Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1

LegacyUser · 05-11-2010 4:27pm #1

Hi just curious has there ever been a time where you wanted to tell something to someone but couldn't what did you want to say.

Dear ________

You made me so upset today that I could barely breathe I wish it didn't have to be like this and you could be more mature about it. I can't see a future if there not involved because at the end of the day that's all I wanted. You broke my heart.

MOD NOTE

This thread just does what is says on the tin - please post in another more appropriate thread/forum if you want to give advice/comment on posts/chat to other posters.

Many thanks

Will · 05-11-2010 7:10pm

Dear people who treated me badly in the past (ex's, "friends", randomers, the lot)

Thank you for helping me become the person I am today, without you I wouldn't;

Appreciate the nicer things in life.
Have seen who my true friends were.
Be a stronger individual.

I'm sure there's lots more that I'm thankful for but I don't really give you people a lot of thought nowadays. No hard feelings, I hope you are all well and wish you the best in the future.

Will.

Asphyxia · 05-11-2010 8:30pm

Dear ____
I wish you were here and we were still friends because I do miss you, our chats and hanging out I never thought a silly fight would mess things up. I'm sorry.

Dear_____
You have no right to judge me the way you did I never did anything wrong to you I wasn't the one to hurt you. Any bad things I ever said to you was to defend myself from you hurtful remarks you gave, I was young but I was still a person not the cruel thing you described me as. You only saw your side and didn't think how any of it effected me.

deelite · 05-11-2010 8:33pm

Dear (Ex boyfriend),

Look what you're missing......

Faith · 05-11-2010 9:20pm

You know when you can see something really clearly about a person, but they can't see it themselves? I'd love to tell my ex all of that. None of it is mean, but it's nothing he'll want to hear either (how he self-sabotages every opportunity he gets etc). I wish he could see what I can, but I doubt there's any point in saying it to him.

squeakyduck · 05-11-2010 10:21pm

Dear X,Y and Z,

I hope you enjoyed the pain and upset you put me through before I went to college, making my last few months an absolute misery. Jokes on you though as I'm actually doing something with my life, while you're still sitting on your arse with the same boyfriend you had years ago!

Try and catch up!

SD

Dear so and so,
Thanks for giving me the kick in the arse I finally needed to get out of my rut. You helped me when I was low, but I put up a front so you would never see how **** I was feeling underneath it all. You were the beginning of a new chapter of my life in Dublin. You helped me develop a certain confidence another someone took away from me, which now I'm told is a very attractive point of mine!

Cheers

SD

Kablamo! · 06-11-2010 1:40pm

My Dearest Daddy,
You always told me I didn't appreciate you enough- then start humming "You'll never miss your mother 'til she's buried beneath the clay".
You were absolutely spot on. I just never imagined that you would leave us so soon, or that there would be such a void left in my life.
The past year or so of our relationship we fought like cat and dog. With the benefit of hindsight I know now why: I am you. I have your temper, you mannerisms, but most of all your stubborn nature. This horrifies and amuses me in equal measure

.
If I could turn back the clock, well...
When you dropped me to secondary school and asked for a kiss at the gates? I wouldn't worry about looking 'cool'. When you told me stories about your childhood, instead of turning up the volume on the radio, I would have given you my full attention. Instead of getting frustrated by your pushing me to go to college, get a job, whatever, I would have realised that you never wanted to pressurize me... You were just so proud of me you thought the world needed to know what I can do.
My last words to you would change- I told you to "F off and die", and funnily enough, you had a heart attack a few hours later. The first time you ever did what I told you to. Knowing what I do now, I'd tell you that you were great, you were the best, and I was so lucky and blessed to have you for my father.
Love, eternally,
Your Little Girl x

LegacyUser · 06-11-2010 2:23pm

Oh god that post about your father has me in serious tears here.

I live about 3 hours from my home place and always feel guilty that I dont get to see my family enough, especiallly if god forbid anything ever happens to any of them. Plus I'm a total daddys girl

Hope you're doing ok!

Joey the lips · 06-11-2010 3:00pm

dont worry kab dads fight with there parents as well. i imagine if he could answer you he would tell you not to be upset. its something we do when growing up.
please god it will help you forgive your son or daughter when you fight with them

IrishGrimReaper · 06-11-2010 4:31pm

Dear ex's family.

I'm no small fish. Watch out for the Sharks.

Princess Peach · 06-11-2010 6:51pm

I write letters to people and then never give them to them. It really helps to get your feelings out. Wish I had the guts to give them sometimes, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings, even if they have hurt me a lot.

Dear ex boyfriend

You are an asshole. We used to be in love and you treat me like a one night stand. I did nothing but love you and you used my feelings to get what you wanted. I've never felt so used and disrespected in my life, I expected so much more from you, who used to say that I mattered more than anything in your life and you change so suddenly and harshly. And the fact that you know damn well what kind of emotional effect your actions have on me, you know how upset and worthless I feel. You are an emotional retard and if you keep treating girls like this you will end up sad and alone for the rest of your life. Don't expect me to wait around for you, I'm never taking you back again.

Hugs and kisses xxx

If only I could get angry and say this to his face, he deserves to hear it

Chuchoter · 06-11-2010 7:54pm

There was a girl last year who was my best friend and I had a huge crush on her. I came out to her, and she pretended to be ok with it. I'll never forgive her for not just telling her real best friend, but flinching away from me any time I came near. I want her to know I could see that fear and disgust in her eyes, even if she didn't think I did, and I'll never forgive her for that. Whats worse is she still thinks she's cool for being 'friends' with a gay person.

Also, my first year hockey coach, who is now back in the school: you were horrible to me!! And your eyebrows are a disgrace!:P

Dudess · 06-11-2010 8:08pm

Kablamo! wrote: »

My Dearest Daddy,
You always told me I didn't appreciate you enough- then start humming "You'll never miss your mother 'til she's buried beneath the clay".
You were absolutely spot on. I just never imagined that you would leave us so soon, or that there would be such a void left in my life.
The past year or so of our relationship we fought like cat and dog. With the benefit of hindsight I know now why: I am you. I have your temper, you mannerisms, but most of all your stubborn nature. This horrifies and amuses me in equal measure .
If I could turn back the clock, well...
When you dropped me to secondary school and asked for a kiss at the gates? I wouldn't worry about looking 'cool'. When you told me stories about your childhood, instead of turning up the volume on the radio, I would have given you my full attention. Instead of getting frustrated by your pushing me to go to college, get a job, whatever, I would have realised that you never wanted to pressurize me... You were just so proud of me you thought the world needed to know what I can do.
My last words to you would change- I told you to "F off and die", and funnily enough, you had a heart attack a few hours later. The first time you ever did what I told you to. Knowing what I do now, I'd tell you that you were great, you were the best, and I was so lucky and blessed to have you for my father.
Love, eternally,
Your Little Girl x

Beautifully written post. Like a poster above, it made me cry... Condolences...

Pembily · 07-11-2010 12:39am

Dear Aiden, you turned me into someone I never wanted to be... I did everything for you, did everything you wanted and it still wasn't enough!? You picked on everything I did and said, you are a homophobic pr!ck and made me feel guilty for being friends with my best friend... You made me feel like a slut for talking about and to my class mates, I had to talk to and about them I was with them most of each day!?

You said you weren't jealous but you got so sh!tty when I talked to guys and ironically you were the one who cheated on me and kept it secret for 3 years! You broke my heart twice when you dumped me and I was so stupid to go back... You never supported me in anything, you said sh!te things after my cousin, my best friend and go-to-guy died!? You didn't want me to have friends or family, you controlled all my life and fcuked me up...

But I've moved on, I am a smart, nice, caring person and you just made me stronger and realise I don't need w@nkers in my life and I deserve proper happiness, so thanks for showing me that, I also laugh at how, ironically, you turned into your dad although you tried so hard not to be!

Jokes on you ass!

To all the other non-specific arseholes who were in my life ye also made me stronger and look how I changed, can't say the same about ye

Thanks for starting this thread...

Nervous Wreck · 07-11-2010 12:44am

Dear Ciarán,

I'm really sorry for being an asshole to you that time.

NW

spinningwheel · 07-11-2010 1:08am

Dear P.

your fist doesn't control her anymore and shes soooooooo happy. im not the quite little girl anymore. just wait till the day i see you again. P***k.

Dear V.

Im sorry

.. im so so sorry!! but i can't help it.

LegacyUser · 08-11-2010 1:04am

Eirik,

The day you went from being my best friend to being the love of my life is still one I fondly remember. For 2.5 years we went through it all; a serious illness, divorce, a custody battle and then living 9 hours and thousands of miles apart. When we were together, it was like nothing else matter except you and me. When we were apart, it felt like time was standing still. I can't think of anyone in my life who has done all the things you did for me and I never appreciated it at the time, you were devoted and the connection we shared unbreakable. You're still the last thing I think of before I fall asleep, the first person I think of when I wake and if I wake during the night, I lie for ages remembering everything we shared and wondering why I walked away. Neither of us was able to make the ultimate sacrifice and give up their life for the other and after my recent break up, it just clicked, I've spent the last two years searching for what I already had. We had everything and dumbass here just walked away, and refused you every time you tried to 'win' me back.

I hope you find the love and companionship you deserve.

monroebaby · 08-11-2010 5:17am

Dear P.

I will never stop loving you as long as I draw breath.

Novella · 09-11-2010 2:10am

Dear grandad,

I wish I let you know more often how much you mean to me. I wish you knew that no matter how bad things have ever been, or how low I've ever felt, the very fact of being lucky enough to have you in my life always made me feel better. I wish I knew what to do without you. Knowing you for every single second of my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me, will always be the best thing but it might be worst too, 'cause I think I'll forever be lost without you.

Thanks for teaching me about love - not with words or by giving in to my every little demand... but by being the constant, the one person I never doubted, the one who never caused any tears but dried thousands. I always thought to myself that it must be something bigger than love, 'cause so many people say, "It's the ones closest to you who hurt you the most"... But that's wrong, isn't it? 'Cause I can't think of one time, not even one, when I was upset by you. And it's not that it's easy to forget the bad times. I've tried and tried to remember a moment when maybe you raised your voice 'cause I was stepping on your flowers, but I can't 'cause no moment existed. You've loved me so much that without thinking, you've protected me and I hope I always gave you the same back.

When I was younger, people used to say that I had you wrapped around my little finger... You always had yourself wrapped around mine too.

Smallbit · 09-11-2010 3:30pm

Dear ex-husband
It's a source of constant irritation to me that neither you, nor any of our old 'friends' seem to understand why I left you.

You were increasingly obnoxious, oblivious, and patronizing to me over our 20 years together. You sneered at my lack of education yet resisted my efforts to return to study when our children were almost raised.

You never supported a single initiative of mine, you never remembered a birthday, you never acknowledged my role, and yet you still act like the injured party because I left you.

Just because you never physically hit me doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Just because your motives weren't malicious doesn't mean you are blameless.

If you can begin to try to understand this, you might now be able to act like a mature adult when I'm forced by circumstance to be in your company.

Not Yours...

LegacyUser · 09-11-2010 7:50pm

Dear M******,

I should have told you when you walked into my workplace, or when I saw you on the train, that you have taken something from me that I'm still slowly fighting to get back, but even then my mouth went dry and I froze. I wonder how you'd feel if you knew though.

I know I'm loud and opinionated, and that I can be very irritating, but it's the best way to cover up how terrified I am whenever people get too close to me. I am pushing people away because I still can't get over how vulnerable and frightened you made me in my own house, simply because I said no, or how close I was to not being able to fight you off.

I worry that you've done that to someone else since, and she hasn't been able to push you away and kick you out. I feel guilty that I didn't put my hand up and admit that I was scared that you lived so close by. I'm afraid that you've hurt someone like you wanted to hurt me and it's my fault for not doing something.

I was always a big girl, but for years after you I ate how I felt, and now I'm fighting against that too. I feel like a failure because I let something that happened so long ago take me over. I worry that I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life if I can't just move on and put this behind me. I feel like a drama queen, like I'm being silly and it's stupid to panic every time someone gets too close. I'm afraid that it was my fault. I'm afraid that no wasn't enough. A big part of me thinks I was in the wrong. I know I wasn't, but even I don't believe it. How could I expect anyone else to believe me if I don't believe myself?

I actually don't wish you any malice. I just hope you've never done what you tried to do to me to anyone else. Nothing really happened, so I could cope with knowing I was a fluke, just too much drink and stupidity.

I'd like to say I'm getting there, that I'm working on it and I'm going to be fine with men any day now. Maybe I will get to that point, but not just yet.

DD

mojesius · 09-11-2010 8:11pm

Dear Stranger in school,

I never saw you again to thank you for reaching out to someone in need. I'm eternally grateful for your compassion and wish you the very best in life.

J

Blush_01 · 09-11-2010 8:16pm

Dear Girl-who-helped-me-up,

I know I was a first year, and you were a sixth year, and I was mortified, but I'd probably still be on my back in the middle of the road on that ice like a stranded turtle because of my schoolbag with my skirt around my waist if you handn't helped me up. Everyone else was too busy pointing and laughing.

I know I ran off with barely a mumbled thanks, but I really appreciated it.

I hope you're well!

Blush

Stench Blossoms · 09-11-2010 8:28pm

Dear Ex-Boyfriend.

You owe my dad 350e for the flight he paid for for you.

Regards

teacherspet · 09-11-2010 8:51pm

Dearest Mother,
my life has not always been easy with you, you were a hurtful person. Jealous of your own daughters. The lies you told me were horrible. Involving me in your affairs was wrong, I was only 11. My poor father he always loved you and forgave you. You turned each of your children against each other for your own benefit in the most horrible way.
Your dead now and I dont miss you at all. Isn't that a sad to to have to admit.
My children will be devastated when I pass on. Becaused I have loved them.

sineadgalway · 09-11-2010 10:42pm

Dear D,

I wish I sh*gged you while I had the chance,

Best,
S.

metrovelvet · 09-11-2010 10:45pm

Yes you are smaller than average.

LegacyUser · 09-11-2010 11:46pm

Dear Ex-Boyfriend

I am still in love with you and I know if I called you right now and told you it would be perfect. Yes, like you said we do belong together but to be honest that scares me! Some days I make myself believe I love being single but in all honesty all I want to do is be with you. I want to marry you and live with you and have babies with you but I'm so scared about it all I can't do it! I'm sorry for all this, you deserve better than me.

LegacyUser · 09-11-2010 11:52pm

Dear NOB

Yes, you are a bitch and even your parents have realised it at this stage. I feel sorry for you. You always put me down, I was meant to be your best friend and you walked all over me! I hope you having fun now being alone because every other friend you've had you've done the same to them...

Funny thing..I don't hate you, I just want to say thanks..you changed me to the person I am now! I like me now and so do a lot of other people!!

Thanks!! x

laurashambles · 10-11-2010 12:44am

Person 1: I know you take some kind of perverse pride in the fact that you think you completely f**ked up my life, but you really didn't. You're not that important. And I'm willing to bet that you are more messed up than I will ever be.

Person 2: YOUR EXTENSIONS LOOK RIDICULOUS.

Person 3: You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity.

Person 4: You were not worth all that time or angst.

Kablamo! · 10-11-2010 2:14am

Dear Mammy,
I have tried so hard to love you as best I can.
My father always told me you had a sickness; but now I'm older, I realise that despite common thought it is not a sickness- it is a greed.
I have followed you to the shops asking if I am not more important to you than the drink is... and despite your answers you always end up drunk.
You have said the most unimaginable, hurtful things to me- "Rot in hell with your father" would be one, but I know that somewhere inside you, you understand what you're doing and don't like it. How you can choose whiskey above our family life is beyond me, but sadly I respect it. You have your own issues and you don't know how to deal with them. If you ever opened up there is a mass of people waiting with open arms to heal your hurt.
I have an awful lot of anger, and I suppose issues would be the most appropriate word, involving you, but;
Guess what?
It's just me and you now, and Dad never gave up on you. I won't either.
Love you no matter what,
Kablamo!

kiwi123 · 10-11-2010 11:03pm

Dear _____

I am so sorry for what i did, i still think about it, it huts me every day. I'm embarrassed by it and i regret it deeply.
What hurts me more though is that you didn't believe in me enough to forgive me

K

Wagon · 11-11-2010 10:36pm

Dear D****n

Thank you for the opportunity to work in Dunnes Stores. You were my superior and took your job as floor manager very seriously. I was grateful for the few bob i got and the work experience I gained.

I was not grateful for the treatment i received at the hands of you. As i was 19 and wanted some money, i was afraid to stand up for myself. But if I recall, i did make it pretty clear that i couldn't work early because of the bus and that the first one into town didn't arrive on saturday mornings until about 7am (this is why i agreed to work the EVENING shift when i started) I told you many times and it fell on deaf ears. And yet, you STILL decided the ideal thing to do was to scram at me about how useless i was at the front door in front of everyone passing on their way to work.

As im a little older, and wiser and stronger, if i could go back 5 years i would stroll up casually at 9am and punch your teeth down your fúcking throat. You arrogant, self absorbed little culchie bollocks. Maybe you got a kick out of humiliating someone 10 years younger then you in public, but trust me, you command about as much respect in my eyes as a child porn collector. Maybe I'll see your big thick head in some crappy pub on baggot street one day. Please feel free to apologise. I'll be the long haired bloke (I look a little like the lead singer of the Kooks apperently) with the pissed off expression and bottle in my hand.

Regards
Wagon

PS. You're a complete bellend.

That's better!! Thank you LL!

liah · 11-11-2010 11:09pm

To.. well, whatever it is I'm supposed to call you. "Dad" seems a bit much.

You left a beautiful three year old baby girl behind because you were messed up. You missed out on me becoming who I am, you missed out on making memories with me. You claim you've thought of me so much over the years, and the beautiful way you write nearly had me believe it. And I guess I wanted to believe it, even though I had long ago accepted the idea that you were never going to be a part of my life.

When you contacted me (on Facebook, of all things) not too far from this time last year, I, stupidly, thought you would want to know about the daughter you'd lost. I know I wanted to know everything about you. You told me a lot about you, and it scared me how alike we were in our musical tastes and political views and taste in literature despite having never conversed. You sent me so many beautiful recollections of our time together when I was a child, told me all about the family on your side that I had never had the chance to know, told me about my family history and showed me pictures of us together when I was small.. some of the only pictures I have documenting my childhood.

But it started to go wrong, and the more I asked you about "our" past the more you turned it into a rant about my mother. Told me how I shouldn't've listened to her, that she'd "got" to me and filled my head up with all these horrible things. That she was vicious and manipulative and cruel. And the more I noticed that this wasn't about me-- this was never about me. This was about you trying to have some sort of revenge, trying to play the victim and play me against the only parent I've had for twenty years.

I spent a lot of time in tears while reading all the things you sent me. I'd been so overwhelmed by the whole experience-- who wouldn't've been, after 20 years?!-- I hadn't even stopped to think about what it was you were really saying. I now realize that all you are is a bitter, disillusioned old man who is too much of a coward to take responsibility for his past and instead must blame everyone else for his own shortcomings.. most of all my mother for taking away what you claim to be the "only thing you ever loved".. me.

Maybe you did love me then, I can't presume to know that. But what I do know is that you don't love me now. Someone who loved me would want to know all about me, about my life and my experiences and my interests and my life goals and my dreams and aspirations. You're too in love with your own self-pity. And you're consumed by hate for a woman who did the best she could given the circumstances. That woman gave me a better life than you could ever, ever have hoped to, she's a beautiful, compassionate, strong, amazing woman who has too long let bastards like you take advantage of her open and loving heart.

When I called you up on it, when I told you to cop on and take responsibility and try to get to know your child, and you told me I was "vicious like her," that was it. I don't need you in my life if you are going to be more of a child than I am.

If you ever grow up and let the past go and want to get to know me, I'm here. I always have been. And if you really are changed, I would be more than happy to have you in my life. But I will never, ever, ever keep you around if you think I'm going to sit here and let you blame my amazing mother for your messed up decisions. She doesn't deserve it, and frankly, I don't deserve to have to listen to it.

I hope one day you truly realize you have lost out on having a wonderful daughter and friend.

It's your loss.

-Leah

Dimitri · 11-11-2010 11:39pm

Dear J,
You are now and have been for many years a wonderful friend to me. You picked me up when i was flat on my face many times dusted me off and got me going again and again. You were there with knowledge support and sympathy when my mother got sick and still are now while we try to cope with it and you were there when i wrestled with decisions i was too scared to make. Whenever you've needed me I've been too wrapped up and self involved to be there for you but you've never held it against me. You are a wonderful friend for anyone to have and you truly are my best friend. Sometimes contact has drooped for weeks or even months but I always know you are there and I wish I could tell you exactly how much you mean to me, how deeply I'm indebted to you and how I wish I could be the friend to you that you have been to me over the years.

Dear X's, sisters, parents,

I know at some time or another I treated ye all very badly, I was a very weak person then and tried to blame everyone else with my problems. I'm older now and a little wiser and a little stronger. I cant atone for many of the times I've hurt ye, but i'm making sure to not do it again. I know this will not undo the hurt I've caused but I'm truly sorry nonetheless.

metrovelvet · 11-11-2010 11:45pm

Dear every stranger who has helped me in an airport while I travelled alone with an infant - toddler,

I would have missed every single plane without you. You took your time out from the stresses of travel to help someone who means nothing to you and whom you will never see again.

nuttytart · 11-11-2010 11:58pm

Dear Ex I finally left you because no matter how much abuse I was willing to take when you started talking about making a family it became clear to me that I would never let any kids of mine live through the abuse. I have my family now with a man who adores me and who I love with every fiber of my being. I hope you have grown up and treat your new girlfriend better than you treated me. I have no desire to meet you and have you see how wonderful my life is nor do I want to take any pleasure in how ur isn't. I hope your happy because I am

Dear Mom
Asking a 7 year old do you love me? do you? coz if you don't I'll kill myself, is a horrible thing to do. Going through with it years later is worse. I did love you I told you all the time it just wasn't enough.

Dear Sis

I can't tell you how much you have hurt me in that last 2 years. You run to me when you need support and completely ignore me when I need help or worse you make me feel like a bad parent. I miss the wonderful person you used to be sooooo much.

Dear Dad

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you or what an amazing father and grand father you are, but I'd really love if you would spend some time with me.

Dear Love of my life you are amazing kind loving and supportive I can't believe it took me so long to see you. But I'm glad of the mistakes we've both made in our lives because it's brought us together. You are an amazing father!

Wow I feel so much better now!

WindSock · 12-11-2010 12:03am

Dear no one,

I am going to skull back half a bottle of whiskey and tell you exactly what I think about you to your face. Then I will most likely regret it and pretend it didn't happen.

Sincerely,

No one too

LegacyUser · 12-11-2010 1:20am

I've been thinking long and hard about this. I'm going unreg because I haven't quite worked myself up to dealing with this yet (I'm hoping it's a phase) but I'd hate for something bad to come from it.

Dear Very Good Friend,

I'm starting to get a bit frustrated with our relationship. I have no issue with you spending almost every minute we spend together checking your phone for texts or missed calls from your boyfriend, although it does make me feel like you don't want to be in my company or that I'm simply filling an empty space in your diary at times. I don't mind discussing your relationship with your boyfriend with you if it makes you feel better, or gives you perspective, even if we have the same conversations on a weekly basis. I genuinely don't mind almost everything we do being on your terms. I really do resent that you don't listen to me when I talk about the things that really do matter to me and that I need your advice on though, and I dislike that we used to go places and do things together before you started going out with him, but now you don't make any plans for nights out with the girls anymore because he might want to spend time with you.

I know your life has been challenging and difficult. In fact, I totally appreciate that it still is, and probably will be for the foreseeable future. I know by comparison my life has been a picture postcard. However, my picture postcard involved plenty of crap too, bullying, depression, counselling, discoveries about myself that were a bit surprising, and some things I'd like to share with you as one of my best friends. Even if I haven't had to put up with the level of sh!t you did, I still had my sh!t, and while I know yours you don't know the half of mine.

You know, for someone who's not judgemental, you sure do judge me. We spent a lot of time last weekend doing what you wanted to do (again). Despite having made plans days in advance that suited me far better you changed your mind at the last minute, and I had to either fall into line or carry out our plans alone, which would have been at best a bit pointless and at worst unfeasible. We had a nice time doing what you wanted to do, but we could have had an amazing time doing something different until you changed your mind.

Because I'm annoyed and hurt, I'm going to give you a few home truths. You sabotage your own relationship by discussing the issues you want to discuss with him with me instead. He is not a mind reader. I don't care how much you've been hurt in the past, if you genuinely care more about him than you have about anyone before HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT. I am not his proxy. I cannot tell you what he thinks. I can tell you what I think about your interactions, but that is not his opinion, it is mine. While I try not to hurt your feelings, I give you an honest opinion when you ask for it, that's my job, and uncharacteristically I try not to labour the point - I make it and move on.

I am really hurt that you continually correct me, tell me "don't" or "not to" before I ask questions when we're in public with mutual acquaintances (how do you know what I'm going to say?), and when you dictate a course of action rather than offering advice, or treat me like one of your students. I am always late because when I turn up on time you make me wait around while you put on loads of laundry, put on your make-up, get dressed, do your hair, do the washing up... the list goes on and on. I have learned to have little respect for your sense of timekeeping because you have no respect for mine. I turn up an hour after I say I will because you're not ready until an hour after I say I'll be there. Deal with it, and don't bring it up as a joke in front of your housemates or my family, because it's not, it's a learned behaviour.

Both of us have full driving licenses. Let me drive occasionally. I'm actually so sick of never having any control over where we go, when we go, what we do, what time we leave and so on. Saying that you're glad you didn't get a lift with me because I spent a few hours talking to a friend of mine after that thing last week was rude and unfair. For one thing, I wouldn't have had that lengthy conversation if you had been there, not only would we have been too busy discussing your relationship but I also wouldn't be disrespectful enough of you to expect you to hang around while I had a private conversation with someone. To suggest that I would was hurtful and wrong.

We're supposed to spend most of this weekend together, and secretly I'm dreading it. I love spending time with you, you are really one of my best friends, but over the past six months you've been a lot of hard work and are being quite difficult. I don't know if the plans we've made with other people are going to be changed at the last minute on your whim, or if you'll even feel like bothering to go. I don't know where I stand if some issue arises between you and your boyfriend if we do go to where we've planned - if I even travel with you on Saturday night - and I don't want to be stuck in an uncomfortable triangle of silence in the car, or even more uncomfortable silence in the back while the two of you have a whispered conversation in the front. I don't go anywhere with the two of you because, unlike my other couply friends, you make no effort to include me when it's just the three of us, and I find that particularly hurtful.

This has been therapeutic, writing how I feel down. I'm just afraid that it's the tip of an iceberg and I really won't like what I see if I delve a bit deeper. I've made it sound like we have very little fun, and that's not the case, but I really do feel like a bold, worthless child in your company a lot of the time. Frankly, I get enough of that in work, and I don't need it in my personal relationships.

I was having an argument with my sister this evening and she said at least HER friends like her. She spent some time with us last Saturday, and I'm not totally convinced she was wrong in her reading of the situation, because I really feel more like an irritation than a friend most of the time.

I don't want to fall out with you, but I'm sick of being a convenience rather than a friend. I'm running out of patience. I am your friend, but I'm starting to wonder if you're mine.

FF

i like pie · 12-11-2010 10:23pm

dear nanny,

words cannot describe how much i miss you, the one person in my life who never raised their voice or hand to me. I was your "ducky", you're only granddaughter and the relationship we shared is one of my most cherished. I remember all those hours we spent together, out the back garden or around the dinner table. I've grown up so much in the last three years and so many things have happened recently and I wish you had been there to see these major events in my life. You would have been so proud to see me get my leaving cert results, I really did my best as you said I always should.

I'm still so angry with myself about the night you died. I was getting ready to go to a disco when you were in a hospice being given the last rights. I was so selfish at the time, i knew you were dying but i got sick of spending hours in that place, I'll always remember the smell. What upsets me the most is that i can't recall our last conversation. I know you are looking down on me and i hope you can forgive me

Love ducky

Daisy Steiner · 13-11-2010 3:55am

Dear U S,

I still cry when I think of you, not everytime, but sometimes I miss you so much and I know that Dad misses you so much too.

You were such an important part of my life and seeing you through cancer was unbearably hard but now I know it was a privilege. We knew what was coming, even though you fought it to the very end.

As time goes on the hospital memories are fading and the happier times are coming back to me.

You always brought me the peanuts from your Delta flight home in the summer. You brought me my favourite tshirt ever, it was green with white trims and said 'molly' on the front. You and Dad are the only people that call me Molly.

You touched so many peoples lives, their grief was obvious when you died and you won't be forgotten.

I wish I had stayed in your room that last night, I swear I thought you were going to pull through. It was the 3rd time we had been called in and I really thought you would come back to us again.

I left because there were loads of people there and I was feeling angry that they were only there at the end. I wanted to get home to my bf and I find it hard to cope with that still.

I left your room and went down through the hospital, the ground was frozen solid and I was slipping all over the place. My mam was calling me back because you were leaving us. I still can't believe it.

We waked you from home and I still couldn't believe you were gone. I thought it was incredibly sad that you were dead in our home after all the many happy times you had spent there with us. Now I see that it was the right thing to do. We needed you there to help us with our grief.

You were my uncle and my god-father and I love you still. I wish you were still here, I'm going to miss you always.

Thanks for all the things you taught me and the amazing love you showed me. Thanks for all the arguments we had and the way you taught me to know my own mind and to accept that I am a great person with lots to offer in life.

M.

Jenneke87 · 13-11-2010 9:17pm

To my father who always said he was/is so dissapointed in me and that I look like my eldest sister: It´s really bad that you still cannot separete your own children after 23 years.....

To my ex boyfriend

You were never worth having me. I did everything for you and you nearly took my life. You are a horrible, manipulating, murderous bastard.

To my current lover: You´re an angel.

To my two children whom I couldn´t bring into this world: I´m so very sorry. You´re no longer in my belly but forever in my heart and mind.

To my youngest sister: for the love of God, learn to watch your tongue, and learn to take better care of yourself, and stop swearing so much. I didn´t raise you like that!

LegacyUser · 13-11-2010 9:51pm

Dear Gran,
It's nearly 2 years since you're gone and I miss you so much still. When I think about all you did for me for as long as I can remember, I know I was truly blessed as with you I had in effect a second mom. Although I wasn't the youngest for some reason I was your favourite grandchild (the others got a great kick out of teasing you about this) and some of my earliest memories are of beating the drums that were your pots and pans on your kitchen floor. From that memory to the day you passed holding my hand you were the most important person to me, it meant so much to tell you I loved you as you took your last breath. I know you must have been scared but we were all with you and you had family waiting for you in heaven, so I hope that helped.
I miss calling up to visit you every time I am home and filling you in on the goings on and always remembering how happy simply being around you made me feel. I think of you often and always will. You were one of the main people in my life.
I love you Granny

Thanks LL, us guys never get to do this

herisson · 13-11-2010 9:55pm

Dear ex-Boyfriend,

you used me and made me feel like crap. Because of you i lost all of my confidence and trust in people. its been nearly three years and i still cant trust a guy ffs so thanks alot asshole :mad:

Dear so called friends,

dont get thick at me just because i didnt go out its not the end of the world and stop flirting and cheating with other guys when you have a boyfriend STOP BEING A TRAMP!!!!!

LegacyUser · 14-11-2010 1:47am

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Dear ex-Boyfriend,

you used me and made me feel like crap. Because of you i lost all of my confidence and trust in people. its been nearly three years and i still cant trust a guy ffs so thanks alot asshole :mad:

Dear so called friends,

dont get thick at me just because i didnt go out its not the end of the world and stop flirting and cheating with other guys when you have a boyfriend STOP BEING A TRAMP!!!!!

Could have written this myself... word for word...

-After my ex broke up with me- I have lost all my confidence that took me SO long to build. It has affected my work. I too can no longer trust anyone. I look at everyone and wonder have they heard the lies my ex has spread about me... then others I wonder where is the point in making an effort... people are only going to fill me with lies. I can't stand it anymore. I never felt like this before. I have always been so friendly and bubbly.

-Can't understand why people cheat. Make a bloody decision!! Both friends and my horrible ex.

krudler · 14-11-2010 5:06am

To my ex..

I thought you were the one, I really, honestly did. But after two years of being taken for granted and having a relationship entirely on your terms, only feeling like an important part of your life when it suited you, I got sick of it.
Yeah I let you down at times, but you did the same to me more times than I can count. I wanted to be there for you as much as I could, but thanks to your asshole ex you wouldnt let me in for fear of getting hurt. That only plays so long before it becomes an excuse, and after that lenght of time I just couldnt stand being someone you saw when it suited you any more. I got tired of being forever there for you when you needed me, but when I needed you I couldnt rely on you.
Yet you're the only girl, literally the ONLY girl I've ever had in my life who gave me as many butterflies in my stomach when I kissed you for the thousandth time as you did when I kissed you the first time. I never got tired of being around you, and for all your faults if I could have you here with me now I would. You'll always be the girl I measure future girlfriends up to.

The Big Red Button · 14-11-2010 9:01pm

This is such a good thread.

The thing is, when I think about it, I can definitely think of things that I wish I could say to a few people in my life. Mostly, what comes to mind is telling people - in particular my parents - just how much I appreciate them and how much they mean to me. But there's no point in writing those things here, because there's no reason I can't say these things to the people in question right now. Too often though, it's too easy to just not bother saying the "obvious" out loud ... to assume that the person already knows how you feel and just how much you love them. I mean, my parents are absolutely amazing, amazing people and the most fantastic parents you could ever imagine, they're actually really inspirational to me, and I'm sure that they're an inspiration to many other people too. And I'm always telling other people all of this ... but I honestly can't remember the last time I actually said "I love you" out loud to either of them. It's definitely been several years. Sounds mad, I know ... I guess I just tend to assume that it's very obvious and doesn't need to be said.

I'm very much aware that they won't be here forever. In fact, unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, the fact that they won't always be here is something that I've really had to consider and accept over the past few years. When the time comes ... I don't want to be left with any niggly little doubts that there was anything left unsaid, when it's too late to do anything about it.

After reading this thread, I'm making the decision right now to make sure that that doesn't happen.

RacoonQueen · 14-11-2010 9:54pm

I'd contribute to this thread but anything I haven't said to two people in particular, that I'd like to put down here are because I'm too stubborn/proud.

Even after losing one of my best friends last year I still haven't learnt to tell people what I'm thinking/how I feel. The advice I always give people is to always tell people what you thinkl, if you love someone tell them, if you feel like crap let someone help you etc etc etc shame I can't follow my own advice :rolleyes:

Maple · 14-11-2010 11:27pm

krudler wrote: »

Yet you're the only girl, literally the ONLY girl I've ever had in my life thus far who gave me as many butterflies in my stomach when I kissed you for the thousandth time as you did when I kissed you the first time.

fixed that for you.:)

You deserve someone who will be there for you like you'd be there for them. She's out there.

krudler · 14-11-2010 11:45pm

maple wrote: »

fixed that for you.:)

You deserve someone who will be there for you like you'd be there for them. She's out there.

Hope so

I'm kinda at that point where I want to move on but havent gotten the opportunity much lately or met someone I'd want to go out with, so the rose tinted glasses go on, I just keep reminding myself of all the reasons we broke up and that makes it easier, but you cant help but miss the other person sometimes. I wanna text her and ask her hows she is but I know if I open that line of communication then its only going to hurt more trying to forget her.

Earthhorse · 14-11-2010 11:45pm

"Dear" GG,

Or whatever moniker you are going by these days. I don't know what weird wiring in your brain made it think it was alright to lie about illnesses and family deaths in order to get attention and affection, I can only hope you realise now that it's not; not only was the false pain you claimed to have been enduring an insult to people who are genuinely suffering but it also caused pain, and the attention and affection you so clearly craved would have come to you just the way you were, if there is such a thing.

Worse yet was the piousness with which you presented yourself when, in fact, beneath that perfumed surface, you were one of the most poisonous people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing; though knowing is an odd word to use when it comes to you.

I can only hope that by now you have gotten the psychiatric help you quite clearly needed or, under your own volition, have somehow managed to start telling even an ounce of truth; if not for your sake then for the sake of the next guy who listens long enough to care.

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Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1