Shameless

pigeater · 07-07-2011 01:24PM #1

Was just in the bookies in Ringsend doing a bet for the afternoon when I heard a commotion behind me. There was a smell of sh1t in the air. All the old fellas were jostling towards the door. My mate, who was placing a bet at the counter, came down to me with tears in his eyes and a purple head on him. He had been wretching. Someone had left a human turd right at the counter. We asked one of the degenerate clientele that hang out there what happened. Some auld git shook a turd out his pants leg into a pile on the carpet. Gas man.

FatherLen · 07-07-2011 01:25PM

cool story bro

iPlop · 07-07-2011 01:26PM

I don't believe you

Gillington · 07-07-2011 01:26PM

What a loada horse shít

The King of Moo · 07-07-2011 01:26PM

Who the hell moved it from the carpet to the counter!!??

Latchy · 07-07-2011 01:28PM

Wonder wat odds you git for dat happinin ?

Doyler92 · 07-07-2011 01:28PM

Great program.

pappyodaniel · 07-07-2011 01:31PM

bull****.

ScumLord · 07-07-2011 01:33PM

pigeater wrote: »

Was just in the bookies in Ringsend doing a bet for the afternoon when I heard a commotion behind me. There was a smell of sh1t in the air. All the old fellas were jostling towards the door. My mate, who was placing a bet at the counter, came down to me with tears in his eyes and a purple head on him. He had been wretching. Someone had left a human turd right at the counter. We asked one of the degenerate clientele that hang out there what happened. Some auld git shook a turd out his pants leg into a pile on the carpet. Gas man.

Carpet? What kind of a place still has carpet?

Lux23 · 07-07-2011 01:33PM

I have heard similar stories. A friend of mine was working in Benetton and there was a woman bringing half the shop into the changing room to try on, he told her that she was only allowed six pieces at a time and tried to get some of the stuff of her. She ran into a cubicle and locked her herself in, the security couldn't get her out for ages so they decided to just walk and see what she would do. She wandered out about 30 minutes later with a smirk on her face, they went into the room to discover that she has **** on a pile of clothes and then smeared most of it all over the walls and door. The store had to be closed until someone had come out to clean it up.

My brothers school had a phantom pooper, the first time he left a turd on top of the bathroom room door so it fell on the kids when they went in. Then he just started doing it on the floor and they even put posters up looking for information on who did it.

pigeater · 07-07-2011 01:34PM

For those of you that cant grasp the story "at the counter" not on the counter, "on the carpet", not on the counter. Thank you.

kfallon · 07-07-2011 01:36PM

So a fella shook a turd from his pants in 'Ringsend'......hmmmmm, I smell shenanigans!!!

The King of Moo · 07-07-2011 01:38PM

pigeater wrote: »

Was just in the bookies in Ringsend doing a bet for the afternoon when I heard a commotion behind me. There was a smell of sh1t in the air. All the old fellas were jostling towards the door. My mate, who was placing a bet at the counter, came down to me with tears in his eyes and a purple head on him. He had been wretching. Someone had left a human turd right at the counter. We asked one of the degenerate clientele that hang out there what happened. Some auld git shook a turd out his pants leg into a pile on the carpet. Gas man.

pigeater wrote: »

For those of you that cant grasp the story "at the counter" not on the counter, "on the carpet", not on the counter. Thank you.

In fairness, that's not 100% clear.
I don't think not knowing where exactly the turd is really hampers the story anyway

.

OutlawPete · 07-07-2011 01:39PM

That's what is known as a betting slip.

Which usually happens after your horse comes in turd.

sunflower27 · 07-07-2011 01:40PM

Urgh. just had lunch as well...

I have a serious public toilet phobia. Worst one I ever was in was a petrol station somewhere between Cork and Waterford. Made me want to be sick it was so filthy.

How anyone could **** on a pile of clothes and walk off leaving someone else to clean it is beyond me.

kfallon · 07-07-2011 01:41PM

sunflower27 wrote: »

How anyone could **** on a pile of clothes and walk off leaving someone else to clean it is beyond me.

Think that's bad well a former Sky Sports presenter apparently likes people doing it to him :eek:

sunflower27 · 07-07-2011 01:44PM

kfallon wrote: »

Think that's bad well a former Sky Sports presenter apparently likes people doing it to him :eek:

Good God.... you hear these stories, but I just can't grasp the idea anyone would want someone else's **** on them.

It's just wrong. Then again each to their own..

stephen_k · 07-07-2011 01:45PM

Lux23 wrote: »

I have heard similar stories. A friend of mine was working in Benetton and there was a woman bringing half the shop into the changing room to try on, he told her that she was only allowed six pieces at a time and tried to get some of the stuff of her. She ran into a cubicle and locked her herself in, the security couldn't get her out for ages so they decided to just walk and see what she would do. She wandered out about 30 minutes later with a smirk on her face, they went into the room to discover that she has **** on a pile of clothes and then smeared most of it all over the walls and door. The store had to be closed until someone had come out to clean it up.

My brothers school had a phantom pooper, the first time he left a turd on top of the bathroom room door so it fell on the kids when they went in. Then he just started doing it on the floor and they even put posters up looking for information on who did it.

Yup, used to work for Roches Stores back in the day, regular occurance there, people taking a **** in the changing rooms....

CardBordWindow · 07-07-2011 01:48PM

Pics or it didn't happen!

CreepingDeath · 07-07-2011 01:54PM

It was probably FlutterinBantam.

ScumLord · 07-07-2011 01:55PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

It was probably FlutterinBantam.

He wouldn't be so sly about it, I'm sure he would have announced it's presence to the room so they could give their opinion on it.

GerM · 07-07-2011 03:09PM

A lot more common than people think. Normal people will do some pretty disgusting things if they think they won't be caught. I know of several corporate offices where employees have regularly dumped on the floor or wiped it down the cubicle walls. I'm not sure whether they were disgruntled or just nutters but it happens at one time or another in most big companies.

Latchy · 07-07-2011 03:20PM

GerM wrote: »

A lot more common than people think. Normal people will do some pretty disgusting things if they think they won't be caught.

We like to think the best of people but I've being around long enough to be disgusted at what some things ' normal people ' can do .

Orando Broom · 07-07-2011 03:23PM

Two turds of the posters on this thread don't believe the OP's courageous tale (tail).

Dangerous Man · 07-07-2011 03:32PM

This reminds of another story that was to do with ****e.

I was on the bus going to Tallaght, the Square to be precise. I don't know why I chose to go there though; it's a horrible place altogether and the city centre is actually much closer to my house. In fact, I can walk there.
The weather was fine that day - so it wasn't a case of using the confines of the Square to shield me from the elements.
No... that wasn't it at all.

Anyway, so I'm on the bus and I notice a dreadful stink coming from behind me. I thought it could be skangers or something so I turn around and see a nappy overflowed with ****, laying on the floor. A scummer, who was sitting directly behind of it yelled at me, for some reason 'YEAH IT'S ****E!'

I moved seats and told the driver about the faeces.
When I was done in the Square (I can't remember what I was doing there - shopping - yes... but for what, I don't know) I hopped on the bus and lo and behold, that same nappy full of excrement was there.

Happier times.

Gandalph · 07-07-2011 03:34PM

Hey if one of my mates was spending too much in the bookies Id gladly take a dump on the open floor to clear everyone out...because Im a great friend like that

Latchy · 07-07-2011 03:35PM

Oh lawd ... Threads getting more skangier by the hr

Orando Broom · 07-07-2011 03:36PM

I worked in a place of prestige and someone pooed on the floor of a toilet that could only be used by people who would consider themselves a cut about the hoi polli. To this day the identity of this sneaky ****ter remains a mystery.

theboss80 · 07-07-2011 03:36PM

Latchy wrote: »

Wonder wat odds you git for dat happinin ?

100/turdy

JONJO THE MISER · 07-07-2011 03:40PM

Time for a ****.

later12 · 07-07-2011 04:20PM

I once saw an old lady, maybe in her 70s, get out of her car, walk round the driver's side to the kerb, squat down and take a wizz. This was in a small town in rural Ireland.

I was 13, sitting outside a shop eating a sandwich. I looked at my best mate. He looked at me. We both looked at the ould wan. She looked at us with a sheepish grin.

I'll never forget it, I think that image has been impressed on my brain for life. So I actually do believe the OP's story. Some people really are that shameless.

Shameless

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