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Can't get a girlfriend

  • 10-04-2012 12:35am
    #1
    Mr.Success
    Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭


    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.


«13

Comments

  • #2
    MoonDancer
    Registered Users Posts: 706 ✭✭✭MoonDancer


    Stop asking them to shift ya!
    Ask them how they're feeling, women love that!


  • #3
    ChunkyLover_53
    Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    Your choice of username is poor in this case.


  • #4
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,348 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Mr.Success wrote: »

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    Stop going to lesbian bars?


  • #5
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    If, as you say they but they "always end up with some c**t." then they are lesbians and its nothing to do with you .................or else your soooo repulsive you ve scared them gay


  • #6
    Mickey H
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    No I have not. Give me a while and I'll think of something.


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  • #7
    0mega
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭0mega


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    Start being "some c**t", they clearly prefer that.


  • #8
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Its all about confidence. That and duct tape.


  • #9
    tatumkelly
    Registered Users Posts: 713 ✭✭✭tatumkelly


    'Shift'? Emmm maybe don't ask them to shift you? :rolleyes:


  • #10
    uch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,012 ✭✭✭uch


    Stop saying Ye

    21/25



  • #11
    Leeg17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,127 ✭✭✭✭Leeg17


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    Its all about confidence. That and duct tape.

    You need the roofies before then. Amateur. :rolleyes:


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  • #12
    Local-womanizer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Ha,charming!

    Want's a GF and looks to get one by the "shift" method!


  • #13
    elvis99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 173 ✭✭elvis99


    Chloroform, bitches love chloroform


  • #14
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    join the club mate


  • #15
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    OP trying to make an epic thread.

    Disappointing.


  • #16
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    Its all about confidence. That and duct tape.
    :D
    'Get in the van.'


  • #17
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Buy one from Thailand. Just make sure she doesn't have a penis. No refunds!


  • #18
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    the female mind is bizarre. i just watched titanic in 3d and never remebered it been such a chick flick. the story is such bullsh1t, so far removed from reality, a girl falling in love would a third class passenger and abandoing a multi millionaire? what really goes on in the female mind? this is the kind of stuff they day dream about but practice different in realty. they're so full of hormones its hard to make sense of them sometimes!


  • #19
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Buy one from Thailand. Just make sure she doesn't have a penis. No refunds!

    From experience ?


  • #20
    Mr.Success
    Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭Mr.Success


    Local-womanizer wrote: »
    Ha,charming!

    Want's a GF and looks to get one by the "shift" method!

    Pot kettle black, look at your username.


  • #21
    Dan Chipowski
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,072 ✭✭✭Dan Chipowski


    Do you happen to be an ugly fu cker by any chance?


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  • #22
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    Local-womanizer wrote: »
    Ha,charming!

    Want's a GF and looks to get one by the "shift" method!

    Pot kettle black, look at your username.

    I'm not sure the whole pot/kettle analogy works here son.


  • #23
    0mega
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭0mega


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    the female mind is bizarre. i just watched titanic in 3d and never remebered it been such a chick flick. the story is such bullsh1t, so far removed from reality, a girl falling in love would a third class passenger and abandoing a multi millionaire? what really goes on in the female mind? this is the kind of stuff they day dream about but practice different in realty. they're so full of hormones its hard to make sense of them sometimes!

    She didn't love him enough to move the f*ck over and let him on the raft though.


  • #24
    Nulty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    join the club mate

    that's not going to help him get a girlfriend is it?


  • #25
    KKkitty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Act like a cnut at first and then be Mr. Nice Guy. Tell them you changed because you saw the error of your ways.


  • #26
    Local-womanizer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    Pot kettle black, look at your username.

    My kettle is silver thank you very much, Mr Success!

    And that doesn't really work, unless you are chatting about kettles...


  • #27
    rainbowdrop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,294 ✭✭✭rainbowdrop


    Maybe getting a head transplant would help?


  • #28
    GHOST MGG2
    Registered Users Posts: 261 ✭✭GHOST MGG2


    always helps if you dont have a face like a bag of hammers and a body like
    the elephant man...:eek:


  • #29
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    Nulty wrote: »
    that's not going to help him get a girlfriend is it?

    84-5-03-1f02-homer-goes-to-college6.jpg


  • #30
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Show me your wallet.... then we can talk ;)


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  • #31
    Schwiiing
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,704 ✭✭✭Schwiiing


    0mega wrote: »
    She didn't love him enough to move the f*ck over and let him on the raft though.

    it wasn't a raft it was a table.


  • #32
    Motorist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 892 ✭✭✭Motorist


    Beggars can't be choosers OP. If you're hideous, you probably want to lower your standards a bit. If you're not hideous you should drink more and talk less.


  • #33
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Show me your wallet.... then we can talk ;)

    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)


  • #34
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Just go upta a girl on the dance floor and start grinding your crotch against her bum.

    No girl can ever resist that :cool:


  • #35
    0mega
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 850 ✭✭✭0mega


    Maybe you need better chat-up lines?

    "Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf?" works a charm.

    Of course, if she says no, then you can always use the: "Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!" knockout.


  • #36
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Mr.Success wrote: »
    have any of ye any advice for me.
    i can't get women to shift me on nights out.

    i always make the effort to chat to them but they always end up with some c**t.

    You're in the wrong bars.:pac:


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  • #37
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    send me a profile pic, i live close by, i don't mind paying ;)

    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:


  • #38
    GHOST MGG2
    Registered Users Posts: 261 ✭✭GHOST MGG2


    classy^..until her boyfriend pounds you into the dancefloor with his 42lb hands:-p


  • #39
    GaryIrv93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 512 ✭✭✭GaryIrv93


    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:


  • #40
    RossieMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,766 ✭✭✭RossieMan


    Post your facebook here so people can see for themselves what a fine looki.....

    no i can't do it.

    Teenage discos aren't really the place to be picking up girlfriends though, in all fairness.


  • #41
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    GaryIrv93 wrote: »
    eHarmony exists for a reason :rolleyes:

    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony


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  • #42
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do


  • #43
    Nulty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    84-5-03-1f02-homer-goes-to-college6.jpg

    Weird Science


  • #44
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid, but if you keep looking you'll find one. Best advice is to act like you're a prospective buyer rather than a seller regardless of how hard up you are.


  • #45
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    Op, this xxxJenny wan is the kind of girl you want to avoid

    Oh you! :p


  • #46
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    You havn't been around much have you :rolleyes:

    i got a thai massage 2 weeks ago in smithfield. i paid 50 euro for a happy ending :)

    i do

    I could sell you a Thai bride for €50.

    Her penis is not too beaucoup


  • #47
    kingofthenerds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭kingofthenerds


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Oh you! :p

    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man


  • #48
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,189 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Hire a hooker in the morning for some afternoon delight,get them to come with you to a bar before they get paid, making them slap the face off you in the bar. Then get picked up by the sympathetic girl in the bar.


  • #49
    GaryIrv93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 512 ✭✭✭GaryIrv93


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    eharmony is for lonely people with no lives

    /Sobbing while logging into eHarmony

    There there,


  • #50
    corktina
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,733 ✭✭✭✭corktina


    stop trying so hard...if you just want someone to shift you, pay a whore.

    Women are threatened by guys trying to seduce them, talk to them like a friend, be interested in them and listen to what they say. Just be nice.


  • #51
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    kingofthenerds wrote: »
    jenny if you need a good tanking im your man

    Do I even want to know what 'tanking' means ....


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