Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Have you ever bummed yourself up?

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Rigol
    Registered Users Posts: 465 ✭✭Rigol


    I think I'll remove that.
    Might leave a bad impression.
    But don't you deny it.


  • Options
    #33
    pappyodaniel
    Registered Users Posts: 5,720 ✭✭✭pappyodaniel


    I remember giving a lift to a group of lads going to Ennis. On the way I had to stop at a couple of their houses. When they came out I noticed they had changed into black suits and ties. Their plan was when they got to a nightclub to all chip in for a bottle of champagne and to make sure everyone saw them.

    When they were asked what they were celebrating they would tell people that they were all brothers and they had just had a meeting with their solicitor. They were given the news that their deceased bachelor uncle had just left them everything. A large stately home, 200acres of land and about half a million each.

    I don't know how they got on but I hope they spent loadsa money and no women gave them the time of day.


  • Options
    #34
    Jumblon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭Jumblon


    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )


  • Options
    #35
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    When I was much younger, my first ever job was at a petrol station, pretty much pumping petrol. I would refer to myself as a Fuel-Injection Engineer.


  • Options
    #36
    Pottler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,073 ✭✭✭Pottler


    I have, I bent my job over the sofa and took it up the C.V.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    Jumblon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭Jumblon


    Cloacal vent?


  • Options
    #38
    thier
    Registered Users Posts: 87 ✭✭thier


    This is the most annoying thread title ever. Can't you change it?


  • Options
    #39
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »
    You have ''interesting'' thoughts, Gummy...

    I am wiser then my years.. :cool:


  • Options
    #40
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,170 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    The best I've ever seen was a mate who spun the story that he was a marine biologist and when asked about it nonchalantly mentioned the dolphins he trained... :rolleyes:

    Worked though.


  • Options
    #41
    Intensive Care Bear
    Registered Users Posts: 661 ✭✭✭Intensive Care Bear


    Title reminded me of this http://youtu.be/CVBYwntkiFA


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #42
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Sleepy wrote: »
    The best I've ever seen was a mate who spun the story that he was a marine biologist and when asked about it nonchalantly mentioned the dolphins he trained... :rolleyes:

    Worked though.

    It's all well and good until he has to pull a golf ball from the blowhole of a beached whale.


  • Options
    #43
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    thier wrote: »
    This is the most annoying thread title ever. Can't you change it?
    Do people not use that phrase everywhere?
    I thought they did. A 'bum' here means a person who likes to boast about themselves.

    Sorry for the confusion.:(


  • Options
    #44
    ringadingding
    Registered Users Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    I used to work in a very fancy restaurant, and people would leave business cards in the crystal vase on the reception desk.

    Before I went to Vegas I rooted through them, picking out the best most impressive dozen, and at any particular moment I could be any one of the dozen :-)


  • Options
    #45
    Hippies!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    I've bummed myself down, I find when I tell women what I do they get over excited and expect me to be something I'm not so usually I pretend to be an average joe soap and see if they like me for me :o


  • Options
    #46
    Frynge
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    When I was a window cleaner I had business cards made up with profession listed as 'Wall to wall transparency co-ordinatar'


  • Options
    #47
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Frynge wrote: »
    When I was a window cleaner I had business cards made up with profession listed as 'Wall to wall transparency co-ordinatar'
    Should hire yourself out to the politicians! :pac:


  • Options
    #48
    Frynge
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    Should hire yourself out to the politicians! :pac:

    I used to, before this aul recession. It was a great gig I had in the dail, €80 per square foot of mirror I was getting. They never even noticed.


  • Options
    #49
    Feelgood
    Registered Users Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    My mate on the dole tells everyone he works for the government.


  • Options
    #50
    Tom Dunne
    Registered Users Posts: 23,212 ✭✭✭✭Tom Dunne


    (most confusing thread title ever)

    Myself and a few friends were in Hicksville USA some time back and of course when the locals heard the accents they were fascinated.

    When the standard question "So what are you guys doing over here" question arose, I cut across my friend who was just about to give the usual spiel and told the locals we were working for the European Military Alliance. Nearby was the White Sands Missile range, so I thought it appropriate to tell them that we worked on software and control systems for missiles. My friend decided to get in on the act and asked them "You know how on CNN you see the missiles, in black-and-white, zooming in on the target?". To which, of course, they replied in the affirmative, "Well, we go around an pick up the ones that miss and try to and fix them."

    True Story.


Advertisement