So,it's half four in the morning...

So I'm still very much awake. And listening to Beethoven.

Leaving it all in the past eh? Eh? Eh? God I'm bored.

Finally tired enough to sleep, and a fúcking flock of birds shows up to sing me into depression.

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Leaving it all in the past eh? Eh? Eh? God I'm bored.

Leaving shít in the past never works. Everyone will always be haunted by mistakes they've made, wrong paths they've chosen, people who've fúcked them over, people they've fúcked over etc.

It's not a question of getting over it, because that's impossible, regardless of how tempting it is to delude yourself otherwise. It's more a case of learning to live with the shít you can never bury. Learning how to recognise it, deal with it and not let it affect your day-to-day life even if it's always lingering.

I know there's shít in my life I'll never make peace with. I'll always have baggage. Fortunately, once I stopped trying to burn it, I was able to focus on learning to carry it better. I'm not even close to carrying it properly yet. But I'm getting there.

*This public service announcement was brought to you by self pity and a few mugs of port. That's right, fúcking PORT! Clearly my inner self is a sixty year old upper-class twit whose hatred of the universe and lack of faith in humanity is merely the product of too much free time and extreme bitterness about the lack of availability of sherry.*

I'm not even tired yet...

One of the worst things about being up this hour is hearing other people's nightmares. Some low-pitched wailing just scared the **** out of me.

Unfortunately I have been lurking here for quite some time. Have a habit of waking up around now and not getting back to sleep. Lalalala. Think I will go and laugh at prison posts. That might do the trick.