Would you get married ?

Wolfe Tone

feelingstressed wrote: »

They mean nothing in Ireland, courts don't recognize them

I think it would be a good thread if you started it in Legal forum on prenups

There goes my plan!

aidan24326

I'm male - No

Tigger wrote: »

I brought my partner of ten years to a hospital. She was longer than I thought so I asked at the desk where she was and basically was told it was none of my business. She's my wife now and it would be totally different

You've raised an important issue there. It's wrong of course that it should be like that, and the person on the desk was still an absolute d1ckhead to treat you like that.

I can't say for sure but I think there is legislation coming in (or maybe has been already?) which is aimed at giving more legal rights to long-term cohabiting couples who aren't officially married, and it's long overdue.

Would I get married? Yes. But then my girlfriend is from a different part of the world (has Irish passport) and it would give us wider options in terms of where to live and work, so there's a practical reason. But I'd still be happy to call her my wife too, so it wouldn't just be a practical thing. No big fcuking church thing though.

Dilynnio

I'm female - No

Yes I am getting married but not having a traditional style wedding. There is no way I would subject any of my family or friends to being stuffed into a suit or dress for the day and then have to starve until the meal!

A major overhaul of the tradition of weddings and ceremonies is needed badly!

yungwan

I'm female - No

Interesting poll results so far.

I answered yes, because I have just gotten engaged so obviously i plan to!

BUT I cant say its something I thought about until recent years, after being happy in my current relationship. SO I cant say I have always dreamed about it etc etc.

I want to get married though as I had my son very young (previous relationship) and want to have a more stable environment when I have more with my OH. I suppose I want the stabilty this time after doing it alone the lst time.

Also I love the fact that my OH wants to commit to me forever. Its a incrediable gesture on both parts, and something I think makes our relationship even better.

But in saying that, I see nothing wrong with people who dont feel the need to marry. In theory, it only changes things legally when you think about it , but for some people its something they decide they want. Like us!

P.S I think younger people who havent met someone they want to be with or see themselves being with often feel they could never marry. But your views do change sometimes.

Cheap Thrills!

Much as I used to think marriage was a crazy institution for fogey folks, I've completely changed my mind about other people getting married.:P (not myself!!)

Although it's not for me right now, I think in Ireland when kids/medical/inheritance/tax breaks issues come into it, there is nothing else that gives such protection, especially for fathers.

However, I still think something legal and constitutional should be implemented to enshrine a Fathers automatic rights, equal to a Mothers at the childs birth. There mandatory dna testing at birth and mandatory putting of that Fathers name on the Birth certificate. All the protecting rights to any abused/allegedly abused party still remains the same.

Men in Ireland get a terrible deal at times, as do women but we have a long way to go before unmarried Fathers have their appropriate rights. Marriage is one way to solve that but not the only way.

ITguy2

I'm female - Yes

Wasn't marriage initially something to do with the preservation of property, or something like that?

Anyways my take on the matter is this - life has been on the planet for over 4 billion years, and humanoids have been here for possibly 3 million years, if not more. Marriage is really only 2,000-3,000 years old and to be honest is just a religious concept with no counterparts in the natural world.

Humans went for millions of years without marriage before it came about, so I don't see how it serves any purpose to be honest as it's clear that it's unusual, both from the perspective of humans been animals like other creatures in the natural world, and second of all - it never even occurred to humans throughout the majority of our evolutionary history that they were missing out on anything.

Excuse my french, but marriage is bull**** and is nothing more than a legal / religious piece of paper. A man and woman are perfectly capable of loving each other without the state or church's stamp.

Abi

I think it suits some people, and not others. It depends on your reasons for wanting to do it. If you can genuinely say to yourself that you feel its not just a 'next step' marraige, then maybe it is what you really want.


It's definitely not something to do without thinking straight, its an expensive mistake to make.

Chuchoter

I'm female - No

I have no interest in the whole wedding thing. I hate planning parties.

However, being married is important to me for legal, very unromantic reasons. I like the idea of being married, just not the wedding part.

Scuid Mhór

scuid mhór could never be tied down.

Princess Peach

I'm female - No

Only if he's rich enough.

Abi

Princess Peach wrote: »

Only if he's rich enough.

Bag of hammers!


*CLANK*

Novella

I don't know. It's not something I really wanna do, I mean I don't dream of a big white wedding or whatever... But who knows? Maybe some day down the line I'll feel it's the right thing to do.

Princess Peach

I'm female - No

Abi wrote: »

Bag of hammers!


*CLANK*

I'm a walking cliche.

Genuinely though, if a guy ever proposed to me, I'd probably be so delighted I'd say yes no matter who he was :pac:

catthinkin

no

ValJester

I'm female - Yes

If it was cheaper than hiring a housekeeper.

Killer Pigeon

I'm female - Yes

Marriage is such a cultural conformity. I rather polygamy.

Caliden

I'm male - No

Alot of weirdos in here.
Why wouldnt you get married if you loved someone?

Seems to be you're trying just a little bit too hard to be different and not get married.

Abi

Caliden wrote: »

Alot of weirdos in here.
Why wouldnt you get married if you loved someone?

Seems to be you're trying just a little bit too hard to be different and not get married.

Maybe you're just trying to be different and to provoke a reaction?

Immediately I can think of three reasons why someone would say NO.

1. Its not what they want EVER
2. They've never met someone they felt strongly enough about to imagine doing it
3. Tried it, didn't work out.

Or maybe they're just trying to be different..

PeterIanStaker

I'm female - Yes

I ticked "No" but to elaborate further, I would only get married if it was in Vegas, the ceremony was over in 5 minutes and conducted by an Elvis impersonator and I was dressed like this:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100515114429/simpsons/images/thumb/d/d0/SimpDiscoStuGallery.png/200px-SimpDiscoStuGallery.png

squod

You can marry goats in Afghanistan, and if it doesn't work out you can throw the kids out and have dinner with the wife.

foaltrace

I'm male - No

Ever wanted to have and raise children with another person?
Ever worried about what would happen if that person became a **** and went back on your agreement after you investing so much in it?
Ever wished your agreement could be enshrined in a legal contract to minimise the negative impact on you should your partner go back on your agreement?

In a fair world marriage would be something like that. In this world:

Man decides to break contract. Man gets punished. So far so good.
Woman decides to break contract. Woman gets rewarded. Man gets punished. wtf?

gothicus

I'm female - Yes

Marrige is christian belief, why in this day and age people who are not practicing christians still choose to get married is so hypocritical.

Sisko

Its a good and interesting question. Too many people go through life just assuming this is how its supposed to be without ever questioning anything. "Its what the TV says I should do" :rolleyes:

So many people never even think to ask themselves "why".

This is why theres still so many religious people around who most of which don't really consider themselves religious but still consider themselves catholic 'cause we're supposed to'. Never stopping to ask themselves 'why'.

Personally I can't answer the poll, I've given it a lot of thought. I'm 25, immature for my age and have yet to have a serious relationship. For me something like that is years down the road, like my 40's or something.

Yet the other day I saw a thread by a girl the same age as me , freaaaaking out cause she's 25 and not married yet. Yet all her friends are married.

To me its crazy to be getting married in your 20's. It's only something I'd be thinking of when it comes to starting a family with someone and settling down , late 30's kinda thing at the earliest. Someone I know I'm going to grow old with, who'll be sharing my life with me in old age.

I can really picture people waiting to get married until their in there 60's in the future.

But I'll never understand the whole getting married just because. I know someone who proposed , similar age to me, his reasoning being he was with his gf 6 years and people were saying its about time he popped the question.

WHY? 6 years is a meaningless and tiny amount of time compared to the rest of your life , has less meaning the younger you are in terms of marriage.

KnifeWRENCH wrote: »

I would, if I met the right person. I wouldn't propose though; I seemingly "rush into things" :rolleyes: so I'd wait for my bf/gf to suggest it.

Are you saying your Bi? Lol

Tigger wrote: »

I brought my partner of ten years to a hospital. She was longer than I thought so I asked at the desk where she was and basically was told it was none of my business. She's my wife now and it would be totally different.

If I die she gets the things we colleced in our lives with no issue. There are tax implications and things you can do ( look at the property developers thread ) there is a security of legal respect of your rights as a couple from the state and others that you don't get otherwise

I agree with the guy who posed about not needing validation etc 100% but there are advantages to being married and I swore blind for a long time I'd never marry ( we were together 13 years before e married)

This is a very good point.

Deleted User wrote: »

I would if I could, because there are many pieces of red tape that you get through married. Next of Kin rights, inheritance for each other or any kids you have, tax breaks, medical choices in hospital should one of you become incapacitated and so on.

However I live with 2 girls not 1 so marriage is not really an option without disenfranchising one or the other or our daughter (and future kids). Marrying two people is clearly illegal too. So we have done a lot of work with solicitors to try and close up any possible legal issues in the future.

For all intents and purposes we are now “semi-married” and have most of what we need to set our minds at rest in terms of future complications. If for example the two actual parents get wiped out tomorrow the other girl should have no difficulty in obtaining rights to being our daughters rightful guardian etc.

It has been complicated but it has helped that the younger of the two is doing a law masters at present and has been able to talk the talk with our solicitors and she even did her thesis/masters stuff on our legal situation which made for a good paper.

This is the most interesting post in this thread so far.

Brings me back to my original point. People just going along with things without ever asking themselves 'why'.

Its ILLEGAL to have more then one wife/husband.

Why? If 3 people want to share their lives together, why should that be against the law. Stupid religion, should have no place in making policies.

Sure it may seem crazy to a lot of people, but there are people out there who find happyness this way, no logical reason to make it illegal.

Caliden wrote: »

Alot of weirdos in here.
Why wouldnt you get married if you loved someone?

Seems to be you're trying just a little bit too hard to be different and not get married.

Ah finally , one of those people who just goes along with everything and never questions anything. What are you doing on the internet, isnt this a place only for geeks and nerds? Why don't you just go back to watching your soaps/football and listen to your pop music and never worry or question anything around you and continue to live your life as TV says you should.

krudler

I'm male - No

gothicus wrote: »

Marrige is christian belief, why in this day and age people who are not practicing christians still choose to get married is so hypocritical.

errr, no it isnt, not exclusively anyway

foaltrace

I'm male - No

Sisko wrote: »

Why? If 3 people want to share their lives together, why should that be against the law. Stupid religion, should have no place in making policies.

Sure it may seem crazy to a lot of people, but there are people out there who find happyness this way, no logical reason to make it illegal.

Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa, and thus by hogging more than your fair share you're doing people short.......If you take a step back and look at the wider implications of your actions on the well-being of society it's not hard to see how polygamy is not a moral life-choice.

Caliden

I'm male - No

Sisko wrote: »

Ah finally , one of those people who just goes along with everything and never questions anything. What are you doing on the internet, isnt this a place only for geeks and nerds? Why don't you just go back to watching your soaps/football and listen to your pop music and never worry or question anything around you and continue to live your life as TV says you should.

Less of the personal abuse there ladeen.
I'm not brainwashed by tv nor do watch soaps/dream of a fairytale wedding.
For me, marraige would be considered one of the final steps when you're in a relationship with someone you would grow old with.
I don't think that because of television or all the 'squares' but that's what I actually believe in.

I'd agree with you that getting married in your early twenties is a bit old fashioned but for some people that's what they want.

Who says you have to have it in a church? I've recently attended a friends' marraige and he had a civil ceremony.

You're talking as if getting married is somehow 'uncool' or conformist, if that's really what you think then away with you.

borderlinemeath

I'm female - No

Can't wait to get married - just need to find myself the next big unattached property developer.

AckwelFoley

I'm male - No

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

She would have to sign a prenup though

Thats a - "i love you but"

If she is the right one a prenup wouldnt even enter your head.

Popular as they may be in the US, I'd hazard a guess that the people that want them treat the whole being married thing as just something to do rather than making a formal commitment to your other half -

Sisko

foaltrace wrote: »

Besides the fact that there is only one woman out there for every man and vice versa, and thus by hogging more than your fair share you're doing people short.......If you take a step back and look at the wider implications of your actions on the well-being of society it's not hard to see how polygamy is not a moral life-choice.

I don't even know where to begin with such a mental post. I may as well try and argue with someone from 60 years ago who thinks everyone should only ever have one sexual relationship for the entire lives. As doing otherwise would have bad implications for society and is an immoral life choice.

Pointless.

Caliden wrote: »

Less of the personal abuse there ladeen.

Sorry , were you not the one calling everyone who does not automatically want to get married a weirdo?

I wasn't trying to personally abuse you btw.

Caliden wrote: »

I'm not brainwashed by tv nor do watch soaps/dream of a fairytale wedding.
For me, marraige would be considered one of the final steps when you're in a relationship with someone you would grow old with.
I don't think that because of television or all the 'squares' but that's what I actually believe in.

I'd agree with you that getting married in your early twenties is a bit old fashioned but for some people that's what they want.

Who says you have to have it in a church? I've recently attended a friends' marraige and he had a civil ceremony.
.

I dunno it seems like your misinterpreting where people are coming from. People are challenging the concept of 'your supposed to get married, otherwise its weird'. Talking about how many do it for the wrong reasons usually ending up with bad results.

Caliden wrote: »

You're talking as if getting married is somehow 'uncool' or conformist, if that's really what you think then away with you.

Since I never said I defiantly would or wouldn't get married would I not be hypocritical by saying this?

Darlughda

I'm female - No

Jayzus. Despise the conventional norms of the whole wedding shebang, ludricous money spent on mad stuff.

However, a small registery office do with afters in a good local pub- with the fella you are mad in love with publicly declaring his love for me and sharing this with family and friends- that sounds like a man I would really. really love!