Why are young Irish women so rude in bars/clubs?

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

stop ignoring the obvious point - they should hit on women in their own league (sigh). I'm out

Well thats just it. I am out of your league (in my own head) and I will be rude and disrespectful to you because I see you as being beneath because in my opinion your not attractive enough.

If a female came up to me with my friends mid conversation, I would be pissed off too. Added to that you have degraded yourself by approaching a random stranger basically for sex. Its hardly attractive to a female.

I think the problem here is that some Irish men don't see how things look from the women's point of view. (Let me state here so I don't have to repeat it, that anything I say about Irish men here doesn't apply to all of them: there's lots of well-adjusted, normal Irish men out there, but there's also a significant portion of idiots who are to be found in greater proportions in nightclubs and thus create a stereotype of Irish men)

To you it might seem like a case of "I'm going to chat nicely and charmingly to this girl."

Now if you've thought that then ten other guys have already though it and tried it on before you, and yeah, she's probably a bit sick of it (and men always flock to the most attractive girl. At a work night out I saw about fifteen guys literally making a complete circle around a moderately attractive co-worker. She was offered a drink about once a minute and it was painfully obvious that they were trying so hard to impress her. Pathetic stuff). Also, no matter how charming you are, neither of you will be fooled into thinking that you're just going for a chat. You're looking for sex. That's the only reason strangers talk to each other in nightclubs. If she's interested in you too, fine, but if not, don't blame her for being a bit repulsed, because it's clear what you're looking for and...

the intimidation factor: for a lot of women it's intimidating if a guy approaches you quite clearly for sex, particularly if he's drunk (and if an Irish man is in a nightclub, statistically he probably is, and as a result, not half as charming as he thinks) and being aggressive.

You might not think you're being aggressive, but when a man is (usually) bigger, physically stronger, drunk and clearly looking for sex, that's often intimidating for a girl, especially if she's been getting it all night.
I see this all the time.
On one of the rare occasions I've had to be in a nightclub in the past few years, a guy went over to chat up my girlfriend as I was larking about on the dancefloor. She's well able to handle herself so I left her alone and kept a subtle eye on things. After she had politely smiled and answered his questions in a basic simple manner while clearly showing no real interest in him for a while, he kept pestering her.
So I casually went over and sat beside and gave her a kiss and said "hi" to the guy. Not wanting to lose face or admit defeat I suppose, he threw out one or two more questions or sentences (I couldn't really tell what he was saying) then he moved on to her friend sitting three feet away at the same table.
Naturally she politely rebuffed him but he kept pestering her until she got a bit less polite and he left with his tail between his legs.
So he was clearly looking for sex, clearly lacking tact and self-awareness. He also took it as a personal insult that my girlfriend had chosen to meet me almost three years earlier, and that her friend wasn't weak at the knees when he graced her with his attention. A very childish, petulant, defensive fellow.

Now I've literally seen something like this happen at least once every time I've been in a nightclub. A guy can't take no for an answer, even if he's been politely rebuffed. That just eggs him on more until the girl has no choice to be rude.
And taking a lack of interest personally, and then getting aggressive and coming on stronger. Sorry guys, you're Irish so you're probably not George Clooney, so just because you're interested in a girl, doesn't mean she's going to be interested in you. Don't blame her if she's not.

Now there are bad eggs on both sides. Overall, we still act like kids at a school disco when we're in a club. Blame it on our lingering Catholicism and many single-sex schools. Some girls might get rude in a club, and even if it's uncalled for and the guy was being polite, you can be sure she's had a number of drunk guys pestering her that one night alone.

It's a very aggressive, single-minded way that people behave in clubs. No finesse, no courtship rituals (say what you will about the Italian guy's approach, for example, and how transparent it might be, but at least there's the effort to be polite and charming to the girl, and put her at her ease, even if it's in an old-fashioned, patronising and kind of creepy way)
Too many people see women as objects to be conquered. It's the Neil Strauss "The Game" attitude where you have to trick women into sleeping with you as you lack a personality, or do your best to pretend you don't have one.

I've always preferred to meet women outside nightclubs where we can get to know each other properly.

Most Irish men and women are nice well-balanced people, but nightclubs have a greater number of tools on both sides of the fence, and seem to have something in them that switches off many normal people's cop-on (besides alcohol).

(Also, ladies, I may have got your impression of what it's like to be chatted up bady wrong. Apologies if so, I'm going on my own observations and what women have told me.)

Peace out.

Raekwon wrote: »

True, Italians are notorious sleazebags. The trouble is that because they are considered to be much better looking then Irish guys, 9 times out of 10 they will get their end away, which says alot more about the women that entertain their sh*te then it does for them for trying it on.

Your average Italian man is (conventionally) more attractive than an Irish guy, and their moves are also transparent, but they do make a big deal about being charming and polite to a girl, even if it's abundantly clear what they're after.

Interestingly, all the Italian women I've known hate that approach, and the perceived vanity of Italian men, and say they prefer Irish and British men!

Miss Olenska wrote: »

Well the "Off you go" is because he has already decided he's not bothered! If I met him in real life and was into him, it wouldn't matter because he wouldn't even give me a chance!

He doesn't have to leave the country to find a nice foreign girl!!