Verging on heterophobia!!

maryd83 · 14-02-2011 06:57PM #1

To anyone who goes to PrHomo on a Thursday, have you noticed a) the severe lack of feminine lebians and b) the incredible mass of straight women. The place is constantly FULL of straight people. Me and my friend were discussing this on the night. Around 2/3 of the women in there are straight. This was uncovered through actually asking and gaydar. Please!! Every day is straight gay! give me a break!

Endymion · 14-02-2011 07:03PM

You could always hit on them aggressively.

maryd83 · 14-02-2011 07:07PM

I could...

But, if they're straight that might be energy spent in vain methinks. It seems to be fine if you're a guy. Really gorgeous gay guys around. Lucky bastards...

deirdre_dub · 14-02-2011 07:30PM

maryd83 wrote: »

To anyone who goes to PrHomo on a Thursday, have you noticed ... the incredible mass of straight women.

Straight women (trust me) can get quite sick of being constantly hit on by straight men - sometimes, we just want a good girlie night out. It's nothing to do with anti-lesbianism or with trying to take over your space - it has to do with said straight women trying to find a place to just have a good night out.

Morag · 14-02-2011 07:34PM

And how do you know they are straight?
Chances are some of them are bi.

maryd83 · 14-02-2011 08:11PM

Oh come on. Men are not that bad. So many men hit on you you seek refuge in a gay bar? Seriously? Anyway, even though I don't like men in that way, being hit on by one is flattering, regardless.

I clearly can't know all of them are gay but I know quite a number are straight as I initially explained to avoid the inevitable "How do you know they're straight?' question. Also, I have eyes. Even though I am feminine and skirt wearing myself, you just know.

Rev Hellfire · 14-02-2011 09:08PM

maryd83 wrote: »

The place is constantly FULL of straight people.

I must say I'm surprised at this attitude, surely this is a good thing in that it shows that (straight) people are becoming comfortable in gay venues. Surely such things can only improve integration and acceptance all round.

L.Jenkins · 14-02-2011 09:19PM

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

I must say I'm surprised at this attitude, surely this is a good thing in that it shows that (straight) people are becoming comfortable in gay venues. Surely such things can only improve integration and acceptance all round.

But I'm sure it gets annoying when every second or third person you chat up is actually gay.

Rev Hellfire · 14-02-2011 09:39PM

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

But I'm sure it gets annoying when every second or third person you chat up is actually gay.

As annoying as the idea that not every girl a straight bloke approaches may be interested in them also.

Endymion · 14-02-2011 10:05PM

Generally (and the statement is sweeping) straight women in gay venues are there for the gay guys, and can react very negatively to gay women. But it's not really fair to moan about the place being full of hetros, it's up there with moaning about the place being full of fat chicks.

strobe · 14-02-2011 10:25PM

Endymion wrote: »

You could always hit on them aggressively.

Endymion · 14-02-2011 10:57PM

Why not?

Morag · 15-02-2011 11:00AM

maryd83 wrote: »

Oh come on. Men are not that bad. So many men hit on you you seek refuge in a gay bar? Seriously? Anyway, even though I don't like men in that way, being hit on by one is flattering, regardless.

Some are that bad, esp if a girl is young and good looking.
I brought a friend with me to Panti Bar one evening and she could not get over how she was able to relax on a night out with being leered at, leched on and groped. Mind you she did find it hard to get served at the bar which made me a laugh a lot.

maryd83 wrote: »

I clearly can't know all of them are gay but I know quite a number are straight as I initially explained to avoid the inevitable "How do you know they're straight?' question. Also, I have eyes. Even though I am feminine and skirt wearing myself, you just know.

You can't tell just from looking at a person if they are straight/gay/bi.

Endymion · 15-02-2011 11:10AM

Sharrow wrote: »

Some are that bad, esp if a girl is young and good looking.
I brought a friend with me to Panti Bar one evening and she could not get over how she was able to relax on a night out with being leered at, leched on and groped. Mind you she did find it hard to get served at the bar which made me a laugh a lot.

I was sitting in panti with my partner a few months back when this group of drunken slags came in and sat down basically on top of us. One of them started telling me how she hated that we were gay because we're gorgeous. I remember thinking, yea right, you wouldn't look at me twice in a straight bar.

baby and crumble · 15-02-2011 11:51AM

I think the part that annoys a lot of lesbians at these events is that surprisingly often, the straight girls that are they get offended if you hit on them. Like how could you think they were lesbians , EWWWWW! You know? It's not a problem that straight girls go, at least not from my point of view. Then again, I'm not on the pull, and usually it's myself and my friends (who are pretty much all straight) going and having some fun somewhere where myself and my girlfriend can feel comfortable holding hands and kissing occasionally.

but I do know this has come up as an issue on Running Amach too, actually. But if my friends want to come on a night out with me, I make sure they know that it's likely they'll be hit on by girls (most of my friends are hot, to be honest!) and they're fine with it. Like someone else said, it's flattering. Perhaps the gay guys don't let their female friends know there'll be gay girls there on the prowl too...

Then again, my girlfriend always gets mistaken for straight as an arrow in a lot of places.

She SO isn't.

:cool::D

Morag · 15-02-2011 12:01PM

Endymion wrote: »

I was sitting in panti with my partner a few months back when this group of drunken slags came in and sat down basically on top of us. One of them started telling me how she hated that we were gay because we're gorgeous. I remember thinking, yea right, you wouldn't look at me twice in a straight bar.

That is disgusting behaviour and not how I or my friends would behave on a night out.

zoegh wrote: »

I think the part that annoys a lot of lesbians at these events is that surprisingly often, the straight girls that are they get offended if you hit on them. Like how could you think they were lesbians , EWWWWW! You know?

Again inconsiderate behaviour when out in a gay or gay friendly venue.

zoegh wrote: »

It's not a problem that straight girls go, at least not from my point of view. Then again, I'm not on the pull, and usually it's myself and my friends (who are pretty much all straight) going and having some fun somewhere where myself and my girlfriend can feel comfortable holding hands and kissing occasionally.

Which is nice that they are supportive of you as a couple and I am sure helps with keeping enough money going to the bar to keep the venue happy to have a gay/gay friendly night.

zoegh wrote: »

but I do know this has come up as an issue on Running Amach too, actually. But if my friends want to come on a night out with me, I make sure they know that it's likely they'll be hit on by girls (most of my friends are hot, to be honest!) and they're fine with it. Like someone else said, it's flattering. Perhaps the gay guys don't let their female friends know there'll be gay girls there on the prowl too...

I could understand a hetro girl being taken aback if it's the first time it happens but there are just some women who frankly lack class. I have heard harsh words on a nigh out when a hetrogirl was rebuffing a lady making a pass and have had a word in her ear about it. That is how the scene and 'community' self polices.

zoegh wrote: »

Then again, my girlfriend always gets mistaken for straight as an arrow in a lot of places.

She SO isn't. :cool::D

That is annoying, I have been told I wasn't welcome at events, usually by someone 15 years younger then me who's hardly been out a wet week.
Just because a person is gay or bi doesn't mean they can't be ignorant or closed minded.

BanzaiBk · 15-02-2011 12:18PM

Whenever I see advertising for this place I always wonder how it's pronounced

liah · 15-02-2011 12:30PM

maryd83 wrote: »

Oh come on. Men are not that bad. So many men hit on you you seek refuge in a gay bar? Seriously? Anyway, even though I don't like men in that way, being hit on by one is flattering, regardless.

Have you not been out before?

Men are that bad (well, some of them, anyway). I can completely understand why straight girls would go to a gay bar, there's more nights I've been groped or grabbed or sleazed upon than nights I haven't in 'straight' pubs/clubs and I'm nothing special to look at.

Back on topic though, I don't understand why they'd get offended if they got hit on while there.. seems kind of stupid. I mean, what exactly are they expecting to happen? At least a lot of gay girls aren't typically as aggressive about it as a lot of straight males.

Chuchoter · 15-02-2011 03:50PM

I can understand why straight women would want to come (men are that bad!) however it does kind of piss me off that some straight women seem to view gay venues as totally free of people who might be interested in them and full of their new GBFs. I sort of do feel like every day is straight day, and then the one place you think you could rest assured that the odds are with you that the girl you like is at least the same sexuality turns out to be full of straight girls.

wonderfulname · 15-02-2011 07:39PM

So does that mean I'm not allowed go out with my straight friends any more because I'm wasting men's valuable mate searching time? And should I ensure that I only go out on couples nights?

You go out to have a good time, you go out to a gay venue to have a good time without worry of homophobia, meeting someone should just be a perk wherever you go.

strobe · 15-02-2011 08:34PM

Endymion wrote: »

Why not?

Why was I not sure if you were serious?

Because it was a bizarrely creepy response to the OP if so.

Annasopra · 15-02-2011 09:36PM

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

I must say I'm surprised at this attitude, surely this is a good thing in that it shows that (straight) people are becoming comfortable in gay venues. Surely such things can only improve integration and acceptance all round.

Not when they are obnoxiously Homophobic towards lesbians which can happen sometimes

Rev Hellfire · 15-02-2011 09:59PM

Johnnymcg wrote: »

Not when they are obnoxiously Homophobic towards lesbians which can happen sometimes

Well you would think that it would go without saying that anyone attending a gay venue would be comfortable with the idea they may be approached and a simple not interested would suffice.

Annasopra · 15-02-2011 10:56PM

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Well you would think that it would go without saying that anyone attending a gay venue would be comfortable with the idea they may be approached and a simple not interested would suffice.

You would think but as has been stated above this is not always the case

MJRS · 16-02-2011 07:37AM

What would the alternative be OP? Not let straight people into gay bars? Most of my friends are straight and male, it didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't ask for them to come with me to a gay bar in case some lads are disappointed they're not gay :-/

Endymion · 16-02-2011 11:39AM

strobe wrote: »

Why was I not sure if you were serious?

Because it was a bizarrely creepy response to the OP if so.

Ah here, what's the point in going out if you can't have a bit of sport.

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Well you would think that it would go without saying that anyone attending a gay venue would be comfortable with the idea they may be approached and a simple not interested would suffice.

You would think it, but it's no the case. Male homosexuality is non threatening, Female homosexuality can be even more threatening, for whatever reasons. All that's a side point though, the main motivation I've found behind these objections (Though I think it's bull****) is that straight women narrow the pool of potential partners on a night out.

twinQuins · 16-02-2011 04:31PM

Has it ever occurred to these women to start their own bar where no one will hit on them?

A part of me wonders if they actually enjoy the attention.

BanzaiBk · 16-02-2011 04:49PM

Qu♊n♊ne wrote: »

A part of me wonders if they actually enjoy the attention.

Of course they do! Not all of course, but a lot.

17-02-2011 12:49PM

Qu♊n♊ne wrote: »

Has it ever occurred to these women to start their own bar where no one will hit on them?

One where men and gay women aren't allowed? Both policies are illegal

Endymion · 17-02-2011 01:35PM

28064212 wrote: »

One where men and gay women aren't allowed? Both policies are illegal

You're illegal!!!!!!

They could set up a private members bar. Example, the law society bar, were the requirement is to be a wanker.

LegacyUser · 17-02-2011 03:57PM

crayolastereo wrote: »

I can understand why straight women would want to come (men are that bad!) however it does kind of piss me off that some straight women seem to view gay venues as totally free of people who might be interested in them and full of their new GBFs. I sort of do feel like every day is straight day, and then the one place you think you could rest assured that the odds are with you that the girl you like is at least the same sexuality turns out to be full of straight girls.

"Every day is like straight day" That is EXACTLY what I said when I was ranting about this to my friends. Is it so wrong to want to meet gay people in a gay bar?

Verging on heterophobia!!

Comments