way out of his jocks getting into bed! :rolleyes:)

Surprisingly, it didn't really work! :pac:

ToddyDoody

You were an extra on fair city, playing a dead body Bigger role in the pipeline.

xzanti

Where To wrote: »

I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound.

Cavan?

Wicklowrider

Told two lady solicitors that me and my mate were fighter pilots. This was back in the '80's and we were in fact private soldiers. I was going out with one of the women for a few weeks and kept up the charade. One day I went to the bank with a mate and we were both in uniform. Bumped into the solicitor outside the bank.She just smirked and asked what happened to the fighter pilots. Mate answered " He was just shot down". And I was.

Gummy Panda

I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

Grayson

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

I thought the guy was going to swear he slipped in his shower and just happened to fall on his phone.

mackeire

i had a job at the dublin horse show a few years back. i had to basically shovel sh1t from stables into a pile and then pile it into a wheelbarrow.
I told people i was a pilot.

LD 50

People do it all the time. its called their C.V

coffee_cake

call yourself an independent transportation logistics operator
or manager
If anyone asks, just keep yelling "unique transportation solutions for YOU!" and run away

or junior assistant VP

Autonomous Cowherd

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

You have ''interesting'' thoughts, Gummy...

kneemos

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I thought this thread was going to be about people backing into dildos with those suction cups at the end so they can stick onto a wall.

Never heard of that paticular one before.

Shenshen

Where To wrote: »

I'm heading off on my holidays in a couple of days, to a place where shallow people and deep wallets abound. It's not a place where the ladies will be impressed when you tell them you're a taximan, so I've decided to tell them I'm in human trafficking.


Have any of you ever sexed up your profession?

Being female, I find that my chances increase if I sex my profession down... Massively.

anncoates

Just say you're a personal transport executive

Where To

mackeire wrote: »

i had a job at the dublin horse show a few years back. i had to basically shovel sh1t from stables into a pile and then pile it into a wheelbarrow.
I told people i was a pilot.

Equine Support Specialist.

doyle61

A friend of mine used to say he was an apprentice binman and actually used to score with this story

Where To

Doctor Jimbob wrote: »

OP, what on earth gave you the idea this was a good thread title?

What's wrong with it?
'I like to bum' and 'I like bum' arr two completely different things

Shryke

Where ya going?

Where To

Shryke wrote: »

Where ya going?

I'm not falling for that one Mr. Burglar. :mad:

I'm going to vegas baby!!

marnie d

On the question of lying about what I do - not since I was a schoolgirl and used to tell guys I was at college!

Where To

Where To wrote: »

I'm not falling for that one Mr. Burglar. :mad:

I'm going to vegas baby!!

See, you're just asking the wrong questions. Where do you live?