Whats your favourite saying of all time -motivational humourous or otherwise

swarm.of.bees · 11-01-2011 10:18PM

You can lead a horse to water - but a pencil must be lead.

Funny, cos pencils are actually made from graphite and wood and not lead at all!! How I laughed...

Riddle101 · 11-01-2011 10:21PM

These aren't really saying but some quotes/jokes that I like

After the 1916 Rising, Nancy O' Brien has a few words with her cousin Micheal Collins, as the Risers march through the streets. It's nor really a quote but I like what he says

Nancy O Brien: What will you do now?

Micheal Collins: Do? sure i'll get ready for the next round. I've got all the names all taken down, the besht of min(Best of Men)
...
Mary: What? how are you going to train them?

Micheal: Sure won't his majesty's government train them for me

Also

You can have my gun, when you pry it from my cold dead fingers"- Edgar, Men In Black

"And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike down apon thee with great vengence and furious anger"-Ezekiel 25:17

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil"-The 23rd Psalm
...
"There are four lines of equal length, how long will Kerry Katona be in the bathroom"- Frankie Boyle

"The most scottish thing i've ever seen. I was in this town called, Basque and I saw this guy pissing on a door. He then took out his keys and went inside"- Frankie Boyle

Gracelessly Tom · 11-01-2011 10:26PM

"We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing" George Bernard Shaw.

carfiosaoorl · 11-01-2011 10:30PM

When life hands you lemons squirt them in peoples eyes

punchdrunk · 11-01-2011 10:36PM

Clay Davis,the wire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0hjSaYCRnA&feature=related

Savage Tyrant · 11-01-2011 11:28PM

"Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane"

Taco Corp · 12-01-2011 12:09AM

There's no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people.

Copper23 · 12-01-2011 12:23AM

J2D2 wrote: »

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."

Christ

J2D2 · 12-01-2011 12:39AM

Copper23 wrote: »

Christ

I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan at your service.

chrisxii · 14-01-2011 12:54PM

When someone gives you something "You shouldn't have but I'm really glad you did".:D

bc dub · 14-01-2011 01:20PM

you are on a rock floating thru space

tony007 · 14-01-2011 01:42PM

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

Vicxas · 14-01-2011 01:45PM

Those two are ridin' on the sly!

sipstrassi · 14-01-2011 01:49PM

What would you expect from an ass but a kick.

timewilltell · 14-01-2011 01:49PM

'If he was anymore inbred he'd be a sandwich'

My dad about a man in our area.

sensibleken · 14-01-2011 02:22PM

stateofflux wrote: »

groucho marx ftw all the way

my 5 personal favs:

"i intend to live forever or die trying'

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others"

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."

"I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it."

Go! and never darken my towels again!

sensibleken · 14-01-2011 02:26PM

"Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers."

"I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard."

"People often think I'm from Kent. I hear them whisper it as I walk past."

---Bob Monkhouse, underapreciated genius

Rebel021 · 14-01-2011 02:32PM

The curse of F**k upon you
My dad always says it

Funkfield · 14-01-2011 02:42PM

"The meaning of life is that it stops" - Franz Kafka

The guy · 14-01-2011 02:43PM

TouchingVirus wrote: »

Following the detonation of a nuclear bomb during the Manhatten Project, the head of the project, Dr Robert Oppenheimer, said the following:

"If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one. Now I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds."

It's from the Baghavad Gita and it's imagery sticks with me though I hope to never witness it myself.

I love that quote, this is brilliant.

s_carnage · 14-01-2011 02:47PM

"Take a bow son, take a bow" Andy Gray

The man is like a modern day Joyce with the expressions he comes out with. A legend that will live on through centuries.

Scrambled egg · 14-01-2011 03:06PM

'Theres 3 types of people in the world ; those who can count , and those who can't.'

Rebel021 · 14-01-2011 03:13PM

s_carnage wrote: »

"Take a bow son, take a bow" Andy Gray

The man is like a modern day Joyce with the expressions he comes out with. A legend that will live on through centuries.

That man is a gibbering gimp:mad:

uch · 14-01-2011 03:32PM

Do Farts have lumps?

.same. · 15-01-2011 03:17AM

The Thin Red Line
Everything's a lie. Everything you hear, everything you see. So much to spew out. They just keep coming, one after another. You're in a box. A moving box. They want you dead, or in their lie... There's only one thing a man can do - find something that's his, and make an island for himself. If I never meet you in this life, let me feel the lack; a glance from your eyes, and my life will be yours.