Sad,childish and bitter little victories..

mackeire · 27-04-2011 03:03PM

Wheelie King wrote: »

Good one from about 15 years ago from a banklink machine just off Grafton street. It was a weekend night and there was a fair size queue at the machine full of anxious drinkers trying to get a few quid out. I was about 5th or 6th in the queue when three office type pricks walked right up the front and stood in behind the girl taking money out. When she moved they darted in to the machine to get some cash. The bloke behind them did'nt seem to give a fu ck and let them go about there business looked like he did'nt need the trouble but a girl behind him mentioned to them that the queue started back down the path and she was in a hurry. They proceeded to call her a "slut" and to "go find someone to blow". With that the bloke who did'nt look like he gave two fu cks took off his jacket and told them that he was going to "teach them a lesson" to which the pricks responded with laughter.

They picked on the wrong bloke as he made mince meat of two of them whilst the other bloke did a runner. He then put his jacket back on and told the girl to go ahead and get her money out as he was in no hurry. Fecking hero.

Not your usual chat up line. Bet he got the ride!!

ChunkyLover_53 · 27-04-2011 03:12PM

Was on a unarmed Army/ Garda checkpoint on the Border during the Foot & Mouth Crisis a few few years back. It was in the back ass of monaghan somewhere. Saw 2 cars all night. I was on a 12 hour shift while the Garda on the Checkpoint was their for 8. So the first Garda who was there left after 4 hours, he had let me sit in his own car & we listened to the radio & talked crap, his relief showed up in his own car too & when the other guy left we talked for a bit then the new Garda said 'Well I'm off to get me head down...I'd let ya in my car but we're not insured to use them while I'm working.'

Yeah, nice one, whatever. So I built a bivvi (a shelter) at the side of the road & sheltered there for the night. It rained during the night & the ditch I'd built the bivvi beside started to fill up quickly so had to relocate in the dark. I was not a happy camper.

Anyway next morning my relief arrives in the jeep to pick me up & bring me back to barracks. I'm like a drowned rat at this stage, I handed over to the next lad & told him the story. Then suddenly the Garda's car starts ticking over. He can't start the engine. He jumps out and looks at me 'Here lads, have ya got any jumper cables or can ya give us an auld push?'

Before anyone could say anything to him or even before I knew the words were coming out of my mouth, in my best Dublin brogue I said, 'Sorry bud, We're not insured to go near your own cars while you have them at work' I jumped into the jeep & said to the driver to go quickly. Left my mate there to repair Garda/Army relations.

Whilst i physically drove out of there, the mental image I had was of me Moonwalking away whilst giving the fingers & laughing.

stovelid · 27-04-2011 04:33PM

thebullkf wrote: »

second story was good. the one above is moronic tbh.

what age are you OP?

Thing about annoying an ex that dumped you is that you can't be so bad about it that it actually validates their bad opinion of you.

Sure she only very briefly discussed it with her new man before she rode him into the mattress that night though.

talla10 · 27-04-2011 04:44PM

Wheelie King wrote: »

Good one from about 15 years ago from a banklink machine just off Grafton street. It was a weekend night and there was a fair size queue at the machine full of anxious drinkers trying to get a few quid out. I was about 5th or 6th in the queue when three office type pricks walked right up the front and stood in behind the girl taking money out. When she moved they darted in to the machine to get some cash. The bloke behind them did'nt seem to give a fu ck and let them go about there business looked like he did'nt need the trouble but a girl behind him mentioned to them that the queue started back down the path and she was in a hurry. They proceeded to call her a "slut" and to "go find someone to blow". With that the bloke who did'nt look like he gave two fu cks took off his jacket and told them that he was going to "teach them a lesson" to which the pricks responded with laughter.

They picked on the wrong bloke as he made mince meat of two of them whilst the other bloke did a runner. He then put his jacket back on and told the girl to go ahead and get her money out as he was in no hurry. Fecking hero.

Chuck Norris eat your heart out

Few weeks ago waiting for a bus a little sh1tbox car drives past with 4 teenagers inside who thought they were **** cool finally being in a car without mammy.The driver slows down , looks at us and shouts 'Bus W**kers' like in the Inbetweeners, they all roar laughing and two in the back give us the fingers. However they didnt observe what was ahead on them and BHAM!!! into the back of a brand spanking new 2011 car..Funny in itself but this car had blue lights, GARDA, written on the side and two very pissed off looking coppers got out!!

At this stage everyone around watched as the boys got such a bollicking and then the car was searched. Two more Garda cars arrive,a sergeant gets out and asks for any witnesses. About 5 of us almost ran over to tell what happened!!In the end the car was seized driver was arrested and three other gimps had to walk up past us the way they came, pure scarlet and all eyes on them!!Classic!!

juma · 27-04-2011 05:01PM

talla10 wrote: »

Chuck Norris eat your heart out

Few weeks ago waiting for a bus a little sh1tbox car drives past with 4 teenagers inside who thought they were **** cool finally being in a car without mammy.The driver slows down , looks at us and shouts 'Bus W**kers' like in the Inbetweeners, they all roar laughing and two in the back give us the fingers. However they didnt observe what was ahead on them and BHAM!!! into the back of a brand spanking new 2011 car..Funny in itself but this car had blue lights, GARDA, written on the side and two very pissed off looking coppers got out!!

At this stage everyone around watched as the boys got such a bollicking and then the car was searched. Two more Garda cars arrive,a sergeant gets out and asks for any witnesses. About 5 of us almost ran over to tell what happened!!In the end the car was seized driver was arrested and three other gimps had to walk up past us the way they came, pure scarlet and all eyes on them!!Classic!!

Jesus Christ, how f**king long were you waiting for that bus?

walshb · 27-04-2011 05:07PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

So, you're still into her then?

angelfire9 · 27-04-2011 05:22PM

talla10 wrote: »

Chuck Norris eat your heart out

Few weeks ago waiting for a bus a little sh1tbox car drives past with 4 teenagers inside who thought they were **** cool finally being in a car without mammy.The driver slows down , looks at us and shouts 'Bus W**kers' like in the Inbetweeners, they all roar laughing and two in the back give us the fingers. However they didnt observe what was ahead on them and BHAM!!! into the back of a brand spanking new 2011 car..Funny in itself but this car had blue lights, GARDA, written on the side and two very pissed off looking coppers got out!!

At this stage everyone around watched as the boys got such a bollicking and then the car was searched. Two more Garda cars arrive,a sergeant gets out and asks for any witnesses. About 5 of us almost ran over to tell what happened!!In the end the car was seized driver was arrested and three other gimps had to walk up past us the way they came, pure scarlet and all eyes on them!!Classic!!

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant :pac:

FlipperThePriest · 27-04-2011 05:30PM

couldntthink wrote: »

I was in traffic one day and pulling out to turn right at a box junction. A guy tried to stop me pulling out even though I was going right and he couldn't clear the box. I pulled out on front of him and forced him to brake in the middle of the box. He honked and mouthed something. I stopped right on front of him did the classic V sign that Fr. Dick Byrne uses in the Eurosong episode of Father Ted. Big smile on my face. He went nuts inside the car he literally started screaming and I laughed at him and drove off. I felt good all day. Mainly because I was in the right and he was such a knob jockey.

You've great patience, I wouldn't be happy unless the p***ks realised they were in the wrong. About a million roundabout stories spring to mind.

Two weeks ago driving along around 80k in traffic on a country road. Twat in a lorry cab behind me right up my arse kept inching closer and closer. This was going on for about 5 mins when I had enough... hit the brakes just enough to make him brake (wasn't dangerous as I was looking at how close he was) he obviously hadn't been watching and slammed the brakes when he saw my lights..he stuck to the road, lovely sound of screetching - music to my ears, even the guy behind him had to dart to the hard shoulder to avoid him (obviously also tailgating)... so I got two birds with the one stone, and as they sat there motionless I just drove on big grin!

the groutch · 27-04-2011 05:32PM

few years ago was on a 45 bus into town and got to the stop outside the RDS.
at the stop was 6 or 7 girls (about 20ish, real d4 type), and a couple of male students.
all of the girls wait til the bus has stopped and opened before rummaging in their purses for change, not even starting to get on the bus, but at the same time blocking the students from getting on.
eventually the two students barge their way through, swipe their student tickets. the driver shuts the door, drives off and leaves the girls behind.
the look on their faces was priceless.

BluesBerry · 27-04-2011 05:36PM

juma wrote: »

Jesus Christ, how f**king long were you waiting for that bus?

If it was a Dublin bus they would probably get to see the court appearance too!

Brendan Flowers · 27-04-2011 05:45PM

zippy84 wrote: »

You've great patience, I wouldn't be happy unless the p***ks realised they were in the wrong. About a million roundabout stories spring to mind.

Two weeks ago driving along around 80k in traffic on a country road. Twat in a lorry cab behind me right up my arse kept inching closer and closer. This was going on for about 5 mins when I had enough... hit the brakes just enough to make him brake (wasn't dangerous as I was looking at how close he was) he obviously hadn't been watching and slammed the brakes when he saw my lights..he stuck to the road, lovely sound of screetching - music to my ears, even the guy behind him had to dart to the hard shoulder to avoid him (obviously also tailgating)... so I got two birds with the one stone, and as they sat there motionless I just drove on big grin!

I dont care if I get banned because this has to be said.....

Brake testing a lorry, you sir are a fcuking idiot

tallus · 27-04-2011 06:51PM

Nice Story OP.

I absolutely love seeing drivers who use the bus lanes illegally get their comeuppance!

Cheers

)

Sinfonia · 27-04-2011 07:02PM

zippy84 wrote: »

Two weeks ago driving along around 80k in traffic on a country road. Twat in a lorry cab behind me right up my arse kept inching closer and closer. This was going on for about 5 mins when I had enough... hit the brakes just enough to make him brake (wasn't dangerous as I was looking at how close he was) he obviously hadn't been watching and slammed the brakes when he saw my lights..he stuck to the road, lovely sound of screetching - music to my ears, even the guy behind him had to dart to the hard shoulder to avoid him (obviously also tailgating)... so I got two birds with the one stone, and as they sat there motionless I just drove on big grin!

Not saying the other guy was in the right or anything, but you shouldn't have done that.

Phoenix Park · 27-04-2011 07:04PM

thebullkf wrote: »

second story was good. the one above is moronic tbh.

what age are you OP?

Hello there. I am 31 years old. I'm disappointed you didn't like my first story. If you think I overreacted to a girl who dumped me FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait...well, maybe i'm a smaller man then you, what else can i say. If she'd any respect for me whatsoever she'd have crossed the street and not waved some new baby in my face,the only reason anyone does that is just to say HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU.
Maybe a bigger man would have walked away. I couldn't. I'm weak. People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

talla10 · 27-04-2011 07:07PM

juma wrote: »

Jesus Christ, how f**king long were you waiting for that bus?

About 45-50 mins it was a sunday but the time flew :pac:

Good oul Dublin Bus

RachaelVO · 27-04-2011 07:09PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

Hello there. I am 31 years old. I'm disappointed you didn't like my first story. If you think I overreacted to a girl who dumped me FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait...well, maybe i'm a smaller man then you, what else can i say. If she'd any respect for me whatsoever she'd have crossed the street and not waved some new baby in my face,the only reason anyone does that is just to say HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU.
Maybe a bigger man would have walked away. I couldn't. I'm weak. People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

Oh Jesus, you have some seriously unresolved issues with this chick, which really seem to have made you a wee bit paranoid! You may just need to realise she just didn't fancy you anymore, and now you're best off out of it... Maybe don't be a bigger man, maybe just continue your meds!!!

Second story still brilliant!!!!!

Royale with Cheese · 27-04-2011 07:10PM

Well I thought the first story was hilarious. Life's too short to try and be the bigger man and pretend something doesn't bother you. Holding grudges is fun.

Sinfonia · 27-04-2011 07:11PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

[...]FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait[...]HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU[...]
People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

They sure are.

candy-gal1 · 27-04-2011 07:17PM

Ah love these little epic tales of self victory

cheered me up this evening so ty there!
And great first story OP, I totally get you on that tbh

FlipperThePriest · 27-04-2011 07:17PM

Brendan Flowers wrote: »

I dont care if I get banned because this has to be said.....

Brake testing a lorry, you sir are a fcuking idiot

Firstly as was said, it was a cab, not a lorry carrying a load, bit of a difference when braking is concerned, and secondly - I'm not about to risk my safety for some arsehole tailgating; yes I broke, I didn't exactly slam them on, far from it actually, - he musn't have paying attention and simply panicked when he saw brake lights, he was never near enough to hit me..

no need to be insulting.

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 07:22PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

Hello there. I am 31 years old. I'm disappointed you didn't like my first story. If you think I overreacted to a girl who dumped me FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait...well, maybe i'm a smaller man then you, what else can i say. If she'd any respect for me whatsoever she'd have crossed the street and not waved some new baby in my face,the only reason anyone does that is just to say HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU.
Maybe a bigger man would have walked away. I couldn't. I'm weak. People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

If I saw an ex with a baby that would be enough to put a massive smile on face tbh.

Also, I'm fairly positive having a baby would mean you're not having sex. Not any more anyway.

Also also, you need to get laid, and get over her.

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 07:23PM

zippy84 wrote: »

Firstly as was said, it was a cab, not a lorry carrying a load, bit of a difference when braking is concerned, and secondly - I'm not about to risk my safety for some arsehole tailgating; yes I broke, I didn't exactly slam them on, far from it actually, - he musn't have paying attention and simply panicked when he saw brake lights, he was never near enough to hit me..

no need to be insulting.

Dangerous driving is not bested by more dangerous driving. Two wrongs don't make a right. Except in maths.

talla10 · 27-04-2011 07:30PM

landsleaving wrote: »

If I saw an ex with a baby that would be enough to put a massive smile on face tbh.
.

It would have me doing some quick calculations...:D

Sir Oxman · 27-04-2011 07:31PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

Hello there. I am 31 years old. I'm disappointed you didn't like my first story. If you think I overreacted to a girl who dumped me FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait...well, maybe i'm a smaller man then you, what else can i say. If she'd any respect for me whatsoever she'd have crossed the street and not waved some new baby in my face,the only reason anyone does that is just to say HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU.
Maybe a bigger man would have walked away. I couldn't. I'm weak. People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

Ah you shouldn't have risen to the bait of some on here - thought both stories were very funny.
it's not as if the thread title didn't give away the contents...
Good on ya.

FlipperThePriest · 27-04-2011 07:35PM

landsleaving wrote: »

Dangerous driving is not bested by more dangerous driving. Two wrongs don't make a right. Except in maths.

Yeah you're prob right but it felt good afterwards, and I don't think it was dangerous, he just panicked having been daydreaming and seeing the lights in front of him, plus in retrospect I could have actually saved someone's life cuz this guy might have had a wakeup call and said feck, won't do that again! :pac:

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 07:36PM

zippy84 wrote: »

Yeah you're prob right but it felt good afterwards, and I don't think it was dangerous, he just panicked having been daydreaming and seeing the lights in front of him, plus in retrospect I could have actually saved someone's life cuz this guy might have had a wakeup call and said feck, won't do that again! :pac:

I suppose...uh.. just don't do it again

DrHLecter · 27-04-2011 07:38PM

LOLZ @ op's "Ha Ha I win".

reminds me of jez from peepshow.

or....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj9S0EYS5EI

Brendan Flowers · 27-04-2011 07:51PM

zippy84 wrote: »

Firstly as was said, it was a cab, not a lorry carrying a load, bit of a difference when braking is concerned, and secondly - I'm not about to risk my safety for some arsehole tailgating; yes I broke, I didn't exactly slam them on, far from it actually, - he musn't have paying attention and simply panicked when he saw brake lights, he was never near enough to hit me..

no need to be insulting.

Actually in this case I think there is a need to be insulting. What an utterly stupid thing to do. Is it any wonder people are getting killed on our roads with drivers like you out there. As you said "he was never near enough to hit me". Once your OK thats all that matters I suppose. Never mind the other motorists. Braking testing a man which had him "slammed the brakes when he saw my lights..he stuck to the road, lovely sound of screetching" is one of the worst things you could possibly do to another driver. Something like that could have caused a tyre blow-out. Also you seem to have forgotten about the other innocent motorist you told us about who "had to dart to the hard shoulder to avoid him". Jesus Christ someone like you should never be let behind the wheel of a car if you think what you did wasn't dangerous and idiotic.

fontanalis · 27-04-2011 08:00PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

Hello there. I am 31 years old. I'm disappointed you didn't like my first story. If you think I overreacted to a girl who dumped me FOR NO LEGITIMATE REASON WHATSOEVER (yes NONE), who smugly offered a "well well! look who it is! how have you been!" to me and expect me not to take the bait...well, maybe i'm a smaller man then you, what else can i say. If she'd any respect for me whatsoever she'd have crossed the street and not waved some new baby in my face,the only reason anyone does that is just to say HA HA LOOK AT ME, I'M HAVING SEX: HERE'S THE PROOF I MADE A BABY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, HA HA, SCREW YOU.
Maybe a bigger man would have walked away. I couldn't. I'm weak. People are so touchy nowadays to be honest.

A bigger (some would say wiser) man would have asked if she knew who the father was.

FlipperThePriest · 27-04-2011 08:06PM

Brendan Flowers wrote: »

Actually in this case I think there is a need to be insulting. What an utterly stupid thing to do. Is it any wonder people are getting killed on our roads with drivers like you out there. As you said "he was never near enough to hit me". Once your OK thats all that matters I suppose. Never mind the other motorists. Braking testing a man which had him "slammed the brakes when he saw my lights..he stuck to the road, lovely sound of screetching" is one of the worst things you could possibly do to another driver. Something like that could have caused a tyre blow-out. Also you seem to have forgotten about the other innocent motorist you told us about who "had to dart to the hard shoulder to avoid him". Jesus Christ someone like you should never be let behind the wheel of a car if you think what you did wasn't dangerous and idiotic.

Must have been you!? I'm not saying my actions were gallant, but these guys tailgating need to wise up, they're the ones causing accidents and endangering people...what when someone genuinely has to slam the brakes on (not what I did by any stretch) in front of a lorry...they're the ones that will get mashed not the frickin lorry driver, some day he will be carrying his trailor and won't be fit to stop, he'll be ok up there sound as a pound in his lorry! "other innocent motorist you told us about", he's hardly innocent, sure he was obviously tailgating as bad or worse than the lorry driver.

Sad,childish and bitter little victories..

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