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Christmas office party survival guide

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    #32
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Get really drunk beforehand and turn up in a tracksuit, anything fancier and your managers will think they pay you too much.

    Also bring weed, all your co workers will appreciate the loving gesture.


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    #33
    jd007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    Get fcuked and have everyone fill you in on all the stupid things you did the next day. Thats what i did anyways :pac:


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    #34
    flahavaj
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,235 ✭✭✭✭flahavaj


    Don't decide to raffle your socks during a Christmas work meal in a fancy restaurant. Or throw them at the nice lady who wins and fall off your seat laughing uncontrollably as they land gracefully in her soup.

    Believe you me that won't go down well.:pac:


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    #35
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    If you do not:

    a) vomit violently at least twice

    b) try to chat up/shag at least five girls

    c) get so drunk you cant remember anything after 10pm

    d) try to probe your own arse with a copy of cara magazine on the dancefloor

    your christmas party has been a failure


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    #36
    Dizraeligears
    Registered Users Posts: 241 ✭✭Dizraeligears


    easyeason3 wrote: »
    Don't go. That's how you survive.
    Go & every little bitchy thing will be brought up in a jokey way. But if you're anything like me after a gallon of drink around some people you don't get on with then this could be dangerous.
    My office party is about as much fun as going to a f--kin dentist,for this very reason....


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    #37
    Star Bingo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,366 ✭✭✭Star Bingo


    throw yourself out the window, you'll thank me for it

    better chance of surviving that than surviving them


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    #38
    A Nice Cup Of Tea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭A Nice Cup Of Tea


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    I was at a Christmas party years ago for an office I worked with when I left college.

    Well, it wasn't really a party - just an expensive meal at a really nice French restaurant.

    Anyway, one of the guys who worked there - Pete - had been with the office for around 15 years. A sound man, but you could tell he was heartily sick of the place & even more so, one of the firm's partners.

    About halfway through dessert & several bottles of wine later, one of the bosses phones rang, so Pete took off his shoe & answered it as if it were a phone, in the voice of the boss.

    The whole restaurant was looking at him as he shouted, "Hello? Hello?" into his shoe. Then he turned to the boss & said, "hang on - it's for you".

    And with that, he f*cked the shoe at the bosses head & stormed off out of the restaurant with one shoe on.

    He handed in his notice when we got back in the new year. :D

    :pac:


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    #39
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,341 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Thank god for that, I don't have to face that this year! :D Drink, be happy and be merry! Don't do anything silly and be yourself! Chat away to people and mingle!:)


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    #40
    Gator
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭Gator


    Tell your boss there an asshole...they will appreciate your honesty


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    #41
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    tell your boss that the key thing in his company that he is missing is you in a senior role and give him your business card,if you haven't got one GET ONE,you WILL get a promotion


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    #42
    A Nice Cup Of Tea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭A Nice Cup Of Tea


    pmcmahon wrote: »
    tell your boss that the key thing in his company that he is missing is you in a senior role and give him your business card,if you haven't got one GET ONE,you WILL get a promotion


    *takes notes*


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    #43
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    Mine is tomorrow night in town, should be a bit of craic.

    I just know that the main topic of conversation will be the boss's latest Lady friend.


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    #44
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Im heading to one in 2 hours. This thread has given me great advice :)






    /downs hip-flask


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    #45
    PeterIanStaker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭PeterIanStaker


    Wait til the stuck- up -but - hot - one from HR is wasted, then bend her over the photocopier and bang her senseless.


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    #46
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    i cant imagine actually having the party in the office. I assumed everyone went out?


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    #47
    AnnyHallsal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    kerryman12 wrote: »
    i cant imagine actually having the party in the office. I assumed everyone went out?

    Haven't you seen The Office Christmas specials? :o

    Yeah, usually some poxy hotel or similar.


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    #48
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    AnnyHallsal wrote: »
    Haven't you seen The Office Christmas specials? :o

    Yeah, usually some poxy hotel or similar.

    no actually


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    #49
    AnnyHallsal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    kerryman12 wrote: »
    no actually

    Sacrilege! Give them a watch. All you need to know about the highs and lows of the office Christmas party.


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    #50
    kerryman12
    Registered Users Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    AnnyHallsal wrote: »
    Sacrilege! Give them a watch. All you need to know about the highs and lows of the office Christmas party.


    should do really, never really got his humor until the podcast series - they cracked me up


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