Calling adult women 'girls'

lazygal

Does this annoy anyone else? I was at an antenatal class recently and the midwife and nurse leading the class kept referring to us as 'girls'. As in 'Remember girls, this is a girls only class', "Girls, next week we're going to be doing this topic', 'Now girls, its really important to do this'. It kind of grates on me when adult women are called girls, I don't know why though. I detest the phrase 'Girls' Night Out' and I don't like when people say 'I had a great chat with the girls'. Is this really super pedantic of me or does it bother others?

barleybooley

But...your user name? Doesn't annoy me really, it bothers me way more when people call a group 'lads' regardless of gender.

themadchef

Your user name is lazygal? ...


No it doesnt bother me at all. I wish i could stay a girl forever.

When i get called a granny, then ima gonna have issues.... lots and lots of issues...

Ickle Magoo

It depends on the context as to whether it grates with me or not...when used to infer I'm somehow young and naive compared with someone else then it's annoying, if they mean it as a term of endearment then it doesn't really bother me.

I got called "the lady" the other day and that made me feel really old!

Nope, doesn't bother me in the slighest. My friends are the girls and always will be. My mam's friends are the girls and I can't imagine that ever changing either. I also call everyone lads, as in "right lads, where we off to".

jill_valentine

My Granny was giving out about this practice the other day, because in her day it was considered insulting, a way to diminish the woman in question.

Nowadays, I actually think the reason it's become so common is actually an attempt to flatter by implying youth.

Das Kitty

I can't say it bothers me. I use girls/boys/ladies/lads informally.

Formally I'd always go with woman. I describe myself as a woman always though, but I know others who feel uncomfortable with 'woman' as it makes them feel old.

lazygal

I get it about my username:D-TBH I picked it when I registered and would love to change it as it annoys me now, but I haven't bothered doing so. Maybe I will now, if I figure out how to do it!

krudler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnDH-RXCptY

Giselle

I'm short and I'm often described as 'the little girl'. I find it very annoying, I might be small, but I'm NOT a little girl.

sam34

it drives me mad in a work setting. there is one man at work that I encounter occasionally (thankfully not more than that) but he always makes remarks such as "you're a good girl" or "will you do that now like a good girl". it's patronising and almost certainly an attempt to make me feel inferior (it's since I whipped his ass at a tribunal shortly after we first met!)

I am relatively young to be in the job I am in but I am at the top of my game, got there through dedication and hard work and it frustrates me that some people can be so condescending. I know that a similarly aged male in my position would not be referred to as "boy" or "lad".

Bambii_

lazygal wrote: »

I get it about my username:D-TBH I picked it when I registered and would love to change it as it annoys me now, but I haven't bothered doing so. Maybe I will now, if I figure out how to do it!

You can change your username? O: I had no idea about this... Fill me in when you find out how please (:

Natasha_95

I often do it myself but certainly not as a put down. I remember a friend once said to me "I'm a woman, not a girl" but that was the only time I had heard anything about it.

Natasha_95 wrote: »

You can change your username? O: I had no idea about this... Fill me in when you find out how please (:

You need to subscribe to boards then post a name change request.

Posy

I think it's much better than 'women' but I think 'ladies' can be good too if it's a formal setting.
If my night class teacher said "Now, women, we'll be having an exam next week etc.." I'd find it really weird! :eek:

Babybuff

The girls, a great bunch of lads.

I call my dog a good girl a lot but that's about it.

Karsini wrote: »

I remember a friend once said to me "I'm a woman, not a girl" but that was the only time I had heard anything about it.

I said this to someone before and I think I just confused her.

Neyite

I cant say it bothers me much, except in a work setting. Like others, I'm petite, and the "good girl" comments bug me. There is also a woman I work with who constantly refers to "the girls" that are her group of similar age of friends - she is pushing 60 and it just sounds really odd to her her say it. If they are not women yet, when are they?

I dont think using the term "woman" is disrespectful- not for me anyway. Its what I am. Its like when people can use the word "vagina" and use stupid euphenisims for *down there* because the correct anatomical term is "too rude" :rolleyes:

Morag

themadchef wrote: »

No it doesnt bother me at all. I wish i could stay a girl forever.

Why?

_petulia_

lazygal wrote: »

Does this annoy anyone else? I was at an antenatal class recently and the midwife and nurse leading the class kept referring to us as 'girls'. As in 'Remember girls, this is a girls only class', "Girls, next week we're going to be doing this topic', 'Now girls, its really important to do this'. It kind of grates on me when adult women are called girls, I don't know why though. I detest the phrase 'Girls' Night Out' and I don't like when people say 'I had a great chat with the girls'. Is this really super pedantic of me or does it bother others?

Being honest, I've heard it before and while it does cross my mind - hey I'm twenty-six, hardly a girl anymore - I don't really pay too much attention to it. It is annoying to me but only mildly.

empacher

From a male point of view I hate it. nothing worse then when I'm working (bartender) and theres a high pitch 'Hey Guuurrrlllss Gurrrls GALZ shots shots. GALZ money out'' Wrecks my head, not as much as ''SAARRRYY SARRRYY''

Reason why people call Women Girls is they do it themselves making it acceptable.

x Purple Pawprints x

I can't say that bothers me at all tbh. Neither does calling a group of people 'lads'. I get called girl a lot because of my height, it used to bother me but not anymore. Can't see the harm in it now.

katisha

I love the term 'girls', its just really friendly! And I love it when a woman in a sho says will you serve that girl please - I'm 37!:D

Tipsygypsy

'good girl/girleen' - its very patronising, I used to hear it a lot working in a bar. Mostly from older male customers. I take an immediate dislike to anyone who says it to me. I dont so much mind women calling their friends 'the girls', but I prefer 'ladies' and would use that more often.

Some people are comparing to the word 'lads', and I dont think the two are the same at all. 'Girl' to me refers to pre-teen, like 'boy'. I wonder how the 'lads' would feel to be refered to as 'boys'?

Good Boy.

Handsome Bob

I'm awfully mindful of this in work, it's either "that lady" or "that woman" if I don't know their name. There's something awfully patronising about calling a 38 year old woman a girl I think.

g'em

Being called a 'good girl' is infinitely more patronising than being called a girl. I have no issue with being called a girl in the context of 'going out with the girls' having girlfriends, meeting the girls for a natter etc.

If someone in work referred to me as a girl it would be inappropriate. When my friends (male or female) refer to me as a girl it doesn't give me cause for consternation, it's a casual term of reference.

It's very much a context dependent label tbh.

g'em

g'em wrote: »

Being called a 'good girl' is infinitely more patronising than being called a girl. I have no issue with being called a girl in the context of 'going out with the girls' having girlfriends, meeting the girls for a natter etc.

Absolutely. I wouldn't like to be called a good little woman either though, or a "little lady" so it's not the word "girl" that's offensive.

noddyone2

From a male point of view, it's annoying - just the same as 'lads'. Looks as if they haven't matured. As for that Boots ad - 'here come the girls' - yuck. Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

noddyone2

noddyone2 wrote: »

From a male point of view, it's annoying - just the same as 'lads'. Looks as if they haven't matured. As for that Boots ad - 'here come the girls' - yuck. Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

Chicks is hardly the same as girls though?

g'em

noddyone2 wrote: »

Women should be proud to be women, not be willing to be thought of as 'girls' or 'chicks' - that's another one I've heard in use lately.

I am extremely proud to be a woman, and I don't feel the need to prove my womanliness to anyone else. I feel that I fulfil my own 'ideals' as a woman pretty well tbh. If they refer to me as a girl then frankly they are the ones with perception difficulties. It's much more reflective of their thinking than mine.

biko

I think women use "girls" to flatter other women, consciously or subconsciously.
It's fine imo when grannys do it (it's a nice gesture then) but when 25+ women do it I just think it sounds wrong.
Oh and btw - stop calling us guys "boys", we're grown men.

Dolbert

What I really don't get is when women hate being referred to as just that, women. If you're over 18 you're a woman FFS, it's not an insult. One of my previous female bosses was only about three years older than me, and used to say 'good girl' to me all the time. Made me cringe!

For me it's very context-dependent, but in certain contexts, I do hate it. I've been thinking, trying to pinpoint the situations where I find it uncomfortable/offensive, and the closest I can get is:

- When I'm being addressed as girl - e.g. "Hi girls", "What are we drinking tonight girls?". I actually think it's the 'girly' delivery of this that irks me.
- When women are way too old to be called a girl and are flattering themselves, e.g. when my mother goes golfing with her friends who are 60-80 she says "I'm just going golfing with the girls".
- And possibly the worst one, ANY use of the term "the girlies" e.g "me and the girlies ended up in this bar"

It's totally fine though when it's just being used to refer to my gender, which would usually be preceded by a definite article, like "are you the girl who left her purse in the changing room?"

Pretty sure I'm overthinking it though...

careymary

I dont mind being called a girl, a woman or a lady, none of those terms bother me, yet the delivery of each can be twisted to becoming a veiled insult, and well I dont like being insulted, who does!
A woman I work with is very obsessed with this topic, she is a staunch feminist and finds any use of either girl or lady to be a personal insult, at first I tried to respect that, however she is actually a bit of a bully and always goes off on a long condescending rant to anyone who uses those terms and will not listen to another persons point of view so now I use lady alot around her when she starts to rant I have the same reply - I always say I amnt using the word as an insult, I am using it with its modern day meaning, its my choice to do that and while it isnt intended it can be her choice to be offended. It drives her mad that someone doesnt automatically take her sh*t!

IMO As someone said "There is no bad language just bad use of language"!

krudler

Its all context I guess, it wouldnt overly bug me being referred to as "the boy" as so many girls/women/girlies/chicks/ladies (I'm covering my bases here) do on here when refering to their boyfriend (or should that be manfriend?) but it'd annoy me to be refered to "that boy" or "good boy" which is just patronising. people do overthink this kind of thing though, there's bigger things to be worked up over in life. I say I'm going out with the lads or the boys, if i said I was meeting "the men" for drinks people would have different ideas about where my evening was going :pac:

Morag

I hate to be called a girl, I am a mature adult.
I dislike to be called a lady as I will not restrict my behavior to the archaic ideas of what and is not lady like.

I really don't understand why grown women want to consider themselves girls.

cch

Neyite wrote: »

Its like when people can use the word "vagina" and use stupid euphenisims for *down there* because the correct anatomical term is "too rude" :rolleyes:

(I'm presuming you meant "can't use")
This always puzzled me because surely a vagina is an internal organ? And then there's no suitable anatomical term I can think of for all of the general external area *down there* that isn't either mad vulgar, sickeningly twee or overly medical/latin

lazygal

cch wrote: »

(I'm presuming you meant "can't use")
This always puzzled me because surely a vagina is an internal organ? And then there's no suitable anatomical term I can think of for all of the general external area *down there* that isn't either mad vulgar, sickeningly twee or overly medical/latin

I was always told the proper terms for my body parts as a child, so always called it the vulva. I was given out to in primary school by a teacher for using 'rude words' when I referred to a penis as, well, a penis.

I find it quite odd how easily some people get offended by words. Honestly, it baffles me! I think people, in general, should lighten up. Life's too short to be worrying about things like this.

Daftendirekt

I'm not even female and I find it a bit odd. I always find myself mentally flipping the genders around and more often than not you definitely wouldn't use 'boy' where people seem happy to use 'girl'.

It's one thing to use it to casually refer to your female friends, but it's a whole other thing in the workplace or when speaking about grown women you don't know.

I also disagree that 'girls' is just a female equivalent of 'lads', in some contexts anyway. If I heard myself being referred to as a lad, I probably wouldn't bat an eyelid, whereas if I heard someone casually call me a boy (especially in work!) I'd be a bit more 'Eh? What do you mean "boy"?'

'Lad' just doesn't have the same implication of childishness. Not to me anyway, though others might disagree.

LeeHoffmann

When I'm being addressed as girl - e.g. "Hi girls", "What are we drinking tonight girls?". I actually think it's the 'girly' delivery of this that irks me.
- When women are way too old to be called a girl and are flattering themselves, e.g. when my mother goes golfing with her friends who are 60-80 she says "I'm just going golfing with the girls".
- And possibly the worst one, ANY use of the term "the girlies" e.g "me and the girlies ended up in this bar"

It's totally fine though when it's just being used to refer to my gender, which would usually be preceded by a definite article, like "are you the girl who left her purse in the changing room?"

The opposite for me. "The girls" (i.e. for a group of female friends) wouldn´t bother me as it´s just a term of endearment but if anybody referred to me as a girl, I wouldn´t like it. A girl is a child. A boy is a child. Men and women are adults. Simples

IrishEyes19

It actually annoys me more that people get annoyed over the silliest of things like this. I always say, meeting up with the girls or often get called "girl" and Im in my twenties.

Duggys Housemate

I agree it is context dependent. A woman calling her friends the girls, is not being insulting. A guy talking about the girls - a bit less obvious, see below. Being called a girl, a little girl etc. Almost certainly demeaning.

As a guy I might call a group of younger women girls, in reference, but I don't call a woman a girl to her face. I call her by her name.

however, lets respect Cork and her culture too. I remember an American feminist academic coming to Cork and complaining that a middle aged man had called her - a middle aged woman - girl. She didn't notice that he probably called the next customer boy, middled aged or older.

Duggys Housemate

I should say here that younger men are often referred to as boys. Sometimes older men, too. As in boys night out. That the context I use it, and I use it for women too - girls night out.

I don't call a adult man, individually, a boy.

Big Nasty

I know men in their 40's who I would consider to be 'lads', similarly I know lads in their 30's who I would consider 'men'. Same goes for women too - I think it just depends on the individual.

Boskowski

Tricky one down here in Waterford where everyone seems to be either a boy or a girl. Like 'well boy'.
And it's nothing to do with age either I heard twenty year olds saying it to 50 year olds.

I do feel a little weird about it in a work environment I have to admit. I can't sit down at a table with women and say 'hello girls' it sounds just not right, unprofessional. I am not so sure about 'ladies' either because I know some women hate it since they feel there is an age implication. Even moreso than with the term 'girls'.
Hello women is def'ny a no no as it sounds outright weird to me.
I really don't know what to call them tbh, most of the time I go for ladies or make no reference at all.

What do ye feel is appropriate considering you know these people pretty well but you're not really friends either?

evilmonkee

Honestly, it really annoys me.

I am not a girl, I am a woman, and I expect to be spoken to like one.

You wouldn't walk up to a group of teenagers and call them toddlers, don't call me a girl.

jill_valentine

You might call them kids though...

evilmonkee

jill_valentine wrote: »

You might call them kids though...

I wouldn't, I'd refer to them as a teen or young adult, but in any case,

Calling a teenager a child is very different than calling a fully grown adult a girl. I'd prefer to be called a teenager than a girl.

confusticated

For people who don't like the term girls, what do you say if you're going out with your friends? I suppose you could say exactly that, come to think of it, I'd always say that I'm meeting the girls though. My mam does too, most of her good friends are 50ish but they know each other since they were quite young - I think it's lovely, it's kinda like they'll always be the girls to each other because that's what they were when they first met.

Kinda have to be okay with it too, because I'm from Cork.:p

Hate "girlies" though, does my head in, seems to be obligatory to say it in a high-pitched overexcited tone.

Nyan Cat

Girls is grand. But get away from me with 'girlos'!

evilmonkee

confusticated wrote: »

For people who don't like the term girls, what do you say if you're going out with your friends? I suppose you could say exactly that, come to think of it,

Yup, thats exactly what I say! However, I do usually go out with a mixed group.
But when I'm speaking to a group of people of the same gender, I don't refer to their sex at all.
"Hi everyone", "good morning / day" etc.

Dudess

Doesn't bother me, I don't notice it. Referring to men in their 30s as boys (apart from humorously) I do find strange though - seems like a new turn of phrase...