What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

Musefan · 07-02-2011 04:08AM

Not my stupid claim to fame, but my other half's.

When playing a war game on a particularly foggy morning as a teenager, he broke his nose.
With all the fog, he ended up breaking it by running into the side of a cow.

Tar.Aldarion · 07-02-2011 04:18AM

left the tap running for ages in the nightclub I was working in, on the floor, the second floor. Cost em 10k to fix or something.

jugger0 · 07-02-2011 04:30AM

Stuck my finger inside a coke can and spun it around, only because my mam said "dont put your finger in the coke can!" blood everywhere.

When i was 8 my sister took the shade off a lamp and told me to suck the bulb to see was it nice, scalded my mouth, that was probably the worst... never forgive her for that.

Aoifey! · 07-02-2011 07:01AM

When I was 5 or 6 I was at my brother's confirmation, and we were sitting up near the front of the church. I guess I thought the kids getting confirmed were getting too much attention so I stood up on the seat in front of everyone and pulled my pretty little dress over my head so people'd pay attention to me. Mother wasn't too pleased to say the least

Azureus · 07-02-2011 08:08AM

Was helping the mammy do the food shop and said go on, you have a smoke and i'll load the shopping into the boot...
She came back 5 mins later to a red-faced me trying to open the locked boot. Id locked the car keys inside

had to smash a window to get home... was suprised that she just laughed even though it prob cost her a fair bit to fix!

phill106 · 07-02-2011 08:13AM

Musefan wrote: »

Not my stupid claim to fame, but my other half's.

When playing a war game on a particularly foggy morning as a teenager, he broke his nose.
With all the fog, he ended up breaking it by running into the side of a cow.

Is that how he met you?

nosey rosie · 07-02-2011 08:29AM

Lending sixty quid to an American guy once, who in retrospect, was a bum/scam artist :mad:

07-02-2011 09:42AM

Actually forgot about this one, made a small mistake in my old job that cost the company the equivalent of one year's salary. Who'd have thought that not sending one email could be so expensive.

housetypeb · 07-02-2011 10:13AM

When i was young,around 7 or 8, i had my identical twin brother convinced that he was adopted, told him our parents had seen him in an orphanage and noticed that he looked like me and so decided to bring him home so i would have someone to play with.

cock robin · 07-02-2011 11:22AM

Got married, had kids that is all.

reap-a-rat · 07-02-2011 11:33AM

cock robin wrote: »

Got married, had kids that is all.

:eek: cock robin posting in a thread started by killer pigeon, that's brave:eek:!

dahat · 07-02-2011 12:04PM

Borrowed way too much in the boom years.suffering now but at least when i die
i cant answer the phone to them!

Pupito · 07-02-2011 12:14PM

I washed out my own mouth with soap and water as a child. It was threatened as a punishment so often I kinda had to see what it was actually like. Bubbly, was the answer.

Wolf Club · 07-02-2011 12:22PM

The other day i sprayed shaving foam in my arm pit, I'm not sure if it's the most retarded thing I've done in my entire life, but it's certainly the most retarded thing I've done in the last week.

crazygeryy · 07-02-2011 12:28PM

mgbgt1978 wrote: »

That reminds me. My brother used to have a dog called Syndrome.
He was always jumping up on things and I remember we all used to shout.........;);)

that has to be one of the funniest things ive read in a long time.no disrespect to anyone.

when i was 5 i drank turpentine(meth spirits)i thought it was 7 up.straight to the hospital for a good stomach pumping.

Duggy747 · 07-02-2011 12:33PM

At a house party a girl was hosting, she wanted to get with me, my nose was running because of a bloody cat in the house but I managed to contain it for the most part.

We shifted and carried on talking throughout the night when my nose suddenly drooped snot out of it and onto her couch right in front of her.

And since her name was Shona I kept calling her Sonia because I know so many girls called that.............which resulted in her running off and crying.

Any chance of nooky that night were quickly ruined thanks to a mixture of incorrect names and snots.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 07-02-2011 12:42PM

Princess Peach wrote: »

I don't think I'm allowed to post his name.

Thats easy, its someone who 'thanked' your post!.

Hank Scorpio · 07-02-2011 01:15PM

Came home after a night out in college and put a pizza in the oven and watched some tv. Must have fell asleep like 20 seconds later.

My room mate must have come home a couple of hours after me and woke me up, he had to violently shake me cause i was out cold. Room was pure black with smoke and the oven a total wreck.

I had covered the smoke alarms around the place cause we used to smoke inside and were abit paranoid about them, life lesson learned there. If he hadent of come home I woulda been in serious trouble.

fred252 · 07-02-2011 01:23PM

trying a half pipe (about 6 feet high on either side) on rollerblades having only just learnt to rollerblade that day.

lets just say my face broke my fall

El_Paolo · 07-02-2011 01:36PM

For some reason, I decided a few weeks ago to lick the metal end of my laptop charger, while it was plugged in. Got a serious shock:o

kfallon · 07-02-2011 01:50PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Any chance of nooky that night were quickly ruined thanks to a mixture of incorrect names and snots.

Surely you wanked into her wash basket tho as compensation..... :pac:

Killer Pigeon · 07-02-2011 01:59PM

Muhahahaha! Nearly 20,000 views, soon the name "Killer Pigeon" will live in infamy on the interwebs.

reap-a-rat wrote: »

:eek: cock robin posting in a thread started by killer pigeon, that's brave:eek:!

Yes, I'll be the cock.

Ledger · 07-02-2011 02:33PM

When i was 2, pulled kettle of boiling water onto myself.:eek:

Cue about a month in Cork Uni Hospital.

Years ago, when I was about 14, was on a sure thing with this 16 year old girl I was trying to get 'the shift' off while on hols in Killarney, let her look through my phone, forgetting what was on it.

Needless to say she wasn't interested in after that.

Pupito · 07-02-2011 03:19PM

Had a momentous brain-fart as a seven-year-old. I judged my bladder was full, so instead of going to the toilet I walked out to the kitchen, lifted up the bin-lid and peed in there. I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing until my father walked in and clipped me round the ear.

Genghiz Cohen · 07-02-2011 03:59PM

Pupito wrote: »

Had a momentous brain-fart as a seven-year-old. I judged my bladder was full, so instead of going to the toilet I walked out to the kitchen, lifted up the bin-lid and peed in there. I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing until my father walked in and clipped me round the ear.

Oh!
My!
Fudging!
Science!

You just reminded me, I did the same thing!
With the same results

Cheeky_gal · 07-02-2011 04:11PM

I counted all points in 7 subjects in the Leaving Cert and went home screaming "I got 440!! i got 440!!" until my brother had a look at them and said "ehhh, you actually got 390, you're only meant to count the best six".

Fcuk it still got the course I wanted.

woodsy2 · 07-02-2011 05:04PM

During the summer, me and two friends decided to go for a little wander up a hill in the not-so-far distance. Google maps assured us , :rolleyes:, there was a forest track leading to a firebreak in the hill's tree plantation and that we would be able to just walk right to the top from there. Anyway, the road stopped short of the treeline, but there was a large enough hole in a bush infront of us and we figured: "Hey we can probably get to the treeline though there farily quickly". Not a smart idea

Long story short we spent three hours crawling on our hands and knees in such dense, spiky gorse that we couldn't even see the sky. Due to the fact it was a warm day, we were only wearing shorts and t-shirts. Passed by a dog's skeleton on the way through it all , very disconcerting. Eventually made it to a service path for an electricity pylon and walked straight out of the forest and home to clean the cuts now covering our hands, legs and backs.

Eric Cartman · 07-02-2011 08:19PM

got drunk at a house party then accepted a dare to down a litre of sambucah , did it and all, collapsed 20 mins later apparantly ( i can remember nothing) but apparantly was left facing up in my bed, a mate whos a nurse came in and turned me just before i got sick in my sleep - if only for that would be dead now - most retarded thing ever, couldnt keep anything down for 3 days

Spook80 · 07-02-2011 09:09PM

i joined a rival football team for about £50million cause i wanted to win more trophies but now i feel i dont fit in well and my old club will probably finish higher. :mad:

justified · 07-02-2011 09:10PM

El_Paolo wrote: »

For some reason, I decided a few weeks ago to lick the metal end of my laptop charger, while it was plugged in. Got a serious shock:o

I did exactly the same thing a month or two ago! I feel your pain...:o

What's the most retarded thing you've done in your entire life?

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