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Can't get a girlfriend

245

Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 Motorist


    Beggars can't be choosers OP. If you're hideous, you probably want to lower your standards a bit. If you're not hideous you should drink more and talk less.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭✭✭ kingofthenerds


    Show me your wallet.... then we can talk ;)

    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    Just go upta a girl on the dance floor and start grinding your crotch against her bum.

    No girl can ever resist that :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 850 0mega


    Maybe you need better chat-up lines?

    "Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf?" works a charm.

    Of course, if she says no, then you can always use the: "Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!" knockout.


  • Registered Users Posts: 31,860 Sharpshooter


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    You're in the wrong bars.:pac:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)

    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 261 ✭✭ GHOST MGG2


    classy^..until her boyfriend pounds you into the dancefloor with his 42lb hands:-p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 512 GaryIrv93


    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,766 ✭✭✭ RossieMan


    Post your facebook here so people can see for themselves what a fine looki.....

    no i can't do it.

    Teenage discos aren't really the place to be picking up girlfriends though, in all fairness.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    GaryIrv93 wrote: »
    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:

    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭✭✭ kingofthenerds


    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,838 Nulty


    84-5-03-1f02-homer-goes-to-college6.jpg

    Weird Science


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 Deus Ex Machina


    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid, but if you keep looking you'll find one. Best advice is to act like you're a prospective buyer rather than a seller regardless of how hard up you are.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid

    Oh you! :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,959 ✭✭✭✭ Gummy Panda


    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do

    I could sell you a Thai bride for €50.

    Her penis is not too beaucoup


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭✭✭ kingofthenerds


    Oh you! :p

    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,436 ✭✭✭✭ RobbingBandit


    Hire a hooker in the morning for some afternoon delight,get them to come with you to a bar before they get paid, making them slap the face off you in the bar. Then get picked up by the sympathetic girl in the bar.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 512 GaryIrv93


    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony

    There there,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,738 ✭✭✭✭ corktina


    stop trying so hard...if you just want someone to shift you, pay a whore.

    Women are threatened by guys trying to seduce them, talk to them like a friend, be interested in them and listen to what they say. Just be nice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man

    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,959 ✭✭✭✭ Gummy Panda


    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man

    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....

    It's probably something nerdy


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭✭✭ kingofthenerds


    set up a club for guys who cant get chicks. evry night decide which one in the club is going to play alpha male and treat that one as though he is a legend. the chicks will think he is and he is bound to score and the chicks will be non the wiser to the conspiracy


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭✭✭ kingofthenerds


    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....

    its the clapping sound thats made when two pelvises beat off each other rapidly


  • Registered Users Posts: 850 0mega


    corktina wrote: »
    stop trying so hard...if you just want someone to shift you, pay a whore.

    Women are threatened by guys trying to seduce them, talk to them like a friend, be interested in them and listen to what they say. Just be nice.

    The OP said he chats to them, sounds alright to me. So what if he wants the shift? Or do you think when a guy talks to a girl on a night out he actually wants a conversation?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    its the clapping sound thats made when two pelvises beat off each other rapidly

    ouch.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 15,863 paddy147


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.


    Get a "fleshlight" instead.

    All of the fun of a woman,but without the talk back or need to get a taxi for her to leave.

    And you wont miss any action for a week or so of each month too.:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,591 ✭✭✭ Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Just go upta a girl on the dance floor and start grinding your crotch against her bum.

    No girl can ever resist that :cool:

    Can iv your number?! (",)


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,766 ✭✭✭ RossieMan


    Bitches are stupid. its a common fact.

    if you poke them in their left eye(make sure its the left one or you're in trouble) they will instantly become attracted to you.


    60% of the time, it works every time!


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,029 ✭✭✭ Hande hoche!


    Cold showers all round.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭ Jen Pigs Fly


    Girls who are insecure go for the 'alpha male type'

    I personally prefer the more submissive 'wingman' they're easier to manipulate :pac:


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