Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

orange girl · 16-11-2010 2:47am

Mazdoll wrote: »

My son is twenty this week. It has been two decades since I spent my pregnancy in the Good Shepherd Mother and baby home in Dunboyne. My son is with me and we have not had an easy life but a good life "together". I always think of all the girls who were there in dunboyne spending their preganacy with me. All the babies given up for adoption, where are they now, the heart ache and loss of the Mam's and the waiting for contact over these years.

I think of the letters we had to write to our babies, newly born at the time and the cries in the "after hospital room" from us mothers for the loss of our children.

If any of you are reading this, I have not forgotten and for every milestone I reach with my son, I think of you and hope that one day you will be reunited.

Hi There
Happy irthday to your son who is twenty this week , my daughter will be twenty this May and is still with me too thank god,i logged on a found this thread by accident and it just seems so unreal as i havent talked about dunboyne in years,it holds good and sad memories ,
To all the very very brave girls who were there and gave their babies up my thoughts and prayers with you always.
I was there from dec 1990 to early june 1990 and it amde me grow up very quickly, some wonderful marvellous girls that i will never forget

luv to u all xx

orange girl · 16-11-2010 2:57am

orange girl wrote: »

Hi There
Happy irthday to your son who is twenty this week , my daughter will be twenty this May and is still with me too thank god,i logged on a found this thread by accident and it just seems so unreal as i havent talked about dunboyne in years,it holds good and sad memories ,
To all the very very brave girls who were there and gave their babies up my thoughts and prayers with you always.
I was there from dec 1990 to early june 1990 and it amde me grow up very quickly, some wonderful marvellous girls that i will never forget

luv to u all xx

I remember i went back when my daughter was two for tea woth sr anne and she told me that she sometimes regretted any influence she may have had on girls decisions ,i remember that really shocked me because it was i was so nearly persuaded to give my daughter up for adoption.

orange girl · 16-11-2010 2:59am

hi mazdoll
i think i know you and lost contact with you as i did all the girls if it is you ,its great to hear from you my daughter is called ciara do you remember me

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:53pm

I would have been gone from Dunboyne then, i left first or second week in november 1989, but its good to hear from you . I hope you and Ciara are doing well, not an easy road. It was nice to hear Sr Anne had an understanding of her role in Ard Mhuire, she was very forcefull in her way around adopting. :mad: Wonder what she is doing now. I would like sometime for all who posted on this thread to meet up, think it would be good.
We seem to be the hidden women of Ireland. Just think we have a voice that needs to be heard:):):):) This thread has had over 7000 hits I think that says something

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:55pm

Hello gavig123

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:56pm

Hello Shassa

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:57pm

Hello Enda63

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:58pm

Hello Ryan05

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 4:59pm

Hello MaryBang

Mazdoll · 17-11-2010 5:00pm

Hello Carlow333

shassa · 17-11-2010 6:24pm

Mazdoll wrote: »

Hello Shassa

hi all
it would be great to meet up with all and to see how everyone had got on and i do think that we need to be heard as you say hidden for to long our stories need to be told

orange girl · 21-11-2010 10:51pm

yes i think it would b great to meet up , i did keep in touch with some of the girls for about three years or so but sadly it was sooo difficult for most of them re their circumstances,sadly some did not have avery happy outcome .
Do you remember a film crew came from rte and interviewed some of us and about 12 years ago sr anne contacted me again to see did i want to do a follow up but i refused ,she was working in south anne st with cura then and around that time her mum died,but i dont know where she is now.
i am writing this thread now just after leaving the hospital where my daughter is in the process of giving birth with all the love and support she needs ,amazing how things change isnt it,
Mazdoll after thinking about your pm and do think i remember you just leaving as i arrived its all so hazy at times the fights i had re refusals to sign with certain people ,

Mazdoll · 22-11-2010 9:06pm

Congrats on the new arrival, you'll have to let us know, boy or girl ??????
Anyone remember answering the phone lines for cura in good shepherd. I remember thinking to myself, jaysus if the phone rings what will i say being 7 months myself and stuck up here.........mad....

I think we need to have a reunion ???? is that what you'd call it....from all over the years....Mary Magdelene and myself were talking about it before...any takers

orange girl · 23-11-2010 2:25am

No thank god didnt have to answer the phone but did have to scrub all the clothes by hand ,remember the laundry??? I also remember someone getting a private copy of the excorcist and getting caught watching it and yes we were sorry. no news on the baby yet she is happy puffing air and gas ,where did the time go ??

albeit · 18-01-2011 2:21pm

Does anyone know what the good shephard sisters are doing nowadays? Has anyone googled them together with a name of some asian or african country to see if they are still providing their services in less fortunate parts of the world. I think I found one mother and baby home in bangkok and one in another asian country on the web. They also appear to still organise adoptions.

helen k · 21-01-2011 2:04am

hi i was in dunboyne from september 1988 and left in march 1989 .i remember sister anne and the husky dog was anybody there at tht time tht remembers helen k. i just found this site tonight and am shocked and intrigued by it all its 21 yrs since i was there and had a happy out come

cargeo711 · 26-01-2011 1:58am

Hi I was in Dunboyne from September 1986 till March 1987. Had been talked into getting my son adopted. I must say they were good, did it in such a way that I thought the whole thing was all my own idea! He was gone for 6 long weeks while I fought to get him back. But times have changed as another poster pointed out. I was with my daughter when she gave birth to my lovely Grandson. And there was no question of him going anywhere but home with his family.

helen k · 26-01-2011 9:15am

shassa wrote: »

gavig123 wrote: »

hi shassa

i am trying to find out some information about a girl that took a photo of me and my daughter in the hospital she was in dunboyne too but i cannot remember her name

hi shassa helen k. here i took a photo of a girl with her baby in holistreet hospital my daughter was born in march 1989 she is 22 this year .i was in dunboyne from sep 1988 till march 1989.i hope this is some help for u .

regards helen k

deelite · 05-02-2011 5:08pm

After reading your stories here I feel like I have been reading a personal diary. My heart goes out to all of you. I never knew that mother and baby homes existed - I'm still trying to get my head around the idea of them. I hope all of you find what you are searching for.

lillymay · 22-02-2011 12:02am

hi m

helen k · 23-02-2011 6:22pm

hi my name was known as helen k left in 1989 my daughter is 22 this march now were u there then . i rem so many girls but not there names i was there for 7months met lovely friends but met none of them since

Mazdoll · 23-02-2011 9:39pm

hi lilymay

Mazdoll · 23-02-2011 9:43pm

Its 16 months since i first posted and there has been ....9, 999 views. Hello to all you ladies who have posted and thank you.

Penny Dreadful · 03-03-2011 6:27pm

deelite wrote: »

After reading your stories here I feel like I have been reading a personal diary. My heart goes out to all of you. I never knew that mother and baby homes existed - I'm still trying to get my head around the idea of them. I hope all of you find what you are searching for.

Me too. I remember hearing about "the convent" in Dunboyne when I was a child. My uncle, Ger Kelly, used to drive a mini bus service and I think may have taken some some of your ladies to Holles Street for your appointments and to give birth

He was a lovely uncle and I sincerely hope he was nice to all of you.
I think you are such brave women to have gone through what you have and come out the other side of it. I hope you're all happy with life.

MaryMagdalene · 04-03-2011 10:54am

Thanks Penny,

I don't think your Uncle would have been allowed to talk to us in case we 'corrupted' himI assume

but I certainly don't remember any of the workers being nasty - mostly indifferent I would say. The pig man used to talk to me - anyone remember him?

However, I would love to know does anyone know if they used a particular taxi firm or local man as I would love to thank the taxi driver that collected me from the hospital. It wasn't easy for him.

Penny Dreadful · 04-03-2011 12:12pm

MaryMagdalene wrote: »

Thanks Penny,

I don't think your Uncle would have been allowed to talk to us in case we 'corrupted' himI assume but I certainly don't remember any of the workers being nasty - mostly indifferent I would say. The pig man used to talk to me - anyone remember him?

However, I would love to know does anyone know if they used a particular taxi firm or local man as I would love to thank the taxi driver that collected me from the hospital. It wasn't easy for him.

He died a few years ago, quite a sad death really as he had Alzheimers and Parkinsons but he and his wife were an aunt and uncle that I was really close to, almost like another mum and dad. I used to go on my "holidays" to their house in Dunboyne and thought I was in clover as I got away from my brother and sisters and got to do fun stuff like to to bingo (:o the expectations of kids on their holidays all those years ago eh?).
I often think about them both and remember him talking about the convent and the girls there and taking them to the hospital for appointments and other such things. I never understood what was happening in the convent (good ol' Ireland back then, such things were never openly discussed and the damage that caused:() but remember the tone he and my aunt spoke in was always one of gentleness and kindness. Maybe this was because they had adopted two girls themselves as they were unable to have children I don't know. I just really do hope that he was nice to everyone

Mazdoll · 05-03-2011 11:18pm

Hi there Penny,
Thank you so much for posting, I remember Gerry the Taxi man and he brought me to hospital and collected me a few times. Such a gentleman, i am very sorry to hear his passing wasn't easy. He was such a good man and was always available morning noon or night should any of us go into labour. He told me he had two daughters adopted and was always kind and gentle. You should be very proud of him for the kindness he showed to a lot of us girls who were up there. Please pass condolences to his wife, i have never forgotten him and wondered over the years was he still doing the taxi service. Couldnt have been easy for him. We did a drop to a laundry in Dublin city centre once a week with sheets, anyone remember the name of it.
Thanks Mazdoll

Mazdoll · 05-03-2011 11:20pm

However, I would love to know does anyone know if they used a particular taxi firm or local man as I would love to thank the taxi driver that collected me from the hospital. It wasn't easy for him.[/QUOTE]

Hello Mary ,
It was the same man Gerry the taxi driver, he also used to drive the mini bus. He had been doing it for quiet a number of years when I was there. Almost sure it was the same man. Mazdoll

minnie10 · 30-03-2011 3:38pm

Hi Harry,

I was just reconnected today with this thread, and I came across you. I am adopted and was born 10th May 1975 so just six months before you and I was also in the Good Shepherd Home. I just wonder if you received any information about this place, and if you could share it me. I only now decided to find out a bit more about myself after years of thinking of doing it.

Hope to hear from you

minnie10

flipmeister · 04-04-2011 1:17am

Hi everyone,

I recently found out that my mam was in the convent when expecting me. I was born January 1983, although I was not adopted. My mother was their because my parents were not married at the time and was sent there in secret by my grandmother, I have been told that was not unheard of! Crazy how things have changed. After I was born I remained in the convent up until my parents marraige in March 1983, where I was then taken home with them. During my several weeks there my parents used to visit every sunday up until they could get married and I suppose break the news to their families and take me home.

I actually remember as a toddler visiting the convent the odd sunday for a long time. Where we visited a 'Sister Cait' and unbelieveably reading through all the previous posts the husky dog flashed in to my mind. I can actually remember playing with a husky dog in the garden there. Obviously I had no idea the situation regards why we vistited, I was always told that Sister Cait was a friend of my parents. Every visit she had a present for me and we always received a card from her at xmas.

As I have just been told all the truth and events of all this I am quiet taken aback as its unbelieveable that this was only a relatively short time ago. If anyone would have any additional info regards what it may have been like there for my mam and also what it would have been like for me there on my own as a baby I would appreciate it. Also if anyone knows of Sister Cait!

MaryMagdalene · 06-04-2011 12:42pm

Penny if indeed it was your Uncle you should indeed be very proud of him.

flipmeister - I cannot answer for you as a baby as by 1985 there were no babies kept there. I remember Sr Cait but you have to understand its difficult to be objective.

However my honest assessment is of a decent person doing a difficult job and following the rules. She was not cruel but she was not someone I would warm to either. At the end of the day she did her job to the best of her ability and she made sure that medically both the mothers and babies were well looked after.

However it does sound like your Mother and her formed a friendship so take heart from that.

I know some of the girls were very grateful as for a lot of them their families didn't and couldn't ever know about them. I think in your situation your Mother, whilst missing you over the 6 months etc., always knew that it was a temporary situation and therefore it would have been less traumatic.

Aslo maybe for your Mother it was a relief to go there to simply (excuse the pun) let it all hang out and somewhere she could relax as there is nothing as stressful as trying to hide the bump

. God I remember my own Mother thumping me to pull my stomach in in case anyone noticed!!

Hope this helps in some way

.

Penny Dreadful · 06-04-2011 1:46pm

MaryMagdalene wrote: »

Penny if indeed it was your Uncle you should indeed be very proud of him.

flipmeister - I cannot answer for you as a baby as by 1985 there were no babies kept there. I remember Sr Cait but you have to understand its difficult to be objective.

However my honest assessment is of a decent person doing a difficult job and following the rules. She was not cruel but she was not someone I would warm to either. At the end of the day she did her job to the best of her ability and she made sure that medically both the mothers and babies were well looked after.

However it does sound like your Mother and her formed a friendship so take heart from that.

I know some of the girls were very grateful as for a lot of them their families didn't and couldn't ever know about them. I think in your situation your Mother, whilst missing you over the 6 months etc., always knew that it was a temporary situation and therefore it would have been less traumatic.

Aslo maybe for your Mother it was a relief to go there to simply (excuse the pun) let it all hang out and somewhere she could relax as there is nothing as stressful as trying to hide the bump . God I remember my own Mother thumping me to pull my stomach in in case anyone noticed!!

Hope this helps in some way .

Thanks

I was talking to my cousin (the oldest of the two girls my aunt and uncle adopted) last week and told her about this thread. The good feelings people seem to have had for my uncle really cheered her up so much. It was great to be able to pass on such positive things about him to her.

I was talking to my mum about the thread too and Uncle Ger and she said that it was funny how the lived experiences of a situation differed so much from what people saw on the outside. My Uncle had always said that it seemed as though the nuns in Dunboyne had been pretty decent to all of the girls there under their care and it made him glad that the old draconian measures seemed to have been in the past. Reading the posts here it would appear that things were still very difficult for the girls in the convent. It makes you so glad that things have moved on so much in the intervening years.

minnie10 · 06-04-2011 4:15pm

Hi Everyone,

I was born on the 10th May 1975 in holles St, Hospital and from there went to the Good Sheperd Convent in Dunboyne with my mother. I was adopted in December 1975. I don't have alot of information, but I do have a copy of application form for St Josephs Home for babies in Stamullen, which gives very vague details. (Obviously I must have been going to be sent here, but I was very forunate got 2 lovely adopted parents. I

The form was a pink colour and beside my mothers name was the no 29, can anyone tell what this number might have stood for, e.g her age or maybe the room no she was in(if any, or bed number). Can anyone throw some light on this, Please??

I lwould like just to know a bit more about what it was like during that time. I recently found out that my adopted cousin who had a baby herself a few months after I was adopted and she also was in The Good Sheperd Convent and gave her son up for adoption, but she has been blessed to have been reunited with her son.

If anyone who was born and adopted in 1975 or if anyone who had a child around May 1975 can give me any information, I would be so greatful.

Thanks

Minnie 10

mother1986 · 23-04-2011 12:53am

I was in Dunboyne from April 1986 to July 1986. There were over 40 girls there when I arrived. The memories are both happy and sad but all still very vivid. I have been back to 'Dunboyne Castle' once since it became a hotel and all the memories came flooding back. I learned how to knit! Nothing much else to do once you finished your chore in the morning. I remember the view from my bedroom and the squirrels on the lawn and the walk into the village to the wool shop or for icecream. We were all only on first name basis and I never saw any of you again but we helped eachother through a very tough time in life!:)
Susan

odette75 · 30-04-2011 9:30am

Hi Minnie 10

Looks like you and I arrived at the same time, I was born on 11th of May 1975 in Holles Street and then shipped out to Dunboyne. My bm was from monaghan and her name is Patricia, I was put up for adoption too but my grandmother fell for my twinkling eyes and took me home and reared me as her own, I was a lucky one. I had to there myself to see the place or just feel it really, I steadied myself with a strong cuppa in the uber posh end before wandering in to old part, it was errie to say the least, and very emotional to walk the same corridors our mothers walked. I was amazed at the size of the front door, and how it really seperated both worlds. I found it very funny however when I noticed the security cameras following me as I gazed around the hall, now if they had been there way back in the day many of us would have fewer questions;)

Good luck

dixdix · 02-05-2011 10:19pm

Hi, I was doing a google search and came across your comments.
I was in Dunboyne from April until August in 1990, I had an ok time
up there. I was lucky as I had a great social worker and she convinced me that I would be great mother and I kept my beautiful baby son, who will be 21 years old this year. I was known as Ailish as there was a lot of Eileens there at time and it was confusing. It was lovely to hear from other girls who were there, ive always thought about the time up there and the people I met when I was there.

karen from cork · 15-06-2011 9:39pm

hi mazdoll , i was in dunboyne feb to sept 89. Came across yr chats and also orange girls . i remember some of the girls , ge it really brought back all those memories that were in my head and some were like a dream that i had to think did i go through it at all? do remember sr ann , and laundry room at back , and the chapel on sunday morning , used to go to mass on a sunday myself as i kept nearly passing out in that small chapel , and often i would go as far as the church but not go in and at times i was quized as to was i there and that i was not seen, ??? i dont know if ye remember me but i was asked a couple of times to cut some of the nuns hair . I got friendly with a blondie haired girl linda and we wrote a couple of times then i lost contact . would love to hear from ye .the yrs have made me stronger but the emptyness never goes even after having a lovely husband and 3 children who i love so much . karen from cork

shassa · 15-06-2011 10:36pm

hello all
i remember being in Dunboyne in November 1985 to march 1986 and i remember my mother did not notice that i was pregnant but sent me away so no-one would know. But when i got to Dunboyne within a matter of days i was about two sizes bigger i just blossomed as they say ha ha. I gave my baby girl up for adoption in 1986 not by my choice as i was only sixteen and i do remember Sr Cait.

lauradin · 19-06-2011 11:41pm

Hi everyone,
I was in dunboyne from march 89 until july 89, i think i remember you karen but to be honest a lot of that time is a blur of memories, but reading this has brought back a lot of memories, yes i remember the laundry and and the small chapel. i was only looking at a photo of sr anne and her dog lately. my daughter is nearly 22 now and i often wonder if i should bring her up to show her dunboyne now that it is open as a hotel but i think it could be a bit wierd facing back there. does anyone know where sr anne is now? i also remember a sr ambrose and i think shiela was either a social worker or a nurse (not sure on that, does anyone remeber her?)

Babyblessed · 20-06-2011 8:27pm

I have to say I admire you all.

I was 17 in 1988 when I fell pregnant for my 1st, a boy. However I was living in the UK and whilst my Catholic parents persuaded us to get married (we separated just over 2 years later), I cant imagine how different it was for you all. I do remember my Irish grandfather being persuaded not from come over to Ireland for the wedding as I was 7months gone! Getting married wasnt the solution, we quickly had another child in June 1990 and separated months later. My life was a bit of a mess but I dont regret any of it.

I just wonder what experience I would have had if I was here.

love to you all, some very amazing women...x.x.x..x.x

karen from cork · 22-06-2011 8:16pm

hi there , ya its like another time , im just wondering did we share a room i think it was the first or second room on the left going down the hall, 3 beds when u come into bedroom 2beds to the left wall then on the right were 2 sinks with a screen covering them, then there was my bed to the right and 2 big windows looking out onto a green.Do u remember the choirs that were done after breakfast and the taking turns in the kitchen wid the cook to do dinner? ITS only lately i found out the home was turned into a hotel . I have also thought about going back there but would i remember it before it was changed then i was thinkin do i want to bring back the past. .

kathy finn · 23-06-2011 8:47am

hi, it,s great to see all u birthmothers chatting about ur experiences here, just goes to show how much things have changed and u can talk openly.
u should all arrange a get together. kathy

karen from cork · 26-06-2011 1:14am

hi kathy was reading bac over threads i remember one or 2 visitors when i was in the home ,but we never met these people. have thought about going back but it would have changed so much , i gave my baby up , but stayed in contact wid the ad mother through the agency , and my daughter and i met up 2yrs ago we met a couple of times , then last yr she said it was too much and needed a break, i was gutted as i recieved this info from her via text , i think alot of this has to do wid loyalty to the adoptive parents ,she then made contact to me text and i then returned a message i was thrilled , then heard no more so decided to send email a mnth ago and she sent 1 back , i am taking it very slow,as i dont want to get hurt again or put pressure on her i want her to take it at her own pace i relise i wont have the fairytale relationship i would like but am happy to know there is contact.and that she knows that i love her so so much and am always there for her .

Mazdoll · 28-06-2011 9:04pm

We are amazing women.

Huge hugs to you all who have posted here.
Yes I remember you. lauradin and karen from Cork.
Sitting her with tears streaming down my face. I always wondered about us all, so good to hear from you.

Ladies we all have a strong bond, nothing can change that. But how wonderfull to hear your voices. Isnt it great. I never dreamed the response my post would get. At last. Not silent anymore.

Mazdoll

karen from cork · 29-06-2011 7:03pm

hi mazdoll, ya the years have made me a stronger person , but i do often regret giving my baby up , then i think i probably would not have met my husband , who i told from the very beginning about my little girl he was very supportive. unfortunatly i had signed all the adoption paper work at that stage be4 i met him ,which was a yr and a half later , he often said to me that he would have loved my daughter as his own if we had met b4 i had signed my papers , isnt life strange !!! well we have 3 other children who are my pride and joy , but still miss my first . I cant place u mazdoll , were u up in the private rooms !!!thats what i used to call them as they were up a little stairs ? i remember that summer i was so hot and we used to sit out the back and sometimes those of us that were legal used go to the pub to have a glass of guinness to keep our iron levels up !!! then if there was a good movie on and the lights out were i think 11. some of the girls used to sneak down to watch a movie , were u one of those rebels.

karen from cork · 30-06-2011 9:24pm

babyblessed, thank u from karen from cork

kk1990 · 02-07-2011 4:26pm

i cant believe i finally found something about ard mhuire i was there from 1st april to 1st august 1988 and made so many good friends who we could never make contact with again( for obvious reasons) i think about ye all often and would love to meet with ye all again i had a baby boy who i kept i'd love to hear from ye all again

martin1357 · 04-07-2011 5:58pm

Hi everyone.
my name is martin and I am trying to contact someone whom I was going out with in 75.She was pregnant when we met I was prepared to stand by her but her family wouldn't hear of it and sent her to dunboyne mother and baby home (She was 16)Her Name was Eilish ( won't tell her surname) there from Jan 75 til April 75 approx. Baby adopted against her will and mine.she was from Athlone I used to visit every sunday I am from NI now living and a magistrate in Leicester England. Grateful for any help god bless you all

karen from cork · 05-07-2011 3:25pm

hi martin , seen yr post , that must have been very hard for u. If u go to the first page of posts there might be some useful info there , also maybe this lady and her child have made contact already ,just wondering why now u want to make contact , and also if this lady has a family of her own now she may not want to be dragging up the past! put i do know that if u have her surname the tax office or social welfare would have a current address hopefully , tread carefully. good luck karen

tyview · 05-07-2011 7:01pm

Hi Martin,
Just wondering if you've put your name on the contact preference register? It might be a long shot but you never know. Best of luck!

Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

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