Does being sceptical of mixed-race relationships automatically make you racist?

se02orqua5xz9v

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread, I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults, and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

But why is it racist to be sceptical of mixed-race relationships? They have a much higher divorce rate in racially-mixed countries like the United States than marriages between people of the same background.

An academic article, visible here, by Professor Jenifer Bratter (who is herself of mixed-background) and Professor Rosalind King, entitled "But Will It Last?": Duration of Interracial Unions Compared to Similar Race Relationships", included in Volume 57, Issue 2 of the publication Family Relations, states that White Wife/Black Husband marriages have twice the divorce rate as White Wife/White Husband marriages.

As I say, I'm not against mixed-race relationships, I don't think we should have anti-miscegenation laws, as they had in the state of Virginia until 1967, or in South Africa under apartheid. However, if a close friend or relative happened to date someone of a different ethnicity, I would probably be slightly apprehensive about it.

I also do not believe that children whose parents are separated are as likely to have a happy, prosperous childhood as children raised with married parents. That does not mean I am against divorce, just that I find divorce especially saddening when children are involved.

Scioch

Pretty sure you're a racist.

Zab

I don't really see what good you expect to come of this post

frozenfrozen

black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow

Nodin

....what it doesn't seem to layout is cultural differences. A second generation African Irish lad is going to be far more culturally similar to the majority of irish people than somebody here a year or two. Likewise the Chinese etc.

Celly Smunt

If anything i think it makes a relationship stronger,especially if they're both different nationalities.I have 2 friends married to black woman,one dutch and one american.I have 3 muslim friends from syria all married to Irish women and have the happiest relationships going.

The clash of traditions makes them happier if anything.

9959

YES

mackg

Compared to White/White couples, White female/Black male, and White female/Asian male marriages were more prone to divorce; meanwhile, those involving non-White females and White males and Hispanics and non-Hispanic persons had similar or lower risks of divorce.

There you have it, marry a white guy. PM me.

Where To

Does not believing you are a racist even though you hold racist beliefs still make you a racist?

Yes. Yes it does.

Lenin Skynard

So I hear you're...

Nah nevermind.

cml387

Marry wthin your species. Always worked for me.

im invisible

i'm not a racist, but...

Nodin

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone (....) are involved.

Your last attempt at stirring the shit was asking opinions on a 'gay joke' in the lgbt forum. Why did you bring your antics here?

meoklmrk91

Ah here, I would much prefer a child be raised by divorced parents who are happier than parents who are in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids. As a child who grew up in the latter household I can tell you that you are doing them no favours and divorce is a much healthier option for every involved.

I don't think there is any reason to think that mixed race marriages are doomed to failure. You give America as an example but in fairness the divorce rate in America is really high anyway regardless of rave or backround sooo... Yeah.

juan.kerr

Of course not. And anyone who thinks it is racist is in fact racist.

Lenin Skynard

juan.kerr wrote: »

Of course not. And anyone who thinks it is racist is in fact racist.

The old "takes one to know one" argument eh? Or "I know you are but what am I?"

Mr. CooL ICE

cml387 wrote: »

Marry wthin your species. Always worked for me.

I would prefer all Tipperary people to only marry Tipperary people. Don't spread your genes around, please.

Guy:Incognito

Everything makes you racist now.

Nodin

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Everything makes you racist now.

Even tea?

phoenix999

Mixed race marriages=Ridiculously cute babies

juan.kerr

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

The old "takes one to know one" argument eh? Or "I know you are but what am I?"

You're not wrong. As they say, there's no smoke without fire.

Big Bottom

But you shouldnt be concerning yourself about other peoples relationships.

If two people are happy together thats all that matters, other people being less than confident about the survival of the relationship as you put it is just interfering.

Lenin Skynard

juan.kerr wrote: »

You're not wrong. As they say, there's no smoke without fire.

At the end of the day, they do say that.

juan.kerr

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

At the end of the day, they do say that.

Spot on, no bother.

MagicMarker

You know what, I've never even thought about it. You know why? Because I don't give a shít what the likelihood is of a relationship ending based on race.

Why do you care? What business is it of yours what other people get up to? The fact that you felt the need to start this thread, and the fact that you would feel "apprehensive" about a friend or family member getting involved with someone of a different race is quite telling tbh....

Jimoslimos

I'm sceptical of the shíte that passes for academic literature.

Chuck Stone

Xiomara Lemon Shelf wrote: »

First of all, lest anyone misinterpret the headline of this thread, I am not against mixed-race relationships. I believe people should be allowed to date whoever they want, as long both parties are consenting adults, and I myself would not be adverse to dating someone of a different ethnicity, as I have done in the past (albeit briefly).

However, when it comes to two people of different ethnicities dating or marrying, I cannot help but feel less confident about the survival of their relationship than if both were of the same ethnic background. I dare not say this to anyone but my closest friends, for fear of being branded a racist.

Hidden messages and all Mr White Supremacist. You just don't want the white man to water down his pure genes.

budgemook

I understand your point and don't think it makes you racist. You're basically sceptical of relationships between people from very different backgrounds. Like if a young farmer started dating a girl from a rough council estate, or a traveller started dating a TD's kid. Might work, but you'd be sceptical.

Catari Jaguar

White men seem to love their little Thai Brides, or those Busty Russians (if pop ups are to be believed) and the AHers sure have a fascination with them Polish wimminz. Or is it just a Black/ White thing?

mikemac1

LordChessington wrote: »

I would prefer all Tipperary people to only marry Tipperary people. Don't spread your genes around, please.

Sure we have Tipperary North Riding and South Riding

Just love the ridin here in Tipp

juan.kerr

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Hidden messages and all Mr White Supremacist. You just don't want the white man to water down his pure genes.

Damn right.

MagicMarker

budgemook wrote: »

I understand your point and don't think it makes you racist. You're basically sceptical of relationships between people from very different backgrounds. Like if a young farmer started dating a girl from a rough council estate, or a traveller started dating a TD's kid. Might work, but you'd be sceptical.

You may have missed the whole "mixed-race" part of the thread title. The OP's not talking about a farmer and a girl from a council estate ffs.

MakeEmLaugh

Scioch wrote: »

Pretty sure you're a racist.

Against who? The OP never said what background they were from.

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Hidden messages and all Mr White Supremacist. You just don't want the white man to water down his pure genes.

How do you know the OP is white, or even a man?

budgemook

MagicMarker wrote: »

You may have missed the whole "mixed-race" part of the thread title. The OP's not talking about a farmer and a girl from a council estate ffs.

Yes I can read - thanks though. I'm just saying it's a similar point. Nobody is saying it isn't right, just that the instinctive reaction is "that will never work".

Chuck Stone

MakeEmLaugh wrote: »

How do you know the OP is white, or even a man?

I can feel it in my white man bones.

Hazys

31% of same race marriages end in divorce in the US.

41% of mixed race marriages end in divorce in the US.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/interracial-marriage-in-us_n_1281229.html

10% difference is hardly worth writing off 59% of the successful mixed race marriages over a slight statistical disadvantage.

Also, the US still has a lot of racial divide so there is probably a lot more stigma and conflict faced in mixed race marriages which same race marriages don't have to face which leads to the discrepancy. The number of mixed race marriages in the US is on the rise and the racial divide is narrowing in the US...so expect these numbers to come closer as time goes on.

MagicMarker

budgemook wrote: »

Yes I can read - thanks though. I'm just saying it's a similar point. Nobody is saying it isn't right, just that the instinctive reaction is "that will never work".

Erm, no, that's NOT the instinctive reaction, that's the whole point. Normal people don't look at an interracial couple and say "that'll never work".

budgemook

MagicMarker wrote: »

Erm, no, that's NOT the instinctive reaction, that's the whole point. Normal people don't look at an interracial couple and say "that'll never work".

It's true! surprised I typed that. I think it is normal to be a bit sceptical though.

MelissaaJ

I don't think you are racist.. It's not like you've a hatred toward a certain race your thoughts are just that it is less likely to succeed as a relationship. Thoughts and hate are different subjects.

OneArt

Nodin wrote: »

Even tea?

Only if it's black tea.

Madam_X

In fairness you're supporting your assertion - that's not the same as "Mixed race couples are just wrong, I don't like it."
Maybe there is more outside pressure (family, not just societal) on such couples in certain societies, leading to separation.

se02orqua5xz9v

MagicMarker wrote: »

You know what, I've never even thought about it. You know why? Because I don't give a shít what the likelihood is of a relationship ending based on race.

I hope you don't dislocate your elbow patting yourself on the back.

MagicMarker

MelissaaJ wrote: »

I don't think you are racist.. It's not like you've a hatred toward a certain race your thoughts are just that it is less likely to succeed as a relationship. Thoughts and hate are different subjects.

Hey OP, ya didn't need to create a new account just to agree with yourself.

Calibos

Its racist because your sceptiscism is based on nothing but the skin colour. Thats text book racism.

Had you said
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between an African and Irish person or
thats never going to work because of the differences between urban UK/US black culture and rural Irish culture or
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between that Nigerian Doctor and inner city Irish girl

Well those wouldn't be racist observations

It would be racist of me to say I would never date a black girl because she is black
It would not be racist of me to say that I would never date a black girl because they generally have big backsides and I am not a fan of big booty's

budgemook

Calibos wrote: »

Its racist because your sceptiscism is based on nothing but the skin colour. Thats text book racism.

Had you said
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between an African and Irish person or
thats never going to work because of the differences between urban UK/US black culture and rural Irish culture or
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between that Nigerian Doctor and inner city Irish girl

Well those wouldn't be racist observations

It would be racist of me to say I would never date a black girl because she is black
It would not be racist of me to say that I would never date a black girl because they generally have big backsides and I am not a fan of big booty's

:rolleyes:

Chuck Stone

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

Ugh...

se02orqua5xz9v

Calibos wrote: »

Its racist because your sceptiscism is based on nothing but the skin colour. Thats text book racism.

Had you said
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between an African and Irish person or
thats never going to work because of the differences between urban UK/US black culture and rural Irish culture or
thats never going to work because of the cultural differences between that Nigerian Doctor and inner city Irish girl

Well those wouldn't be racist observations

It would be racist of me to say I would never date a black girl because she is black
It would not be racist of me to say that I would never date a black girl because they generally have big backsides and I am not a fan of big booty's

What a pile of sanctimonious drivel. Had you read my original post, you'd see I cited an academic text, based on researched conducted by two Professors, which noted that black man/white woman relationships are twice as likely to fail as white man/white woman relationships. Not once did I use the term "skin colour". When I say 'white' or 'black', I am referring as much to the two groups' cultural differences as anything else.

_Kaiser_

Blah..Blah.. racist this, PC-dogoodery that :rolleyes:

OP I get what you mean but I think you just expressed it in a way that drew all the "STOP! RACIST!!" types like moths to a flame.

What you should have said is that the cultural and religious differences - even language and sense of humour comes into play - mean that in a large percentage of cases, a relationship may fail. That's not to say they ALL fail, or are "doomed to fail" from the start.. it's just acknowledging the statistical oddity

Unfortunately though you posted this in a country where we are so afraid of being branded racists (attitudes towards members of the travelling community notwithstanding) that we will scream outrage at even the mere hint of controversy, rather than stopping to logically consider the point.

It's also how there are individuals (both Irish native and otherwise) who take full advantage of this situation because we're so paralysed by this fear to object - which then of course merely reinforces the negative stereotypes anyway

But no doubt I'm a "racist" too now, so see you at the next reunion :rolleyes:

GoldenLight

MakeEmLaugh wrote: »

Against who? The OP never said what background they were from.

Making an assumption and generalisation based on a persons race (any race) is actually racist, in fact it would be the corner stone of the definition of being a racist. So yes the OP is about racism.

Is the OP being racist, I'm not sure, I would alot more details to make my mind up about that, is he/she making a statement or a genalisation about different races not being compatible or different community/national traditions not being compatible. Either way I would disagree with the OP, but I don't know the facts to say wether he/she is rascist.

coonecb1

So according to most of the PC brigade on here, the original post is racist for citing a scientific study (the merits of which can be debated, but it's still a study).

The OP then states their own opinion, and gets labelled racist. It's not racist, it's a subjective opinion with a little bit of substance behind it.

It seems to be way too easy to get called a racist nowadays. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? It's not like the OP was insulting all black people or inciting a mob to go around beating up black people!

Scioch

MakeEmLaugh wrote: »

Against who? The OP never said what background they were from.

Everybody.