C&H Jizzlers Awards Ceremony 2011

If I've already handed out this award then it was intentional. I did not forget which awards I'd given out.

Now we have to recognise people for being bored enough to spend their time. We call it a Lifetime Achievement award but it is common knowledge that the award changes owners on an annual basis and that none of the winners have achieved a single lifetime in any Mario game, at least none of those on the NES. The people who were nominated for this award are important because they've wasted a lot of time here, most likely trying to improve the place without realising it is ultimately futile as the power of S-pam grows ever stronger.

Anyway here's placements for this achievement thing.

Lifetime Achievement award for services to C&H

5th - konata/brummytom/jefreywithonef/Aoibheann

4th - Iheartchemistry/The Great Chinholio

3rd - soccymonster

2nd - Pigwidgeon

This leads me to conclude that the Lifetime Achievement award for 2011 goes to
Captain Graphite/KnifeWRENCH

http://i.imgur.com/Pc6S9.jpg

Captain Graphite is a surprising choice this year, an unknown who has somehow climbed the political ladder in his short time here. He is not KnifeWRENCH.

After much dragging things out pointlessly and me not being slow at typing at all, we are coming toward the end of the awards.

Is it probably custom to leave Best Poster until last. As such I can offer to bump up the Best Award in this entire show. The award for Best jumpguy. To be a good jumpguy one must learn to control one's own demons and words similar to that. To be frank I don't think anybody can really say for sure what it is that makes a jumpguy. Obvious factors are determination, an optimistic/pessimistic outlook, a voice like Clint Eastwood, a blog like Dingosatemybaby and an avatar like jumpguy's.

The award in question has gone unrecognised in part because of how few are willing to recognise the popular vote. Everybody wants to be jumpguy, not everybody can. It's not jumpguys, it's jumpguy. Other times it's because people insist that the j must be capitalised to reflect its status as an award. But now we've all grown up or grown some balls, and finally there will be an official 2011 Best jumpguy award.

Here are the results for Best jumpguy:
5th - QueenOfLeon

4th - jackobyte/insect overlord/Aoibheann/Dingosatemybaby

3rd - shannon_tek/eVeNtInE/Davidius

2nd - jumpguy

And so I reluctantly announce 2011's Best jumpguy, as decided by popular vote and loose thinking:

not jumpguy/Jumpy

http://i.imgur.com/PghpJ.jpg

Now I am not one to promote violence, but a perfectly just reaction here would be a Civil War.

The 2nd last official reward is the one for people who are really good at hearing things with their mouths apparently. You people are a strange bunch and it does not surprise me that some of you have gained the power to taste the vibrations produced by instruments.

I have no idea how people manage to put up with the kind of music you listen to, I will offer the following substitute:



If that does not culture you then nothing will.

So here are the results for that award that nobody forgot existed at all. They are presented just as planned.

Best Taste in Moo-sick
6th - decisions/agnostic mantis/Aoibheann

5th - bythewoods/conorstuff/namlub/ohthebaby/Jay P/jumpguy/cawcheen/knife WRENCH/soccymonster/pseudo famous

4th - jumpguy/duffy the vampire slayer/M&S*/deise_girl/cheesefiend/yourtexthere

3rd - insect overlord/jako8

2nd - jefreywithonef/Slow Show

So the person who knows how to hear things correctly must be

Colm?

http://i.imgur.com/jbXql.jpg