Does being sceptical of mixed-race relationships automatically make you racist?

coonecb1 · 13-11-2012 12:17AM

GoldenLight wrote: »

coonecb1 wrote: »

As I point out yes the OP (opening post) is racist, why because it's questioning different races, by generalising about each race being different isn't actually a bad thing, neither is this thread, but he/she did ask if it was racists and I answered, it is (I never said it was a bad thing to question things on race, I do suggest that excepting things as truths and believes based on race is wrong though (both are actually racists))

I also pointed out, that I didn't believe the OP (orginal poster) was actually being racist, I would need more details on what he/she was spectical about in difference in a realtionship. The difference they present could be echoed in Catholic and Protestant families up north, during the troubles. It can have as much to do with peer pressure from a community/tradition point of view as it may from a race/national point of view. (Some of the time that can be intertwined)

You've contradicted yourself there.

GoldenLight · 13-11-2012 12:23AM

coonecb1 wrote: »

GoldenLight wrote: »

You've contradicted yourself there.

Nope I actual point out the difference between, a statement or a post being racist, and a racists person, both are completely different. I also explained why.

But as always you can feel free to disagree.

humanji · 13-11-2012 12:36AM

OP, it doesn't make you racist. It does make you sound like you should have better things to worry about.

Calibos · 13-11-2012 12:37AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

What a pile of sanctimonious drivel. Had you read my original post, you'd see I cited an academic text, based on researched conducted by two Professors, which noted that black man/white woman relationships are twice as likely to fail as white man/white woman relationships. Not once did I use the term "skin colour". When I say 'white' or 'black', I am referring as much to the two groups' cultural differences as anything else.

Well include that pertinent qualifier in your own opening drivel then! :rolleyes:

Killer Wench · 13-11-2012 12:50AM

Following the OP's rational, why would anyone want to marry in the US considering that 50% of first time marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. As I see it, mixed marriages has the same likelihood of success as any marriage.

Secondly, race is a social construction. You confused race and ethnic identity in your original post. Here in the US, the Irish, English, Welsh, and Scottish are all part of the same race - White race but they are distinct ethnic identities. However, from talking to some Irish people, they (you?) consider yourself a distinct racial group separate from the English. There is no genetic basis for racial divisions; however, due to shared ancestral origin, there is genetic ties for those who share an ethnic identity.

Thirdly, every ethnic culture today has been the product of mixture. The Irish people are the descendants of Iberians, Celts, Vikings, Gauls, Britons, etc. so it isn't new.

Killer Wench · 13-11-2012 12:53AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

\When I say 'white' or 'black', I am referring as much to the two groups' cultural differences as anything else.

That's asinine. When I lived in Ireland, I met a Nigerian-Irish bus driver who heard my accent and asked if I was American. I said that I was and he gestured towards his own face and said, "I can tell. You don't look like us". In contrast, I met many Irish people who say my black skin and assumed that I was Nigerian. As an American, I probably share more cultural similarities with Irish people than I do with Nigerians, but you would lump us into one group because of skin tone.

Big Bottom · 13-11-2012 12:58AM

This might sound a bit weird but lot of African guys I see with Irish girls, the girls always seem a little well, over weight.

Do black guys like heavier girls?

Theres nothing wrong with that of course.

poeticseraphim · 13-11-2012 01:05AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread, I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults, and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

But why is it racist to be sceptical of mixed-race relationships? They have a much higher divorce rate in racially-mixed countries like the United States than marriages between people of the same background.

An academic article, visible here, by Professor Jenifer Bratter (who is herself of mixed-background) and Professor Rosalind King, entitled "But Will It Last?": Duration of Interracial Unions Compared to Similar Race Relationships", included in Volume 57, Issue 2 of the publication Family Relations, states that White Wife/Black Husband marriages have twice the divorce rate as White Wife/White Husband marriages.

As I say, I'm not against mixed-race relationships, I don't think we should have anti-miscegenation laws, as they had in the state of Virginia until 1967, or in South Africa under apartheid. However, if a close friend or relative happened to date someone of a different ethnicity, I would probably be slightly apprehensive about it.

I also do not believe that children whose parents are separated are as likely to have a happy, prosperous childhood as children raised with married parents. That does not mean I am against divorce, just that I find divorce especially saddening when children are involved.

You are racist. The reason you are apprehensive about your friend in a mixed relationship is not to do with statistics as the statistics tell a complicated story.

Out of any couple mixed or non mixed Asian/white interracial newlyweds had a higher combined annual income than any other pairing, at over $70,000 per year. They did financially better than Asian/Asian pairings etc etc.

White men/non-White women couples show either very little or no differences in divorce rates.

White women /with non white males married in the 80's show higher divorce rates..but not after 2005.

Did you ever stop to consider that maybe racist attitudes like yours could actually be part of the reason couples feel such pressure???

If you have a friend who chooses a partner of another race to spend their life with mind your own business and keep your racism to yourself and support them ...

This is an account of a black woman happily married to a white man...

“One study conducted a decade ago determined that mixed-race couples had a 41 percent chance of separation or divorce, compared to a 31 percent chance for those who married within their race.

Another analysis found divorce rates among mixed-race couples to be more dependent on the specific race combination, with white women who married outside their race more likely to divorce. Mixed marriages involving blacks and whites also were considered least stable, followed by Hispanic-white couples.”

While this study seems to imply that people are getting divorced because they are in a mixed-race marriage, I question whether or not the rise in interracial couples tying the knot is such a huge accomplishment. If the rise in interracial marriage indicates that race relations have improved- according to Cornell University Professor Daniel Lichter- then divorce rates among mixed marriages may cancel out that theory. Don’t you think?

I can’t speak for all multicultural couples. But as a black woman married to a white man, I do agree that there are racial differences. I don’t expect my husband to fully understand my black struggles, but he is sensitive to them. He’ll never be able to relate to many racial experiences I’ve had, but he listens. He’s able to sympathize with whatever it is I’m going through. In general, I think all marriages have ups and downs. Sometimes you’ll have to make sacrifices, but that’s true for all marriages. As long as there’s love, communication, and understanding that all that matters. I would love to sit down with these integrated couples and find out why they decided to sign those divorce papers. I think the implication of marriages ending because of race seems quite bizarre.

My hubby and I have been married for 7 years and still going strong!

The problem is not interacial marriages ...but pressures on them from racism ....the problem is not interacial relationships or marriage but you OP.

Anyway the stats for people earning differing amounts or poverty stricken people are worse somtimes.

The rate of divorce in Black/White marriage is 42% vrs 32% in white /white marriage...why would that make you skeptical divorce rate is much more affected by education..or the age of the couple.

There are other factors that affect divorce statistically much more and race does not affect it that much more only by 10% .

There is still a 56% chance of them making it ...making bi racial babies and pissing you off.:)

Plus every year they stay married the chances of them staying married goes up..this marriage is going to last forever:)

It is so romantic:P:P:P I love weddings :P:P:P

-_- You're Racist -_-
:mad::mad::mad:

se02orqua5xz9v · 13-11-2012 01:08AM

Killer Wench wrote: »

As I see it, mixed marriages has the same likelihood of success as any marriage.

Did you bother to look at the academic article I cited? Black husband/White wife marriages are twice as likely to end in divorce as White husband/White wife marriages. It's a proven statistical fact. So no, mixed marriages do not have the same likelihood of success as any marriage.

Killer Wench wrote: »

You confused race and ethnic identity in your original post.

No, I did not. Not once did I use the word 'race' on its own. I used 'mixed-race' because it is an accepted academic term. 'Mixed-ethnicity' is not. Try a Google search of the two phrases. 'Mixed-race' yields 9.6 million results, whereas 'mixed-ethnicity' yields less than ⅓ million results.

I do not view Nigerians, Pakistanis or Brazilians as belonging to a different race. I see them all as part of the human race. Ethnicity is different from race.

poeticseraphim · 13-11-2012 01:10AM

And your stats are incorrect interracial marriages only have a 10% more chance of ending in divorce and it depends on the combo. Other factors such as education earnings and political beliefs affect divorce rates more.

I think racism itself is what is putting pressure on these relationships ....attitudes like yours are what cause the pressure.

LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL.

JustAThought · 13-11-2012 01:17AM

OP dont mind them. Did you know that the Jesuits employ over 200 journalists + lobbyists in Dublin to put across their messages .

No doubt half the possy here could be in their pocket.

Dont you know that youre not allowed to express personal thoughts or pose contentious questions anymore. We may not be Holy Mother Ireland snymore, but in censorship and fear we are certainly closer to Nazi Germany in thought submission + whitewashing. Sorry - blackwashing.

se02orqua5xz9v · 13-11-2012 01:18AM

poeticseraphim wrote: »

Did you ever stop to consider that maybe racist attitudes like yours could actually be part of the reason couples feel such pressure??? The problem is not interracial relationships or marriage but you OP.

Yes, I'm personally responsible for every husband who walks out on his family, if he and his wife happen to be of different ethnic backgrounds.

poeticseraphim wrote: »

There is still a 56% chance of them making it ... Making bi racial babies and pissing you off.:)

What a vile comment to make. How dare you suggest that I am inherently against biracial children. Not once did I reference biracial people, let alone attack them. That you are reduced slandering me with such remarks exposes the weakness in your own argument.

hooradiation · 13-11-2012 01:24AM

poeticseraphim wrote: »

And your stats are incorrect interracial marriages only have a 10% more chance of ending in divorce and it depends on the combo. Other factors such as education earnings and political beliefs affect divorce rates more.

Who would have thought that human relationships are complex, multifaceted things and trying to make definitive statements on them using one aspect as your basis would be foolish?

hatrickpatrick · 13-11-2012 01:27AM

Not really, but I'm just curious why exactly do you regard them with scepticism? Any particular reason you reckon they won't last?

Killer Wench · 13-11-2012 01:27AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

Did you bother to look at the academic article I cited? Black husband/White wife marriages are twice as likely to end in divorce as White husband/White wife marriages. It's a proven statistical fact. So no, mixed marriages do not have the same likelihood of success as any marriage.

BM/WW is one form of interracial marriage but studies have shown that BW/WM are less likely to divorce than WW/WM marriages.

"Conversely, White men/non-White women couples show either very little or
no differences in divorce rates; or, as in the case of White men and Black women, are substantially less likely than White/White couples to divorce by their 10th year."

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00491.x/pdf

No, I did not. Not once did I use the word 'race' on its own. I used 'mixed-race' because it is an accepted academic term. 'Mixed-ethnicity' is not. Try a Google search of the two phrases. 'Mixed-race' yields 9.6 million results, whereas 'mixed-ethnicity' yields less than ⅓ million results.

I do not view Nigerians, Pakistanis or Brazilians as belonging to a different race. I see them all as part of the human race. Ethnicity is different from race.

Mixed, racially mixed, and racist. Those are the terms you used. In academia, the term used is multi-ethnic identity and not mixed ethnicity.

poeticseraphim · 13-11-2012 01:58AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

Yes, I'm personally responsible for every husband who walks out on his family, if he and his wife happen to be of different ethnic backgrounds.

What a vile comment to make. How dare you suggest that I am inherently against biracial children. Not once did I reference biracial people, let alone attack them. That you are reduced slandering me with such remarks exposes the weakness in your own argument.

How do bi-racial people come about then? You have stated you are sceptical about mixed relationships.

What about Bi-racial people with a person of one race by the way????

It is you who are vile.

Just think for a moment...you just said that

There is still a 56% chance of them making it ... Making bi racial babies and pissing you off

....was a vile comment. ....why??? Would a couple having a mixed race child be vile to you?

You have stated you are sceptical regarding multi-ethnic relationships...why is it such a leap to suggest you are sceptical regarding multi-ethnic parenting or the procreation within these relationships ? Infact it would seem to suggest that you are.

How can you say you are sceptical about interracial marriage and would say so to a friend and expect that Biracial people might not be offended??

Yes, I'm personally responsible for every husband who walks out on his family, if he and his wife happen to be of different ethnic backgrounds.

The way you have put that says a lot. You make prejudiced assumptions. You assume the husband walks out on the wife because of his race and her race. That is racism. You are prejudiced against these couples..you are pre-judging them on grounds of race ...that is racial prejudice. You are assuming things about couples because of the races they belong to. Statistics say a lot about race in society that has nothing to do with marriage. And if you were to judge a member of that race on those stats you would be considered racist.

The attitude you are showing is partially responsible. And how you cannot see your comments and attitude as racist is beyond me.

GoldenLight · 13-11-2012 02:39AM

I would like to tell a story here, just so that people don't always believe they are right.

My best friend used to date a certain type of girl, generally they looked very much like his first love, even the same colour hair, and style, height and body frame, they all could be sisters. But I generalised about these girls and believed my friend was always falling for an idea of his first love, and I would state it to him and our friends (some agreed with me) as a fact, and what a fool he was, in living in the past

Until one day I ended up in one of the girlfriends company for the afternoon completely by accident, she saw right through me and questioned why I disliked her so much and didn't trust her. Infact at the end of the conversation she was able to point out and awful lot of similarities to the people I went out with and we ended up great friends.

Moral of the tale I assumed and excepted as truth, that because GF A did the dirt and broke my best friend heart, that GF B, would do the same. I made that assumption based on looks alone.

GF A, was a completely different naltionality than GF B,

One broke his heart the other married him and traveled the world with him, and had two beautiful kids with him, I never seen a happier couple together and he is the one who ended up in my eyes with the better deal.

As i said we all generalize and make assumption, that's fine, to understand, but really don't ever believe your assumptions are true or fact, that's your mistake.

Always remember your reality is always flawed

Cosmicfox · 13-11-2012 09:31AM

We did a bit about this in home-ec for LC.

People are more likely to stay together if the have similiar backgrounds, eg same class, same race, same religion, smaller age gaps. Less chance of conflict and less outside pressure.

Something like that anyway. If you really love the person it shouldn't matter

Shenshen · 13-11-2012 09:42AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread, I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults, and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

But why is it racist to be sceptical of mixed-race relationships? They have a much higher divorce rate in racially-mixed countries like the United States than marriages between people of the same background.

An academic article, visible here, by Professor Jenifer Bratter (who is herself of mixed-background) and Professor Rosalind King, entitled "But Will It Last?": Duration of Interracial Unions Compared to Similar Race Relationships", included in Volume 57, Issue 2 of the publication Family Relations, states that White Wife/Black Husband marriages have twice the divorce rate as White Wife/White Husband marriages.

As I say, I'm not against mixed-race relationships, I don't think we should have anti-miscegenation laws, as they had in the state of Virginia until 1967, or in South Africa under apartheid. However, if a close friend or relative happened to date someone of a different ethnicity, I would probably be slightly apprehensive about it.

I also do not believe that children whose parents are separated are as likely to have a happy, prosperous childhood as children raised with married parents. That does not mean I am against divorce, just that I find divorce especially saddening when children are involved.

"Never trust any statistics you didn't fake yourself".
That was how our lecturer on statistics opened his first lesson with us, and I have to agree with him.
Statistics are of limited use, they will only tell you about averages. Human beings aren't averages, though, they are individuals.
So while statistically, people in mixed marriages are more likely to have problems, that does not mean that the relationship someone starts with a person from a different background is not going to be the happiest marriage ever, and the best thing that ever happened to them.
The same is true about divorce : while on average, children have a higher chance of facing problems if their parents are divorced, that does by no means mean that to any particular child, their parents splitting up isn't the best day of their lives (it was for me, until the day I married someone from a different ethnicity).

I think you're not a racist, I think you've just fallen into the trap of assuming that just because something might be true on average, it's true for every single individual.

iDave · 13-11-2012 09:48AM

I would never date someone from Mayo....there i said it.

desertcircus · 13-11-2012 09:55AM

Does crassly abusing statistical analysis, ignoring contrary evidence and failing to understand that variability within an ethnic grouping is far higher than variability between ethnic averages make you racist? Yes. It also makes you incompetent at drawing accurate conclusions from statistics.

Leftist · 13-11-2012 09:59AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread, I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults, and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

But why is it racist to be sceptical of mixed-race relationships? They have a much higher divorce rate in racially-mixed countries like the United States than marriages between people of the same background.

An academic article, visible here, by Professor Jenifer Bratter (who is herself of mixed-background) and Professor Rosalind King, entitled "But Will It Last?": Duration of Interracial Unions Compared to Similar Race Relationships", included in Volume 57, Issue 2 of the publication Family Relations, states that White Wife/Black Husband marriages have twice the divorce rate as White Wife/White Husband marriages.

As I say, I'm not against mixed-race relationships, I don't think we should have anti-miscegenation laws, as they had in the state of Virginia until 1967, or in South Africa under apartheid. However, if a close friend or relative happened to date someone of a different ethnicity, I would probably be slightly apprehensive about it.

I also do not believe that children whose parents are separated are as likely to have a happy, prosperous childhood as children raised with married parents. That does not mean I am against divorce, just that I find divorce especially saddening when children are involved.

christ on a bike.

BrendaN_f · 13-11-2012 10:03AM

MaxSteele wrote: »

West African males with white Irish women, I probably would be a bit skeptical yes. Purely because of the prevalence of the number of scam marriages in Europe. Particularly here.

I must say though, oriental and far east asian people seem to have a great attitude and commitment to marriage and family. Going on a number of them I know personally.

a not-so-rare sighting of the paradox that is the racist internet dweller with yellow-fever

Wibbs · 13-11-2012 10:11AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

No just ignorant. As has been explained many times by scientists there is no such thing as race just different cultures.

Ah well I dunno about that. One could argue that's a (rightful) over swing of the pendulum coming back from earlier science and scientists that held highly dubious views on the different populations of modern humanity. Skin colour is obviously way too broad a brush to denote different populations, but different populations do exist with varying degrees of overlap of course. To deny that IMHO is nearly as daft and in some ways nearly as dangerous.

We see these differences in the obvious observable external differences(phenotype), but also in our individual genetic heritage(genotype). Take people from Sub Saharan Africa, a "Pygmy" - lets say a Baka to narrow it down as dwarfism occurs in other populations - and a Maasai and a San Bushman. All "black" if you're a slack jawed racist, but all quite different, with different features, different growth rates, different longevity, different immune responses, different responses to diet, different responses to some medications, the list is quite long. Compare any of them to say a Swiss or a Korean or an Iranian and other differences come up and these differences are plain to see externally and genetically.

While race as a concept is both lazy and clumsy a definition modern peoples clearly break down into different and unique populations, that reflect local adaptations and even local echoes of earlier human populations. Europeans and Asians retain a different set of genetic legacies from archaic humans compared to Africans. While Europeans can contain 4 odd % of archaic DNA, some populations of east Asians contain up to 14% of their DNA from archaic humans(Denisovans, Neandertals and possibly Erectus), DNA not present in modern Africans.

Shenshen · 13-11-2012 10:19AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Ah well I dunno about that. One could argue that's a (rightful) over swing of the pendulum coming back from earlier science and scientists that held highly dubious views on the different populations of modern humanity. Skin colour is obviously way too broad a brush to denote different populations, but different populations do exist with varying degrees of overlap of course. To deny that IMHO is nearly as daft and in some ways nearly as dangerous.

We see these differences in the obvious observable external differences(phenotype), but also in our individual genetic heritage(genotype). Take people from Sub Saharan Africa, a "Pygmy" - lets say a Baka to narrow it down as dwarfism occurs in other populations - and a Maasai and a San Bushman. All "black" if you're a slack jawed racist, but all quite different, with different features, different growth rates, different longevity, different immune responses, different responses to diet, different responses to some medications, the list is quite long. Compare any of them to say a Swiss or a Korean or an Iranian and other differences come up and these differences are plain to see externally and genetically.

While race as a concept is both lazy and clumsy a definition modern peoples clearly break down into different and unique populations, that reflect local adaptations and even local echoes of earlier human populations. Europeans and Asians retain a different set of genetic legacies from archaic humans compared to Africans. While Europeans can contain 4 odd % of archaic DNA, some populations of east Asians contain up to 14% of their DNA from archaic humans(Denisovans, Neandertals and possibly Erectus), DNA not present in modern Africans.

I've no quarrels with any of the above, but I would wonder if any of it has a direct bearing on marital happiness.

Ellis Dee · 13-11-2012 10:50AM

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread ---

Gee, how could any of us in AH do that?

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults --

How tolerant and 21st-century of you. Fortunately, the legislation in all truly civilised countries and a growing majority of the population nowadays agree with you. Some even go further than "consenting adults" and have no problem with children of different skin colours and ethic backgrounds being friends and playing with each other.

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

--- and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

I hope it was nice while it lasted, but perhaps you should ask yourself why she dumped you.:rolleyes:

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

-However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

Provided you associate with reasonable people, you will never be branded a racist for expressing your - preferably reasoned - views, unless those views are actually racist. :cool:

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

But why is it racist to be sceptical of mixed-race relationships? They have a much higher divorce rate in racially-mixed countries like the United States than marriages between people of the same background.

As Machiavelli taught us, recognition of realities is the beginning of all wisdom. Thus it is not necessarily racist, xenophobic, class-conscious snobbery or homophobic to be apprehensive when two people of considerably different backgrounds, i.e of different "races" (actually of different skin colours or ethnic backgrounds, because there is only one human race), religions, languages, socioeconomic classes or indeed of the same sex decide to share their lives together.

The divorce rate among such unions is higher because of the hostility and pressures they will have to face from their environment, a society in which bigotry and intolerance still very much exist. But wise people realise that the problem is not mixed marriages, but intolerance, bigotry and ignorance.:rolleyes:

And those, OP, are the things that you should be opposing rather than attempting to discourage couples who are likely to become the victims of those things as they embark on the path onto which love has steered them.:)

Wibbs · 13-11-2012 11:03AM

Shenshen wrote: »

I've no quarrels with any of the above, but I would wonder if any of it has a direct bearing on marital happiness.

Oh certainly, mixed culture marriages might be the better question to ask. In those cases race can have nada to do with it. EG a marriage between a black a la carte christian Londoner woman and a black devout Muslim from Saudi Arabia is likely to face way more internal and external challenges than if the same woman married a white Londoner. If given the choice I'd go out with/marry the same imaginary black Londoner waaaaay before I'd marry a white right wing Christian from the US.

Leftist · 13-11-2012 11:17AM

there's more black people in prison in america than white people, yet the population is 12% vs 70%, so judging by 'statistics' black people are more likely to break the law.

I'll tell you what you can do with your stats, you can stick them in your hat.

Grayson · 13-11-2012 11:23AM

People that have stuff in common more likely to have successful relationship shocker!!

BTW, race doesn't matter. I could imagine cultural background does and people often confuse the two. I would imagine I would find it harder to have a relationship with someone who grew up in a tribe in the middle of the amazon (to name an extreme example) whereas someone who has the same generic make up but grew up in a city in Brazil would be a different matter.

I'm not saying it couldn't work. Love is a strange fruit. But it's got a better chance of succeeding if there is a greater common shared ground than both being the same species.

Personally, I find foreign girls more interesting.

OldNotWIse · 13-11-2012 11:37AM

I dont think OP is racist - the racism card is used so much nowadays against people who simply have an opinion, but he/she is perhaps guilty of overlooking the fact that a huge proportion of homoethnic (I just invented a word

) realtionships also fail.

My OH is not Irish and I will be honest and say that it has caused problems for me (and I am sure she would say "my OH is not (her nationality) and that has caused problems for me). Language barrier for a start (our mother tongues are different so often nuances, sarcasm, humour etc can be lost/hard to explain/killed in the process of explaining lol) and of course we have cultural differences that at times are great but other times are maddening) - then again we are probably just racist...

Does being sceptical of mixed-race relationships automatically make you racist?

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