Read the book "Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes"

midlandsmissus · 03-10-2011 02:12PM

dollyk wrote: »

no no, she wasnt sexually abused in her home, her stepfather sold her for 5 woodbines to a man who sexually assaulted her.
Its the rest of her book, like the beatings, having not a lot of food, and been made miserable and afraid on a daily basis , thats what i thought was the norm growing up.

Then this may be a great eye opener for you, and help you learn and heal from issues in your past.

Like most people can't imagine what it's like to have a life growing up in supreme wealth in aristocracy, a lot of us can't imagine being beaten, having no food and having to steal on a daily basis. And it wasn't that he just sold her to a neighbour across the way for a couple of cigarettes, he also assaulted her.

I read Martha's book and I was completely shocked, one of the worst child abuse cases I thought I'd ever read, and yet to you it was a way of life. We normalise what we see around us.

This is an interesting social thread.

It reminds me of when I watched some show where Mel B had to go and live with a family on benefits for a week, and budget their money for them accordingly.

I was on an internet discussion forum afterwards and there were people saying "I can't believe the conditions those people in, that these conditions exist in this day and age." (They were living on a massive council estate, about six people in one up, one down house, kids playing on council estate all day.) It did look a poverty stricken area to my eyes.

Then right below that were comments saying "Sure that's not poor there's loads of people living around me in houses just like that"

When you grow up and it's all you see how could you know any different? Good luck I'm sure it was a bit of a shock realising you lived through some extreme times, take care.

Dudess · 03-10-2011 02:33PM

No doubt there were geniuses who remarked on how "loaded" those on benefits are.

looksee wrote: »

You can always look back and say - that was wrong, why did I not complain/object etc. And the answer is often that times were different. That does not make it right to abuse children of course. But things were not reported, there was not the available authority to report to. There was not the overwhelming amount of information available that there is today about rights and where to go for help.

I have no doubt at all that things are happening today that in 40 years time people will say - why was that allowed? And the answer is that public opinion has to catch up with issues.

Yep. Doesn't stop today's "ordinary people should have or could have done this, that and the other" scapegoatery unfortunately though...

Giselle wrote: »

I can understand why someone would want to write a book like that, assuming their memories are accurate, as a means of excising or exorcising the bad memories.

I don't understand is reading them. Paying money to read what seems to be absolute horror, made worse by it supposedly (in many cases of misery lit, the main protagonists are dead and its written many years later, making it hard to verify) being true.

I read for entertainment or information. How can it possibly be entertaining to read about graphic abuse? What do you learn from it? What does anyone get from it?

I suppose that the person who wants that voyeuristic look into someone elses private hell is the same person who slows down to look at a car crash, or stands around watching while someone has a heart attack in public.

Yeah, misery porn. I don't understand the appeal of reading about such horror - but then again, morbid curiosity is quite a human thing.

I started watching the film The Colour Purple the other night - horrific, had to switch it off. It's about poor black people in the Deep South in the early 1900s - rape, incest, physical abuse, slave-like treatment... and it occurred to me: similar **** was happening in Ireland not even as long ago as the era in which that movie is set... :-/

Snakeblood · 03-10-2011 02:40PM

Dudess wrote: »

I started watching the film The Colour Purple the other night - horrific, had to switch it off.

Yeah, I hate Whoopi Goldberg too. :mad:

Sky King · 03-10-2011 02:45PM

At first I read read as read.

Put an I before read in the thread title to avoid further confusion.

marty1985 · 03-10-2011 02:48PM

I have respect for anyone who writes a book, especially about their own past as it's far from easy, and the fear of the book being rejected is tough. Excepting of course, ego-inflated celebrities. That usually doesn't count as a book in my view.

sbsquarepants · 03-10-2011 02:58PM

Sky King wrote: »

At first I read read as read.
.

I can see how that must have been confusing!

marty1985 · 03-10-2011 03:14PM

I guess it's just like the confusion between Redz and Read's in Dublin. Can't understand why those two are not locked in a high court battle.

mud · 03-10-2011 05:04PM

dollyk wrote: »

no no, she wasnt sexually abused in her home, her stepfather sold her for 5 woodbines to a man who sexually assaulted her.
Its the rest of her book, like the beatings, having not a lot of food, and been made miserable and afraid on a daily basis , thats what i thought was the norm growing up.

I have read the book. Forgive me for assuming (by the way you have commented throughout this thread) that you were referring to the fact that EVERYONE growing up in that era was sexually abused, no matter who the abusing was done by.

Yes, times were incredibly hard back then, my parents grew up in those times and we have spoken at length about their day to day lives and the difference between then and now.

I think it's a good thing that books are written to document times that otherwise would be forgotten. It is part of how we progress as a society and how issues are brought to the public eye and how transparency is achieved.

Read the book "Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes"

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