Piddling on the Seat (and around it)

Liam Byrne · 06-09-2011 10:24AM

not yet wrote: »

Prefer to piss in a class and pour it down the jacks......no mistakes.

That'd be what, Senior Infants ?

Gillington · 06-09-2011 10:25AM

I know a lad who thought the seat was a funnel for piss to go in the bowl so always aimed for it!

Irish Slaves for Europe · 06-09-2011 12:18PM

Can any man piss into the toilet without hitting the seat??? I've never in my life managed that, when the first stream of piss comes out you never really know exactly what projectory it will take, if your aim is off by a fraction then you are going to hit the seat. Then at the end when the last few dribbles are coming out and you are shaking your cock as well, impossible not to get at least a few specks of piss on the seat.

They should invent a tube which extends up from the toilet and which you just put your cock into and piss away without fear of hitting the seat. Or else just make toilets two feet higher.

W.Shakes-Beer · 06-09-2011 12:20PM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Tell us more, like where does he whizz?

In the pockets of coats in a wardrobe kind of stuff or on random fixed appliances like computer keyboards an' stuff?

Mate of mine 'captured ' a firm log, encased her in jax paper and popped her into the pocket of a fur coat in the cloakroom .:eek:

I'm sure there was consternation.

While "pocket pudding" definitely overshadows piss, my mate kept his waste confined to the cubicle, giving the walls and floor a pungent golden shower.

LaVail · 06-09-2011 12:37PM

Whatever about men I've known more than a few women who like nothing more then to hover a couple inches above the bowl and proceed to power wash the entire toilet and adjacent area. It must be because their fanny's are as loose as a wizards sleeve, right?

kfallon · 06-09-2011 12:42PM

Irish Slaves for Europe wrote: »

They should invent a tube which extends up from the toilet and which you just put your cock into and piss away without fear of hitting the seat. Or else just make toilets two feet higher.

You could always have a "lazy man's" piss and sit down :pac:

CongressTart · 06-09-2011 01:10PM

LaVail wrote: »

Whatever about men I've known more than a few women who like nothing more then to hover a couple inches above the bowl and proceed to power wash the entire toilet and adjacent area. It must be because their fanny's are as loose as a wizards sleeve, right?

Yes. Or weak thighs. They need to do more squat jumps!

CongressTart · 06-09-2011 01:12PM

Insurgent wrote: »

I'm trying to write a question to this but all I can come up with is

Well it wasn't dried in, still very wet. Fresh.

bowsie010 · 06-09-2011 01:39PM

CONGRESS TART!!

Degag · 06-09-2011 01:53PM

I was out Saturday night and there was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He was pissed alright, but he was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker. There's a difference between someone doing it accidentaly and on purpose. Was once standing next to a guy who was pissing directly onto his shoe!

kfallon · 06-09-2011 01:58PM

Degag wrote: »

I was out Saturday night and there was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He was pissed alright, but he was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker. There's a difference between someone doing it accidentaly and on purpose. Was once standing next to a guy who was pissing directly onto his shoe!

I stayed in on Saturday night, just saying before the Piss Police come round questioning me!

kfallon · 06-09-2011 02:00PM

Degag wrote: »

I was out of it on Saturday night and there I was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He I was pissed alright, but he I was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker.

FYP :pac:

CongressTart · 06-09-2011 02:03PM

bowsie010 wrote: »

CONGRESS TART!!

You know it

jonnyfingers · 06-09-2011 02:08PM

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

gigawatt · 06-09-2011 02:23PM

Fulton Crown wrote: »

Interesting !

Seems this practice is more widespread (pardon the pun) than realised.

A quirky mate of mine specialises in what he calls "stealth bombs".

That is surrepticiously soaking piss into any available fabric covered furniture ....an then covering it with cushions etc.

Awards himself "points" for each successful "emission" with ironing boards for some reason being a specially favoured target.

Don't know why he does it.....durty cnunt ......

OMG thats disgusting...why??...... what a dirtbag.. shudders

gigawatt · 06-09-2011 02:36PM

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

no, not the same at all. manky enough but not in the same class as giving the toilet seat a drenching.
as a woman there is nothing worse than being ambushed in a half asleep state at 3am by a pissy toilet seat.
I think pissy toilet seats may have been the catalyst for many 'woman goes nuts' type of murder cases.
seriously lads, the seat has a width of a couple of inches and encircles the bowl.
the bowl is about a foot across.............. if bad aim is the issue here how the fk do you manage to piss ALL OVER the seat which is tiny in comparison to the bowl!??

jonnyfingers · 06-09-2011 02:41PM

gigawatt wrote: »

no, not the same at all. manky enough but not in the same class as giving the toilet seat a drenching.
as a woman there is nothing worse than being ambushed in a half asleep state at 3am by a pissy toilet seat.
I think pissy toilet seats may have been the catalyst for many 'woman goes nuts' type of murder cases.
seriously lads, the seat has a width of a couple of inches and encircles the bowl.
the bowl is about a foot across.............. if bad aim is the issue here how the fk do you manage to piss ALL OVER the seat which is tiny in comparison to the bowl!??

As has been explained before it's not the aim which is the problem, it's the calibration of the aim in the first moments and the lack of pressure in the last moments. I've had times where I've aimed directly at the bulls-eye and missed the toilet completely. Our circumcised brethren probably don't experience this as the foreskin is usually to blame for the initial randomness of the stream. It's also responsible for some random spray mid-pee.

Then at the last moments when the pressure is not there you have to carefully lean further in or else drops could land on the bowl.

But even so the toilet seat should always be up and you should always wipe up the mess afterwards. I sometimes challenge myself to pee with the toilet seat down and not get any pee on the seat. I have failed every time. One day I may succeed...............

Degag · 06-09-2011 02:52PM

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

A woman will still have to clean it though.... and hence complain.

pickarooney · 06-09-2011 02:55PM

jonnyfingers wrote: »

As has been explained before it's not the aim which is the problem, it's the calibration of the aim in the first moments and the lack of pressure in the last moments. I've had times where I've aimed directly at the bulls-eye and missed the toilet completely. Our circumcised brethren probably don't experience this as the foreskin is usually to blame for the initial randomness of the stream. It's also responsible for some random spray mid-pee.

Then at the last moments when the pressure is not there you have to carefully lean further in or else drops could land on the bowl.

But even so the toilet seat should always be up and you should always wipe up the mess afterwards. I sometimes challenge myself to pee with the toilet seat down and not get any pee on the seat. I have failed every time. One day I may succeed...............

Lift the ****ing thing up and then wip the rim when you're done. How do you manage to breathe and dress yourself?

DevilsBreath · 06-09-2011 03:00PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Lift the ****ing thing up and then wip the rim when you're done. How do you manage to breathe and dress yourself?

You Didn't read his post did you.

jonnyfingers · 06-09-2011 03:00PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Lift the ****ing thing up and then wip the rim when you're done. How do you manage to breathe and dress yourself?

Read the first line in the third paragraph again. I say exactly what you just said. :rolleyes:

Lady Chuckles · 06-09-2011 03:02PM

Potty train or sit down, that's what I say

kowloon · 06-09-2011 04:13PM

The problem seems to be 'zeroing in' the initial blast. I've come up with what I believe is a simple and cost effective solution.

pickarooney · 06-09-2011 04:59PM

DevilsBreath wrote: »

You Didn't read his post did you.

I did not.

ejmaztec · 06-09-2011 05:03PM

I like to remember my schooldays by seeing how high I can piss up the wall.

FlutterinBantam · 06-09-2011 06:21PM

kfallon wrote: »

Sounds like there was anything but if he got a log out that easy :pac:

You are not mixing it up with constipation... no ...couldn't happen...no Flutther, don't even think that.

:eek:

Saila · 06-09-2011 06:31PM

Sky King wrote: »

My point is that if it was at a party then there was probably guys pissing all over the place in there all night, and it was a cumulative effect.

you lift the seat and piss usually, but if there is piss all over it already you will just leave it where it is and piss all over it

kfallon · 06-09-2011 06:32PM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

You are not mixing it up with constipation... no ...couldn't happen...no Flutther, don't even think that.

:eek:

Just a lil bit of comedic expression used there

FlutterinBantam · 06-09-2011 06:39PM

kfallon wrote: »

Just a lil bit of comedic expression used there

Jaysus K thank God for that.

(bit laboured though ,wasn't it

)

:cool:

Sergeant · 06-09-2011 07:06PM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Jaysus K thank God for that.

(bit laboured though ,wasn't it)

:cool:

You weren't at a house party up in Swords about a year ago? Party was going well, plenty of food, drink, and interesting company. Selection of continental cheeses and everything.

Suddenly someone started complaining about a wretched bang of shíte that was emerging from the hall. Party quickly dispelled.

The hosts rang me the next day to say that they had discovered a baton wrapped in a pair of Penny's y-fronts left behind the cylinder in the hot press.

Never found out the animal that did it.

Piddling on the Seat (and around it)

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