Of all the questions

I think the unwritten assumptions in this post are my favourite

Sardonicat wrote: »

What I mean is that, given that this guy claims to work with abuse
survivors, he really should be more careful about engaging in sexual
conversation with two kids (by his own estimation 12-14) who are not
known to him because sex is a shameful topic that should be left to
children to figure out for themselves because they'd rather walk up
to a stranger & ask instead of asking their parents, regardless of how
tactful he did it or well intentioned it was meant.

He should know only too well the mechanisms of grooming because this
is obviously relevant everytime we talk to kids & although I'm not
insinuating he was grooming children I'll just mention it anway for
unspecified reasons. It really should not be encouraged for a kid that
young to be getting sexual education from a complete (adult) stranger
they know nothing about because I think that kids this young are too
innocent, I mean it's not like a kid of 9 would know the answer to
this question - are you mad, or a pervert? :eek:.


Fine, the op is alright, but the next guy he asks might not be and even
though that has absolutely no relevance to the point I'm making
about the OP being irresponsible I'll mention it anyway because it's
somehow relevant.

Not to mention what the kid's parents would think assuming they didn't
already give the kids a fob story motivating them to ask a stranger
instead.

I do find it hard to believe that someone who works with abuse survivors
would do something like this because even though I don't see talking to
children about natural human issues as abuse I will just mention this
randomly. The OP is not the only person on here who works/worked with
vulnerable people. This would not be regarded as good practice because
talking to children on the street is work. The opposite, in fact.
Therefore, I find his actions disturbing.

All joking aside I think your outlook is utterly ridiculous & nothing you've
said actually holds any substance it is just fearmongering which while
I'm sure you may feel this way is just crazy with regard to reality. I'm not
in the business of lying to children or holding back on answering a question
that a kid was curious enough to ask about. I bet he'd asked loads of
people on the street who fobbed him off & it didn't stop him, a bit
of honesty from human beings isn't a bad thing.

Still awaiting confirmation of what happens when chicks get a boner.

[ ] thread delivers

blogga wrote: »

i'm going to take the fact that you asked as confirmation that you lacked the social skill to avoid the situation. You have to realise that engaging in that discussion has made you vulnerable to all sorts of follow ups. Get the thread closed.

:pac:

blogga wrote: »

I was referring to one. Geddit?

What social skill do you refer to, would it be the one where you humour
children & treat them like lesser beings by not giving them honest answers
to questions they ask? Or how about the one where we're too shy to have
an honest conversation about an aspect of life that is for some reason
taboo, unjustifiably, in our culture? Were you referring to that other
social skill where a policeman inside your head prevents you from speaking
to a child for fear of someone else seeing you & assuming your "grooming"
them? So many of these skills to choose from so I'd ask you to clarify
whhich one you were passionately referring to that some of us are
obiously unaware of?

Obviously people have different ideas of what is and is not appropiate to speak about with children you don't know.

Personally speaking, if I heard a random woman had a conversation like that with my 12 year old sister, I would be slightly disturbed. Granted that may be down to my own views, you might think this is the "problem with society" and we need to be more open etc, but you have to respect the fact that a lot of people would feel that way.

The people who are saying that it's way to PC to even consider, that what the OP did could be seen as inappropiate, can you honestly say that if your child came home and said that a man up the road told you what happens to a woman when she gets aroused, you wouldn't mind at all?

I'm sure the OP meant no harm and I'd imagine it was a very informative conversation but surely you need to respect other peoples boundaries. And many peoples boundaries would lie pretty far from having a stranger give your child a sex ed class on the street.

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

If a random woman started a conversation about sex with your 12 year old
sister I'd think you'd be best off calling the police.
If your 12 year old sister started a conversation asking questions to this
random woman & she answered honestly I'd be disturbed as to why my
12 year old sister chose to go to strangers to ask such questions...

absolutely agree with this.

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

The op clearly states that a kid comes up to him asking questions
yet all we read are insinuations of disturbing grooming & questions about
moral & social character. I think there are certain things that need to be
thought about & critically evaluated, & answering a child honestly is
not the thing that we need to change...

To be fair I pretty clearly stated that I'm sure the OP did no harm and I'm not reading into anything. My issue, if I was that boys mother, I would have thought most people would have enough respect for others boundaries to avoid a situation that most parents would have a problem with.

You have to admit that most parents would not be happy with a stranger speaking to a child about sex (I assume?) - and even if the child did ask, the OP is an adult, the child is a child. Of course it would be better if the boy could ask someone in his own home/family, but it's not up to the OP to rectify that.

I'm not questioning the op's motives at all. He obviously meant well.

Odysseus wrote: »

I am, but I think it would be unfair to post them, even though some thought they where able to analyse me and my motivations.

There's a technical name for that, arm-something, or chair-thingey? :pac: