C&H Jizzlers Awards Ceremony 2011

Davidius

Patience is appreciated for I have to do stuff with words and I'm not very good at things I do.

Moving on, the next award doesn't go to any of you. Instead we award ideas, discussion, circlejerking and talking about them feelings you all like so much. If you are forgetful, this means that the next award is for the Best Thread.

The Best Thread has to have all the right stuff,...

...


...

So here's the runner-ups:

7th - Here's One I made earlier/Happy Birthday/General Election/Sleepy Sleepy Dreamy Dreamy

6th - So, it's half four in the morning/Share something you like/find interesting

5th - Yaaahhh/C&H Christmassy thread/Aaaarrrrgggh

"4th" - In the playpen Davidius II: The franchise killing sequel (1st in spirit and objective reality)

3rd - Letters from C&H to the world //Strangely anachronistic in the age of e-mail.

2nd - Soundtrack to your angst Not a real thread guys, I thoroughly disapprove.

This leaves the thread which people apparently enjoyed the most as "In the playpen Davidius II: The franchise killing sequel", but Officially it's

Have you ever had depression?
It's about contours and stuff.

http://i.imgur.com/xn5vT.jpg

Grindylow

Lads :L Look at urban dictionary's definitions for jizzler.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jizzler

decisions

Grindylow wrote: »

Lads :L Look at urban dictionary's definitions for jizzler.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jizzler

We are classy folk..

IHeartChemistry

Grindylow wrote: »

Lads :L Look at urban dictionary's definitions for jizzler.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jizzler

Epic...

Aoifey!

Grindylow wrote: »

Lads :L Look at urban dictionary's definitions for jizzler.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jizzler

Sounds like us :pac:

Slow Show

I find it hilarious that this thread and this thread are on the front page of boards.

Could it be....? :eek:

Namlub

All the cattle had to be taken off

Davidius

In this next award we pay our respects to people who like to be all artsy and not at all rigorous or logical in their approach to life. The socially acceptable description for these wasters is "Creative". Being that many of you are teenagers, it's fitting to give some sort of award for creativity to distract you from the fact that artists get nowhere and that the adult world will crush that spirit slowly and painfully.

Now the award for most pretentious/creative is a celebrated award. Shockingly I wasn't nominated even with my initial piece in the original post of this thread. As per regulation we can only give the award to the people who actually won, but off the record it should probably go to Pygmalion for his creative writing abilities.

Runner-ups:
The Hacks - jackobyte/indiego/the great chinholio/deise_girl

3rd - arcade panda

2nd - Agnostic Mantis

By Method of Exhaustion the best drawing, creative (wo)man person elected today is

Banjo Fella

http://i.imgur.com/sJqIX.jpg

If he claims any technical expertise, do not trust him. Creative types are known for their mastery of illusionary techniques.

Namlub

Hon the banjo fella! Now do your acceptance speech in the form of interpretive dance, or something creative like that

QueenOfLeon

Oh my God I just arrived I need to catch up! :eek:

However I am dressed and ready for my awards acceptances.



Move up please, you people are touching my dress.

Aoifey!

Go Banjo Fella

Davidius

Now I have to give an award for which I was nominated - Funniest Poster. It doesn't really make any sense to me why people always interpret my stoic, matter-of-fact statements as humour. However I am a very simple man and will glady collect any winnings I earn in my pursuit to spread the message of rationality and correct thinking. That is if I win. A loss can only be interpreted as people coming to their senses about my clever ideas, or a very weak sense of humour.

Here are the people who are allegedly funny.

8th - Slow_show/Agnostic Mantis/Captain graphite

7th - Grindylow/deise_girl

6th - Lawliet/Duffy the vampire slayer/doublechinlolz/degausserxo/jumpguy

5th - jefreywithonef A sure sign of a broken democracy, clearly this jefrey fellow deserves a better position than this.

4th - the great chinholio

3rd - Davidius

2nd - namlub
However in accordance with the rules of the misogynist's handbook, women are not funny. Thus namlub is disqualified and Davidius rightfully moves up.

This would suggest that the winner of the award is none other than
randylonghorn

However as randylonghorn is obviously too old for this forum I disqualify him and award 1st place to Davidius, the funniest poster on C&H.

Here's your award Davidius. We did not have time to put your name on it.

http://i.imgur.com/8VSSY.jpg

Pygmalion

Davidius wrote: »

As per regulation we can only give the award to the people who actually won, but off the record it should probably go to Pygmalion for his creative writing abilities.

I only have myself to blame, I left beginning my writing career until after nominations had closed.

Banjo Fella

Yaaaay! Thanks so much! The cold, dreadful, second-hand instant noodle-fuelled existence I'll have to scavenge desperately for myself in future will be totally worth it, just to have won this Jizzler. Your kindness fills my heart with a warmth that no flaming hobo barrel, fingerless gloves, cardboard box, or newspaper-covered park bench will ever come close to matching.

TheRealSquishy

Pygmalion wrote: »

I only have myself to blame, I left beginning my writing career until after nominations had closed.

Next year Pyg, next year!

Grindylow

YO RANDY I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT

NAMLUB DESERVED TO BE FUNNIEST POSTER

Namlub

Don't be like that, we all have lovely bottoms

Davidius

Now we move onto the slow award for slowest host. Well we will when we get past the next award which is about being all friendly but not necessarily not-evil.

Nice-guy Award
7th/Meanest bastards on C&H-
jumpguy/banjofella/Aoifey/namlub/seanbmc/deise_girl/sreaminmidget/shadowninty

6th/Not so Mean, but would probably kick an orphan
-M&S*/The Great Chinholo/randylonghorn/insect overlord/cakesofrice/your text here/slow show/Aoibheann

5th/The women - Lawliet/eVeNtInE

4th/Other women - ohthebaby/_meehan_

3rd - **timbuk2**/Iheartchemistry Winners in spirit

2nd - QueenOfLeon Fixed voting, has never said a nice word to anybody.

And so the award for biggest pushover goes to...two people? I think the machine is broken
almostnever
and
jackobyte

http://i.imgur.com/8Z1el.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/0DYXH.jpg

Aoifey!

You're all cnuts :pac:

Professey Chin

I resent that. Theres no probably about it, id definitely kick an orphan

Jackobyte

YAY!

So I can stop with this act now? Great! It gets tiresome pretending to be nice the whole time. >.>



Seriously though, thanks everyone! This actually means a lot to me. I can never see the good side of myself or my personality and it actually means a lot to have the forum vote for me as niceguy. YAY!

IHeartChemistry

3rd place? I'll take it :pac: Congratsies almostnever and jackobyte

almostnever

Banjo Fella

At least by being mean, I'm now one step closer to accomplishing my lean, mean, green goal of becoming a ninja turtle. Woo!

I'd better say something unpleasant, now that I'm one tough so-and-so... er, your father smells of elderberries! A-also... I cast aspersions upon your facial arrangements. Yeah!

Davidius

Love is in the air around this time of year. Lots of bored people having intercourse you see. It's a bit disgusting when you consider it in a more objective light. Some people will swear love is what makes life worth living, and that it makes the world go around. This is silly, romantic thinking. In truth life has no meaning and the world spins the way it does due to the continued effects of a series of physical interactions from before the feeling of love could ever possibly be synthesised in the human brain.

Love is what people feel when they lose their rationality and let down their guard in the presence of enemies.

Should be a couple
8th - Deise & Shadowninty/RolandIRL & Randylonghorn

7th - Duffy & Noel/shadowninty & slow show/shadowninty & indiego/pygmalion & the great chinholio

6th - Aoibheann & Conor/Noelmonster/Pygmalion & Davidius Such a dreamboat - no homo.

5th - screaminmidget & shadowninty/grindylow & davidius I hate you guys

4th - wnolan1992 & anyone Most justified but most unlikely.

3rd - namlub & grindylow

2nd - Aoifey & RolandIRL IRL stands for In Real Life I bet.

This in turn leaves us with a disqualified entry which we'll now have to worship as our God. Way to go everybody.
Deisemonster & One Direction, whatever that is.

http://i.imgur.com/RVlMT.jpg

RolandIRL

Aoifey...i don't care what the awards say...we're the best "should be a couple"

jefreywithonef

Myself and everyone in IRC shamefully overlooked. </3

Aoifey!

2nd place, next year we'll so it Rolly-baby

soccymonster

Oh my gawd, I acto lol'd.
Didn't think we'd win it again this year.

Thanks to everyone who voted! And to my all the mommys and daddys who made the 7 of us and stuff like that. I'd like to thank Niall, Harry, Liam, Zayn, Louis and my deise_bbz for being there till the beginning and will be there till the end :')

We're so cute together, right, RIIIIGGHT?!?!

suitcasepink

This is 3 years running now soccy....
Think one of us is gonna have to "pop the question" soon, its what the public want