What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

cooltown

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

Brendog

I would play it cooltown

Links234

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

I would comfort them in any way I could, and of course I would accept them!

it would change our friendship, a friendship where you can be more honest about yourself is a stronger friendship than one where you're keeping secrets.

Dinner

I did have a friend that came out as gay.

Nothing changed.

Rockery Woman

It wouldn't matter to me if my friends were gay or straight.

I have gay friends, straight friends, Irish friends, non-Irish friends.

I love all my friends, they are kind, thoughtful, interesting people and I am priveleged to have them.

KeithM89_old

Nothing - it wouldnt change a thing. Unless of course it was a GF

Biggins

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

Yes, I would accept them.
Would it change my friendship? Not a jot.

One came out to me for example and he was a best friend.
Few weeks later I asked him to do me the honour of being my best man at my wedding, to my now wife.

Live and let live. End of story.

Xavi6

Links234 wrote: »

I would comfort them in any way I could,

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

Absurdum

bro's before ho's bro

Senna

A guy i know (not really a friend) did "come out" when he was drunk one night, he's now getting married to a woman. Probably not healthy, but none of my business.

Grindylow

Sure everyone knows if someone comes out to you it means they lovez ya.*
*may not be accurate.

Degag

Wouldn't change anything really i think.

ballsymchugh

it doesn't make any difference, although if they were a hot female, then i'd have to ask for some home videos or something..

brummytom

Kill them, and run away

Links234

Xavi6 wrote: »

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend. but yeah I would help them celebrate, but coming out is a very hard thing to do.

Xavi6

Links234 wrote: »

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend.

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

Dravokivich

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

No, why should it?

My brother's gay... doesn't change anything between me and him.

Agree with Xavi6 there as well, no need to make a deal out of it. Some people may feel awkward letting someone else know about it, but once is business as usual after, everything should be fine.

Saila

Degag wrote: »

Wouldn't change anything really i think.

not even your top to something looser

ballsymchugh

Xavi6 wrote: »

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

gotta agree here. i think it's easier to deal with something personal when people don't make a big deal out of it. after a death in the family i had all sorts of people thinking they could be my counsellor (all in good faith) but the best one was a guy who just asked what happened and was quite blunt when i think of it. better to be matter of fact than tool around with what we can't comprehend.

Links234

Xavi6 wrote: »

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

maybe it's just different for guys

my first reaction would be to hug them and to tell them I'm there for them any time. dunno, guess we'd just have different approaches. god knows I needed a hug coming out

Sugar Free

This is something going on at the moment in my group of mates! Well we think he is but haven't said anything nor would we.

If he did come out, like a couple of others, it would probably just be a shrug of the shoulders and continue on as normal. Really makes no difference to us.

Bruthal

Xavi6 wrote: »

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

Well they have not come out public in the OP`s scenario, just to you. So they would be trusting you as a friend to possibly keep it that way.

Dravokivich

robbie7730 wrote: »

Well they have not come out public in the OP`s scenario, just to you. So they would be trusting you as a friend to possibly keep it that way.

What difference does it make to the general public then? Everyone doesn't need to know these kind of things about people.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I agree with Xavi6. Hasn't happenned me but I would imagine that he'd get a shrug of the shoulders and hear "that's cool" just so he'd know that nothing has changed

A sexuality is just one part of you, there's a whole lot of other parts and I think it would be a big mistake to let anyone think that it defined them

HarryPotter41

I choose my friends on the basis of who they are, not what they are. Wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to me. Probably kill them for not telling me sooner!

starbelgrade

I'd ride them.

Napper Hawkins

Fap.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Links234 wrote: »

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend. but yeah I would help them celebrate, but coming out is a very hard thing to do.

Considering you're gay, why would a friend think that you wouldn't be their friend if they came out?

I know a fella that was a legend for pulling women, left everyone else for dust on nights out, then one day he just came out. Now he gets the piss taken out of him for being gay, but in a friendly way and it's not even an issue that he's gay. Way it should be, imo.

Da Shins Kelly

I have gay friends, and I'm friends with them because they're nice, interesting people. Being gay or straight doesn't have anything to do with it. Doesn't change anything, they're still good people.

Bruthal

Dravokivich wrote: »

What difference does it make to the general public then? Everyone doesn't need to know these kind of things about people.

No difference, i was just answering post #8

Capt'n Midnight

came out
gay 'yeah whatever'
lesbian - We'd have to form an alliance ask hotties which of us they were taking home (you can take both if you want :;)

coming on to
gay 'sorry you are not my type'
lesbian ':pac:'

cuming on to
gay 'dude, chill !'
lesbian *in my dreams*

scientific1982

I already have gay friends and family members. If one of my friends came out to me, I'd buy them a pint for having the courage to do so.

Napper Hawkins

I also have gay friends, they don't know it yet but still, they're good people.

Links234

baz2009 wrote: »

Considering you're gay, why would a friend think that you wouldn't be their friend if they came out?

I'm talking about how stressful coming out can be in general, not that a friend would be afraid that I wouldn't be their friend any more.

jeeze though, feels like everyone's jumping on me because I'm saying I'd have a more sensitive approach. maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes people do need a hug and a kind word and to be told that they have a friend who's there for them.

ps. not gay, transgender

Princess Peach

Drop the hand

Capt'n Midnight

*wonders if gay friends can introduce me to fag hags*

ballsymchugh

Princess Peach wrote: »

Drop the hand

let us know how that goes!

StereoLove

I would accept tham as they were. They are my friend after all and that's what friendship is all about:)

Kumejima

Kill it with fire!

wouldn't change anything

Caoimhín

Id play it cool. If it is a girl, i would slowly get around to the subject of a threesome.

Son Of A Vidic

The answer to your question is contained within the title of this thread. If a friend of mine 'came out', they would of course still be my friend. It wouldn't change anything as far as I'm concerned.

sam34

wouldnt change anything about our friendship

a friend of mine came out to me years ago, he was actually someone i'd had a brief fling with a few years prior to that, and when he later told me he was gay, i was very relaxed about it, just asked him was he seeing anyone and when he said he was i asked more about him and we arranged to meet

Well the first thing I'd do is congratulate them then just have everything as normal. A person's sexual preference doesn't change what I think of them before they came out.

galah

got a little annoyed at first when a friend came out - by text message, two seconds before I had to go into a big meeting at work. cheers love...not that it was that big of a surprise, but still - they expected emotional support and praise, I suppose, which I couldnt give since I was stuck talking about strategies and synergies...

anyhoo, point is: it didnt change anything - made the friendship better, even.

AskMyChocolate

Knowing my mates, it would almost certainly end up in a session with the lot of us laughing hysterically all night as we came up with ever more ridiculous stories/scenarios as to how our parents would react.*


*In fairness, to all our parents, although most of them are quite conservative, I can't imagine any of them giving any more of a **** about it than we would.

Micky Dolenz

I have a friend who we all knew was gay from an early age. It's still a running joke that he was the last to find out :P Nothing changed when he came out out.

Mint Sauce

Wish 'em well and then try and get on it with one of they're new female friends.

ps, wouldn't change a thing between us.

Kintarō Hattori

I wouldn't do anything. I'd be delighted that they came out to me and I'd treat them in the same manner I had done previously.

Fart

I had a mate who came out two years ago. We were in the pub at the time, I just shrugged it off and more pints in. He started talking about his Ex and stuff; made for a good conversation.

He brought me to a few gay bars, was fun lol.

efb

Well if a friend came out to me, I would be there 100% for him or her, cos I've been there, and I know how tough it can be.