What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

cooltown · 05-12-2010 03:29AM #1

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

Brendog · 05-12-2010 03:31AM

I would play it cooltown

Links234 · 05-12-2010 03:32AM

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

I would comfort them in any way I could, and of course I would accept them!

it would change our friendship, a friendship where you can be more honest about yourself is a stronger friendship than one where you're keeping secrets.

Dinner · 05-12-2010 03:33AM

I did have a friend that came out as gay.

Nothing changed.

Rockery Woman · 05-12-2010 03:33AM

It wouldn't matter to me if my friends were gay or straight.

I have gay friends, straight friends, Irish friends, non-Irish friends.

I love all my friends, they are kind, thoughtful, interesting people and I am priveleged to have them.

KeithM89_old · 05-12-2010 03:34AM

Nothing - it wouldnt change a thing. Unless of course it was a GF

Biggins · 05-12-2010 03:34AM

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

Yes, I would accept them.
Would it change my friendship? Not a jot.

One came out to me for example and he was a best friend.
Few weeks later I asked him to do me the honour of being my best man at my wedding, to my now wife.

Live and let live. End of story.

Xavi6 · 05-12-2010 03:34AM

Links234 wrote: »

I would comfort them in any way I could,

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

Absurdum · 05-12-2010 03:36AM

bro's before ho's bro

Senna · 05-12-2010 03:38AM

A guy i know (not really a friend) did "come out" when he was drunk one night, he's now getting married to a woman. Probably not healthy, but none of my business.

Grindylow · 05-12-2010 03:38AM

Sure everyone knows if someone comes out to you it means they lovez ya.*
*may not be accurate.

Degag · 05-12-2010 03:38AM

Wouldn't change anything really i think.

ballsymchugh · 05-12-2010 03:40AM

it doesn't make any difference, although if they were a hot female, then i'd have to ask for some home videos or something..

brummytom · 05-12-2010 03:40AM

Kill them, and run away

Links234 · 05-12-2010 03:41AM

Xavi6 wrote: »

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend. but yeah I would help them celebrate, but coming out is a very hard thing to do.

Xavi6 · 05-12-2010 03:44AM

Links234 wrote: »

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend.

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

Dravokivich · 05-12-2010 03:46AM

cooltown wrote: »

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?
Would you accept them?
Would it change your friendship with them?

No, why should it?

My brother's gay... doesn't change anything between me and him.

Agree with Xavi6 there as well, no need to make a deal out of it. Some people may feel awkward letting someone else know about it, but once is business as usual after, everything should be fine.

Saila · 05-12-2010 03:48AM

Degag wrote: »

Wouldn't change anything really i think.

not even your top to something looser

ballsymchugh · 05-12-2010 03:49AM

Xavi6 wrote: »

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

gotta agree here. i think it's easier to deal with something personal when people don't make a big deal out of it. after a death in the family i had all sorts of people thinking they could be my counsellor (all in good faith) but the best one was a guy who just asked what happened and was quite blunt when i think of it. better to be matter of fact than tool around with what we can't comprehend.

Links234 · 05-12-2010 03:50AM

Xavi6 wrote: »

With all due respect that's just you.

The fact that your first instinct is to comfort them and give them reassurance, which they may not have thought was even possibly an issue, has negative conotations when you should just be positive.

My best friend at the time came out to me in the pub and you could see he was shitting it. My reaction was to shrug my shoulders and ask him if he wanted a pint. You could see that meant much more to him than any comforting or reassuring ever could.

maybe it's just different for guys

my first reaction would be to hug them and to tell them I'm there for them any time. dunno, guess we'd just have different approaches. god knows I needed a hug coming out

Sugar Free · 05-12-2010 03:52AM

This is something going on at the moment in my group of mates! Well we think he is but haven't said anything nor would we.

If he did come out, like a couple of others, it would probably just be a shrug of the shoulders and continue on as normal. Really makes no difference to us.

Bruthal · 05-12-2010 03:57AM

Xavi6 wrote: »

Comfort them? What's there to comfort?

Chances are you'd be helping them celebrate the fact that they've been strong enough to make it public.

Well they have not come out public in the OP`s scenario, just to you. So they would be trusting you as a friend to possibly keep it that way.

Dravokivich · 05-12-2010 04:00AM

robbie7730 wrote: »

Well they have not come out public in the OP`s scenario, just to you. So they would be trusting you as a friend to possibly keep it that way.

What difference does it make to the general public then? Everyone doesn't need to know these kind of things about people.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 05-12-2010 04:01AM

I agree with Xavi6. Hasn't happenned me but I would imagine that he'd get a shrug of the shoulders and hear "that's cool" just so he'd know that nothing has changed

A sexuality is just one part of you, there's a whole lot of other parts and I think it would be a big mistake to let anyone think that it defined them

HarryPotter41 · 05-12-2010 04:04AM

I choose my friends on the basis of who they are, not what they are. Wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to me. Probably kill them for not telling me sooner!

starbelgrade · 05-12-2010 04:04AM

I'd ride them.

Napper Hawkins · 05-12-2010 04:20AM

Fap.

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 05-12-2010 04:20AM

Links234 wrote: »

coming out can be seriously hard, I've cried uncontrollably when I came out to some friends and family. as accepting as a lot of people are, there are still people who'll ditch their friends and wouldn't want to speak to them again. there's a fear when you come out to someone, even someone you know pretty well, that they won't be accepting and they won't want to be friends any longer.

so yeah, I'd comfort them and reassure them that I'm still a friend. but yeah I would help them celebrate, but coming out is a very hard thing to do.

Considering you're gay, why would a friend think that you wouldn't be their friend if they came out?

I know a fella that was a legend for pulling women, left everyone else for dust on nights out, then one day he just came out. Now he gets the piss taken out of him for being gay, but in a friendly way and it's not even an issue that he's gay. Way it should be, imo.

Da Shins Kelly · 05-12-2010 04:20AM

I have gay friends, and I'm friends with them because they're nice, interesting people. Being gay or straight doesn't have anything to do with it. Doesn't change anything, they're still good people.

Bruthal · 05-12-2010 04:24AM

Dravokivich wrote: »

What difference does it make to the general public then? Everyone doesn't need to know these kind of things about people.

No difference, i was just answering post #8

Capt'n Midnight · 05-12-2010 04:25AM

came out
gay 'yeah whatever'
lesbian

- We'd have to form an alliance ask hotties which of us they were taking home (you can take both if you want :;)

coming on to
gay 'sorry you are not my type'
lesbian ':pac:'

cuming on to
gay 'dude, chill !'
lesbian *in my dreams*

What would you do if you had a friend that came out as gay/lesbian to you?

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