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Can't get a girlfriend

245

Comments

  • #32
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Beggars can't be choosers OP. If you're hideous, you probably want to lower your standards a bit. If you're not hideous you should drink more and talk less.


  • #33
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Show me your wallet.... then we can talk ;)

    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)


  • #34
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Just go upta a girl on the dance floor and start grinding your crotch against her bum.

    No girl can ever resist that :cool:


  • #35
    0mega
    Registered Users Posts: 850 ✭✭✭0mega


    Maybe you need better chat-up lines?

    "Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf?" works a charm.

    Of course, if she says no, then you can always use the: "Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!" knockout.


  • #36
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    You're in the wrong bars.:pac:


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  • #37
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)

    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:


  • #38
    GHOST MGG2
    Registered Users Posts: 261 ✭✭GHOST MGG2


    classy^..until her boyfriend pounds you into the dancefloor with his 42lb hands:-p


  • #39
    GaryIrv93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 512 ✭✭✭GaryIrv93


    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:


  • #40
    RossieMan
    Registered Users Posts: 6,766 ✭✭✭RossieMan


    Post your facebook here so people can see for themselves what a fine looki.....

    no i can't do it.

    Teenage discos aren't really the place to be picking up girlfriends though, in all fairness.


  • #41
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    GaryIrv93 wrote: »
    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:

    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony


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  • #42
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do


  • #43
    Nulty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    84-5-03-1f02-homer-goes-to-college6.jpg

    Weird Science


  • #44
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid, but if you keep looking you'll find one. Best advice is to act like you're a prospective buyer rather than a seller regardless of how hard up you are.


  • #45
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid

    Oh you! :p


  • #46
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,920 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do

    I could sell you a Thai bride for €50.

    Her penis is not too beaucoup


  • #47
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Oh you! :p

    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man


  • #48
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,073 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Hire a hooker in the morning for some afternoon delight,get them to come with you to a bar before they get paid, making them slap the face off you in the bar. Then get picked up by the sympathetic girl in the bar.


  • #49
    GaryIrv93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 512 ✭✭✭GaryIrv93


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony

    There there,


  • #50
    corktina
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,733 ✭✭✭✭corktina


    stop trying so hard...if you just want someone to shift you, pay a whore.

    Women are threatened by guys trying to seduce them, talk to them like a friend, be interested in them and listen to what they say. Just be nice.


  • #51
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man

    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....


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  • #52
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,920 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man

    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....

    It's probably something nerdy


  • #53
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    set up a club for guys who cant get chicks. evry night decide which one in the club is going to play alpha male and treat that one as though he is a legend. the chicks will think he is and he is bound to score and the chicks will be non the wiser to the conspiracy


  • #54
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....

    its the clapping sound thats made when two pelvises beat off each other rapidly


  • #55
    0mega
    Registered Users Posts: 850 ✭✭✭0mega


    corktina wrote: »
    stop trying so hard...if you just want someone to shift you, pay a whore.

    Women are threatened by guys trying to seduce them, talk to them like a friend, be interested in them and listen to what they say. Just be nice.

    The OP said he chats to them, sounds alright to me. So what if he wants the shift? Or do you think when a guy talks to a girl on a night out he actually wants a conversation?


  • #56
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    its the clapping sound thats made when two pelvises beat off each other rapidly

    ouch.


  • #57
    paddy147
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 15,858 ✭✭✭✭paddy147


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.


    Get a "fleshlight" instead.

    All of the fun of a woman,but without the talk back or need to get a taxi for her to leave.

    And you wont miss any action for a week or so of each month too.:D


  • #58
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,629 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Just go upta a girl on the dance floor and start grinding your crotch against her bum.

    No girl can ever resist that :cool:

    Can iv your number?! (",)


  • #59
    RossieMan
    Registered Users Posts: 6,766 ✭✭✭RossieMan


    Bitches are stupid. its a common fact.

    if you poke them in their left eye(make sure its the left one or you're in trouble) they will instantly become attracted to you.


    60% of the time, it works every time!


  • #60
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,423 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    Cold showers all round.


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  • #61
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Girls who are insecure go for the 'alpha male type'

    I personally prefer the more submissive 'wingman' they're easier to manipulate :pac:


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