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Man Rape

12346

Comments

  • #152
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    No where did I ever say rape wasn't horrendous. Everyone thinks rape is horrendous. It's like saying the sky is blue.


    I was only reading that that is the only taboo not yet crossed in video games. So yeah it is now seen as universally wrong, we have come a long way from marriage rape not been against the law and rape victims getting laughed out of police stations.


  • #153
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    44leto wrote: »
    Millicent wrote: »
    But that's all it is--an assumption. There's a wealth of material out there on involuntary sexual response. Just because it doesn't sound right to you, doesn't make it wrong.

    And even if there is a willingness on the part of men, it would be purely mechanical, an automatic response to outside stimuli. It has nothing to do with emotional or conscious willingness or consent on the part of the man.

    I don't believe it, you are also implying that a man has no control over his sexual response which is complete rubbish. Outside stimulus is important but if you are not turned on it wont happen, all you have to do "is think about the baseball".

    And this is why woman on man rape is never taken seriously.. :rolleyes:


  • #154
    Brixton Howling Pail
    Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭ Brixton Howling Pail


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    To the people saying rape is the worst thing that can happen to you;

    Don't be so ridiculous and over dramatic, I don't think ken bigley's family would agree with you. Try having your limbs slowly cut off and see if your opinion is the same.

    every experience is relative ! I think your statement is most unhelpful to those who have experience this kind of trauma.

    Midlandmiss you have my absolute sympathy .


  • #155
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    44leto wrote: »
    I don't believe it, you are also implying that a man has no control over his sexual response which is complete rubbish. Outside stimulus is important but if you are not turned on it wont happen, all you have to do "is think about the baseball".

    It is well documented that the human body will react a certain way to certain stimuli. Just because you don't believe it can happen doesn't mean it wouldn't happen to you.


  • #156
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    44leto wrote: »
    I don't believe it, you are also implying that a man has no control over his sexual response which is complete rubbish. Outside stimulus is important but if you are not turned on it wont happen, all you have to do "is think about the baseball".

    You can say you don't believe it all you like--that doesn't make you right.

    ETA: That page I linked to had info from the University of Wisconsin, quoting academic studies. Do you think you know better than they do? Serious question.


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  • #157
    I_am_LOST
    Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭I_am_LOST


    midlandsmissus wrote: »
    To be honest Micky Dolenz, and I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, it's not up to you to say to some-one if they were raped or not, especially when they may be confused themselves.

    If a woman came on here and said that she said No to her boyfriend once, but her boyfriend forced himself on her and then she was confused and she went out with him anyway, would any of us say 'that's not rape'.

    No we wouldn't and just because it's not as common the other way around, people should be mindful of everyone's feelings on here.

    I'm not picking on you, but I just think you should be more mindful of what you say.

    +10000

    I'm not trying to sound like I'm on a high horse here but I think it's pretty disgusting telling someone you don't know that they weren't raped. All your going on is a post on an online forum. One where he said she forced herself on him, he said no. She didn't respect that.

    No means no. No matter what gender is doing the sexual assault.

    I say this coming from a female who was raped by two older men when I was younger. They were strangers and it was the 'typical' assault that comes to mind (as in I didn't know the men, and they physically overpowered me). In reality, most rapes are from people you know. And just because the person was in a relationship with the girl afterwards does NOT mean it wasn't rape.


  • #158
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Deleted User wrote: »
    The worst story i heard was from a friend of mine who is a garda. He got called out to an attack. It was a stag night , all the lads decided to handcuff the drunk groom to be to some gates and leave him thinking it was funny.whilst hand cuffed 2 guys came along and had their way with him. I dont know what happened to him or how he got over that.

    Oh God, that's horrendous.


  • #159
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Millicent wrote: »
    Deleted User wrote: »
    The worst story i heard was from a friend of mine who is a garda. He got called out to an attack. It was a stag night , all the lads decided to handcuff the drunk groom to be to some gates and leave him thinking it was funny.whilst hand cuffed 2 guys came along and had their way with him. I dont know what happened to him or how he got over that.

    Oh God, that's horrendous.

    That's an urban myth.


  • #160
    Jimoslimos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,930 ✭✭✭Jimoslimos


    Men undergoing a prostate exam will often get an involuntary erection, doesn't mean they enjoy the process!


  • #161
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Brixton Howling Pail wrote: »
    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    To the people saying rape is the worst thing that can happen to you;

    Don't be so ridiculous and over dramatic, I don't think ken bigley's family would agree with you. Try having your limbs slowly cut off and see if your opinion is the same.

    every experience is relative ! I think your statement is most unhelpful to those who have experience this kind of trauma.

    Midlandmiss you have my absolute sympathy .

    I don't think regurgitating the dogma that rape is the worst thing that can happen someone is helpful to the recovery of rape victims.


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  • #162
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    I_am_LOST wrote: »
    +10000

    I'm not trying to sound like I'm on a high horse here but I think it's pretty disgusting telling someone you don't know that they weren't raped. All your going on is a post on an online forum. One where he said she forced herself on him, he said no. She didn't respect that.

    No means no. No matter what gender is doing the sexual assault.

    I say this coming from a female who was raped by two older men when I was younger. They were strangers and it was the 'typical' assault that comes to mind (as in I didn't know the men, and they physically overpowered me). In reality, most rapes are from people you know. And just because the person was in a relationship with the girl afterwards does NOT mean it wasn't rape.

    I agree. And well done on being able to share your story because it's not easy. I hope you are healing, and sending you love and peace :)


  • #163
    Sisko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭Sisko


    kjl wrote: »
    First off I am male, I was on a date once and it went really well and we ended up going back to her house afterwards. We end up kissing on the bed but because we didn't have a condom I didn't want to have sex. I said no several times, upon when she forced herself on me.

    Now of course I didn't report it, I didn't feel violated and in the end I went out with the girl for 3 years.

    .

    I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one. How did she "force you" exactly?

    And from the tone of your post I'm not so sure you really do consider it rape yourself?

    Not trying to be insensitive just a bit confused :p


  • #164
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    Saying rape is the worst thing that can happen someone is obviously not true. How can any sane person disagree with that.
    Depends, it can be, it has proven to be for some, "obviously not true" is ridiculously absolute, what I often wonder is how so many seemingly sane people see fit to deal in such absolutes.


  • #165
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    wonderfulname wrote: »
    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    Saying rape is the worst thing that can happen someone is obviously not true. How can any sane person disagree with that.
    Depends, it can be, it has proven to be for some, "obviously not true" is ridiculously absolute, what I often wonder is how so many seemingly sane people see fit to deal in such absolutes.

    The reason it's ridiculously absolute is because the statement "rape is the worst thing that can happen someone" is ridiculously absolute. No one would choose to have their eyes cut out with a knife ahead of rape. When the chips were down and the knife was about to cut into their eye everyone would opt for rape instead. And there are people who have been tortured a lot worse than that example. Imagine the trauma Ken Bigley went through. Imagine having petrol poured over you being burnt alive. Rape isn't even close.


  • #166
    cloptrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭cloptrop


    Yeah whats everyones problem with rape all of a sudden , its not like Im dousing you in petrol and chopping your head off, Im just doing something you do with your boyfriend every other night??
    Is this what you are saying post above mine?
    The reason it's ridiculously absolute is because the statement "rape is the worst thing that can happen someone" is ridiculously absolute. No one would choose to have their eyes cut out with a knife ahead of rape. When the chips were down and the knife was about to cut into their eye everyone would opt for rape instead. And there are people who have been tortured a lot worse than that example. Imagine the trauma Ken Bigley went through. Imagine having petrol poured over you being burnt alive. Rape isn't even close.


  • #167
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    cloptrop wrote: »
    Yeah whats everyones problem with rape all of a sudden , its not like Im dousing you in petrol and chopping your head off, Im just doing something you do with your boyfriend every other night??
    Is this what you are saying post above mine?
    The reason it's ridiculously absolute is because the statement "rape is the worst thing that can happen someone" is ridiculously absolute. No one would choose to have their eyes cut out with a knife ahead of rape. When the chips were down and the knife was about to cut into their eye everyone would opt for rape instead. And there are people who have been tortured a lot worse than that example. Imagine the trauma Ken Bigley went through. Imagine having petrol poured over you being burnt alive. Rape isn't even close.

    Did I ever say rape is no big deal or similar? No I didn't.

    All I'm saying is the statement that it's "the worst thing that can happen someone" is preposterous..


  • #168
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Well I got told 'do what we say or we'll cut your ****ing head off' when it happened to me, not by my father. So I only told when someone found out. Stuff happens :3


  • #169
    Brixton Howling Pail
    Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭ Brixton Howling Pail


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    Brixton Howling Pail wrote: »
    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    To the people saying rape is the worst thing that can happen to you;

    Don't be so ridiculous and over dramatic, I don't think ken bigley's family would agree with you. Try having your limbs slowly cut off and see if your opinion is the same.

    every experience is relative ! I think your statement is most unhelpful to those who have experience this kind of trauma.

    Midlandmiss you have my absolute sympathy .

    I don't think regurgitating the dogma that rape is the worst thing that can happen someone is helpful to the recovery of rape victims.


    Its not a dogma ? Every experience is relative to that person . Some one may be beaten to an inch of their life and be relatively unscathed another person can experience a similiar situation and have their life ruined by it .

    Their experience is unique and their response is equally valid . To tell someone how they should react or interpret their experience is equally unhelpful .


  • #170
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Well I got told 'do what we say or we'll cut your ****ing head off' when it happened to me, not by my father. So I only told when someone found out. Stuff happens :3

    Cloud you are male aren't you? Ah Cloud I didn't know that about you, sorry :(. And you didn't know it about me.

    The reason me and Cloud know each other is we are both regular posters on the Long term anxious/depressed thread on the Long term illness forum, if anyone has any doubts abut the long term efffects of sexual abuse/rape. :mad:


  • #171
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    The reason it's ridiculously absolute is because the statement "rape is the worst thing that can happen someone" is ridiculously absolute. No one would choose to have their eyes cut out with a knife ahead of rape. When the chips were down and the knife was about to cut into their eye everyone would opt for rape instead. And there are people who have been tortured a lot worse than that example. Imagine the trauma Ken Bigley went through. Imagine having petrol poured over you being burnt alive. Rape isn't even close.

    Well all I can say is you're a very lucky person to understand so little about pain and trauma.

    I'd rather not answer the specifics of your post, I've a funny feeling you wouldn't believe me...


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  • #172
    jeep37
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭jeep37


    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.


  • #173
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    jeep37 wrote: »
    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.

    I have no words.


  • #174
    Brixton Howling Pail
    Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭ Brixton Howling Pail


    jeep37 wrote: »
    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.

    Are you for real ??? Some thoughts are really best left in your head


  • #175
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    jeep37 wrote: »
    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.

    Old, but relevant...


  • #176
    jeep37
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭jeep37


    Brixton Howling Pail wrote: »
    Are you for real ??? Some thoughts are really best left in your head

    I'm sorry if something I said was insensitive in any way. It's what I felt was true at the time I wrote it. Would you mind informing me how you believe I am wrong?


  • #177
    Sisko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭Sisko


    jeep37....


    for fucks sake....


  • #178
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    jeep37 wrote: »
    I'm sorry if something I said was insensitive in any way. It's what I felt was true at the time I wrote it. Would you mind informing me how you believe I am wrong?

    The implication that women only get all pissy about rape because it means they won't find a husband, for a start.


  • #179
    Brixton Howling Pail
    Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭ Brixton Howling Pail


    jeep37 wrote: »
    Brixton Howling Pail wrote: »
    Are you for real ??? Some thoughts are really best left in your head

    I'm sorry if something I said was insensitive in any way. It's what I felt was true at the time I wrote it. Would you mind informing me how you believe I am wrong?

    wouldnt no where to start tbh but if your asking me if you need help in some way in regards to ur 'opinion' i would say an emphactic yes!


  • #180
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    jeep37 wrote: »
    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.


    Banned

    Don't feed the trolls.


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  • #181
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Brixton Howling Pail wrote: »
    jeep37 wrote: »
    The whole 'rape is worse than murder' idea can be quite puzzling indeed. It's important to take into consideration that only recently in history has it become the norm for women not to retain their chastity until marriage. Before, (and still currently in some Asian and middle-eastern cultures) men refused to marry women who weren't virgins. So being raped would essentially be denying a woman financial support and the chance to have a family. In this context you can certainly see how getting raped might be 'worse than murder' for a woman. As for it being so for first world women, many first world women are mentally unstable and develop severe depression for no reason at all. So I think it's more to do with how overly sensitive they are in the first place.

    Are you for real ??? Some thoughts are really best left in your head

    No they aren't. The above appears to be a genuine belief, If you think they are wrong then why not discuss it.


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