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Would you get married ?

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    #92
    FreudianSlippers
    Registered Users Posts: 20,397 ✭✭✭✭FreudianSlippers


    I'm male - No
    Prenups aren't worth the paper they're written on in the US and especially here.

    Any lawyer worth their weight can contest one in 5 minutes.


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    #93
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    I'm female - No
    sharing tax credits,inheritance tax,guardian ship rights,visas...lots of good reasons.


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    #94
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    mikom wrote: »
    An anagram of marriage is "A grim era"

    Then when married there is a `mother in law - "woman hitler"


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    #95
    rainbow kirby
    Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    I'm female - No
    If I met the right person, I would. Unfortunately I don't legally have that option in this country at the moment (and civil partnership is merely a half-measure).


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    #96
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    Caliden wrote: »
    Alot of weirdos in here.
    Why wouldnt you get married if you loved someone?

    Seems to be you're trying just a little bit too hard to be different and not get married.

    Just get married because everyone else does then is it?


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    #97
    Dionysus
    Registered Users Posts: 3,420 ✭✭✭Dionysus


    High energy wrote: »
    I was talking to some female friends about this last week and couldn't make sense of their logic behind marriage. Personally I think it's a waste of time and money for the following reasons:

    Girls: It's to prove you love each other
    Me: Neither my girlfriend nor I need a church or state issued document to prove we love each other

    Girls: Well if you ever have kids it's better to be married
    Me: That's stupid , if I have kids and some day want to break up with their mother, a document won't stop me doing that

    Girls: Well every girl dreams of her wedding day from a young age
    Me: - couldn't really answer this one, however still don't think it justifies marriage

    I also argued that it just creates a monster headache if you ever decide to break up regarding transfer of assets etc.

    The ONLY practical reason I can think of is if 1 person in the marriage is on a high salary and can transfer the spouses tax credits to themself. Other than that I'd rather spend the €10,000 - €20,000 that weddings cost these days going on a mad round the world trip for a year.

    Your thoughts?

    You're not meant to 'make sense of it'. It just 'is', as is the case with so many of the thoughts, preoccupations, priorities and conceits of so many females. They may not matter to you, but they matter to them.

    As time goes on, most men develop a greater understanding of this, a greater acceptance, a greater empathy. The preference of the average woman is no less silly than the preoccupation of the average man with sex. The amount of irrational things guys do, and promise, just for sex is cringe-worthy. Not to mention the guys who get obsessed with soccer or Formula 1 and get totally silly and irrational about such things. They are in no position to deride women.


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    #98
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    Dionysus wrote: »
    You're not meant to 'make sense of it'. It just 'is', as is the case with so many of the thoughts, preoccupations, priorities and conceits of so many females. They may not matter to you, but they matter to them.

    As time goes on, most men develop a greater understanding of this, a greater acceptance, a greater empathy. The preference of the average woman is no less silly than the preoccupation of the average man with sex. The amount of irrational things guys do, and promise, just for sex is cringe-worthy. Not to mention the guys who get obsessed with soccer or Formula 1 and get totally silly and irrational about such things. They are in no position to deride women.

    A greater realisation that just agreeing with them is less hassle:pac:


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    #99
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'm male - No
    People get married because everyone is the star of their own little romantic comedy with all the hi-jinks that ensue, but don't realise that just because they want to love someone and trick themselves into believing they do that they are not really suited well to eachother so they use the old adage "opposites attract" to justify it when in reality the majority of people are just afraid of being alone and feel marriage provides security.

    That said, I would get married if I was in love with someone and there was a practical reason like we were separated by borders and we needed to get married so both could live and work in the same country.

    I, as a man, would also marry for money if it came down to huge sums, I would go for it, might as well live the good life.

    I would also marry for the party, I don't care how much a girl dreams of the "perfect" wedding day, they are all basically the same old bullsh1t anyway, I would go registry and then drop 15 grand on Booze and food and rent a marquee. Open bar FTW. Get everyone locked and then just have a laugh. Screw dresses and tuxes....OK I would wear a tux, but only because I look damn good in one! :D


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    #100
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    I'm female - Yes
    Only reason I could see for getting married would be if ones partner was a non-EU citizen without leave to remain.

    I think its the height of insanity that so many couples who (generally speaking) at a time in their lives when they most need to be saving money (setting up house/having kids and wotnot) are prepared to blow twenty grand in a single day on a p1$$ up for their embarrasing relatives. (Yes I know its theoretically possible to get married for a few hundred pounds/euro but how often does this happen in the real world ?)
    OisinT wrote: »
    Prenups aren't worth the paper they're written on in the US
    Does that not depend on which state one marries in ?

    They are countries where the are legally binding. Poland being one.
    gothicus wrote: »
    Marrige is christian belief, why in this day and age people who are not practicing christians still choose to get married is so hypocritical.

    Does that include Jews/Hindus/Muslims/Just about every other major religion/even avowedl Atheist regiemes (like communist-era Albania)

    Christianity may have a lot to answer for but its a bit unfair pinning this one on them.
    foaltrace wrote: »
    Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa.

    (At the risk of stating the blindingly obvious)
    FAIL !


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    #101
    Dionysus
    Registered Users Posts: 3,420 ✭✭✭Dionysus


    robbie7730 wrote: »
    A greater realisation that just agreeing with them is less hassle:pac:

    'less hassle' being directly related to 'more sex', if we're to break this one down. ;)


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    #102
    KnifeWRENCH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    I'm male - No
    Sisko wrote: »
    Are you saying your Bi? Lol :p

    Yes.

    Not exactly blessed with success though. In either direction. :pac:


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    #103
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    foaltrace wrote: »
    Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa, and thus by hogging more than your fair share you're doing people short.......

    This has to be one of the worst statemements i ever seen on boards,

    I bet there are a few who were very happily married, then tragedy, and the surviving person ends up happily married again, and there ends the validity of the ridiculous statement above


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    #104
    gsxr1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,167 ✭✭✭gsxr1


    I'm male - No
    Even if you are not prepared to consider marriage now and cant see your self changing your mind..

    The love of a beautiful woman and maybe children can very quickly change it

    As one gets older, your outlook on life matures also.


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    #105
    gonedrinking
    Closed Accounts Posts: 810 ✭✭✭gonedrinking


    I'm female - Yes
    I don't know any happy married couples, in fact I don't know any couples who have been together for more than 5 years and are still happy.


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    #106
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    gonedrinking wrote: »
    I don't know any happy married couples, in fact I don't know any couples who have been together for more than 5 years and are still happy.


    I saw one once, o wait,, no, it was a film


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    #107
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'm male - No
    foaltrace wrote: »
    Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa, and thus by hogging more than your fair share you're doing people short.......If you take a step back and look at the wider implications of your actions on the well-being of society it's not hard to see how polygamy is not a moral life-choice.

    Do you actually believe that tripe? Or do you mean in a 50/50 way of humans existing.

    What about Gay people? Is there noone out there for them?

    If you mean only one person that someone could happily live with for the rest of their lives, a soul mate if you will. Then I am laughing in your face.


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    #108
    foaltrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭foaltrace


    I'm male - No
    Sisko wrote: »
    I don't even know where to begin with such a mental post. I may as well try and argue with someone from 60 years ago who thinks everyone should only ever have one sexual relationship for the entire lives. As doing otherwise would have bad implications for society and is an immoral life choice.

    Pointless.

    Don't know where to start? Could that possibly be because I might actually be right?

    But perhaps you are right. Perhaps trying to live by a moral philosophy is old-fashioned. Perhaps life is best lived without worrying about the consequences of our actions unless they're immediately apparent. Trying to be civilised is for nerds amirite?

    As for the "one sexual relationship" thing. While I'm not saying i agree with it, is it at least possible that there could be some wisdom behind it.
    There is something seriously ****ed up about today's society. Families are breaking down left right and center, not to mention the amount of children who are growing up without a real father.
    Do you have an explaination for this trend? Or do you think everything's hunky dory and things should continue like this forever.

    Some people on the internet love to say that humans have evolved in such a way that we are not capable of monogamy but I wouldn't be so pessimistic. I'd like to think that while monogamy may be a challenge, it's not impossible.
    Is it possible that the way some people behave today is making it harder for them to have successful monogamous relationships down the road? Are there ways we could make it easier on ourselves?
    Perhaps if we did limit our sexual encounters, or at least the casual flippancy with which we slide in and out of intense romantic relationships, we wouldn't find monogamy so difficult. Maybe sticking with our partner untill the kids are grown up would be easy as pie!
    I'm not saying "no sex before marriage", nor am i saying people should be forced to act in any way.
    But if we can choose to forgo the intense short-term pleasure of drugs such as crack and heroin for our ultimate long-term happines, is it really that far of a stretch to consider that perhaps some voluntary restraint in our sexual/romantic behaviour would leave us happier in the long-term?

    Now. Perhaps I'm playing devil's advocate with this argument, or maybe the views expressed here are genuinely mine. Does it really matter?
    The central point is not to be so quick in dismissing arguments. Especially for silly reasons like "they look superficialy like an "old-fashioned" argument", or they go against what you'd like to believe".

    ;)


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    #109
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    minidazzler wrote: »
    Do you actually believe that tripe? Or do you mean in a 50/50 way of humans existing.

    What about Gay people? Is there noone out there for them?

    If you mean only one person that someone could happily live with for the rest of their lives, a soul mate if you will. Then I am laughing in your face.

    Thats what it looks like they mean, so a given person has 1 person out of hundreds of millions, so what is the chance of meeting them. Or will an irish person conviently have their single suitable match also in ireland? Or in the same county?

    And they said
    foaltrace
    Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa, and thus by hogging more than your fair share you're doing people short.......

    So if you have 2 partners what is the chance of them 2 both ever meeting their 1 suitable partner each anyway.


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    #110
    foaltrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭foaltrace


    I'm male - No
    minidazzler wrote: »
    Do you actually believe that tripe? Or do you mean in a 50/50 way of humans existing.

    What about Gay people? Is there noone out there for them?

    If you mean only one person that someone could happily live with for the rest of their lives, a soul mate if you will. Then I am laughing in your face.
    I mean for example in Ireland there are lets say roughly 2million men and 2million women. In the fairest, happiest society- everyone who wants to reproduce and have a loving relationship would get a chance. We take it for granted that we're almost guaranteed the chance to mate if we want to. But if we lived in a society where for example every man takes 3 wives, then 2/3 men would not get to mate, even if they desperately want to! I don't think that's fair.

    I don't believe in soul mates.
    robbie7730 wrote: »
    This has to be one of the worst statemements i ever seen on boards,

    I bet there are a few who were very happily married, then tragedy, and the surviving person ends up happily married again, and there ends the validity of the ridiculous statement above
    I don't see anything wrong with getting yourself a partner if you find yourself single for whatever reason, and i hardly expect gay people to force themselves into straight relationships.

    My problem is with people hogging multiple partners for themselves at the same time. If some guy decides to have 3 wives instead of 1, then as a result two guys out there somewhere are likely to die alone (i know it's not that simple but you know what i mean).
    Mike 1972 wrote: »


    (At the risk of stating the blindingly obvious)
    FAIL !

    Elaborate? Or was there the same misunderstanding?


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    #111
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'm male - No
    robbie7730 wrote: »
    Thats what it looks like they mean, so a given person has 1 person out of hundreds of millions, so what is the chance of meeting them. Or will an irish person conviently have their single suitable match also in ireland? Or in the same county?

    And they said

    Exactly my point. How convenient that you're ONE True love out of 3.7 billion members of the opposite sex and 3.7 billion of the same sex, happened to just live less than 20 minutes away from you when you were growing up.

    Last girl I love, lives 7200 Km away from me and it happened purely by chance with so many ways that it just could have not...if there was gonna be true love (which I don't believe in) then that seems about right doesn't it?

    For a straight person there are so many options that having ONE true love is incongruous. It just doesn't fit, especially when they live down the road from you. You just didn't look at other options.


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    #112
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    I'm female - Yes
    robbie7730 wrote: »
    I bet there are a few who were very happily married, then tragedy, and the surviving person ends up happily married again, and there ends the validity of the ridiculous statement above

    Funny how this one magical person almost invariably happens to live within (maximum) an hours drive as opposed to say somewhere in Bhutan


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    #113
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'm male - No
    foaltrace wrote: »
    I mean for example in Ireland there are lets say roughly 2million men and 2million women. In the fairest, happiest society- everyone who wants to reproduce and have a loving relationship would get a chance. I don't believe in soul mates.

    But that would lead to alot of weak gene's surviving. And severely limits the pool to an eventual inbreeding.

    Also, life just isn't fair. And who says the happiest society is one where we all have one person to reproduce with?

    I would think the happiest society is one where all people do as they please with eachother as long as it's consentual and it does not need to lead to conception. Whether 2 males, 2 females or a mixture. May not be fair given that ugly people wouldn't get laid as much, but c'est la vie.
    Mike 1972 wrote: »
    Funny how this one magical person almost invariably happens to live within (maximum) an hours drive as opposed to say somewhere in Bhutan

    And how if it's outside that it was "not meant to be" in most cases.


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    #114
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    foaltrace wrote: »
    Families are breaking down left right and center, not to mention the amount of children who are growing up without a real father.

    Do you have an explaination for this trend?

    I do, its called life. We are not designed to be with one person for life. Society and civilisation etc has forged us into this sort of expected way of life, but its against our instincts of survival and reproduction.
    Some people on the internet love to say that humans have evolved in such a way that we are not capable of monogamy but I wouldn't be so pessimistic. I'd like to think that while monogamy may be a challenge, it's not impossible.

    Your right its not impossible, but we have not evolved in such a way that we are not capable of monogamy, its the reverse. Civilisation has actually gone against our evolutionary line and tells us we should me monogamous, where as our evolution came about through survival of the fittest which certainly did not involve monogamy.

    If everyone only ever had children with one partner since the days of the caves, where would we be now. None of us individuals would be here typing tonight anyway.

    Was there also only one suitable partner for a caveman or woman thousands of years ago? Or did that only come in recently?


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    #115
    D e e
    Closed Accounts Posts: 856 ✭✭✭D e e


    I'm female - No
    I'm an old fashioned gal when it comes to relationships/romance so obviously I hope to get married some day.
    That said, I don't want to get married in a church and hopefully my future husband will want the same.
    I don't follow any particular religion (raised catholic) but getting married in a church doesn't appeal to me at all. I'd much rather get married in a nice setting on the beach, a forest or something like that. I would also prefer it to be a small wedding, 20-25 guests at most (immediate family,best friends)
    I don't see marraige as something couples do to prove their love to each other at all but I know girls who say things like "well if he loves me he should propose and prove it"


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    #116
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    minidazzler wrote: »
    But that would lead to alot of weak gene's surviving. And severely limits the pool to an eventual inbreeding.

    Also, life just isn't fair. And who says the happiest society is one where we all have one person to reproduce with?


    100%


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    #117
    scoll
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭scoll


    I'm female - No
    This thread is starting to make me doubt myself. I'm starting to think that I'd only get married because everyone else does it.

    I'm a girl and have never really thought about my wedding day. Year long trip sounds good to me !


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    #118
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    borderlinemeath wrote: »
    Can't wait to get married - just need to find myself the next big unattached property developer.

    Yes transfer a few houses over then you can get fed up and leave:D
    I might try it myself.


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    #119
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    D e e wrote: »
    I'm an old fashioned gal when it comes to relationships/romance so obviously I hope to get married some day.
    That said, I don't want to get married in a church and hopefully my future husband will want the same.
    I don't follow any particular religion (raised catholic) but getting married in a church doesn't appeal to me at all. I'd much rather get married in a nice setting on the beach, a forest or something like that. I would also prefer it to be a small wedding, 20-25 guests at most (immediate family,best friends)
    I don't see marraige as something couples do to prove their love to each other at all but I know girls who say things like "well if he loves me he should propose and prove it"

    Sounds sensible anyway.


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    #120
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    minidazzler wrote: »
    Exactly my point. How convenient that you're ONE True love out of 3.7 billion members of the opposite sex and 3.7 billion of the same sex, happened to just live less than 20 minutes away from you when you were growing up.

    Last girl I love, lives 7200 Km away from me and it happened purely by chance with so many ways that it just could have not...if there was gonna be true love (which I don't believe in) then that seems about right doesn't it?

    For a straight person there are so many options that having ONE true love is incongruous. It just doesn't fit, especially when they live down the road from you. You just didn't look at other options.

    Well i would`t quite say there are 3.7 billion suitable females, or males, probably less than a billion, we would have to rule out children at least.

    But yes spot on.


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    #121
    Bruthal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,422 ✭✭✭✭Bruthal


    Mike 1972 wrote: »
    Funny how this one magical person almost invariably happens to live within (maximum) an hours drive as opposed to say somewhere in Bhutan

    Yes, or gdansk:)


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