Would you get married ?

High energy · 23-12-2010 2:47am #1

I was talking to some female friends about this last week and couldn't make sense of their logic behind marriage. Personally I think it's a waste of time and money for the following reasons:

Girls: It's to prove you love each other
Me: Neither my girlfriend nor I need a church or state issued document to prove we love each other

Girls: Well if you ever have kids it's better to be married
Me: That's stupid , if I have kids and some day want to break up with their mother, a document won't stop me doing that

Girls: Well every girl dreams of her wedding day from a young age
Me: - couldn't really answer this one, however still don't think it justifies marriage

I also argued that it just creates a monster headache if you ever decide to break up regarding transfer of assets etc.

The ONLY practical reason I can think of is if 1 person in the marriage is on a high salary and can transfer the spouses tax credits to themself. Other than that I'd rather spend the €10,000 - €20,000 that weddings cost these days going on a mad round the world trip for a year.

Your thoughts?

KeithM89_old · 23-12-2010 2:48am

I'm male - No

Hopefully - just have to find some poor unfortunate girl willing to marry me though

alwaysadub · 23-12-2010 2:51am

Meh. Not that bothered either way. Never dreamt of my wedding since i was a kid that's for sure! My mother has pretty much given up on me ever getting married at this stage, so at least that's her off my back.

mikemac · 23-12-2010 2:51am

I'm male - No

High energy wrote: »

Girls: Well if you ever have kids it's better to be married
Me: That's stupid , if I have kids and some day want to break up with their mother, a document won't stop me doing that

And if you break up and don't have a marraige certificate, well you OP could end fighting hard for even basic visitation rights.
And after thousands spent in court you may lose anyway

High energy · 23-12-2010 2:52am

I'm female - Yes

feelingstressed wrote: »

And if you break up and don't have a marraige certificate, well you OP could end fighting hard for even basic visitation rights.
And after thousands spent in court you may lose anyway

That's a good , solid point but there's new legislation being brought in to automatically put the fathers name on the birth certificate whether married or not. One thing the government are doing properly anyway.

mikemac · 23-12-2010 2:56am

I'm male - No

Sounds good, credit due to the government for that though it should have been done decades ago

Wolfe Tone · 23-12-2010 2:56am

If I meet the right person then I suppose so.

She would have to sign a prenup though

mikemac · 23-12-2010 2:57am

I'm male - No

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

She would have to sign a prenup though

They mean nothing in Ireland, courts don't recognize them

I think it would be a good thread if you started it in Legal forum on prenups

stupidusername · 23-12-2010 2:58am

I'm not saying that I would absolutely never consider getting married, but no can't see it happening. and can't really see how I would be persuaded otherwise, if someone was to try. but then much like the op when you think about the logic behind it it doesn't make sense on paper necessarily but that's not to say people shouldn't if that's what they feel like they want to do.

I do think that many people just do things without giving much thought to why. so it's nice to see something like this being questioned. like women and it being assumed all women want / should want children. I don't.

orourkeda · 23-12-2010 3:02am

I'm female - Yes

Marriage is the ultimate business arrangement.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 23-12-2010 3:06am

I'm female - No

High energy wrote: »

Girls: Well every girl dreams of her wedding day from a young age
Me: - couldn't really answer this one, however still don't think it justifies marriage

Never. I hate that stereotype. I was brought up to dream of more important things than my wedding day!

In saying that though I would like to get married one day. I can't exactly explain why but I suppose in really sets a relationship in stone. My uncle was with his ex for 10 years and they never married he was with his now wife about 2 years when they got engaged. It just made the relationship seem to have a bigger importance or something like that to me. And please do not jump down my throat for that, that is completely a personal opinion.

I'm with my boyfriend 4 years next month, we're only 19 so the idea of marriage is a long way away but we have kind of discussed it. We're looking at 24 - 26 before we get engaged and at least another 2 years on top of that before we get married, that is if we're still together! I want to live the independent life I was brought up to live first (see first comment!) before I decide to settle down. I have the 2nd half of my undergrad, my masters, my FE1s, training contracts, etc to all get through before something like marriage enters the picture!

But in the end of the day I still see marriage as being an extremely possible event in my life. Like I said, I see it as determining a relationship, as officially saying yes we are a couple and we do want to spend the rest of our lives together. That, however, is not saying it's to prove that you love each other! I see that as different to what I'm saying! It's more about promising that your relationship is for life than having to prove that you love each other. Love isn't something that should have to be proved!

In saying all that I do know a couple who were 10 years together and broke up within one year of marriage.

That's how I see it anyway! Then again, what would I as a silly teenager know! :P

mikom · 23-12-2010 3:06am

An anagram of marriage is "A grim era"

vintac34 · 23-12-2010 3:08am

I'm female - Yes

No way..
Own house and land before.
Own half house and land after!!

KnifeWRENCH · 23-12-2010 3:11am

I'm male - No

I would, if I met the right person. I wouldn't propose though; I seemingly "rush into things" :rolleyes: so I'd wait for my bf/gf to suggest it. Otherwise I wouldn't bother for fear of scaring them away. Of course, if I have a bf then it's not "marriage" due to our dear country's refusal to grant full equality. I'm already excited about the prospect of ringing my parents and telling them I'm getting married civilly united. :rolleyes:

Also would not get married in a church; other people's weddings, funerals and Christmas Day is enough Catholic crap for me to deal with, thanks. (again, this would only be a potential issue if I was marrying a woman; the Church don't approve of teh gheys.)

Asphyxia · 23-12-2010 3:47am

I'm female - No

Yes. I'd like to see myself married in the future after I have done some travelling and settled some more with a career but I'm an old fashioned girl at heart :rolleyes:

I don't think marriage is for everyone though. My sister was in a relationship for nearly 10 years and after she got married they separated 1 year later, she has been in a relationship for a couple of years now and has no intension of getting married again.

While some people do want to get married there's nothing stopping two people in a serious relationship happily being together for the rest of there lives without it. One of my bestfriends parents have been together for 25 years and they're not married or living together for that matter but they work so well together.

YUSS · 23-12-2010 3:54am

am gonna marry the girl i love on the beach near our estate

MIN2511 · 23-12-2010 3:54am

I'm female - No

Life is all about risks... Marriage is one of them

Tigger · 23-12-2010 4:29am

I brought my partner of ten years to a hospital. She was longer than I thought so I asked at the desk where she was and basically was told it was none of my business. She's my wife now and it would be totally different.

If I die she gets the things we colleced in our lives with no issue. There are tax implications and things you can do ( look at the property developers thread ) there is a security of legal respect of your rights as a couple from the state and others that you don't get otherwise

I agree with the guy who posed about not needing validation etc 100% but there are advantages to being married and I swore blind for a long time I'd never marry ( we were together 13 years before e married)

bonerm · 23-12-2010 5:07am

MIN2511 wrote: »

Life is all about risks... Marriage is one of them

Yep, but plenty of risk and not much return from what I can tell.

Tar.Aldarion · 23-12-2010 5:17am

I used to say no, then yes, then no, I dont really care about it. Just gonna be happy to have em

psycho-hope · 23-12-2010 5:22am

I'm female - No

I'd love to get married some day, tho i would have to be very sure they were the right person. Maybe ive rose coloured glasses on because my grandparents have been married for 50 yrs and still mad about each other.

bronte · 23-12-2010 8:00am

Least romantic thing I can think of.....contracting Love?

It's not a Goddamn iphone!!!!

strobe · 23-12-2010 8:22am

There are practical reasons to get married, especially if you are a man and you are Irish. If you do not and you have children you basically have zero legally protected rights to see them. I've seen several women use access to their kids to blackmail their father's in this country, for money, for favours, out of pure vindictive spite. Now I like to think I'm a bit of a better judge of character than that, to ever marry a freak that would act like that if the relationship fell apart but I'm sure lots of guys thought the same thing before. So that would be a consideration certainly.

Now that I'm finished being all romantic on jolly above. Basically I wouldn't be too pushed. If the girl absolutely had her heart set on it I'd be up for it. Bit of a party, couple of week away in the sun for the honeymoon, whats not to like? Certainly wouldn't be spending 20,000 like in the OP though. Not a chance in hell and if any girl I was marrying was that completely shallow and materialistic to try and insist on that she wouldn't see me for the big trail of dust I'd leave her standing in.

Of course, I'm a hideous goat boy, so chances are I'll probably never have to give this serious consideration any time soon.......

lrushe · 23-12-2010 8:26am

I'm female - No

I will get married but I don't want a wedding, I just want to be my bf's wife and him to be my husband.

sam34 · 23-12-2010 8:28am

i'm female, and have no desire or intention to ever marry. just dont see the point.

WindSock · 23-12-2010 8:31am

Yes, I love getting married.

newbee22 · 23-12-2010 8:39am

I'm female - No

I would get married but not soon!

Jesus Wept · 23-12-2010 8:48am

It's a state control and weddings are a massive money making industry.

Canis Lupus · 23-12-2010 9:00am

I'm not particularly bothered by it. Would probably say no but if I found a woman I was gonna spend my life with then the only reason to get married that I can see is simply for tax/legal reasons which sorta makes a mockery of the entire thing.

Marraige is changing now anyway.... It has moved away from the religious aspect and it's just something you 'do'. The number of people I know who don't believe in god and yet get married in a catholic church is funny.

Caoimhín · 23-12-2010 9:02am

Nope.

Cabaal · 23-12-2010 9:05am

I'm male - No

High energy wrote: »

Girls: Well if you ever have kids it's better to be married
Me: That's stupid , if I have kids and some day want to break up with their mother, a document won't stop me doing that

But you won't have as many rights to the kids

So really it depends how much you care

Would you get married ?

Would you ever get married? 339 votes

Comments