What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

scientific1982 · 05-12-2010 04:26AM

I already have gay friends and family members. If one of my friends came out to me, I'd buy them a pint for having the courage to do so.

Napper Hawkins · 05-12-2010 04:26AM

I also have gay friends, they don't know it yet but still, they're good people.

Links234 · 05-12-2010 04:28AM

baz2009 wrote: »

Considering you're gay, why would a friend think that you wouldn't be their friend if they came out?

I'm talking about how stressful coming out can be in general, not that a friend would be afraid that I wouldn't be their friend any more.

jeeze though, feels like everyone's jumping on me because I'm saying I'd have a more sensitive approach. maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes people do need a hug and a kind word and to be told that they have a friend who's there for them.

ps. not gay, transgender

Princess Peach · 05-12-2010 04:35AM

Drop the hand

Capt'n Midnight · 05-12-2010 04:36AM

*wonders if gay friends can introduce me to fag hags*

ballsymchugh · 05-12-2010 04:39AM

Princess Peach wrote: »

Drop the hand

let us know how that goes!

StereoLove · 05-12-2010 04:43AM

I would accept tham as they were. They are my friend after all and that's what friendship is all about:)

Kumejima · 05-12-2010 10:06AM

Kill it with fire!

05-12-2010 10:14AM

wouldn't change anything

Caoimhín · 05-12-2010 10:23AM

Id play it cool. If it is a girl, i would slowly get around to the subject of a threesome.

Son Of A Vidic · 05-12-2010 11:08AM

The answer to your question is contained within the title of this thread. If a friend of mine 'came out', they would of course still be my friend. It wouldn't change anything as far as I'm concerned.

sam34 · 05-12-2010 11:54AM

wouldnt change anything about our friendship

a friend of mine came out to me years ago, he was actually someone i'd had a brief fling with a few years prior to that, and when he later told me he was gay, i was very relaxed about it, just asked him was he seeing anyone and when he said he was i asked more about him and we arranged to meet

05-12-2010 12:13PM

Well the first thing I'd do is congratulate them then just have everything as normal. A person's sexual preference doesn't change what I think of them before they came out.

galah · 05-12-2010 01:17PM

got a little annoyed at first when a friend came out - by text message, two seconds before I had to go into a big meeting at work. cheers love...not that it was that big of a surprise, but still - they expected emotional support and praise, I suppose, which I couldnt give since I was stuck talking about strategies and synergies...

anyhoo, point is: it didnt change anything - made the friendship better, even.

AskMyChocolate · 05-12-2010 01:17PM

Knowing my mates, it would almost certainly end up in a session with the lot of us laughing hysterically all night as we came up with ever more ridiculous stories/scenarios as to how our parents would react.*

*In fairness, to all our parents, although most of them are quite conservative, I can't imagine any of them giving any more of a **** about it than we would.

Micky Dolenz · 05-12-2010 01:20PM

I have a friend who we all knew was gay from an early age. It's still a running joke that he was the last to find out :P Nothing changed when he came out out.

Mint Sauce · 05-12-2010 01:23PM

Wish 'em well and then try and get on it with one of they're new female friends.

ps, wouldn't change a thing between us.

Kintarō Hattori · 05-12-2010 01:30PM

I wouldn't do anything. I'd be delighted that they came out to me and I'd treat them in the same manner I had done previously.

Fart · 05-12-2010 01:34PM

I had a mate who came out two years ago. We were in the pub at the time, I just shrugged it off and more pints in. He started talking about his Ex and stuff; made for a good conversation.

He brought me to a few gay bars, was fun lol.

efb · 05-12-2010 01:36PM

Well if a friend came out to me, I would be there 100% for him or her, cos I've been there, and I know how tough it can be.

Sauve · 05-12-2010 02:03PM

Wouldn't matter a damn to me or our friendship.
Heard some very wise words once from a mother who had just found out that her son was gay.

Went something like this:

"I'm delighted that he has someone to wrap his arms around at night, and somebody to share his life with. We all need to be loved.
But the only worry I have is that because of the society we live in, he and his partner are inevitably going to face some ridicule, abuse etc. If they ever decide to have a kid, that's going to be tough too....
But I know my son, he's strong, and he has the support of his entire family should things ever get difficult, that's what were here for"

Such a legend of a mammy!

flyaway. · 05-12-2010 02:12PM

Things would just carry on as normal.

I'm a lesbian and still ''in the closet.'' Not because of what friends would say, but because I think my Grandmother might drop dead or something if she knew. My parents would not be happy either...

Sofiztikated · 05-12-2010 02:30PM

Have a couple a friends that happen to sleep with the same sex. Not an issue, I like or dislike people for who they are, not who they share a bed bed.

Have one friend who hasn't even told me and a mate that he's gay, because I just assume he thinks we know. He's told everyone else, just not us.

Have one friend that everyone knew he was gay long before he did.

Brother in law to be, came out not too long ago as bi. He's still the same person, its just the person he might sleep with might have a penis. That is nothing to do with me.

Although, having said that, if a friend comes out as gay, and then their whole personality changed to being a complete queen, then I lose respect for them. Why? Not because they're gay, but that they have over night completely changed their personality.

krudler · 05-12-2010 02:32PM

One of my best friends is gay, didnt bat an eyelid when he told me one night in the pub, still hang out, still go to pubs, hell I've even been his wingman on nights out in gay bars when guys hit on me even though I'm straight, doesnt bother me in the slightest.

littlehedgehog · 05-12-2010 02:42PM

I've had a couple of people come out to me, because I'm (very) out - generally a hug or a congrats, ask if they're alright, and then pints galore if possible!
The only way it has ever changed the friendship is that we'd be more likely to go to gay bars in future

Coriolanus · 05-12-2010 02:49PM

AH answer: Fsck them silly.

Really though, I don't think it would affect me that much. If they came out to me privately, well that implies a certain amount of trust and respect on their part and I'd find that an honour.

deirdre_dub · 05-12-2010 02:55PM

Links234 wrote: »

jeeze though, feels like everyone's jumping on me because I'm saying I'd have a more sensitive approach. maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes people do need a hug and a kind word and to be told that they have a friend who's there for them.

ps. not gay, transgender

*hug*

It's scary coming out as transgender. My hope is that it will become easier for you the more you do it and the further along you get in your transition.

To answer the original question - I've always had a blind spot around a person's sexual orientation. I always seem to be the last to find out that such-and-such a person is gay, and it's never fazed me. I just don't care what your sexual orientation is.

I care, of course, if it causes you difficulties, and/or if you are experiencing bullying or discrimination. But after that I just don't care - it's none of my business.

For myself, coming out as transgender was initially quite scary. But, as I've settled in to my identity, it's become a whole lot easier. It helps that I've experienced a lot of acceptance, and it also helps that I've had to do a lot of coming out now that I've changed my legal identity! There is nothing like being in a situation where you have to do something to help you do it!

rainbow kirby · 05-12-2010 03:07PM

Take them to a gay bar and get drunk.

lcrcboy · 05-12-2010 03:29PM

I never really thuaght about it happening but I suppose if a friend came out saying they were gay I would just say ahh shure no big deal

HarryPotter41 · 05-12-2010 03:31PM

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Take them to a gay bar and get drunk.

I bet thats your answer to everything

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

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