Depression

11-06-2011 4:13pm

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

True. I'm not sure it's just this country - I think it's everywhere.

I read somewhere that women are more likely to suffer from depression and yet men are more likely to commit suicide.

Perhaps it's because women talk about it more?

I heard it's because of method of suicide, that women are just less successful at it, not that they are less likely to want it. That men are more likely to use methods that are sure to kill them eg. guns, whereas women are more likely to do things like take a lot of pills. (Sorry if my wording is harsh, I know describing suicide can be taken badly).

As a woman recovered (as much as I think anyone can be) from depression, I can 100% state that talking about it had no effect on my recovery. In my experience, while men have to tackle the "men shouldn't show emotions" stigma, women are just as ashamed at times to talk about it. Even sitting in a psychiatrist's office, I couldn't talk about it. I hate to say it, but (with the exception of a few times) the people I have heard talking openly about being depressed clearly had no idea what the word meant.

WesternNight · 11-06-2011 4:23pm

true-or-false wrote: »

I heard it's because of method of suicide, that women are just less successful at it, not that they are less likely to want it. That men are more likely to use methods that are sure to kill them eg. guns, whereas women are more likely to do things like take a lot of pills. (Sorry if my wording is harsh, I know describing suicide can be taken badly).

Yes, seemingly more women attempt suicide and more men complete.

guitarzero · 11-06-2011 4:52pm

I think the scariest thing about depression is that time is passing. The years are just fading by and when you look back there is very little, next to nothing, you can say about this time other than what a drag or perhaps certain tragic events that blip the lull.
Its the feeling that you may look back sometime and wish you had these years again with the knowlegde you came to know. This is very hard to take nevermind the potentially disastrous idea that the depression may never change that much.
Its like a different portal of existence. Although we may all share the same world and aesthetics, its incredible at times to what extreme varying degrees we see the world and how we feel about it. I look at people who seem invigourated by life, how they seem to take steps with such certaintly and belief. That their senses seem to flood their emotions through to their very core. People who can smile while trawling the gutter of life. People who are old, ugly or mediocre with little to offer still seem to interact with life with an energy despite the weak hand they were dealt with.
When I look inside I see little thats worth exchanging other that dark matter at times. Dont get me wrong now, I can, at times, have higher moments and can actually have a laugh. But its the serious down times. Its like I have to excavate into the rear of my mind to bring something thats credible to others despite how fabricated and weightless in sentiment it truly is. I often feel that it can be seen in my eyes. Like when people look at my eyes they are compelled to look away or their core will be ruptured permantently. My words often feel entirely manufactured and overly presentable at times although with some its not so necessary. My character has to adjust to others needs and expectations as my own passions and thoughts are too philosophical (hate that word). I guess its when people have genuine ambitions and emotional triggers you fear that you could deprive them of this if you give anythin of yourself.
A woman I really like wants us to go out sometime but this is extreme pressure for me as I will practically have to reinforce a mantra, a character that is sensitive the her sentiments and feelings while supressing what could be a serious downer.
I think the hardest part is the social and intimate aspect. When that gets hit it, it hits like a cold shower. I couldnt call my friends the type of friends you could engage with on a broader frame of reference, including personal aspects such as depression. We need to relate to others otherwise we dont get the affirmations we require. The less we relate to others the more we drift off out to space. Its definitely a peripheral experience where you are looking at the painting as opposed to being part of the artwork.
I feel as though I'm blabbering on. I've done counselling and from my exprience its 90% $$$$, perhaps a small percentage who's hearts are in the right place but havent 'walked the walk' so cant really talk the walk.

stupidusername · 11-06-2011 6:22pm

Ruth Scarce Padding wrote: »

Internet seems to be the doctor these days,some people claim to be depressed,but some are just are natural whingers..

jesus, i wouldn't have said that. are the people on here not saying they've had depression because they've been diagnosed?? I would never assume something like that. but calling someone a whinger is hardly constructive to someone who is having a rough time, even if they don't have depression.

It was pointed out to me that I don't handle things very well, and so i started looking into it al myself, and went to my doctor about it. she asked me why i thought I was depressed, I said I didn't really think i fitted the description but it seemed the most likely thing... went on to explain the things I was, and yeah she diagnosed me with moderate depression. since then I've been bringing it up (with another 3 doctors) and they've all agreed. so at least according to the DSM I am. and i'm kinda accepting it.

but even if it wasn't something that was diagnosed it doesn't mean that what someone is going through isn't important or dangerous. even if you think someone's attention seeking or whiney, it does't mean what they're feeling isn't important. I think we'd all do well to remember that.

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 11-06-2011 6:33pm

i withdraw that remark,you are correct,apologies.

softmee · 11-06-2011 7:12pm

Few months ago when I was feeling REALLY really low for a long time, just dark clouds over my head and darkness I went to GP and I told her about it. I told her exactly how I was feeling and how it was not coused by my life circumstences (even if it was- depression often start with some issues). She told me that its just coused by weather and I will be fine when summer comes...
I was studying psychology for 2 years. I know when I can help myself and when I cant. I read many books by Fromm and other authors and I am aware of how to "maintain" healthy state of mind and whats good for you and whats not. Sometimes its just low level of particular substances in your body and maybe yes -she was right about me feeling better when summer comes - but -did I have to wait so many months and struggle with every day during October, December, January, February..
Sometimes I cant belive Doctors are studying so many years -just to be such ignorants in the end? To many of them dont have any mission to help others, they are just doctors for money and prestige.

jimthemental · 11-06-2011 7:22pm

I'd say I've been a bit depressed since secondary school, I'll seek help if it gets worse but I've seen what it can do to people at it's worst and I know that is just affecting my general mood at the moment. After reading some of this thread I am grateful thatI am not badly hit.

Napper Hawkins · 11-06-2011 8:05pm

softmee wrote: »

Few months ago when I was feeling REALLY really low for a long time, just dark clouds over my head and darkness I went to GP and I told her about it. I told her exactly how I was feeling and how it was not coused by my life circumstences (even if it was- depression often start with some issues). She told me that its just coused by weather and I will be fine when summer comes...
I was studying psychology for 2 years. I know when I can help myself and when I cant. I read many books by Fromm and other authors and I am aware of how to "maintain" healthy state of mind and whats good for you and whats not. Sometimes its just low level of particular substances in your body and maybe yes -she was right about me feeling better when summer comes - but -did I have to wait so many months and struggle with every day during October, December, January, February..
Sometimes I cant belive Doctors are studying so many years -just to be such ignorants in the end? To many of them dont have any mission to help others, they are just doctors for money and prestige.

I can agree with that somewhat. I reckon most of the doctors I've seen in my time were on the level and do give a toss. But I've been around some that were clearly just groomed for it from a young age because let's face it, the money is awesome and they wouldn't have many problems when it comes to finding a woman. That said, I wouldn't want that level of stress and responsibilty.

What the hell am I on about?

Depression, sucks. Been up and down for years, a break up after a long relationship was and still is probably the lowest I've ever been. Someone mentioned talking doesn't change much, I'd agree to a point. People say they care but I've noticed that most folks get very uncomfortable when someone starts going on about their problems, definitely here in good old Ireland.

softmee · 12-06-2011 1:33pm

softmee wrote: »

She told me that its just coused by weather and I will be fine when summer comes...

Today I think I should have asked her if she forgot that we are living in the country without summer. :rolleyes:

By the way, did anyone tried one of those lamps :

http://www.argos.ie/static/Product/partNumber/4435413/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CHealth+and+personal+care%7C14418350/c_2/3%7Ccat_18431814%7CHealth+and+wellbeing%7C14418363.htm ?

I cant afford sunny holidays this year (not first time), so maybe i could just pretend I am on sunny Island.

13-06-2011 1:04am

I've never experienced depression but I sure did help a friend pull through it. She was being abused by her father and she had to be seen to social services. Her self esteem dropped a milage and she had nobody to turn to as her mother didnt believe her. Ive known her for 3 years and she's still not fully over it, it will probably take her another 2 or 3 years. When I first got to know her she seemed so shy and so private about her life, whereas I'm the opposite, I'm loud and open. I explained to her that " life is so short and no day should be wasted sitting around being upset over things that cant be changed ". She did forget that motto or just didnt bother listening but I kept cramming her mind with it and in time she did stand up and brush her clothes down. To see a someone with no confidence to that was extremely amazing. From what she has told me, depressed people see a dark hole and I told her, walk the other direction. Self harming and suicide was a big thing in her life, until we lost a friend from suicide, things changed her life. Seeing her friends hurt from his loss, she decided she could not go on like this as it was no benefit to her or others. Now shes so thankful and appreciateful. She's making so many friends everyday and I couldnt be more proud of her. People love her and she's never had that. And for me, I'm glad to have made a massive change in her life that she could never forget. Her father and her are so close now even and she is now Daddy's little girl.

stupidusername · 13-06-2011 1:10am

6328 wrote: »

Her father and her are so close now even and she is now Daddy's little girl.

sorry but wtf? your post made sense up until there. he abused her and now somehow she's close to him!?

13-06-2011 1:11am

When I say abuse, I dont mean rape. I mean hitting. They both went through counselling and they took it from step by step.
Problem?

Badgermonkey · 13-06-2011 1:21am

6328 wrote: »

She was being abused by her father and she had to be seen to social services.

6328 wrote: »

Her father and her are so close now even and she is now Daddy's little girl.

Does not compute.

6328 wrote: »

I explained to her that " life is so short and no day should be wasted sitting around being upset over things that cant be changed ".

It's most unlikely your words, however well intentioned, would be of significant benefit to someone suffering from depression and given the context as set out by yourself, it would not seem to take account of the effect such a traumatic episode could have on a person.

autonomy · 13-06-2011 1:25am

cheer up sleepy jean

13-06-2011 1:26am

Meaning my words for her mighten help for someone else? I dont know exactly what your saying?

Galway K9 · 13-06-2011 1:32am

The counsellor in GMIT is great! such a caring and motivational person. go PS!!!:D

Sardonicat · 13-06-2011 1:33am

6328 wrote: »

I explained to her that " life is so short and no day should be wasted sitting around being upset over things that cant be changed ". She did forget that motto or just didnt bother listening but I kept cramming her mind with it and in time she did stand up and brush her clothes down.

You see, this is the kind of patronising, dismissive, hectoring response that prevents people from opening up to others about having depression.

I can assure you that this girl doing well now has NOTHING to do with that judgemental bollix you so generously "crammed" into her mind.

She's doing well in spite of you, not because of you.

13-06-2011 1:34am

Sardonicat wrote: »

You see, this is the kind of patronising, dismissive, hectoring response that prevents people from opening up to others about having depression.

I can assure you that this girl doing well now has NOTHING to do with that judgemental bollix you so generously "crammed" into her mind.

She's doing well in spite of you, not because of you.

I'm just going to leave this now unless your a doctor?

Sardonicat · 13-06-2011 1:37am

6328 wrote: »

I'm just going to leave this now unless your a doctor?

It's pretty obvious that you are not. it's pretty obvious that you know absolutely nothing about depression, or the effects of abusive family environments, becuase if you did you wouldn't be spouting this tripe.

13-06-2011 1:39am

Sardonicat wrote: »

It's pretty obvious that you are not. it's pretty obvious that you know absolutely nothing about depression, or the effects of abusive family environments, becuase if you did you wouldn't be spouting this tripe.

I never said I was one.
Sorry if I insulted you in any sort of way. As I did state, I havent experienced it. I only shared my story of my friend here to prove that it can be helped. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion

Sardonicat · 13-06-2011 1:43am

6328 wrote: »

I never said I was one.
Sorry if I insulted you in any sort of way. As I did state, I havent experienced it. I only shared my story of my friend here to prove that it can be helped. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion

Yes, it can be helped. But a little advice to you, my friend, who has been fortunate enough to never have been plagued by the black dog, the advice you gave this girl will not help anyone. It more than likely will have the opposite effect on someone who already is consumed with self-loathing.

13-06-2011 1:45am

Sardonicat wrote: »

Yes, it can be helped. But a little advice to you, my friend, who has been fortunate enough to never have been plagued by the black dog, the advice you gave this girl will not help anyone. It more than likely will have the opposite effect on someone who already is consumed with self-loathing.

Sound

Badgermonkey · 13-06-2011 1:50am

6328 wrote: »

Meaning my words for her mighten help for someone else? I dont know exactly what your saying?

Firstly, you were there and have personal knowledge of the situation and that counts for a lot.

My point was, the girl had experienced what was clearly a traumatic event. Offering well intentioned, seemingly common sense advice may have placed further pressure upon her and not afforded sufficient significance to the effect the violence had had.

13-06-2011 1:51am

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Firstly, you were there and have personal knowledge of the situation and that counts for a lot.

My point was, the girl had experienced what was clearly a traumatic event. Offering well intentioned, seemingly common sense advice may have placed further pressure upon her and not afforded sufficient significance to the effect the violence had had.

Okay thanks

18-06-2011 9:23pm

I was discussing this with a friend recently - is depression the new coming out? By that I mean, when a person is coming out they are unsure about how society will accept them or how people will react? Since more and more people are opening up about their mental health, are we possibly looking at the same situation?

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 18-06-2011 9:25pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I was discussing this with a friend recently - is depression the new coming out? By that I mean, when a person is coming out they are unsure about how society will accept them or how people will react? Since more and more people are opening up about their mental health, are we possibly looking at the same situation?

i think there's more understanding of it now than years ago,sadly the recession is driving alot of people into it

.

sollar · 18-06-2011 9:41pm

Anxiety can be a significant problem too with depression.

stupidusername · 18-06-2011 10:04pm

I don't know that more people are doing it.well I mean by that that I don't know. I'm trying to be more open about it with my friends,and they're kinda being more open about how they've felt at times,but tbh I don't find it's done much in terms of making me feel I can be honest about my mood.it depends on the person though.
I think in general more people are open to hearing it but at the same time they don't know what to say.

Latchy · 18-06-2011 10:05pm

I think there is a more awareness , understanding and sympathy out there now for sufferers of depression than at any other time which may of course be partially due to the the economic climate we live in but sadly there are always going to be the '' pull yourself together man '' brigade out there who may also be suffereing with depression in their lives but can't admit to or not sure how to cope and deal with it themselfs .So they adopt the ignore it and hope it goes away attitude .

midlandsmissus · 19-06-2011 2:21am

Novella wrote: »

You're not being misunderstood at all. I thought I might have been misunderstanding you, but I wasn't.

It's funny that you think I'm narrow-minded however, when in fact it is yourself who is coming across in that way as far as I'm concerned. I don't mean to be offensive but the lack of knowledge you are portraying here isn't my problem. It's the fact that you seem so adamant that you're in the right and I, and anyone else who truly believes and understands depression to be crippling, are wrong.

I'm all for people expressing their opinions, and I love discussion and debate but honestly, you're just being insensitive right now.

It's just ridiculous that the only people you think are 'allowed' to be depressed are those suffering the effects of disaster or who have 'serious' reasons. What is serious to one person isn't necessarily to another, and to even use the word allowed in relation to a disease, an illness... I mean, seriously?

I don't have a conceited "you don't understand depression" attitude, but I don't think that you do. It's not uppity, I'm only forming my opinion based on what you are saying.

Why should a person think they deserve help? Well, what makes the disabled person entitled to such, the homeless person? Is it because you can physically see what is wrong with them but you can't see depression?

I don't think you're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. That's so simplistic. A person could be positive for a period of time and negative for another. You said yourself, no one can be happy always.

To finish, of course me stating I find your stance belittling is negative. I'm disagreeing with you!

In fairness though you just cant expect anyone who hasnt been through it to understand it. They just can't. To go and help a homeless person when even washing your hair is a mount everest to climb.
To not feed yourself because even having the will and interest to lift the spoon to your mouth is an unimaginable feat. That is depression.

Depression

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