Calling adult women 'girls'

lazygal · 15-04-2012 10:46PM #1

Does this annoy anyone else? I was at an antenatal class recently and the midwife and nurse leading the class kept referring to us as 'girls'. As in 'Remember girls, this is a girls only class', "Girls, next week we're going to be doing this topic', 'Now girls, its really important to do this'. It kind of grates on me when adult women are called girls, I don't know why though. I detest the phrase 'Girls' Night Out' and I don't like when people say 'I had a great chat with the girls'. Is this really super pedantic of me or does it bother others?

barleybooley · 15-04-2012 10:49PM

But...your user name? Doesn't annoy me really, it bothers me way more when people call a group 'lads' regardless of gender.

themadchef · 15-04-2012 10:50PM

Your user name is lazygal? ...

No it doesnt bother me at all. I wish i could stay a girl forever.

When i get called a granny, then ima gonna have issues.... lots and lots of issues...

Ickle Magoo · 15-04-2012 10:51PM

It depends on the context as to whether it grates with me or not...when used to infer I'm somehow young and naive compared with someone else then it's annoying, if they mean it as a term of endearment then it doesn't really bother me.

I got called "the lady" the other day and that made me feel really old!

15-04-2012 10:52PM

Nope, doesn't bother me in the slighest. My friends are the girls and always will be. My mam's friends are the girls and I can't imagine that ever changing either. I also call everyone lads, as in "right lads, where we off to".

jill_valentine · 15-04-2012 10:53PM

My Granny was giving out about this practice the other day, because in her day it was considered insulting, a way to diminish the woman in question.

Nowadays, I actually think the reason it's become so common is actually an attempt to flatter by implying youth.

Das Kitty · 15-04-2012 10:53PM

I can't say it bothers me. I use girls/boys/ladies/lads informally.

Formally I'd always go with woman. I describe myself as a woman always though, but I know others who feel uncomfortable with 'woman' as it makes them feel old.

lazygal · 15-04-2012 10:53PM

I get it about my username:D-TBH I picked it when I registered and would love to change it as it annoys me now, but I haven't bothered doing so. Maybe I will now, if I figure out how to do it!

krudler · 15-04-2012 10:54PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnDH-RXCptY

Giselle · 15-04-2012 10:57PM

I'm short and I'm often described as 'the little girl'. I find it very annoying, I might be small, but I'm NOT a little girl.

sam34 · 15-04-2012 10:57PM

it drives me mad in a work setting. there is one man at work that I encounter occasionally (thankfully not more than that) but he always makes remarks such as "you're a good girl" or "will you do that now like a good girl". it's patronising and almost certainly an attempt to make me feel inferior (it's since I whipped his ass at a tribunal shortly after we first met!)

I am relatively young to be in the job I am in but I am at the top of my game, got there through dedication and hard work and it frustrates me that some people can be so condescending. I know that a similarly aged male in my position would not be referred to as "boy" or "lad".

Bambii_ · 15-04-2012 10:59PM

lazygal wrote: »

I get it about my username:D-TBH I picked it when I registered and would love to change it as it annoys me now, but I haven't bothered doing so. Maybe I will now, if I figure out how to do it!

You can change your username? O: I had no idea about this... Fill me in when you find out how please (:

15-04-2012 11:03PM

I often do it myself but certainly not as a put down. I remember a friend once said to me "I'm a woman, not a girl" but that was the only time I had heard anything about it.

Natasha_95 wrote: »

You can change your username? O: I had no idea about this... Fill me in when you find out how please (:

You need to subscribe to boards then post a name change request.

Posy · 16-04-2012 12:17AM

I think it's much better than 'women' but I think 'ladies' can be good too if it's a formal setting.
If my night class teacher said "Now, women, we'll be having an exam next week etc.." I'd find it really weird! :eek:

Babybuff · 16-04-2012 12:38AM

The girls, a great bunch of lads.

I call my dog a good girl a lot but that's about it.

Karsini wrote: »

I remember a friend once said to me "I'm a woman, not a girl" but that was the only time I had heard anything about it.

I said this to someone before and I think I just confused her.

Neyite · 16-04-2012 12:40AM

I cant say it bothers me much, except in a work setting. Like others, I'm petite, and the "good girl" comments bug me. There is also a woman I work with who constantly refers to "the girls" that are her group of similar age of friends - she is pushing 60 and it just sounds really odd to her her say it. If they are not women yet, when are they?

I dont think using the term "woman" is disrespectful- not for me anyway. Its what I am. Its like when people can use the word "vagina" and use stupid euphenisims for *down there* because the correct anatomical term is "too rude" :rolleyes:

Morag · 16-04-2012 01:25AM

themadchef wrote: »

No it doesnt bother me at all. I wish i could stay a girl forever.

Why?

_petulia_ · 16-04-2012 01:33AM

lazygal wrote: »

Does this annoy anyone else? I was at an antenatal class recently and the midwife and nurse leading the class kept referring to us as 'girls'. As in 'Remember girls, this is a girls only class', "Girls, next week we're going to be doing this topic', 'Now girls, its really important to do this'. It kind of grates on me when adult women are called girls, I don't know why though. I detest the phrase 'Girls' Night Out' and I don't like when people say 'I had a great chat with the girls'. Is this really super pedantic of me or does it bother others?

Being honest, I've heard it before and while it does cross my mind - hey I'm twenty-six, hardly a girl anymore - I don't really pay too much attention to it. It is annoying to me but only mildly.

empacher · 16-04-2012 01:44AM

From a male point of view I hate it. nothing worse then when I'm working (bartender) and theres a high pitch 'Hey Guuurrrlllss Gurrrls GALZ shots shots. GALZ money out'' Wrecks my head, not as much as ''SAARRRYY SARRRYY''

Reason why people call Women Girls is they do it themselves making it acceptable.

x Purple Pawprints x · 16-04-2012 02:42AM

I can't say that bothers me at all tbh. Neither does calling a group of people 'lads'. I get called girl a lot because of my height, it used to bother me but not anymore. Can't see the harm in it now.

katisha · 16-04-2012 09:07AM

I love the term 'girls', its just really friendly! And I love it when a woman in a sho says will you serve that girl please - I'm 37!:D

Tipsygypsy · 16-04-2012 09:13AM

'good girl/girleen' - its very patronising, I used to hear it a lot working in a bar. Mostly from older male customers. I take an immediate dislike to anyone who says it to me. I dont so much mind women calling their friends 'the girls', but I prefer 'ladies' and would use that more often.

Some people are comparing to the word 'lads', and I dont think the two are the same at all. 'Girl' to me refers to pre-teen, like 'boy'. I wonder how the 'lads' would feel to be refered to as 'boys'?

Good Boy.

Handsome Bob · 16-04-2012 09:28AM

I'm awfully mindful of this in work, it's either "that lady" or "that woman" if I don't know their name. There's something awfully patronising about calling a 38 year old woman a girl I think.

g'em · 16-04-2012 09:40AM

Being called a 'good girl' is infinitely more patronising than being called a girl. I have no issue with being called a girl in the context of 'going out with the girls' having girlfriends, meeting the girls for a natter etc.

If someone in work referred to me as a girl it would be inappropriate. When my friends (male or female) refer to me as a girl it doesn't give me cause for consternation, it's a casual term of reference.

It's very much a context dependent label tbh.

16-04-2012 09:43AM

g'em wrote: »

Being called a 'good girl' is infinitely more patronising than being called a girl. I have no issue with being called a girl in the context of 'going out with the girls' having girlfriends, meeting the girls for a natter etc.

Absolutely. I wouldn't like to be called a good little woman either though, or a "little lady" so it's not the word "girl" that's offensive.

noddyone2 · 16-04-2012 09:49AM

From a male point of view, it's annoying - just the same as 'lads'. Looks as if they haven't matured. As for that Boots ad - 'here come the girls' - yuck. Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

16-04-2012 09:50AM

noddyone2 wrote: »

From a male point of view, it's annoying - just the same as 'lads'. Looks as if they haven't matured. As for that Boots ad - 'here come the girls' - yuck. Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

Chicks is hardly the same as girls though?

g'em · 16-04-2012 09:52AM

noddyone2 wrote: »

Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

I am extremely proud to be a woman, and I don't feel the need to prove my womanliness to anyone else. I feel that I fulfil my own 'ideals' as a woman pretty well tbh. If they refer to me as a girl then frankly they are the ones with perception difficulties. It's much more reflective of their thinking than mine.

biko · 16-04-2012 09:56AM

I think women use "girls" to flatter other women, consciously or subconsciously.
It's fine imo when grannys do it (it's a nice gesture then) but when 25+ women do it I just think it sounds wrong.
Oh and btw - stop calling us guys "boys", we're grown men.

Dolbert · 16-04-2012 09:59AM

What I really don't get is when women hate being referred to as just that, women. If you're over 18 you're a woman FFS, it's not an insult. One of my previous female bosses was only about three years older than me, and used to say 'good girl' to me all the time. Made me cringe!

16-04-2012 12:14PM

For me it's very context-dependent, but in certain contexts, I do hate it. I've been thinking, trying to pinpoint the situations where I find it uncomfortable/offensive, and the closest I can get is:

- When I'm being addressed as girl - e.g. "Hi girls", "What are we drinking tonight girls?". I actually think it's the 'girly' delivery of this that irks me.
- When women are way too old to be called a girl and are flattering themselves, e.g. when my mother goes golfing with her friends who are 60-80 she says "I'm just going golfing with the girls".
- And possibly the worst one, ANY use of the term "the girlies" e.g "me and the girlies ended up in this bar"

It's totally fine though when it's just being used to refer to my gender, which would usually be preceded by a definite article, like "are you the girl who left her purse in the changing room?"

Pretty sure I'm overthinking it though...

Calling adult women 'girls'

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