Christmas office party survival guide

A Nice Cup Of Tea · 14-12-2010 08:07PM #1

I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

Oranage2 · 14-12-2010 08:08PM

Get as drunk as possible and make yourself known to the CEO - works a treat

Also try roide some of the secretaries - Thats what they're there for after all

hondasam · 14-12-2010 08:08PM

What happens at the xmas party stays at the xmas party

kerryman12 · 14-12-2010 08:09PM

me too;

I need to have a drink to get through it, but I dont drink!

hondasam · 14-12-2010 08:09PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

Get as drunk as possible and make yourself known to the CEO - works a treat

Also try roide some of the secretaries - Thats what they're there for after all

including the males ?

Le King · 14-12-2010 08:10PM

Don't try and shag your mangers manager... Especially when she's not drunk and you are. Tends to end very badly and awkward.

Antomus Prime · 14-12-2010 08:11PM

Best thing to do is take advantage of the free drinks, get absolutely s**t-faced, and if you're gonna try it on then do it with all the girls there, so none of them feel left out and you cant be accused of favourtism....... esp if your a manager/supervisor

But make sure when really drunk you don't decide to tell YOUR boss what you really think of him/her...... this usually doesn't end well!!!!!!!!!

FlutterinBantam · 14-12-2010 08:12PM

Take any chubby bints from accounts aside after they have loaded up on vod. and red bull and ease a well oiled bell up the council.

They always take it.;)

hondasam · 14-12-2010 08:13PM

A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »

I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

no partners allowed.

funny stories never seem as funny the next day

TouchingVirus · 14-12-2010 08:15PM

hondasam wrote: »

including the males ?

Male secretaries? Don't make me laugh :pac:

Snakeblood · 14-12-2010 08:19PM

A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »

I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

Don't go.

If you do go, don't tell your boss that she'd be more attractive if she wasn't so fat.

KeithM89_old · 14-12-2010 08:21PM

Go Streaking - everyone loves it....:)

hondasam · 14-12-2010 08:23PM

KeithM89 wrote: »

Go Streaking - everyone loves it....:)

you mean you would love it

hondasam · 14-12-2010 08:24PM

TouchingVirus wrote: »

Male secretaries? Don't make me laugh :pac:

Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary

It's not rocket science !

Lux23 · 14-12-2010 08:25PM

If you think it will be so bad, why do you go? I always enjoyed the parties in my last job but I never went on one if I knew I would be bored or afraid I would end up talking to some twat all night.

kerryman12 · 14-12-2010 08:32PM

you have to go to those things,

ours is ok - at least the meal is usually very good

TouchingVirus · 14-12-2010 08:35PM

hondasam wrote: »

Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary

It's not rocket science !

I know, that's why the girls do it. Leave the men to the Rocket Science

AnnyHallsal · 14-12-2010 08:43PM

Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.

kerryman12 · 14-12-2010 08:45PM

Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.

thats good advice

Notorious97 · 14-12-2010 08:57PM

hondasam wrote: »

What happens at the xmas party stays at the xmas party

except for an STD, that sh*t will follow you home :pac:

lamai · 14-12-2010 08:57PM

hondasam wrote: »

Are you saying the male is not capable of been a secretary

It's not rocket science !

No I think what he is trying to say is that it's a women job like ironing, cooking, cleaning doing dishes etc etc.

Stench Blossoms · 14-12-2010 09:01PM

Lick the HR girl's face.

Micky Dolenz · 14-12-2010 09:10PM

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Lick the HR girl's face.

Only her face?

hondasam · 14-12-2010 09:13PM

TouchingVirus wrote: »

I know, that's why the girls do it. Leave the men to the Rocket Science

Men are like Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it

hondasam · 14-12-2010 09:15PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Only her face?

Trust you to lower the tone

biko · 14-12-2010 09:55PM

A co-worker got hammered and found the managers computer unlocked.
He then proceeded to mail everyone at the office "Get XXX a drink or you're fired!".
Didn't go down well too with the boss but he's still working here

Princess Peach · 14-12-2010 10:32PM

I believe my first mistake last year was showing up to the party drunk.....

animaal · 14-12-2010 11:51PM

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

Don't ring the boss to come smoke some hash with you when he's at home in bed with the wife.

Yes; if he's with your wife, you should have the manners to leave them in peace. Better for your career prospects.

Victor Meldrew · 14-12-2010 11:57PM

A Nice Cup Of Tea wrote: »

I have my party on Friday and need some tips! :pac: Any funny stories from yours over the years?

I stole the MD's taxi about 11 years ago. he was standing on the hotel steps, I said, good night, and popped into the cab.

That's about all I've ever managed.

easyeason3 · 14-12-2010 11:58PM

Don't go. That's how you survive.
Go & every little bitchy thing will be brought up in a jokey way. But if you're anything like me after a gallon of drink around some people you don't get on with then this could be dangerous.

starbelgrade · 15-12-2010 12:04AM

I was at a Christmas party years ago for an office I worked with when I left college.

Well, it wasn't really a party - just an expensive meal at a really nice French restaurant.

Anyway, one of the guys who worked there - Pete - had been with the office for around 15 years. A sound man, but you could tell he was heartily sick of the place & even more so, one of the firm's partners.

About halfway through dessert & several bottles of wine later, one of the bosses phones rang, so Pete took off his shoe & answered it as if it were a phone, in the voice of the boss.

The whole restaurant was looking at him as he shouted, "Hello? Hello?" into his shoe. Then he turned to the boss & said, "hang on - it's for you".

And with that, he f*cked the shoe at the bosses head & stormed off out of the restaurant with one shoe on.

He handed in his notice when we got back in the new year.

Christmas office party survival guide

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