Is marriage worth it?

Toby Take a Bow · 09-01-2012 07:39PM

In addition to (possible) tax credits, I read somewhere once (so it must be true) that being married is good for your health because living with someone in an intimate relationship means that the other person will be aware of things wrong with you that you might not notice yourself (weird growth on your back, something you always thought was normal that should be checked out). I remember the article specified those married, so maybe doesn't include those in long-term relationships (but not married) as maybe they have a higher chance of not succeeding?

Pherekydes · 09-01-2012 07:41PM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Actually if you have kids and are male then it gives you more rights than if you were not married to your partner, ie not having to apply for guardianship if your partner passed away.

When it comes to single fathers rights in this country it really is arse about face...

Correct. In fact, it's even worse, as you have to apply for guardianship before you can put your name on your own children's birth certs if their mother is married to someone else (i.e. only separated).

egan2020 · 09-01-2012 07:42PM

Inheritance tax plays a big part in it too. AFAIK there is no tax payable on gifts or inheritances between spouses but this doesn't apply to cohabiting couples.

Jess16 · 09-01-2012 07:52PM

Sindri wrote: »

And all Irish women are neurotic so I'd have to say no.

How dare you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svB6PyPU8PU

Lawrence1895 · 09-01-2012 08:01PM

A marriage does not improve a relationship or makes it worse...it's just to give insecure partners some security

Jesus Wept · 09-01-2012 08:06PM

Sindri wrote: »

In Ireland it's 0.7%.

Because a divorce is so arduous to get.
We aren't much better at marriage than Americans, if at all.

KeithAFC · 09-01-2012 08:09PM

Yes. If only more people did marriage and make a commitment. Instead our society is ripped apart by marriages broken, affairs all over the place and children having bad upbringings with a lack of guidance from parents. If only traditional values meant more in society.

Veleste · 09-01-2012 08:53PM

Marriage is just a tax break. If you're asking if a committed relationship is worth it, though, god yes. Just make sure you've the right person first. Nothing worse than living with someone you secretly want to suffocate or who shares none of your interests.

I briefly had a roommate who loved Polka, NEVER. AGAIN. Then again I'm sure he remembers me as the roommate who tried to drown out his music with Phantom of the Opera.

Handy11 · 09-01-2012 09:04PM

In my experience, marriage is great. It's your way of saying to the world that you love this person and want to be with them for the rest of your life. It's more than just a wedding. The marriage is kinda cool. Ring always there to remind you of what you did and who you're lucky to be with.

XenaLady · 09-01-2012 09:06PM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Actually if you have kids and are male then it gives you more rights than if you were not married to your partner, ie not having to apply for guardianship if your partner passed away.

When it comes to single fathers rights in this country it really is arse about face...

I never thought it matters to guys, thought it was only us ladies that seem to be anxious about getting married. Tried once, and I know enough to say never again.

Frank Black · 09-01-2012 09:14PM

Handy11 wrote: »

In my experience, marriage is great. It's your way of saying to the world that you love this person and want to be with them for the rest of your life. It's more than just a wedding. The marriage is kinda cool. Ring always there to remind you of what you did and who you're lucky to be with.

*passes sick bucket around*

Doc Ruby · 09-01-2012 09:16PM

sgb wrote: »

When you are single a married life seems very attractive

No it doesn't. I'll let From Dusk till Dawn tell it like it is:

You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog **** from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery.

Seth: No, thanks. I've already had a wife.

Truer words were never spoken.

3rdDegree · 09-01-2012 09:23PM

The-Rigger wrote: »

Sindri wrote: »

In Ireland it's 0.7%.

Because a divorce is so arduous to get.
We aren't much better at marriage than Americans, if at all.

True. The percentage of separated married couples would be a more interesting statistic.

bnt · 09-01-2012 09:50PM

If you want to see some real horror stories and marriage-bashing, there's a whole forum full of it: Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). Not for the Romantic of either gender.

Freddie59 · 09-01-2012 09:53PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

Im 21 and am very much unmarried. What is your experience of marriage and would you recommend it or would you steer a young man as myself clear of such an arrangement:D

No-one can "steer you clear from such an arrangement" as you describe it. FFS you make it sound like buying a car! If you are blessed in finding a soul mate you may want to do it. We're 30 years married, with three adult children, and still love each other very much. I cannot imagine a life without my best friend. Ever.

Freddie59 · 09-01-2012 09:54PM

Sindri wrote: »

About a 1/2 of marriages end in divorce.

Plus you give up all your power to a woman who becomes increasingly insane and divorced from reality as they age (due to hormonal imbalances).

And all Irish women are neurotic so I'd have to say no.

Wow! I don't think generalisation even covers THAT one!:D Maybe the word 'paranoid' might be used to describe someone else........;):)

Temptamperu · 09-01-2012 09:55PM

Dont let Vince Vaughn movies put you off.

krudler · 09-01-2012 09:55PM

to quote Louis CK:

"Marriage is when you can say "I cant leave now! not that I was thinking of leaving but now I really cant" until the first kid comes along and then you say "****! I could have left!"

saa · 09-01-2012 10:02PM

John Doe1 wrote: »

Im 21 and am very much unmarried. What is your experience of marriage and would you recommend it or would you steer a young man as myself clear of such an arrangement:D

Yes steer clear at any age unless you find someone who you can't be around enough you love them so much you just want to celebrate, sign some legal stuff and get tax credits.

I want to get married through civil ceremony and have a nice family of my own but I still can't really pin point why I need to get married to have a nice family life (cue angry single moms - bastard children rant :pac:)

dogwoodflower · 10-01-2012 05:32AM

sgb wrote: »

When you are single a married life seems very attractive

When you are married a single life seems very attractive

so true

working fool · 10-01-2012 07:18AM

I'm getting divorced this year, I can't wait ,
It was a terrable mistake , luckily I had the good sence not to involve children as my ex suggested it would fix everything
" biological clock ticking " and all that .
But saying that I have met a wonderful partner now .

Azureus · 10-01-2012 07:32AM

Freddie59 wrote: »

No-one can "steer you clear from such an arrangement" as you describe it. FFS you make it sound like buying a car! If you are blessed in finding a soul mate you may want to do it. We're 30 years married, with three adult children, and still love each other very much. I cannot imagine a life without my best friend. Ever.

Is it so terribly different from purchasing a car? In fact, you'd pursuade me to buy a car much faster than you would get me to marry somebody,at least I can sell the car. Personally I don't see the benefits of marriage outside of tax credits so for me it would most likely be a type of financial arrangement just as much as buying a shiny new mini would be.
Dont get me wrong, I am very much in love with my partner-I cant imagine a life without my best friend either. I just dont see what benefits marriage would have to me in this day and age.

Congrats on 30 years though, it's nice to see when it works

Kinetic Eye · 10-01-2012 08:11AM

bnt wrote: »

If you want to see some real horror stories and marriage-bashing, there's a whole forum full of it: Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). Not for the Romantic of either gender.

Jesus Christ, those are some sad and bitter men. With usernames like "womanhater" to boot.

hatrickpatrick · 10-01-2012 08:43AM

Until the courts get a bit of cop on with regard to one sided divorce rules I'm always going to view it as a bad deal for guys. Strikes me that you're giving up your own security but getting hardly any in return. Hear way, way too many stories of guys getting shafted these days.

EDIT: To be clear I do actually believe in finding a soul mate and staying together for life. My issue is purely with the institution itself in that it involves singing a contract which essentially seems to give the other party all the cards if things go wrong, which unfortunately they do in this world, sometimes.

smokedeels · 10-01-2012 08:47AM

Shenshen wrote: »

It's a lot like sex in that respect.

Surely the universal answer to "when to have sex" is 17

later12 · 10-01-2012 09:04AM

I don't intend to marry; I don't see any honour in making a promise to someone that I don't know I can keep, or without the benefit of a crystal ball.

I'm tempted to say I would marry if a woman whom I cared about very deeply wanted to do it, but I don't know that I would ever enter a relationship with such a woman to begin with. We probably wouldn't be one another's type.

The only possible benefit to marriage is tax; since acquiring parental responsibility as an unmarried father shouldn't be especially difficult (at least it isn't in the UK, unsure about the situation in Ireland).

CathyMoran · 10-01-2012 09:10AM

If you are married you both have more rights if one of you is ill - my husband made decisions about me a few years ago when I was seriously ill. When I was just his girlfriend his family could in theory have stopped me seeing him when he was in hospital.

I was totally certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband when I married him (I love him) - little rows that you could walk away from in the past have to be resolved which is good - it gives stability.

Scanlas The 2nd · 10-01-2012 09:21AM

CathyMoran wrote: »

If you are married you both have more rights if one of you is ill - my husband made decisions about me a few years ago when I was seriously ill. When I was just his girlfriend his family could in theory have stopped me seeing him when he was in hospital.

I was totally certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband when I married him (I love him) - little rows that you could walk away from in the past have to be resolved which is good - it gives stability.

What's stability and why do you want it?

later12 · 10-01-2012 09:25AM

CathyMoran wrote: »

I was totally certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband when I married him (I love him) - little rows that you could walk away from in the past have to be resolved which is good - it gives stability.

Similar question to Scanlas - do you really want a tie based on common, civil or religious law (complex separation procedure) rather than respect?

Frank Black · 10-01-2012 09:27AM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's stability?

It's too small wheels that are attached either side of the rear wheel on a bicycle.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

and why do you want it?

Stops you falling over.

Is marriage worth it?

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