How would you feel if your child was gay?

Trader1991 · 08-10-2011 03:41PM

id be distraught! especially if he was camp

billybudd · 08-10-2011 03:42PM

4leto wrote: »

I go with that, and I concede an earlier post I made, there are gay groups that help someone come to terms with their own sexuality, there are also groups that help parents come to terms with their children's sexuality. So I acknowledge it is a genuine problem for some.

It can be devastating to BOTH parties, but it is getting easier. I hope someday it wont matter at all, we are getting there.

yes compared to even 15 yrs ago it is much easier in society and more accepted which is of course good.

Micky Dolenz · 08-10-2011 03:43PM

Sonics2k wrote: »

I remember when a close friend of mine came out to his father during our late teens, I was there for it and couldn't help laugh at the conversation.

Son: Dad, I have something to tell you.
Dad: What's up?
Son: I'm gay.
*slight pause*
Dad: No **** ya fairy, now take out the trash like I told you last night.
Son: What? Is that all?
Dad: Just never fall in love with a ging and I don't care.

Was a fairly epic moment.

Do you live in the States?

Peep O'Day · 08-10-2011 03:44PM

willmunny1990 wrote: »

Personally, and I'm slightly ashamed to say this, but I'd be very disappointed.

I have no problem with gay people, I know a few and get on with them just fine. But, I would be devastated if I found out my child was gay. It would be an unmitigated disaster in my view.

Why? First of all for selfish reasons. I would love to be a grandfather one day and would find it hard to accept of being deprived that aspiration.

Secondly, I think gay people are unfortunately still heavily discriminated against in life. Especially when they are younger and in School. And it is not my wish to have my son go through hardships like this.

So, how would you feel if your child was gay?

Fair play to you for being honest about how you feel, that takes a bit of courage especially considering the culture of "I dare not speak out on how I really feel for fear of being crucified by the masses who know better".

billybudd · 08-10-2011 03:45PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Do you live in the States?

No just D4! its normal around there

krudler · 08-10-2011 03:52PM

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I really don't understand why the term "devastated" is being thrown about so readily here. Surely being devastated that your child is gay is a complete over-exaggeration in this day and age?

Being devastated that you might not get to have grandchildren? IMO, that's a completely selfish reaction. There are much more relevant, important issues to be devastated over IMO.

one of my exes brothers came out to his parents (was a surprise to nobody but them, hes not blatantly over the top campy gay but you can pretty much tell upon meeting him he is) and they were horrified. they're still living in 50s catholic ireland though, any talk of anything gay or gay related is glossed over as if its a mortal sin or something. dopes.

Daftendirekt · 08-10-2011 03:55PM

Domo230 wrote: »

It depends........

If I've got loads of kids then it's grand but if I only have the one kid then it would be a bit of a shocker. I would'nt treat him any differently but I would be trying to have another child so I can have grandkids and not be genetically wiped out.

What would you do if your second kid decided not to (or couldn't) reproduce?

Sonics2k · 08-10-2011 04:03PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Do you live in the States?

No, but they were actually Yanks living here in Cork.

Didn't realise it would be so obvious in my post

pragmatic1 · 08-10-2011 04:11PM

Peep O'Day wrote: »

Fair play to you for being honest about how you feel, that takes a bit of courage especially considering the culture of "I dare not speak out on how I really feel for fear of being crucified by the masses who know better".

"Courage", "crucified". Dude its an online forum where the worst thing that could happen is someone will type something nasty.

4leto · 08-10-2011 04:13PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

"Courage", "crucified". Dude its an online forum where the worst thing that could happen is someone will type something nasty.

If that happened to me.

I would be devastated.:(

Peep O'Day · 08-10-2011 04:15PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

"Courage", "crucified". Dude its an online forum where the worst thing that could happen is someone will type something nasty.

Yeah okay fair enough, that was hyperbolic but the point stands that not many people will express how they truly feel on certain matters as it's not the "correct" stance on the issue

paddyandy · 08-10-2011 04:16PM

Tell him to Emigrate and give him the money to do so.

hondasam · 08-10-2011 04:22PM

Peep O'Day wrote: »

Yeah okay fair enough, that was hyperbolic but the point stands that not many people will express how they truly feel on certain matters as it's not the "correct" stance on the issue

It's easy to sit at home and type all the right words to look good but Real life is a bit different.
It's like most things in life until you have some experience of it you cannot understand it.
I find what people say and what they do can be hypocritical.

pragmatic1 · 08-10-2011 04:23PM

Peep O'Day wrote: »

Yeah okay fair enough, that was hyperbolic but the point stands that not many people will express how they truly feel on certain matters as it's not the "correct" stance on the issue

On an anonymous internet forum conversing with people you'll never meet? Must be lots of sensitive wee souls out there then.

orourkeda · 08-10-2011 04:25PM

EarlERizer · 08-10-2011 04:33PM

Mitchell or Byrne ???

billybudd · 08-10-2011 04:43PM

hondasam wrote: »

It's easy to sit at home and type all the right words to look good but Real life is a bit different.
It's like most things in life until you have some experience of it you cannot understand it.
I find what people say and what they do can be hypocritical.

You’re not heroic for being honest to say your devastated or heroic for being of the right on mentality, you are heroic for being open minded to evaluate your own thoughts on right and wrong and acceptance of your Childs sexuality so you can still be the unconditional loving parent you are supposed to be.

Dave147 · 08-10-2011 04:44PM

Sonics2k wrote: »

Hi, I'm an actual parent to two children.

Both of my parent's are gay (mother and father).
I am straight, not bi, not curious, completely straight (for those morons who think genetics affects it).

I honestly could not give a flying fúck if one, or both, of my children were gay.

I have zero respect for parents who are bothered by the fact their child is gay, because it is wrong, stupid and completely selfish.

A person's sexuality has absolutely zero bearing on the person they are, the things they do and the way they think.
And the sooner society fúcking understands this, the better we will be as a species.

Great post, I'll be honest and say I'd rather my kids (if I have any) were straight. However, if any of them did turn out to be gay I would respect that and love them just as much, some of my best friends are gay, and the reason they're my best friends is that they're some of the nicest people you'll meet. How many scumbags or criminals do you hear of or know that are gay, not very many, they just seem to almost always be nice people! Cork has one of the best gay scenes in the country and it's great to see less division down here, albeit most of them do go to 'gay bars' but that's more personal preference than anything else.

Obviously the fiasco in The Old Oak recently didn't do us any favours but that was an isolated incident and doesn't represent Cork as a whole. Anyway to sum it up, if my kids were gay I would support them through it and make sure they can come to me no matter what.

billybudd · 08-10-2011 04:51PM

Dave147 wrote: »

Great post, I'll be honest and say I'd rather my kids (if I have any) were straight. However, if any of them did turn out to be gay I would respect that and love them just as much, some of my best friends are gay, and the reason they're my best friends is that they're some of the nicest people you'll meet. How many scumbags or criminals do you hear of or know that are gay, not very many, they just seem to almost always be nice people! Cork has one of the best gay scenes in the country and it's great to see less division down here, albeit most of them do go to 'gay bars' but that's more personal preference than anything else.

Obviously the fiasco in The Old Oak recently didn't do us any favours but that was an isolated incident and doesn't represent Cork as a whole. Anyway to sum it up, if my kids were gay I would support them through it and make sure they can come to me no matter what.

How is it a great post, intolerance to intolerance? not everyone is the same, some people will have problems with their children being gay, is it better to be understanding and work together to tolerance or just merely to be dramatic and say f**k them.?

hondasam · 08-10-2011 04:56PM

Dave147 wrote: »

Great post, I'll be honest and say I'd rather my kids (if I have any) were straight. However, if any of them did turn out to be gay I would respect that and love them just as much, some of my best friends are gay, and the reason they're my best friends is that they're some of the nicest people you'll meet. How many scumbags or criminals do you hear of or know that are gay, not very many, they just seem to almost always be nice people! Cork has one of the best gay scenes in the country and it's great to see less division down here, albeit most of them do go to 'gay bars' but that's more personal preference than anything else.

Obviously the fiasco in The Old Oak recently didn't do us any favours but that was an isolated incident and doesn't represent Cork as a whole. Anyway to sum it up, if my kids were gay I would support them through it and make sure they can come to me no matter what.

I don't get your post, some of your best friends are gay but You don't want your kids to be gay, it's ok for everyone else's but not your family, this is been a hypocrite.

You would respect and love them so would every other parent. It's not about loving them.

puzzle factory · 08-10-2011 05:03PM

i couldnt care less,once there happy.

Plautus · 08-10-2011 05:05PM

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

*sigh*

And the "everyone agree with me or **** off" train just keeps on rolling.

I love AH, it's basically an opinion by popular consensus...anyone else is WRONG.

I'd give Maikikomi the benefit of the doubt seeing as he's been the first out of the traps always on AH to call out homophobia when he sees it (I seem to remember he posted a thread about some poor guy who was gay-bashed and stood firm while others were implying that if the guy was camp he was asking for it.)

I'm sure he'd never hold it against his kids but would be disappointed at not being a grandparent with no wider implications beyond that. Maybe 'devastated' is a bit much and where all the misunderstanding stems from? I don't think any child, if they were gay, would like to think that their innate sexuality caused their parent to be emotionally distraught! I think the OP nailed it on the head himself when he describes his reaction as one which is emotional but ultimately selfish.

As it is I really don't like the argument that's been repeatedly trotted out along these lines:

Yeah okay fair enough, that was hyperbolic but the point stands that not many people will express how they truly feel on certain matters as it's not the "correct" stance on the issue

We have no way of knowing that people's stated opinions on here are otherwise. I'm not particularly interested in giving some people in this thread (who clearly would have a problem if their children were gay) comfort from some sort of appeal to a great silent majority that they really think is with them and saying nothing or lying. That's the real wishful thinking I can discern in the thread.

Finally, AH isn't a 'PC-gone-mad' hive mind. We have Degsy FFS!

Mike 1972 · 08-10-2011 05:10PM

Matthew23 wrote: »

another question to people who think this is wrong is wouild you let a gay babysitter take care of your kids?

EarlERizer wrote: »

Mitchell or Byrne ???

Come to think of it....:pac:

mcgarry098 · 08-10-2011 05:25PM

i wouldnt care but i would feel sorry for the child as it would be hard on them.. It wouldnt change the child at all in my eyes!

wonderfulname · 08-10-2011 05:37PM

hondasam wrote: »

It's easy to sit at home and type all the right words to look good but Real life is a bit different.

Does anybody else find this stance amusing? Considering that when people write extreme racist or homophobic commentary in other threads it is invariably said that "they wouldn't say that in real life, it's just the freedom of anonymity on the internet". So which one is it? Does the internet increase the number of people vocalising unpopular views, or the number pandering to the masses? Or is it just that it removes you from the comfort of your real life social circle, therefore exposing you to opinions you rarely or never hear, meaning the issues lie with the observer, not the observed? So everybody is telling the truth, it's just not the truth anyone is used to hearing?

hondasam wrote: »

I don't get your post, some of your best friends are gay but You don't want your kids to be gay, it's ok for everyone else's but not your family, this is been a hypocrite.

No It's not, loads of people would prefer their kids were straight because they perceive it to be easier on the child, not because they have a nimby attitude to sexuality.

strobe · 08-10-2011 05:42PM

Dave147 wrote: »

How many scumbags or criminals do you hear of or know that are gay, not very many, they just seem to almost always be nice people!

A bit off topic but Irish criminal PJ 'Psycho' Judge was gay and he used to get his kicks by smashing peoples teeth out with a claw hammer while they were held down. So was Ronnie Kray and he wasn't all that squeamish about breaking the odd law or stabbing someone through the face. Jeffrey Dahmer, Gwendolyn Gail Graham and Catherine Wood, Fritz Haarman, Aileen Wuornos....

An attitude of 'gay people are less likely to be criminals and more likely to be nice people' is just as ridiculous as negatively stereotyping homosexuals.

pragmatic1 · 08-10-2011 05:47PM

strobe wrote: »

A bit off topic but Irish criminal PJ 'Psycho' Judge was gay and he used to get his kicks by smashing peoples teeth out with a claw hammer while they were held down. So was Ronnie Kray and he wasn't all that squeamish about breaking the odd law or stabbing someone through the face. Jeffrey Dahmer, Gwendolyn Gail Graham and Catherine Wood, Fritz Haarman, Aileen Wuornos....

An attitude of 'gay people are less likely to be criminals and more likely to be nice people' is just as ridiculous as negatively stereotyping homosexuals.

Yeah you can add a fair few loyalist paramilitaries to that list too.

Mike 1972 · 08-10-2011 05:50PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Yeah you can add a fair few loyalist paramilitaries to that list too.

FYP !

Plautus · 08-10-2011 05:52PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Yeah you can add a fair few loyalist paramilitaries to that list too.

And possibly the one and only King Billy himself!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_III_of_England

During the 1690s rumours grew of William's alleged homosexual inclinations and led to the publication of many satirical pamphlets by his Jacobite detractors.[114] He did have several close, male associates, including two Dutch courtiers to whom he granted English titles: Hans Willem Bentinck became Earl of Portland, and Arnold Joost van Keppel was created Earl of Albemarle. These relationships with male friends, and his apparent lack of more than one female mistress, led William's enemies to suggest that he might prefer homosexual relationships. William's modern biographers, however, still disagree on the veracity of these allegations, with many contending that they were just figments of his enemies' imaginations,[115] and others suggesting there may have been some truth to the rumours.[116]

I never get tired of sniggering at the Bowler Hats when they go on a crusade about morals as a result (such as when they turned up outside the first civil partnership ceremony in the North a while back.)

Mike 1972 · 08-10-2011 05:58PM

Dunno why everyone the thread is being hijacked in order to simultaneously take a swipe at the sexual inclinations AND tolerence of themmuns its not as if Keith is about at the moment or that the widespread denouncment of the revelations regarding Roger Casement as Brit propaganda never took place............

Plautus wrote: »

his apparent lack of more than one female mistress, led William's enemies to suggest that he might prefer homosexual relationships

Just how many female mistresses is one required to have

How would you feel if your child was gay?

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