What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

TeddyTedson

It's the 90's ffs, nothing would change.
Well they'd probably be the butt of a few jokes from the lads but that's about it.

arybvtcw0eolkf

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Well they'd probably be the butt of a few jokes from the lads but that's about it.

The WHAT?... :eek:

GLaDOS

I'd be flattered that they trusted me to be the one of the first for them to tell tbh. Wouldn't change anything though.

Apanachi

Would have absolutely no problem with it, a friend of mine came out a few years ago, after a while she told me I was her dream woman, but knows I'm not only not lesbian but also happily married, even knowing that she fancies doesn't bother me, because I know she won't try any "funny stuff" on me.

Capt'n Midnight

TeddyTedson wrote: »

It's the 90's ffs,

I think you might have overslept a tad

Duggy747

If they told me I'd give them a handshake, a complimentary watch, and a "good luck and thanks for participating in this group of friends"..................and then call security.

Seriously though, nobody in my close circle is gay..................or least a closet one, anyways :pac: so I've never had a friend admit to me. Had one arsewipe admit to me that he was gay, I wasn't fazed...............and well.............I really didn't care because I didn't like him one bit, the fat git.

bodice ripper

Rockery Woman wrote: »

Unfortunately in Ireland 2010 many (not all of) the older generation cannot accept gay people. The over 50's in particular seem particularly against it - perhaps its the catholic church teachings drummed into them. Its a shame as I knew several young guys who commited suicide over the years who I suspected were gay and hadn't the nerve to come out.

Its time for the older generation to be educated, to learn that having a son or daughter who is gay is not a big deal. Ok there will be no big traditional white wedding, maybe no grandkids, maybe people will whisper and point - but he/she is still your son/daughter who still loves you and deserves love, respect and happiness in their lives.

Because I would certainly prefer to have a gay son/daughter who is happily living their life than visit them in a cemetry.

While the above is obviously true, i just thought I would chime in here to say there are always champions who are exceptions to the rule.

My grandmother is 86 and from the depths of Mayo. she was the last family member I told i was bi, not becuase I was certain she would freak out, but becuase her opinion of me matters more than everyone elses'.

Her immeadiate response was "oh is that lovely girl your girlfriend? Oh good, it's lovely to see you with someone from the West."

at christmas she gave my girlfriend a teddy with a card that read "I don't want you to think you only got this teddy for christmas, because you also got a new grandmother".

grandma rocks

sbsquarepants

A few years back a friend of mine got himself quite drunk to work up the courage to tell me that he was gay, my response was "why are you telling me, i knew you were gay within 2 minutes of meeting you" It never occured to me that he thought it was a secret or something.
I think it was actually a weight off his shoulders to be honest that people knew but didn't care. He comes from rural italy where apparently it is VERY much frowned upon and as such quite secretive.
People are what they are and what goes on in a persons bedroom is no one elses business, as far as i'm concerned anything consensual between any two (or more!) people is fine in my book. It wouldn't impact on my opinion of anyone

stovelid

I'd lead a baying mob up to their house and string them up from a lamppost.

sbsquarepants

bodice ripper wrote: »

While the above is obviously true, i just thought I would chime in here to say there are always champions who are exceptions to the rule.

My grandmother is 86 and from the depths of Mayo. she was the last family member I told i was bi, not becuase I was certain she would freak out, but becuase her opinion of me matters more than everyone elses'.

Her immeadiate response was "oh is that lovely girl your girlfriend? Oh good, it's lovely to see you with someone from the West."

at christmas she gave my girlfriend a teddy with a card that read "I don't want you to think you only got this teddy for christmas, because you also got a new grandmother".

grandma rocks

I have to say, that is one seriously cool granny you've got there:D

Kimono-Girl

sbsquarepants wrote: »

People are what they are and what goes on in a persons bedroom is no one elses business, as far as i'm concerned anything consensual between any two (or more!) people is fine in my book. It wouldn't impact on my opinion of anyone

^

this is exactly my opinion!



Do people seriously still have issues with being friends with people who are gay?


it doesn't make a difference to me what your sexual orientation is... I know mine and that is all that effects me!


I once lived in a house with 3 girls, i was the only straight one (i was in a relationship at the time) and i couldn't have picked nicer housemates and they didn't judge me for being straight...

imo people should be allowed make the choices they want to make without having someone elses way of life forced upon them!

CrazyRabbit

I have a friend who despite being a really decent guy in general, is a strict Muslin and therefore, erm, not exactly approving of the gay lifestyle.

Over the years, he has made some pretty bad comments about the gay lifestyle, and I had to keep reminding him not to say it in front of me as I found it offensive even though I'm not gay.

Last year, I introduced him to another friend (John), who is gay and extremely camp (Pink belly tops, purple shorts tied with ribbon etc). Well, cue about 30 mins of extreme awkwardness, followed by several hours of laughs they got to know each other. It must have had a pretty strong impact, as 4 months ago his brother came out as gay and it wasn't anywhere near as explosive as I thought it would be. I wouldn't say he's happy about it, but at least he's not damning him to hell.

I guess my point is that ignorance and fear are still abundant in our society and a little education goes a long way. Hopefully we get to a point where 'coming out' is not even needed as being gay is seen as no different as being straight.

As for what I'd do personally, most of my friends know my stance and wouldn't be concerned about coming out as gay to me. If they did, I'd see if they needed comfort and offer it if required...otherwise, it's just business as usual.

CrazyRabbit

AH Answer:

I have a friend who came out as gay last month. I'm completly fine with it, but I wish he'd stop trying to rape me every time we are alone.

HarryPotter41

crayolastereo wrote: »

Everybody here is so much nicer than my friends:mad::mad:

Just want to point out, in the event that it ever happens to anyone, if they come out to you, they are coming out to YOU specifically. It is not a thing they may want everyone to know and definitely isn't something they want someone else spreading around. Not being mean to everyone here but its something some people seem to think is OK to do.

Every private conversation a friend has with me is just that, a private conversation.. Would never pass on info like that to anyone.

Ss4444

Why would it change anything? If u r a real friend it wudnt bother u

PlayGirl

When my mum Told me my brothers gay (he was traveling..think I was 12 ish?) She told me and I barely looked up "oh right grand" is all I said..
Think she expected more of a reaction cause she asked what I thought, I just said that if he's gay now chances are he always was, even if not he's still the same person, just because I didn't know before doesn't change him at all..

So yea, doesn't bother me...

Guill

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

I would go to the local priest and get the cure off of him.

Thankfully i was vaccinated young.

Why are so many people against vaccinations?

Up-n-atom!

My friend came out to me a little while ago via text (pretty sure she posted her story a bit earlier on this thread, recognise her user name from elsewhere) - anyhew, she had told me she was bi before (it was almost the first thing I learned about her) so it wasn't exactly a huge shock. But I know it meant a lot to her that she had the support of her friends because she was scared about coming out to her family and other changes she was planning on making in her life.

Again, I think it was one of the situations where other people knew before she did - I remember over the summer I mentioned something about her boyfriend to my mam, who was like 'Is she not a lesbian?' - was really funny at the time, my brother nearly spat out his dinner (and bearing in mind my mam has never met this person - I think I must've mentioned a previous girlfriend of hers!)

I've found out that other friends of mine (not very close ones or ones that I've grown away from) were gay from facebook, which was a bit weird - more so because I start to scan my memories of any encounters we've had trying to decide if I've missed any mention of it. Again, didn't affect the way I felt about them, I just felt I wasn't a very sensitive or perceptive friend!

I think we're fairly tolerant in this country - people can gay-bash a lot but when it comes down to it, if a person they knew came out or if they had actual contact with gay people I think they'd be a lot more open (but not always of course). A Polish friend of mine commented on how she'd never have thought it was ok to be gay before coming here - but she when she moved here she met several gay people and seen that it was acceptable enough, and even had gay friends in the end.

Greenmachine

Wouldn't bother me. Have gay friends. Bump into people all the time I used to work with or go to school with who are now out. Their sexuality won't change my opinion of them. Why should it. How a person behaves and whether they are respectful is more important to me.