Housemate is gone for a week, left his phone with facebook perma-logged on.

smash · 23-01-2012 03:40PM

Post a few updated about being drunk. Then as the night goes on get more obnoxious and then upload a pic of a small willy and tag it with "I know all you bitches want me"

Also, add a shít loads of strangers as friends.

Kev.OC · 23-01-2012 03:41PM

If you're going to "frape" your housemate, take your time, do it properly. Subtlety is key. If you arouse suspicion, you've failed.

Might be fun to change his status to "I love willys!", but that's painfully obvious as a "frape".

As for contributing with ideas, I'm drawing a blank here. I'll get back to you.

On a side note, real pity that "She said "yes"!" one is out.

Ellis Dee · 23-01-2012 03:45PM

Why not just switch the phone off and save your housemate all that extra expense?:rolleyes:

You know, do him a favour. What goes round comes round.:)

Anyone · 23-01-2012 03:45PM

Final thing you should do, is install the chinese keyboard on the phone and change the settings to chinese. Actually, this is only funny as long as he isn't chinese.

gosuckonalemon · 23-01-2012 03:49PM

wobbles-grogan wrote: »

So yeah, he's gone for 4 days or something, I woke up this morning to an alarm going off downstairs. Went down to find them gone to the airport, phone on the counter, house upside down, and..... facebook still logged on?! Awesome! Must ruin his account.

Might try doing a running joke for the whole time he's gone... He'll never know! (except for the high possibility of an internet café)
Anyone have any good ones?

I can only think up of the normal crappy "shagged a sheep" ones...

I think the good people of after hours will be able to help me here!

change his status to "finally got 4 days away from that childish retard that I have to live with". See what kind of response you get..

seamus · 23-01-2012 04:01PM

Come up with a small adventure story covering the whole four days and post status updates every couple of hours. Screw with the location settings and check-ins to make it appear like you're posting from those locations.

Start off small with something like, "Got off airplane and discovered that someone has stolen my wallet & passport. Fnck sakes". Then an hour later, "Cops won't believe me. Sitting in a cell waiting to be processed or something".

Then two hours later, "They left the door open so I made a run for it. Sitting at the back of a café now, robbed some cash for food off a drunk guy. I don't think they're looking for me".

Make sure that you let the phone ring out every time it goes off, and be careful only to be on facebook for a couple of seconds at a time. Never respond to any questions on facebook, only post the update and then log off.
The story should culminate with him stealing money off an asian prostitute and using it to buy a fake passport and bribe a security official at the airport a few hours before his (actual) scheduled arrival home.

MagicSean · 23-01-2012 04:02PM

Each day write a story about how the day went with ridiculous situations. Just swipe some ideas from Idiot Abroad.

EDIT: Dam you Seamus for reading my mind.

Standard Toaster · 23-01-2012 04:02PM

Melt his phone in the microwave.

blatantrereg · 23-01-2012 04:26PM

JumpingforJack wrote: »

Change his gender to female. Classic.

that one is good because he ont notice for a while, so more a wtf moment.Also if bday reminders get sent out they'll say she/her.

Add a mark wahlberg album and add lots of pics of mark wahlburg to it - a few at a time for maximum visibility. Add a like for the film "boogie nights" and New Kids on the Block, as well as Mark Wahlberg

castie · 23-01-2012 04:34PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Pretend your housemate has found Jesus and post regular updates and quotes from the bible in relation to his day.

Proverbs 14:27 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.

:pac:

Post status updates that his housemate has attacked him with a knife.
Continue this for a few days and ... oh wait where did i get this idea again..

Hello world · 23-01-2012 04:45PM

I draped my sister once, said that she was feeding a horse and it trampled her and she was then in hospital with an ankle that was shattered and she had to decide if she should get it removed at the knee of saw through the shin. I think what really sold it was when I commented from my account saying "mom wants to know when she can come in and visit"
Then I switched her phone to airplane mode and let it sit for a while. When she finally turned the phone off airplane loads of texts came through wishing her well and all that crap family in Dublin and stuff were ringing my mother trying to see if she was ok .... Was shocked at how many people believed it

conorhal · 23-01-2012 04:59PM

Start randomly 'un-friending' people and when the mail him to ask why, just reply, 'Oh I think we both know the answer to that....'

bricky06 · 23-01-2012 05:05PM

Get him to have a birthday every day this week and see how many of his 'friends' actually know him!

Jess16 · 23-01-2012 05:07PM

Scroll through his friends list to find his most aesthetically challenged female friend and start flirting with her via pm before eventually organising a date for the same day he's due back in the country.

Then confuse the hell out of her and everybody else by leaving a few well placed comments, including: "What a happy photo" and "Dynamite cheekbones dude" on several of his hottest male friends' photos

endacl · 23-01-2012 05:32PM

Jess16 wrote: »

Scroll through his friends list to find his most aesthetically challenged female friend and start flirting with her via pm before eventually organising a date for the same day he's due back in the country.

Then confuse the hell out of her and everybody else by leaving a few well placed comments, including: "What a happy photo" and "Dynamite cheekbones dude" on several of his hottest male friends' photos

With the added benefit of hurting people op doesn't even know? 'Aesthetically challenged'...?

endacl · 23-01-2012 05:36PM

Turn his phone off. Put it in his room. Shut the door. Get on with your own week. Don't be an arse. Will stand to you in the long run. Not being an arse.

wobbles-grogan · 23-01-2012 05:36PM

endacl wrote: »

Turn his phone off. Put it in his room. Shut the door. Get on with your own week. Don't be an arse. Will stand to you in the long run. Not being an arse.

Ah have a bit of craic will ya!

Its not like he takes facebook seriously anyway...

Oranage2 · 23-01-2012 05:38PM

Message every girl 'friend' he has saying he wants to have sex with them.

Stinicker · 23-01-2012 05:48PM

F7ck just got back from the clinic, chlamydia what a horrible dose!

brummytom · 23-01-2012 05:48PM

My favourite I ever got was 'Sometimes I frape myself to make it look like I've got friends'

bordsie · 23-01-2012 05:52PM

Be mature about this OP,

bring the phone back to his room and put it on his bed....

then Blast it with Pisssssss!

thenightrider · 23-01-2012 05:58PM

Change his profile pic to this

Fear Uladh · 23-01-2012 06:04PM

How about this classic.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Eric Cartman · 23-01-2012 06:07PM

change his gender to a woman, change his birthday to 2 weeks time and then send friend requests to girls you know that he doesnt

Kev.OC · 23-01-2012 06:16PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

Message every girl 'friend' he has saying he wants to have sex with them.

Alternatively, ask them "Why haven't we had sex yet?", see what answers come back.

YFlyer · 23-01-2012 06:34PM

giant_midget wrote: »

delete all his personal information & details & photos then close his account

Yes he will thank you years down the line.

wobbles-grogan · 23-01-2012 06:44PM

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

You should put up a status update where he says there are 4 days in a week.

Make him look stupid.

Hmm. I actually didnt get what you were saying till i read back over my original post!

Ah well... I did say "or something" for a reason.

Jess16 · 23-01-2012 06:47PM

endacl wrote: »

With the added benefit of hurting people op doesn't even know? 'Aesthetically challenged'...?

Yes, aesthetically challenged. A more polite way of saying ugly basically, or is that also too politically incorrect for you?

endacl wrote: »

Don't be an arse. Will stand to you in the long run. Not being an arse.

You should probably start taking your own advice

RichieC · 23-01-2012 06:48PM

Change his birthday to tomorrow and he'll feel ****ty when people who should know better start saying happy bday, dude!

fusuf · 23-01-2012 06:50PM

delete all his friends?

Housemate is gone for a week, left his phone with facebook perma-logged on.

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