How would you feel if your child was gay?

hondasam wrote: »

Meaning what exactly, ghey parents have ghey kids, or ghey kids have ghey parents.

Meaning whatever is the cause of homosexuality, its likely it comes from either you or your partner.

Personally, if my child turned out to be gay, it would not in any way change the love I have for them in any way. But I cannot say that, given the choice, I would not wish for them to be straight. For many reasons. I have gay friends who say the same - that their life would be so much easier and straight forward if they were straight - particularly females and when it comes to having children etc. That's only their opinion of course and maybe not all gay people feel the same. Maybe it's more of a reflection on society and how gay people are viewed treated within it than anything else.

baz2009 wrote: »

Have to agree with the OP, I would be slightly disappointed. I'd still cherish them and love them all the same, but there would be a twinge of disappointment.

Ah Baz...

*wags finger*

hondasam wrote: »

I didn't know it was hereditary.

The two things people think it could be are nature or nurture. Whichever you believe, it would still have a quite a lot to do with the parents.

starbelgrade wrote: »

It's kind of ironic - people who worry about their kids being gay because they might be discriminated against, are in fact discriminating against them themselves.

Sure, they'll put it down to "wanting the best" for their child etc., but in reality, it's nothing more than a projection of their own insecurities & ignorance.

It doesn't really have anything to do about how others will view their kids, but more so about how they will feel about them. And in all essence, it's actually a form of homophobia, because, as with all phobias, it's an irrational fear of something - in this case, homosexuality.

Well it could be that they might fear the problems and difficulties that a child of theirs who happens to turn out to be homosexual may encounter.
Thankfully, as you alluded to in previous posts, discrimination of this kind, certainly in this part of the world, is lessening; but i wouldn't go so far as to say it's a moot point.
Of course, some may fear it for the exact reasons you point out: or other reasons particular to themselves.
As with most things, it's a broad church.

ascanbe wrote: »

Typical..bully the bully.
Why doesn't anyone look to try and understand why a bully is a bully?
Why does everyone come down on the bully when the bully is, in fact, clearly suffering from some kind of mental affliction?
Is everyone deemed worthy of understanding and kindness except those who find themselves in the unenviable/painful position of being a bully?

Absolute tosh.

What about cliques where it's easy for those to pick on others who are deemed weaker and different by their peers to fit in? Those poor, poor lambs.

When you have a bully causing phsycial and mental pain to another for personal gain to feed their egos and status in a group they don't deserve one bit of sympathy.

Don't cloud my post with the enigma that all bullies suffer from mental anguish and hurt just as much as those they cause suffering to. Alot do but the majority don't and eventually grow out of it when they grow a bit of cop on in themselves. I came across / grew up with people who went along with the mentality of their peers and it utterly sickened me when I saw them pick on the quiet / weaker / different people because they were easy targets.

I had to deal with these type of people myself. Ones who were once my good friends but then ditched me and others to fit it with who they thought were the hip & happening kids.

A bully shouldn't be bullied, nor should they be given hugs and kisses. They should be taught how the world really works and how their actions reflect on others in the long run. Utter bullshìt.

hondasam wrote: »

If I had a gay child then either me or the childs father would have to be gay.
All gay people have a gay parent

Are you messing? I really hope you are and I'm just being dozy cos it's AH and it's late.

hondasam wrote: »

If I had a gay child then either me or the childs father would have to be gay.
All gay people have a gay parent

No, it would either be in your genes somewhere (not necessarily meaning you or your partner are gay), or be strongly influences by your behaviour. Simples.

Well now... isn't this a depressing thread?

Especially if you're a gay kid on here looking around who hasn't come out to their parents yet!

As for the bullying thing. I came out when I was 17 to friends, family when I was 21. I have never once been bullied or discriminated against because I am a lesbian. Never.

I honestly do believe that parents who think that people will bully or discriminate against their kids are the exact same ones who would do that the other gay people, regardless of whether they admit that or not. The sheer fact of you saying "I'd be disappointed" means that you think there's something bad about being gay. The thread isn't titled "Would you be concerned for your childs welfare if they were gay?" which is what you have tried to reword it as. You said disappointed, OP. Disappointment means something wrong, like the child has failed.

I think the child has more of a right to be disappointed in you, as a parent.

Most parents will go through an "oh my God" phase when they find out, just because it's not expected. That's fine. Everyone who is gay goes through that same phase.

I plan on having children with my partner. I plan on raising them to respect everyone. I plan on raising them to understand that some people are mean, and some are lovely. I plan on raising them to be smart enough not to spout some ridiculous rhetoric about "well I don't have a problem with black people, but really, I'd be upset if you brought one home". That's pretty much what you're saying on here.