Piddling on the Seat (and around it)

CongressTart

Just wondering what you think of lads who can't get it into the bowl. Does anyone else think it is because their John Thomas's are too small to control. Or is it that they are too big? Or just completely alcohol related?
I used the jacks after a lad at a party on Saturday. There was piddle everywhere it was like he was after chasing a fly around the seat. Put me right off him it did.

Sky King

It mightn't have been him OP.

Sometimes you need a quick spurt at the start to calibrate your aim, then the rest goes in the bowl, except for a few dribbles at the end if you;re not standing directly over.

Alcohol intake and it not being your jacks affects this calibration shot.

CongressTart

Hmmm. Well maybe there was a hovering female in before him. Perhaps she was responsible for the mess but I don't think so.

My name is URL

John Thomas, Lary Langer, Tony Tiddler

Never heard of any of them

Sky King

My point is that if it was at a party then there was probably guys pissing all over the place in there all night, and it was a cumulative effect.

not yet

Prefer to piss in a class and pour it down the jacks......no mistakes.

CongressTart

My name is URL wrote: »

John Thomas, Lary Langer, Tony Tiddler

Never heard of any of them

They are your friend

Sky King wrote: »

My point is that if it was at a party then there was probably guys pissing all over the place in there all night, and it was a cumulative effect.

Not necessarily as there were girls there too and they most likely wiped the seat to sit down. (or hovered)
But this piss looked very fresh now. Probably didn't even wash his hands the dirty fecker.

Overheal

Dry tip...

Sky King

So the jacks was... blasted with piss, is that what you're saying?

FatherLen

are you 5 years old?

CongressTart

Yes, you could say that. And what better place to blast with piss than the jacks.

The bowl, I suppose.

CongressTart

FatherLen wrote: »

are you 5 years old?

Would that make me attractive to you?

BBDBB

someones overtired

FlutterinBantam

Hang your bulb over the rim of the sink,problem solved.

Few quick sideways bangs off the taps shakes her clear... simples.

BBDBB

CongressTart wrote: »

Just wondering what you think of lads who can't get it into the bowl. Does anyone else think it is because their John Thomas's are too small to control. Or is it that they are too big? Or just completely alcohol related?
I used the jacks after a lad at a party on Saturday. There was piddle everywhere it was like he was after chasing a fly around the seat. Put me right off him it did.

sounds like he dodged a bullet with that one

FatherLen

CongressTart wrote: »

Would that make me attractive to you?

wut?





http://images.wikia.com/wikiality/images/8/89/Pl-pedo-bear.png

Ghandee

maybe it was hank.

Skip to about 3.40 mins into the clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pElJ3yWUVMY

AG2R

Just wipe the ****ing toilet,yeah its not your piss but nothing a bit of soap and water wont fix, jesus the world has gone mad.

Pace2008

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Hang your bulb over the rim of the sink,problem solved.

Few quick sideways bangs off the taps shakes her clear... simples.

This is the way forward, and numerous polls on Boards have attested to this.

jaffacakesyum

This is something I never get about men! Surely it's not THAT hard to aim? I suppose, "no penis, no comment" But still, come on like??

Taco Corp

CongressTart wrote: »

Just wondering what you think of lads who can't get it into the bowl. Does anyone else think it is because their John Thomas's are too small to control. Or is it that they are too big? Or just completely alcohol related?
I used the jacks after a lad at a party on Saturday. There was piddle everywhere it was like he was after chasing a fly around the seat. Put me right off him it did.

The question is, did you clean it up or leave it for the next person to think that you pissed all over the seat?

BBDBB

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

This is something I never get about men! Surely it's not THAT hard to aim? I suppose, "no penis, no comment" But still, come on like??

I bet you havent even tried to hold one and aim it have you

tsk typical back seat piddler

W.Shakes-Beer

A mate of mine has this thing that when he goes to a large social event he feels its his duty to deliberately piss everywhere bar the jax.

Kinda nasty.

FlutterinBantam

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

A mate of mine has this thing that when he goes to a large social event he feels its his duty to deliberately piss everywhere bar the jax.

Kinda nasty.

Tell us more, like where does he whizz?

In the pockets of coats in a wardrobe kind of stuff or on random fixed appliances like computer keyboards an' stuff?

Mate of mine 'captured ' a firm log, encased her in jax paper and popped her into the pocket of a fur coat in the cloakroom .:eek:

I'm sure there was consternation.

petes

CongressTart wrote: »

But this piss looked very fresh now.

I'm trying to write a question to this but all I can come up with is

Fulton Crown

Interesting !

Seems this practice is more widespread (pardon the pun) than realised.

A quirky mate of mine specialises in what he calls "stealth bombs".

That is surrepticiously soaking piss into any available fabric covered furniture ....an then covering it with cushions etc.

Awards himself "points" for each successful "emission" with ironing boards for some reason being a specially favoured target.

Don't know why he does it.....durty cnunt ......

WinstonOno

maybe he was cleaning the seat for you, who said chivalry is dead

stovelid

It's f+cking vile. Some men in work (supposedly educated professionals) even do it.

Just wipe the seat down if you are incapable of aiming a piss properly.

Even my kid can do it.

KTRIC

I know a certain female not far off 30 years old that still can't manage to pee in the bowl without making a mess. :eek:

stovelid

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

A mate of mine has this thing that when he goes to a large social event he feels its his duty to deliberately piss everywhere bar the jax.

Kinda nasty.

Kinda retarded, more like.

kfallon

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Tell us more, like where does he whizz?

In the pockets of coats in a wardrobe kind of stuff or on random fixed appliances like computer keyboards an' stuff?

Mate of mine 'captured ' a firm log, encased her in jax paper and popped her into the pocket of a fur coat in the cloakroom .:eek:

I'm sure there was consternation.

Sounds like there was anything but if he got a log out that easy :pac:

Liam Byrne

not yet wrote: »

Prefer to piss in a class and pour it down the jacks......no mistakes.

That'd be what, Senior Infants ?

Gillington

I know a lad who thought the seat was a funnel for piss to go in the bowl so always aimed for it!

Irish Slaves for Europe

Can any man piss into the toilet without hitting the seat??? I've never in my life managed that, when the first stream of piss comes out you never really know exactly what projectory it will take, if your aim is off by a fraction then you are going to hit the seat. Then at the end when the last few dribbles are coming out and you are shaking your cock as well, impossible not to get at least a few specks of piss on the seat.

They should invent a tube which extends up from the toilet and which you just put your cock into and piss away without fear of hitting the seat. Or else just make toilets two feet higher.

W.Shakes-Beer

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Tell us more, like where does he whizz?

In the pockets of coats in a wardrobe kind of stuff or on random fixed appliances like computer keyboards an' stuff?

Mate of mine 'captured ' a firm log, encased her in jax paper and popped her into the pocket of a fur coat in the cloakroom .:eek:

I'm sure there was consternation.

While "pocket pudding" definitely overshadows piss, my mate kept his waste confined to the cubicle, giving the walls and floor a pungent golden shower.

LaVail

Whatever about men I've known more than a few women who like nothing more then to hover a couple inches above the bowl and proceed to power wash the entire toilet and adjacent area. It must be because their fanny's are as loose as a wizards sleeve, right?

kfallon

Irish Slaves for Europe wrote: »

They should invent a tube which extends up from the toilet and which you just put your cock into and piss away without fear of hitting the seat. Or else just make toilets two feet higher.

You could always have a "lazy man's" piss and sit down :pac:

CongressTart

LaVail wrote: »

Whatever about men I've known more than a few women who like nothing more then to hover a couple inches above the bowl and proceed to power wash the entire toilet and adjacent area. It must be because their fanny's are as loose as a wizards sleeve, right?

Yes. Or weak thighs. They need to do more squat jumps!

CongressTart

Insurgent wrote: »

I'm trying to write a question to this but all I can come up with is

Well it wasn't dried in, still very wet. Fresh.

bowsie010

CONGRESS TART!!

Degag

I was out Saturday night and there was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He was pissed alright, but he was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker. There's a difference between someone doing it accidentaly and on purpose. Was once standing next to a guy who was pissing directly onto his shoe!

kfallon

Degag wrote: »

I was out Saturday night and there was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He was pissed alright, but he was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker. There's a difference between someone doing it accidentaly and on purpose. Was once standing next to a guy who was pissing directly onto his shoe!

I stayed in on Saturday night, just saying before the Piss Police come round questioning me!

kfallon

Degag wrote: »

I was out of it on Saturday night and there I was this guy at the urinals who was deliberately pissing all over the floor and the wall. He I was pissed alright, but he I was doing it on purpose. Stupid fcuker.

FYP :pac:

CongressTart

bowsie010 wrote: »

CONGRESS TART!!

You know it

jonnyfingers

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

gigawatt

Fulton Crown wrote: »

Interesting !

Seems this practice is more widespread (pardon the pun) than realised.

A quirky mate of mine specialises in what he calls "stealth bombs".

That is surrepticiously soaking piss into any available fabric covered furniture ....an then covering it with cushions etc.

Awards himself "points" for each successful "emission" with ironing boards for some reason being a specially favoured target.

Don't know why he does it.....durty cnunt ......

OMG thats disgusting...why??...... what a dirtbag.. shudders

gigawatt

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

no, not the same at all. manky enough but not in the same class as giving the toilet seat a drenching.
as a woman there is nothing worse than being ambushed in a half asleep state at 3am by a pissy toilet seat.
I think pissy toilet seats may have been the catalyst for many 'woman goes nuts' type of murder cases.
seriously lads, the seat has a width of a couple of inches and encircles the bowl.
the bowl is about a foot across.............. if bad aim is the issue here how the fk do you manage to piss ALL OVER the seat which is tiny in comparison to the bowl!??

jonnyfingers

gigawatt wrote: »

no, not the same at all. manky enough but not in the same class as giving the toilet seat a drenching.
as a woman there is nothing worse than being ambushed in a half asleep state at 3am by a pissy toilet seat.
I think pissy toilet seats may have been the catalyst for many 'woman goes nuts' type of murder cases.
seriously lads, the seat has a width of a couple of inches and encircles the bowl.
the bowl is about a foot across.............. if bad aim is the issue here how the fk do you manage to piss ALL OVER the seat which is tiny in comparison to the bowl!??

As has been explained before it's not the aim which is the problem, it's the calibration of the aim in the first moments and the lack of pressure in the last moments. I've had times where I've aimed directly at the bulls-eye and missed the toilet completely. Our circumcised brethren probably don't experience this as the foreskin is usually to blame for the initial randomness of the stream. It's also responsible for some random spray mid-pee.

Then at the last moments when the pressure is not there you have to carefully lean further in or else drops could land on the bowl.

But even so the toilet seat should always be up and you should always wipe up the mess afterwards. I sometimes challenge myself to pee with the toilet seat down and not get any pee on the seat. I have failed every time. One day I may succeed...............

Degag

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Is pissing on the seat the same as pissing on the edge of the bowl with the seat up? In that latter case I just put the seat down again to cover it and all is well with the world once more.

A woman will still have to clean it though.... and hence complain.

pickarooney

jonnyfingers wrote: »

As has been explained before it's not the aim which is the problem, it's the calibration of the aim in the first moments and the lack of pressure in the last moments. I've had times where I've aimed directly at the bulls-eye and missed the toilet completely. Our circumcised brethren probably don't experience this as the foreskin is usually to blame for the initial randomness of the stream. It's also responsible for some random spray mid-pee.

Then at the last moments when the pressure is not there you have to carefully lean further in or else drops could land on the bowl.

But even so the toilet seat should always be up and you should always wipe up the mess afterwards. I sometimes challenge myself to pee with the toilet seat down and not get any pee on the seat. I have failed every time. One day I may succeed...............

Lift the ****ing thing up and then wip the rim when you're done. How do you manage to breathe and dress yourself?

DevilsBreath

pickarooney wrote: »

Lift the ****ing thing up and then wip the rim when you're done. How do you manage to breathe and dress yourself?

You Didn't read his post did you.