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Christmas office party survival guide

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  • 14-12-2010 8:07pm
    #1
    A Nice Cup Of Tea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭


    I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?


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    #2
    Oranage2
    Registered Users Posts: 11,128 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    Get as drunk as possible and make yourself known to the CEO - works a treat

    Also try roide some of the secretaries - Thats what they're there for after all


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    #3
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    What happens at the xmas party stays at the xmas party :)


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    #4
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    me too;

    I need to have a drink to get through it, but I dont drink!


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    #5
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Oranage2 wrote: »
    Get as drunk as possible and make yourself known to the CEO - works a treat

    Also try roide some of the secretaries - Thats what they're there for after all

    including the males ?


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    #6
    Le King
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,092 ✭✭✭Le King


    Don't try and shag your mangers manager... Especially when she's not drunk and you are. Tends to end very badly and awkward.


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    #7
    Antomus Prime
    Registered Users Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭Antomus Prime


    Best thing to do is take advantage of the free drinks, get absolutely s**t-faced, and if you're gonna try it on then do it with all the girls there, so none of them feel left out and you cant be accused of favourtism....... esp if your a manager/supervisor :)

    But make sure when really drunk you don't decide to tell YOUR boss what you really think of him/her...... this usually doesn't end well!!!!!!!!!


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    #8
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Take any chubby bints from accounts aside after they have loaded up on vod. and red bull and ease a well oiled bell up the council.

    They always take it.;)


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    #9
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »
    I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

    no partners allowed.

    funny stories never seem as funny the next day :)


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    #10
    TouchingVirus
    Registered Users Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    hondasam wrote: »
    including the males ?

    Male secretaries? Don't make me laugh :pac:


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    #11
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,466 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »
    I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

    Don't go.

    If you do go, don't tell your boss that she'd be more attractive if she wasn't so fat.


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    #12
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Go Streaking - everyone loves it....:)


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    #13
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    Go Streaking - everyone loves it....:)

    you mean you would love it :)


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    #14
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    TouchingVirus wrote: »
    Male secretaries? Don't make me laugh :pac:

    Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary :)

    It's not rocket science !


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    #15
    Lux23
    Registered Users Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    If you think it will be so bad, why do you go? I always enjoyed the parties in my last job but I never went on one if I knew I would be bored or afraid I would end up talking to some twat all night.


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    #16
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    you have to go to those things,

    ours is ok - at least the meal is usually very good


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    #17
    TouchingVirus
    Registered Users Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    hondasam wrote: »
    Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary :)

    It's not rocket science !

    I know, that's why the girls do it. Leave the men to the Rocket Science


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    #18
    AnnyHallsal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.


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    #19
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.

    thats good advice


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    #20
    Notorious97
    Registered Users Posts: 1,479 ✭✭✭Notorious97


    hondasam wrote: »
    What happens at the xmas party stays at the xmas party :)

    except for an STD, that sh*t will follow you home :pac:


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    #21
    lamai
    Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭lamai


    hondasam wrote: »
    Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary :)

    It's not rocket science !


    No I think what he is trying to say is that it's a women job like ironing, cooking, cleaning doing dishes etc etc.


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    #22
    Stench Blossoms
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    Lick the HR girl's face.


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    #23
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Stench Blossoms wrote: »
    Lick the HR girl's face.


    Only her face?


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    #24
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    TouchingVirus wrote: »
    I know, that's why the girls do it. Leave the men to the Rocket Science


    Men are like Copiers.
    You need them for reproduction, but that's about it :)


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    #25
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    Only her face?


    Trust you to lower the tone :D


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    #26
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    A co-worker got hammered and found the managers computer unlocked.
    He then proceeded to mail everyone at the office "Get XXX a drink or you're fired!".
    Didn't go down well too with the boss but he's still working here :D


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    #27
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    I believe my first mistake last year was showing up to the party drunk.....


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    #28
    animaal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 815 ✭✭✭animaal


    AnnyHallsal wrote: »
    Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.

    Yes; if he's with your wife, you should have the manners to leave them in peace. Better for your career prospects.


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    #29
    Victor Meldrew
    Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭Victor Meldrew


    A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »
    I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

    I stole the MD's taxi about 11 years ago. he was standing on the hotel steps, I said, good night, and popped into the cab.

    That's about all I've ever managed.


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    #30
    easyeason3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,104 ✭✭✭easyeason3


    Don't go. That's how you survive.
    Go & every little bitchy thing will be brought up in a jokey way. But if you're anything like me after a gallon of drink around some people you don't get on with then this could be dangerous.


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    #31
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    I was at a Christmas party years ago for an office I worked with when I left college.

    Well, it wasn't really a party - just an expensive meal at a really nice French restaurant.

    Anyway, one of the guys who worked there - Pete - had been with the office for around 15 years. A sound man, but you could tell he was heartily sick of the place & even more so, one of the firm's partners.

    About halfway through dessert & several bottles of wine later, one of the bosses phones rang, so Pete took off his shoe & answered it as if it were a phone, in the voice of the boss.

    The whole restaurant was looking at him as he shouted, "Hello? Hello?" into his shoe. Then he turned to the boss & said, "hang on - it's for you".

    And with that, he f*cked the shoe at the bosses head & stormed off out of the restaurant with one shoe on.

    He handed in his notice when we got back in the new year. :D


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