Read the book "Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes"

dollyk

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

El Guapo!

Jealous much?

CarMe

Does it bother you that you didn't write it? Not sure what your point is

mackg

Lots of people didn't grow up in poverty in the 60s maybe they might want to read about it.

CarMe

Also, if you could have written it I do hope you seek counsilling as it is most certainly not the norm to be sexually abused etc

Stained Class

I hope they were decent fags.

Not Woodbines, non-tipped Players or suchlike...

The Snipe

Why do people write books about anything?!?! Because my friend.. They like to take the piss out of us Dyslexics!

Killer Pigeon

I read your ma ... yeah.

dollyk

mackg wrote: »

Lots of people didn't grow up in poverty in the 60s maybe they might want to read about it.

I really grew up thinking everyone did.

Cianos

dollyk wrote: »

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

Given that she sold a book to many, including someone who was apparently able to write the same book word for word, it was probably a good decision to write the book.

dollyk

CarMe wrote: »

Does it bother you that you didn't write it? Not sure what your point is

My point is i believed it was the same for everyone at that time.
I know different now, but we just got on with it as we knew nothing else .?

westendgirlie

What's the book called?

CarMe

dollyk wrote: »

CarMe wrote: »

Does it bother you that you didn't write it? Not sure what your point is

My point is i believed it was the same for everyone at that time.
I know different now, but we just got on with it as we knew nothing else .?

Sorry I still don't understand your actual point? Is it that it's a mundane thing to write about in your opinion?

dollyk

CarMe wrote: »

Does it bother you that you didn't write it? Not sure what your point is

My point is i thought it was the same for everyone, and until i read this book and seen how other people see it, it was far from the norm.

magma69

It annoys me that the past and present tense of the verb "read" is spelled the same.

dollyk

CarMe wrote: »

Sorry I still don't understand your actual point? Is it that it's a mundane thing to write about in your opinion?

yes im sorry but thats my point. That was my life and i just dealth with it.

Dodd

dollyk wrote: »

I really grew up thinking everyone did.

I don't know about the book but people worked for the better off as we do now.
So there were many rich people as there still is in Ireland now.
I will have to check this book out.

MrStuffins

dollyk wrote: »

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

Same reason everyone does everything? Same reason George Hook does ads for Sky +........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QINzmRPfMCU

CarMe

dollyk wrote: »

CarMe wrote: »

Does it bother you that you didn't write it? Not sure what your point is

My point is i thought it was the same for everyone, and until i read this book and seen how other people see it, it was far from the norm.

But has life since then and tv etc not made you realise that? Sorry if I'm coming off as stupid I'm just trying to understand.

Where To

Is this another shinner thread?

Cianos

dollyk wrote: »

My point is i believed it was the same for everyone at that time.
I know different now, but we just got on with it as we knew nothing else .?

Mundane lives are most often led by the middle classes...you don't read much about people growing up in comfortable, sedate environments. Maybe in some ways you should be proud of the book.

up for anything

dollyk wrote: »

So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

Maybe writing the book proved cathartic for her and helped her work out her emotions concerning the events she lived through. Is that not a good enough reason?

You're not coming across as hard but you do sound like you have a good, old-fashioned dose of begrudgery.

dollyk

magma69 wrote: »

It annoys me that the past and present tense of the verb "read" is spelled the same.

ok mags i read this book lately, and although as i said im not knocking her.
My family of 14 went through the same thing. and we all came out ok. Im just saying i thought it was the same for all kids , but i realise now it wasnt.:(

dollyk

up for anything wrote: »

Maybe writing the book proved cathartic for her and helped her work out her emotions concerning the events she lived through. Is that not a good enough reason?

You're not coming across as hard but you do sound like you have a good, old-fashioned dose of begrudgery.

ok so sorry if im coming across as hard, im not really, but with all my family and friends it was just a way of life.
I suppose im shocked at how many were moved by her story , when i lived the same and thought it was normal....

Lone Stone

dollyk wrote: »

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

If the women who wrote the book wants to express herself about how crap her life was she has every right to, You sound like the type of person who is bitter towards anyone from your background for trying to achieve something with their life. Trying to belittle some one for writing a book is a bit pathetic if you think its so simple go ahead and try it.

Logical Fallacy

dollyk wrote: »

ok mags i read this book lately, and although as i said im not knocking her.
My family of 14 went through the same thing. and we all came out ok. Im just saying i thought it was the same for all kids , but i realise now it wasnt.:(

I'm not entirely sure what your point is...you thought everyone in Ireland was poor in the 60's?

In fairness, a lot were, but many were not.

dollyk

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

I'm not entirely sure what your point is...you thought everyone in Ireland was poor in the 60's?

In fairness, a lot were, but many were not.

yes i did think that.

Dodd

Lone Stone wrote: »

If the women who wrote the book wants to express herself about how crap her life was she has every right to, You sound like the type of person who is bitter towards anyone from your background for trying to achieve something with their life. Trying to belittle some one for writing a book is a bit pathetic if you think its so simple go ahead and try it.

I think you are going a bit far there.
The OP is saying why write a book about a normal life as it was back then IMO.
No need to get all like you do it then.

dollyk

Lone Stone wrote: »

If the women who wrote the book wants to express herself about how crap her life was she has every right to, You sound like the type of person who is bitter towards anyone from your background for trying to achieve something with their life. Trying to belittle some one for writing a book is a bit pathetic if you think its so simple go ahead and try it.

Im far from bitter, I just didnt realise that it was a big deal at the time.
I lived that life and came out at the other end, so did a lot of my friends.
Im just astounded that many people didnt go through this in life..

mackg

dollyk wrote: »

I really grew up thinking everyone did.

I grew up in the 80/90s :pac::pac:

westendgirlie

What's the book about? Did she really get sold for a packet of fags?

Logical Fallacy

westendgirlie wrote: »

What's the book about? Did she really get sold for a packet of fags?

Yeah.

In a west end town and a dead end world.

Dodd

mackg wrote: »

I grew up in the 80/90s :pac::pac:

And you were born in the 50's.:)

westendgirlie

Its a scandal scandal

Namlub

I've heard about that book before, I thought it was a joke?

dollyk

westendgirlie wrote: »

What's the book about? Did she really get sold for a packet of fags?

yes her stepdad got 5 woodbines off a man who sexually abused her.

Dodd

westendgirlie wrote: »

What's the book about? Did she really get sold for a packet of fags?

I think she was sold to work and the pay was fags.I'm not sure though.

westendgirlie

dollyk wrote: »

yes her stepdad got 5 woodbines off a man who sexually abused her.

Jeez! And are you saying this was the norm for you and all others where you lived?

rainbowdrop

When you grow up in a fairly well off household, you don't realise that other people have grown up in houses where there was never enough food/money is what the OP is trying to say (I think). If you grew up seeing your Dad drink his wages every Friday and then came home and kick the shit out of his wife, you will think this is normal. You wouldn't realise that this is not normal. Everyone's childhoods are different.

I just finished reading that book a few weeks ago, a very good read. Maybe a lot of people did have crappy childhood, but Martha Long (the author) managed to write about it. How many of us could write a book? Not many I bet!!

PS - I'm finished with my copy of the book OP is talking about, if anyone wants it, they are welcome to have it, just send me a PM........

westendgirlie

dollyk wrote: »

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

This was your opening post. I can't relate to child abuse. If I asked my parents sure they couldnt either. That's not the NORM in any decade

du Maurier

dollyk wrote: »

ok so read the book , and realised the girl lived on my road.
Now im not knocking her, but i could have wrote the same book word for word.
What im saying is . That was life for most of us in the 60s.
And for the most of us it was the "NORM"
So why write a book , it was life in poverty Ireland at the time.
Can anyone else relate to this, or am i just being hard.

But you didn't. Gotta love this type of attitude. It's reminds me of a story I heard a number of years ago where some aul fella penned a book on the history of some rural village he lived in. The book was received really well and he probably earned a nice few bob for it and a positive reputation to boot.

But all that was ever mentioned in relation to his success was an attitude like the above by disgruntled old sconers who knew him assuring anyone that would listen 'Sure, anyone could have written that'!

dollyk

rainbowdrop wrote: »

When you grow up in a fairly well off household, you don't realise that other people have grown up in houses where there was never enough food/money is what the OP is trying to say (I think). If you grew up seeing your Dad drink his wages every Friday and then came home and kick the shit out of his wife, you will think this is normal. You wouldn't realise that this is not normal. Everyone's childhoods are different.

I just finished reading that book a few weeks ago, a very good read. Maybe a lot of people did have crappy childhood, but Martha Long (the author) managed to write about it. How many of us could write a book? Not many I bet!!

PS - I'm finished with my copy of the book OP is talking about, if anyone wants it, they are welcome to have it, just send me a PM........

thank you xx

westendgirlie

I'm feeling a bit sick reading this thread. I'm really sorry you went through what you did. **** I dunno what to say. An entire road??? Surely the abusers are still alive and should be imprisoned for what they done to you all?

mrsdewinter

Hi OP. I take on board what you're saying, that the book covers terrain which was widely known 45 years ago. I think the point some of the others are trying to make is: Because so many of us grew up in a 'different' Ireland, perhaps this book is a way of ensuring nobody forgets how harsh life could get in a country where the Catholic church maintained such a grip.

Dodd

westendgirlie wrote: »

This was your opening post. I can't relate to child abuse. If I asked my parents sure they couldnt either. That's not the NORM in any decade

Yes but priest abuse was not normal either but it did happen a lot then.
Times were different then when people get away with this sort of thing.
The man of the house was the boss at home.

westendgirlie

Well it puts my silly problems into perspective.

Standard Toaster

Try telling that to the kids of today!! :mad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

looksee

I have been lucky in that, while I grew up in a working class household, I have never been deliberately mistreated. However I do think you have to move on with your life.

You can always look back and say - that was wrong, why did I not complain/object etc. And the answer is often that times were different. That does not make it right to abuse children of course. But things were not reported, there was not the available authority to report to. There was not the overwhelming amount of information available that there is today about rights and where to go for help.

I have no doubt at all that things are happening today that in 40 years time people will say - why was that allowed? And the answer is that public opinion has to catch up with issues.

Maybe in another 40 years time people will say - how is it that people (in 2011) were allowed to keep having children that they could not afford to educate, or there were no jobs for?

There are several issues in that sentence that we take for granted - people are entitled/don't need permission to have children, education is free, people can choose where and whether to work. But in 40 years time possibly some of these will be impossible for people to understand. Certainly if it was suggested now that the number of children a person could have should be limited it would be seen as a ridiculous and impossible concept.

In the same way, 40 or 50 years ago it was pretty well impossible to interfere with a family and how children were reared. Adults had authority, and some adults - clergy, teachers, police had total authority. Children were the responsibility of their parents, and if the parents did not look after them, well that was the way it was.

By today's standards it was wrong, but at the time, again, that is just how it was.

chucken1

looksee wrote: »

I have been lucky in that, while I grew up in a working class household, I have never been deliberately mistreated. However I do think you have to move on with your life.

The book obviously triggered memories with the OP,If you have never been in the situation,thats a very hard thing to understand. You may have been 'moving on' but the smallest thing can bring back absolute horror!

OutlawPete

The OP has a point in fairness.

Take ..

It was the best of the times, it was the worst of times'.

Sure I could have wrote that.

Karona

I have read the book and thought it was amazing. I grew up in the 80's/ early 90's. It's an insight for younger people to actually see the hardships of what a family went through back then, especially when an illegitimate child is conceived.

So OP i can see where you are coming from, but don't be so hard on the author, I think she just wanted people to see what she had to go through in her life and how she came out the other end.