What to do if you're bad with women

Marty McFly · 04-09-2011 11:01PM

chicken fingers wrote: »

Ok great post, very condescending.
The thing is that people all have different values.
You might value hippie stuff like not harming animals, others have different values. To present yours as "wisdom" and mine as inexperience is your choice, but it doesn't necessarily make you correct.

I'm 28, I've been to more countries than most people can name.
I have a good job that does benefit the worst of the worst-off people in the world, (I also earn well and so does the big evil corp I work for, oh no!).

Its cute how you think that we're all equal and everybody has a wonderful spirit. I don't agree, but thats fine, we can have differing views, I don't have to tell you that I am right and you're wrong. I can accept that we differ.

I know powerful, social people, people who do more good for the world with harsh words and tough actions, but ultimately are a force of "good", winners.
I also know lazy, lonely, unsociable, unemployable, unskilled people who have little real potential in life.

To me, those are the losers.
Yeah they might love their kids, but they're losers.
The guys who can't talk to a woman? Losers.
Theres around 3.5 billion women walking around, and some people can only communicate properly with their female family members.
Sorry, but they lose at life. They let norms and quirks of society prevent them from developing a personality that can allow them to effectively communicate with 50% of the population.

Its nice to pretend that the world is all love and happiness, and that if you dont harm a man or an animal then you're a winner. However, to me, that stinks of massive inexperience of the world.

Have you ever seen a child die?
Ever seen somebody blow themselves up?
Ever been hungry and not eaten for 3 or 4 days for want of food? (still dont want to kill an animal?)
Have you ever made a decision that has saved (or dammed) lives?
Ever seen a man kill another man over food worth less than a quarter?

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

Bit of a dick arent yeh really:rolleyes:

You make me think of this or these type

A Primal Nut · 04-09-2011 11:02PM

chicken fingers wrote: »

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

So unless people have your amazing, adventurous job they are losers? I also travel the world with my job but I'm not smug about it. People find there own ways to have fun in life and everyone has stories to tell. Very few people stay losers their whole life. Someone might not be able to talk to women now, but later that might change. As it did with me. Don't see how calling them losers helps.

I think your post was an excuse to talk about yourself and your amazing adventures. They sound genuinely interesting if it wasn't for the smug tone. Maybe you should start a blog instead of hijacking an advice thread for a guy struggling with their ladies, to talk about your exploits!

whubee · 04-09-2011 11:14PM

Well I agree with a lot of what is said here about expanding your social circle and taking up hobbies.
However, there is one outstanding error in some of the previous posts. That is that at no time is a real man allowed to dance, sure maybe if youre Argentinian or some other kind of Latino it may be acceptable at times but at no time is any Irishman allowed to dance.
The thoughts of going to a dance class as a single male make me cringe blood. You will be seen as a pervert and you may even get a semi while wearing tight pants. The women will talk about it at break and laugh at speculation about your penis size. They'll laugh evilly the way only a small gathering of women can.
You'll be like that guy from x-factor with the boner.
If youre Irish and male youre not allowed to dance thats the rule. unless youre drunk, sexually confused or michael flately and he's a total fag.

opinion guy · 04-09-2011 11:18PM

A Primal Nut wrote: »

Alternatively, walk into a bar and rip your shirt off as in that Hulk Hogan video! Deserves a hundred thanks!!

And yet it got only one!!!!!!
No even Hulk Hogan thanked me.:(

***cries****

chicken fingers wrote: »

Ok great post, very condescending.
The thing is that people all have different values.
You might value hippie stuff like not harming animals, others have different values. To present yours as "wisdom" and mine as inexperience is your choice, but it doesn't necessarily make you correct.

I'm 28, I've been to more countries than most people can name.
I have a good job that does benefit the worst of the worst-off people in the world, (I also earn well and so does the big evil corp I work for, oh no!).

Its cute how you think that we're all equal and everybody has a wonderful spirit. I don't agree, but thats fine, we can have differing views, I don't have to tell you that I am right and you're wrong. I can accept that we differ.

I know powerful, social people, people who do more good for the world with harsh words and tough actions, but ultimately are a force of "good", winners.
I also know lazy, lonely, unsociable, unemployable, unskilled people who have little real potential in life.

To me, those are the losers.
Yeah they might love their kids, but they're losers.
The guys who can't talk to a woman? Losers.
Theres around 3.5 billion women walking around, and some people can only communicate properly with their female family members.
Sorry, but they lose at life. They let norms and quirks of society prevent them from developing a personality that can allow them to effectively communicate with 50% of the population.

Its nice to pretend that the world is all love and happiness, and that if you dont harm a man or an animal then you're a winner. However, to me, that stinks of massive inexperience of the world.

Have you ever seen a child die?
Ever seen somebody blow themselves up?
Ever been hungry and not eaten for 3 or 4 days for want of food? (still dont want to kill an animal?)
Have you ever made a decision that has saved (or dammed) lives?
Ever seen a man kill another man over food worth less than a quarter?

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

And there writes a man who does not know how lucky he is.

Pffttt......loser:rolleyes:

Yahew · 04-09-2011 11:21PM

Reading between the lines here, I think Chicken Finger is a homeless chap who is good with the ladies.

Eve_Dublin · 04-09-2011 11:23PM

chicken fingers wrote: »

Ok great post, very condescending.
The thing is that people all have different values.
You might value hippie stuff like not harming animals, others have different values. To present yours as "wisdom" and mine as inexperience is your choice, but it doesn't necessarily make you correct.

I'm 28, I've been to more countries than most people can name.
I have a good job that does benefit the worst of the worst-off people in the world, (I also earn well and so does the big evil corp I work for, oh no!).

Its cute how you think that we're all equal and everybody has a wonderful spirit. I don't agree, but thats fine, we can have differing views, I don't have to tell you that I am right and you're wrong. I can accept that we differ.

I know powerful, social people, people who do more good for the world with harsh words and tough actions, but ultimately are a force of "good", winners.
I also know lazy, lonely, unsociable, unemployable, unskilled people who have little real potential in life.

To me, those are the losers.
Yeah they might love their kids, but they're losers.
The guys who can't talk to a woman? Losers.
Theres around 3.5 billion women walking around, and some people can only communicate properly with their female family members.
Sorry, but they lose at life. They let norms and quirks of society prevent them from developing a personality that can allow them to effectively communicate with 50% of the population.

Its nice to pretend that the world is all love and happiness, and that if you dont harm a man or an animal then you're a winner. However, to me, that stinks of massive inexperience of the world.

Have you ever seen a child die?
Ever seen somebody blow themselves up?
Ever been hungry and not eaten for 3 or 4 days for want of food? (still dont want to kill an animal?)
Have you ever made a decision that has saved (or dammed) lives?
Ever seen a man kill another man over food worth less than a quarter?

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

Sufferin' jaysus...are you actually for real?

Ulysses Gaze · 04-09-2011 11:27PM

chicken fingers wrote: »

Ok great post, very condescending.
The thing is that people all have different values.
You might value hippie stuff like not harming animals, others have different values. To present yours as "wisdom" and mine as inexperience is your choice, but it doesn't necessarily make you correct.

I'm 28, I've been to more countries than most people can name.
I have a good job that does benefit the worst of the worst-off people in the world, (I also earn well and so does the big evil corp I work for, oh no!).

Its cute how you think that we're all equal and everybody has a wonderful spirit. I don't agree, but thats fine, we can have differing views, I don't have to tell you that I am right and you're wrong. I can accept that we differ.

I know powerful, social people, people who do more good for the world with harsh words and tough actions, but ultimately are a force of "good", winners.
I also know lazy, lonely, unsociable, unemployable, unskilled people who have little real potential in life.

To me, those are the losers.
Yeah they might love their kids, but they're losers.
The guys who can't talk to a woman? Losers.
Theres around 3.5 billion women walking around, and some people can only communicate properly with their female family members.
Sorry, but they lose at life. They let norms and quirks of society prevent them from developing a personality that can allow them to effectively communicate with 50% of the population.

Its nice to pretend that the world is all love and happiness, and that if you dont harm a man or an animal then you're a winner. However, to me, that stinks of massive inexperience of the world.

Have you ever seen a child die?
Ever seen somebody blow themselves up?
Ever been hungry and not eaten for 3 or 4 days for want of food? (still dont want to kill an animal?)
Have you ever made a decision that has saved (or dammed) lives?
Ever seen a man kill another man over food worth less than a quarter?

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

I've read some smug, condescending, asinine guff on boards before...but this.......

Latchy · 04-09-2011 11:54PM

Chicken Fingers is really Walter Mitty in diguise .

Greentopia · 05-09-2011 12:04AM

chicken fingers wrote: »

Ok great post, very condescending.
The thing is that people all have different values.
You might value hippie stuff like not harming animals, others have different values. To present yours as "wisdom" and mine as inexperience is your choice, but it doesn't necessarily make you correct.

I'm 28, I've been to more countries than most people can name.
I have a good job that does benefit the worst of the worst-off people in the world, (I also earn well and so does the big evil corp I work for, oh no!).

Its cute how you think that we're all equal and everybody has a wonderful spirit. I don't agree, but thats fine, we can have differing views, I don't have to tell you that I am right and you're wrong. I can accept that we differ.

I know powerful, social people, people who do more good for the world with harsh words and tough actions, but ultimately are a force of "good", winners.
I also know lazy, lonely, unsociable, unemployable, unskilled people who have little real potential in life.

To me, those are the losers.
Yeah they might love their kids, but they're losers.
The guys who can't talk to a woman? Losers.
Theres around 3.5 billion women walking around, and some people can only communicate properly with their female family members.
Sorry, but they lose at life. They let norms and quirks of society prevent them from developing a personality that can allow them to effectively communicate with 50% of the population.

Its nice to pretend that the world is all love and happiness, and that if you dont harm a man or an animal then you're a winner. However, to me, that stinks of massive inexperience of the world.

Have you ever seen a child die?
Ever seen somebody blow themselves up?
Ever been hungry and not eaten for 3 or 4 days for want of food? (still dont want to kill an animal?)
Have you ever made a decision that has saved (or dammed) lives?
Ever seen a man kill another man over food worth less than a quarter?

I have, and more. More than I can bring myself write about.
I consider myself a winner, and I consider most people to be losers.
What did they lose?
They lost their chance, you probably only get one life, and spending it working during the week, watching tv, drinking at the weekend, repeat, well, to me that is losing the biggest opportunity you will ever have (to live)

Wow, obviously we all have lessons to learn from you then eh? you "consider most people losers"? lol :rolleyes:

I'm not one for calling people names but honestly dude? you come across as being really egotistical and pompous, bragging about how many countries you've been to and how many 'powerful' people you know.

And you call me condescending (which I really wasn't being-I mentioned age because I know I'm older here than most people so therefore it was a reasonable assumption that I was older than you and therfore have more life experience) and yet you say "it's cute that you think we're all equal..."
:rolleyes:

Your attitude to life and your fellow human beings stinks.
It makes me sad that there are people like you who appear to know little of any real value in this world and have been taken in my the American value system.
I think you're in for a rude awakening somewhere down the road and I just hope you learn the easy rather than the hard way like illness or being thrown into depression or poverty what is really important in this life.You're sadly deluding yourself if you really believe any of the stuff you spout is true.

Oh and throwing pejoratives like "hippy" at me bounces right off me

it just lets me know how much lack of social, political and economic awareness the person has that is calling me that.

However I wish you well and am glad you have a good job that benefits people less fortunate than ourselves whilst paying you a decent wage, so obviously you have some redeeming qualities.

astonaidan · 05-09-2011 12:13AM

Ive only one piece of advice for ye all out there, Girls and Boys take note, (50 No's + 1 Yes)= Yes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQohVFg0omY

LighterGuy · 05-09-2011 12:37AM

Edit

i was wrong.

Marty McFly · 05-09-2011 12:42AM

LighterGuy wrote: »

Jesus you are a horrible person.
Doesnt take a detective to know the OP is speaking from the heart. And is obviously upset about being lonely/not having someone!

Yeah, thats what we'll do, kick him down some more?

Think you got the wrong end of the stick mate, have a bit of a deeper read off the thread there;).

Red Hand · 05-09-2011 12:47AM

LighterGuy wrote: »

Jesus you are a horrible person.
Doesnt take a detective to know the OP is speaking from the heart. And is obviously upset about being lonely/not having someone!

Yeah, thats what we'll do, kick him down some more?

Eh, I think the poster you quoted wasn't referring to the OP but to a rather damaged young man.

OP, one thing is certain...some people, mainly women for some reason, will say "be yourself". This advice, while well meaning, is about as useful as nipples on a breastplate, for if "being yourself" is to be quiet and shy and it hasn't gotten you anywhere in the last umpteenth years of life, then it's obviously not great advice.

LighterGuy · 05-09-2011 12:49AM

opps,
i was wrong alright.
thought he was quoting the op (posts looked similiar with points)

longhalloween · 05-09-2011 12:50AM

Dont be yourself...

Be a better version of yourself.

Always

HavingCrack · 05-09-2011 12:52AM

One thing that has always worked for me is too avoid nightclubs at all opportunites. Weirdly I have no trouble with chatting up women in every other social setting but put me in a nightclub or overly loud bar and I just freeze, I just cannot talk to women, it's an odd one. However I just know to avoid them.

longhalloween · 05-09-2011 12:56AM

luvbulmers01 wrote: »

Bit of a dick arent yeh really:rolleyes:

You make me think of this or these type

You make me think of this or these type

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI

starviewadams · 05-09-2011 01:14AM

Don't be yourself,it doesn't work.

Well don't be me anyways.

Maybe try acting like a cocky prick,that seems to work.

K-9 · 05-09-2011 01:16AM

A Primal Nut wrote: »

A possible tip to get you started is its usually easier to talk to a girl standing close to you in a bar or walking past you, rather than you walking straight up to her. If you walk straight up to her and she blanks you, its fairly humiliating and uncomfortable, and damaging to your self-esteem; having to walk away from her again. On the other hand if you are just standing around having a laugh with your mates and a girl walks by you can say "well, how's it going"; if she doesn't stop you can laugh it off with your mates, if she stops, she might just be interested.

Alternatively, walk into a bar and rip your shirt off as in that Hulk Hogan video! Deserves a hundred thanks!!

The best fun I had was chatting to girls when I was at the bar ordering a drink. If you can get a decent, half funny conversation going, you stand half a chance! Probably the element of surprise. Girl just wants to get a drink and flirt with the barman to get his attention, so a fella just striking up a conversation then has no agenda. He just wants to get a drink too!

SlyBacon93 · 05-09-2011 01:17AM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Right OP, I think I'm a good bit older than you and I'm going to give you some advice as someone whose been chatted up a fair bit in her life (most women have been by the time they hit 31) and this is what I found got my attention (disclaimer: I'm nice to ALL men approach me unless they're out and pricks...)

- See the very hot chick in the corner with the big, grumpy face on her who think she's the hottest woman in the bar and has a few men hovering around her trying to pluck up the courage to talk to her? Chances are, she's not going to talk to you. She's going to be a wagon if you talk to her and possibly rude. See the other good-looking girl whose laughing and has a big, open face and doesn't seem so full of herself but perhaps is not the first woman you'd clap your eyes on when you walk into the bar? She's your best bet.

Classic mistake of many men: approaching ht women who are so obviously bitches and have a million men vying for their attention. I can spot them a mile off...why can't you?

I know not to approach the man in a Rugby jersey waving his willy about in a bar...why can't men spot the female equivalent???

- Be cool, be friendly and listen. Ask questions. We love a man who is interested in what we have to say and not just our boobage. Be genuinely interested in her. If you're not GENUINELY interested in what she has to say, make your excuses and leave. We know if a man is being sincere or just trying to get into our knickers. We've had years of experience of it and we might be slightly/very hostile if you continue on with this insincerity just because we've our baps out.

- Don't take yourself so seriously. Work on your sense of humour and relax. Women LOVE funny men. If you don't see her laughing at your jokes, you've got a humour clash. Move on. Make your jokes and stories inclusive. Find common ground for things to laugh about. If she doesn't click with your humour, bite the bullet and leave. It's going nowhere. Keep your dignity and move on.

- Low self-esteem in not an attractive trait in either gender. We all suffer from it now and then and some more than others. Don't go in with the frame of mind that she's out of your league. You don't know that and really, these league tables are subjective. We can sense if a man is unsure of himself. You're as good as anyone...this girl might not be the one for you but that doesn't make you any less of a person, it just means you don't click. Sad fatc for both genders that the person you fancy doesn't always fancy you back. Finding someone is not easy but don't discount the process before you even started.

I've met most of my exes in bars...not Copper Face Jacks style bars but bars around the Camden area when I lived in Dublin. Relaxed and with people who are open to talking to randomers...or at least they were when I lived there.

-My biggest piece of advice is approach approachable girls. If you approach someone who clearly doesn't want to be approached then you do so at your own risk and you'll be on here complaining about what a bunch of wagons we all are I know the men I shouldn't go near so I don't and I've had no problems. Use your gut instinct. Does she seem nice and approachable? Have you made a bit of eye contact prior to the advances? Don't think only with your dick or you'll get burned....we know the deal.

Good luck!

OP you can't get advise better than that mate

The King of Moo · 05-09-2011 01:24AM

longhalloween wrote: »

Dont be yourself...

Be a better version of yourself.

Always

Agreed.

starviewadams wrote: »

Don't be yourself,it doesn't work.

Well don't be me anyways.

Maybe try acting like a cocky prick,that seems to work.

I wouldn't quite agree.
I'd say be yourself, but be your best self, and be happy and comfortable with yourself.

Things like shyness or difficulty approaching people aren't essential, unchangeable characteristics.
Trying to improve those things doesn't mean you're changing yourself.

Being yourself means sticking to your core beliefs and outlook on life, but improving your confidence doesn't mean changing yourself.

As for being a cocky bastard, I don't think that's necessary. In fact, I'd say you're better off being confident but not cocky.
Confidence is a trait lots of women find attractive, but it doesn't have to go as far as being cocky (there might be a long post somewhere near here proving that cockiness doesn't always go down well

).

In fact, I think most women would prefer a guy who's quietly confident and looks content with himself and not worried about how he's seen by others over an overconfident tool.

In fact, I think most men who make a show of how "confident" they are by being cocky are in fact very insecure people who feel pressure to make sure people know how great they are, as they're not so confident in how great they are themselves.

So yeah, be yourself, but you have to be happy and comfortable with yourself.

Remmy · 05-09-2011 01:30AM

longhalloween wrote:

You make me think of this or these type

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI

How dare you compare the stunning masterpiece that was Glengarry Glen Ross to American Psycho.:eek:

Op,
From my experiences and observations personality and confidence seem to be the most important qualities that have lead friends I know to be successful with the lady-folk.

Status,money,looks doesn't seem to matter near as much as having a likable quality about you. A previous poster mentioned people skills as being very important as woman are people after all (duh:D). Do you know someone that is easy to have a conversation with, has their own opinions, confidence in their beliefs and who they are. As it happens the guys that I know who can converse easily with all people are also those who are very good with women.

foxyboxer · 05-09-2011 02:30PM

Your besht? Loshersh alwaysh whine about their besht.
Winnersh go home and f*ck the prom queen.

Sean Connery - Winner.

sexter · 05-09-2011 05:49PM

The advice given in this thread is all well and good in theory. But in practice it can be useless. You have been programmed to view yourself in a negative light, which is very difficult to overcome in reality.

There are different countries in this world than Ireland. As a rough guideline, the higher GDP a country has, the less interested the females in that country tend to be in the males. consequently, the more interested the males are in the females. Resulting in rigorous competitiveness between the males for the females. Any scrap of low confidence can potentially be a death sentence with women in this system. In the countries with a lower GDP, this competitiveness does not exist. Simply being a decent guy who's interested in a relationship is more than enough to succeed romantically.

So, what I'm getting at is don't be influenced by those who say foreign women only want your money, or those who say abroad is a dating paradise. Look into it and decide for yourself whether going over-seas to meet women is worth taking a chance on.

The King of Moo · 05-09-2011 05:55PM

sexter wrote: »

The advice given in this thread is all well and good in theory. But in practice it can be useless. You have been programmed to view yourself in a negative light, which is very difficult to overcome in reality.

There are different countries in this world than Ireland. As a rough guideline, the higher GDP a country has, the less interested the females in that country tend to be in the males. consequently, the more interested the males are in the females. Resulting in rigorous competitiveness between the males for the females. Any scrap of low confidence can potentially be a death sentence with women in this system. In the countries with a lower GDP, this competitiveness does not exist. Simply being a decent guy who's interested in a relationship is more than enough to succeed romantically.

So, what I'm getting at is don't be influenced by those who say foreign women only want your money, or those who say abroad is a dating paradise. Look into it and decide for yourself whether going over-seas to meet women is worth taking a chance on.

I haven't heard about these stats before and they sound very general and essentialistic, but I'm not sure he'd even need to consider moving abroad.

He seems like a nice guy, which isn't the death sentence people think, and is able to look at himself and want to change, which is an important step to take.
He also has some level of personality and charisma about him or he wouldn't have been put in a management position.

As most people have said already, I think he just needs to naturally build some self-confidence and put himself in situations to meet women he'd like.

opinion guy · 05-09-2011 08:20PM

sexter wrote: »

The advice given in this thread is all well and good in theory. But in practice it can be useless. You have been programmed to view yourself in a negative light, which is very difficult to overcome in reality.

But praciticing something over and over and seeing yourself do better- even if only by chance on occasion is how you change the negative view of yourself. You slowly realised things aren't so bad. The rest just follows on from that.

There are different countries in this world than Ireland. As a rough guideline, the higher GDP a country has, the less interested the females in that country tend to be in the males. consequently, the more interested the males are in the females. Resulting in rigorous competitiveness between the males for the females. Any scrap of low confidence can potentially be a death sentence with women in this system. In the countries with a lower GDP, this competitiveness does not exist. Simply being a decent guy who's interested in a relationship is more than enough to succeed romantically.

Really you just made this up didn't you ?

booboo88 · 05-09-2011 11:31PM

dirtypanties wrote: »

My Husband is a total nerd....Adds to his appeal IMO-There must be more women like me out there that like geek chic (+hopefully they will have clean panties;))

Don't give up OP-you never know who you might meet tomorrow/next week/next year:)

I like the nerds, i like the rockers, i like even the wierdos, but if you cant talk to me, theres no point.

I only have one rule, has to be taller than me:)

ballsymchugh · 05-09-2011 11:41PM

said it before, and i'll say it again.

shut yourself off in a cave somewhere for a few month and develop a metallic suit, maybe iron or something similar, just make it impermeable to modern weapons, while arming it with amazing weapons of the future that shoot out like pulses of energy.

keep redeveloping it until you can walk easily in it, and fly very fast, faster than a fighter plane.

then hold a press conference and declare yourself to be the inventor, then fly into a world expo, and i guarantee you there'll be fantastic looking ladies dancing all around you.

and grow a smig. :cool:

Keith186 · 06-09-2011 12:44AM

OP you could quit your job, go back to college and party, party hard!

Teutorix · 06-09-2011 01:01AM

To all you who say there are no winners and losers in life, i got a message for you.

THATS LOSER TALK! :P

What to do if you're bad with women

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