Shameless

kfallon · 07-07-2011 04:43PM

later10 wrote: »

I once saw an old lady, maybe in her 70s, get out of her car, walk round the driver's side to the kerb, squat down and take a wizz. This was in a small town in rural Ireland.

I was 13, sitting outside a shop eating a sandwich. I looked at my best mate. He looked at me. We both looked at the ould wan. She looked at us with a sheepish grin.

I'll never forget it, I think that image has been impressed on my brain for life. So I actually do believe the OP's story. Some people really are that shameless.

I remember once me Nan had forgotten to attach her piss-bag and was bursting. She tried to hold it in but was in such pain I told her to go at the side of the car. Anyway when she got back in she said she was just about to get down to business when she spied two young perverts trying to look up her dress at her, ahem, as she called it, "Dead squirrel". Both of them with their hands down their tracksuit bottoms. We quickly sped off from these vile youngsters.

:pac:

frag420 · 07-07-2011 05:10PM

Yrs ago when I was just a young cub myself and the lads went to the local shop for some sugar(red lemonade and wham bars). There was an old woman in the shop who we recognised from about town. We always thought she was homeless cause she had no teeth and she smelled but thanks to Pete Doherty we know that aint the case anymore.

Anyways she is standing at the end of one of the aisles standing still, humming to herself and then it hit us........

An unholy whiff in the shop. We wondered where it came from, was the ham gone off? Did someone through a stinkbomb in the door??
Then it turned to true horror.................we looked at the ould wan to see a turd running down her leg like a raindrop on a window or more like a brown slug on a window except faster and leaving more of a trail on her leg. It kept coming, flowing from underneath her skirt and resting on the floor beside her shoe until there was a nice lump of poo in a pool of piss rested between her legs.

For ages afterwards I would not walk about that side of the shop. It was not until it was done up and the lino on the floor changed that I could walk about that part of the shop.

frAg

iPlop · 07-07-2011 05:17PM

frag420 wrote: »

Yrs ago when I was just a young cub myself and the lads went to the local shop for some sugar(red lemonade and wham bars). There was an old woman in the shop who we recognised from about town. We always thought she was homeless cause she had no teeth and she smelled but thanks to Pete Doherty we know that aint the case anymore.

Anyways she is standing at the end of one of the aisles standing still, humming to herself and then it hit us........

An unholy whiff in the shop. We wondered where it came from, was the ham gone off? Did someone through a stinkbomb in the door??
Then it turned to true horror.................we looked at the ould wan to see a turd running down her leg like a raindrop on a window or more like a brown slug on a window except faster and leaving more of a trail on her leg. It kept coming, flowing from underneath her skirt and resting on the floor beside her shoe until there was a nice lump of poo in a pool of piss rested between her legs.

For ages afterwards I would not walk about that side of the shop. It was not until it was done up and the lino on the floor changed that I could walk about that part of the shop.

frAg

I saw something like that in a pub years ago, a chap at the bar lifted his hole to fart and a load of black guinness poo juice seeped through his kacks and ran off the side of the stool.

Fart · 07-07-2011 05:19PM

pigeater wrote: »

Was just in the bookies in Ringsend doing a bet for the afternoon when I heard a commotion behind me. There was a smell of sh1t in the air. All the old fellas were jostling towards the door. My mate, who was placing a bet at the counter, came down to me with tears in his eyes and a purple head on him. He had been wretching. Someone had left a human turd right at the counter. We asked one of the degenerate clientele that hang out there what happened. Some auld git shook a turd out his pants leg into a pile on the carpet. Gas man.

Why did he have his knob out?

vampire of kilmainham · 07-07-2011 11:02PM

what a load of crap

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