All your ''I was on the bus and this happened'' storys,

flyton5 · 16-09-2010 04:56PM

irish-stew wrote: »

Some girl with a ronnie got off, the bus crashed moments later.

Must. Try. HARDER :rolleyes:

CorkMan · 16-09-2010 04:57PM

reverenddave wrote: »

i was on a bus once and then

Dennis Hopper put a bomb on it (coz he was angry) so that once it was armed, the bus had to stay above 50 mph to stop it from exploding. oh and keanu reeves was there and lots of scared people.
and the bus driver was black
And if Keanu Reeves tries to unload any passengers off, Dennis Hopper would have detonated it .
but Keanu Reeves done something and saved the day oh and sandra Bullock was there too
oh and we jumped a bridge and it exploded in an airport (the bus not the bridge)

The End

Jaysus.

recylingbin · 16-09-2010 04:57PM

reverenddave wrote: »

i was on a bus once and then

Dennis Hopper put a bomb on it (coz he was angry) so that once it was armed, the bus had to stay above 50 mph to stop it from exploding. oh and keanu reeves was there and lots of scared people.
and the bus driver was black
And if Keanu Reeves tries to unload any passengers off, Dennis Hopper would have detonated it .
but Keanu Reeves done something and saved the day oh and sandra Bullock was there too
oh and we jumped a bridge and it exploded in an airport (the bus not the bridge)

The End

Similar thing happened to me, except I was getting a piggyback from an Afghan.

Oranage2 · 16-09-2010 04:57PM

I dont bother reading through threads and am wondering has anyone done the tracker morgage or speed joke?

If not................I was on a bus once with Keanu Reeves and he stood up ans asked why there were so many scumbags playing ring tones on their phones, he was genuinely angry at them.

Stercus Accidit · 16-09-2010 05:00PM

The more speed references the better.

Mint Sauce · 16-09-2010 05:01PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

I dont bother reading through threads and am wondering has anyone done the tracker morgage or speed joke?

If not................I was on a bus once with Keanu Reeves and he stood up ans asked why there were so many scumbags playing ring tones on their phones.

only about 3 times

reverenddave · 16-09-2010 05:03PM

CorkMan wrote: »

Jaysus.

**oops** i meant to write hurt
i was day dreaming and trying to remember something else about the movie

not a good day to be me

Oranage2 · 16-09-2010 05:04PM

Another time I was on a bus with Keanu (we're kinda mates) this happened :

Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and his partner Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels) are explosives experts in LAPD SWAT. A terrorist named Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) is holding a group of office workers for ransom in an express elevator. Jack and Harry manage to rescue the hostages before Payne sends the elevator plummeting to the basement. They find Payne in a freight elevator. Payne holds Harry hostage, but after a brief standoff, Jack shoots Harry in the leg, causing Payne to release his hostage. Payne escapes and sets off a small explosion in the parking garage that blasts Jack off his feet and appears to kill Payne. Jack and Harry are then commended for their bravery by the LAPD in an official ceremony. Now with a crippled leg, Harry is promoted to Detective II and given a desk job.
The next day, after grabbing his morning coffee, Jack observes as a Santa Monica Municipal Bus Lines bus explodes near him. Payne calls Jack on a nearby pay phone, revealing that he is alive and has rigged another bus to explode. Once the bus reaches 50 miles per hour, the bomb will be activated. If it drops below 50, it will explode. In addition, Payne will detonate the bus manually if anyone gets off the bus, or if the ransom is not delivered on time. To complicate matters even worse, the bus Payne rigs is an express bus running on the morning rush hour route into downtown, thus making an effort to stop the bus before the bomb arms futile. Jack locates the bus and jumps aboard, but the bomb has already been armed.
When Jack identifies himself as a police officer, one man draws a gun, believing Jack has come to arrest him. In an ensuing struggle, he accidentally shoots the driver, Sam (Hawthorne James). Another passenger, Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock), takes the wheel. Annie is left to drive the bus throughout the city while keeping it above the necessary speed and avoiding other cars. News of the bomb makes TV broadcasts and soon there is a long line of news choppers trailing the bus, which is routed onto the Interstate 105 freeway. Jack negotiates for the wounded bus driver to be evacuated from the moving bus. However, when Payne witnesses a terrified passenger named Helen trying to get off as well, he detonates a small bomb under the steps. This causes Helen to fall under the bus, where she is crushed to death beneath the wheels.
The bus comes to a 50 ft (15 m) gap in the freeway, but by increasing speed the bus launches over the gap. They drive to the Los Angeles International Airport where they can safely maintain their speed by driving in circles on the runway and, being a restricted airspace, the police can operate without Payne seeing them in the media from the news helicopters. Jack goes under the bus on a sled in an attempt to defuse the bomb, but when the sled loses control, he tries to grab hold of the bus and accidentally ruptures the fuel tank with a screwdriver.
Harry and his team find several clues identifying Payne as the bomber, as it is revealed that Payne was once an Atlanta bomb squad sergeant who retired in 1989 after being severely injured (losing his thumb) while defusing a bomb, and being unsatisfied with the meager pension he received for years. They manage to locate and raid Payne's retirement residence, but Payne has already rigged the house with a bomb which explodes, killing Harry and his team.
Upon learning the deaths of Harry and his team, Jack notices that Annie is sporting an Arizona Wildcats jacket, which leads him to discover that Payne is monitoring the bus with a hidden camera (since she was recently referred to as a Wildcat). Using a news van, Mac and his colleagues loop the footage being transmitted to Payne. This allows them to safely evacuate the passengers to another bus. After Jack and Annie evacuate, the bus crashes into a fully fueled cargo plane and is destroyed in a spectacular explosion. Jack begins to fall in love with Annie, but she warns him that relationships started in intense situations tend not to last. Despite this, Annie starts to fall in love with him also.
The police plan to catch Payne as he picks up the ransom money, since Payne is unaware of the evacuation and destruction of the bus. However, Payne discovers that the feed is being looped, and that the hostages have been evacuated. Disguised as a police officer, Payne kidnaps Annie off of the street and arms her chest with a bomb with a pressure release detonator, which he is holding. Payne then escapes into the subway station, where he collects the ransom money. Jack catches Payne, ordering for Annie's release, saying that he can get away with the money. Despite having got the money as he wanted, Payne refuses to let Annie go, threatening to activate the detonator and expressing his desire of how bombs explode. Payne hijacks a subway train, handcuffing Annie to one of the poles inside. Jack pursues them and manages to get inside the train just as it starts moving.
Payne catches the conductor of the subway train calling the authorities and shoots him dead. He then later discovers his money has been tainted when a dye pack bursts in his face. Angered that he has been tricked, Payne gets on top of the subway car and a fight between him and Jack ensues. Payne is winning the fight until Jack lifts Payne up, decapitating him with a incoming tunnel light - Jack then cracks a joke by telling Annie that Payne has "lost his head". As Payne's headless corpse falls away, Jack grabs the detonator and disarms Annie's bomb. However, the train cannot be stopped, because its control panel is heavily damaged by Payne's bullets. Jack also tries to free Annie from her handcuffs but fails. Noticing a sharp curve in the track ahead, Jack observes the map and discovers that the Red Line's westbound track dead ends beyond the service tunnels into the construction site under Hollywood/Highland. Jack accelerates the train, intentionally derailing it. The derailed train breaks through a wall where it comes to rest on Hollywood Boulevard. When Annie realizes that Jack stayed with her rather than saving himself, she passionately kisses him as shocked pedestrians watch.

Mr. Fancypants · 16-09-2010 05:09PM

The best bus story :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkpvON6IpNs

Mint Sauce · 16-09-2010 05:14PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

Another time I was on a bus with Keanu (we're kinda mates) this happened :.....

were you on the subway train with keanu and sandra as well

Roaster · 16-09-2010 05:16PM

On the 13 or 13A (whichever one goes down Whitword Rd) and there's this bird running to catch the bus. She was never going to make it but about 10 yards away from the stop and she's too busy looking at the bus..........SMACK!!!! straight into a pole. I never saw the damage as the bus never stopped but I'd say something must have broke the way she hit it.

Scarinae · 16-09-2010 05:22PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

I was on a bus once with Keanu Reeves and he stood up ans asked why there were so many scumbags playing ring tones on their phones, he was genuinely angry at them.

He looked more sad than angry if you ask me

Mr.Applepie · 16-09-2010 05:30PM

gazzer wrote: »

I actually saw something like this happen once. About 3 years ago I was getting the bus to work in the estate I used to live in (bus came through the main road of the estate) and as the bus was coming 2 women were running to the bus stop. One of the women was carrying a toddler and pushing a buggy. She proceeded to give up pushing the buggy and just left it on the path and got on the bus with her friend and (i presume) son. She didnt say anything about the government getting her a new one though

I don't see how that's the same. She was probably just stealing the child

knird evol · 16-09-2010 05:42PM

the bus out to finglas and cindarella is on it. just as shes getting off at her stop this oul one pipes up 'i hope one of the dwarves kicks the crap out of you whe nyou get home'

Funkfield · 16-09-2010 06:06PM

bluewolf wrote: »

On the bus home one day and this nice older french couple were looking a bit lost. They asked the driver finally at one point "is this the right direction for going to x"
He pulled over at the bus stop, explained to them for a few mins what to do to get to where they wanted, let them off and then off we went again. I thought that was lovely of him. It was on the way out of town in the late evening so I guess nobody was in a real rush anyway

Tessa Rich Knickknack wrote: »

Which town?

bluewolf wrote: »

Does it make any difference?

Tessa Rich Knickknack wrote: »

No.

Anyone else think that that looked like Mourinho and Alf Stewart having a conversation?

stupidusername · 16-09-2010 06:20PM

I was on a bus into town (not dublin

) once, when at a stop a really old woman got on. She struggled to get to the first seat on the bus. She managed to hold on to the bar, and turn around, this was the seat behind the driver so it was facing towards the aisle. Being an old woman, she was wearing a skirt. She starts trying to pull herself up into the chair, but as she does, her skirt starts getting dragged down. So I get a full view of a very wrinkly old woman arse. And she didn't even realise it! felt ill for a long time after that

Scarinae · 16-09-2010 06:45PM

knird evol wrote: »

the bus out to finglas and cindarella is on it. just as shes getting off at her stop this oul one pipes up 'i hope one of the dwarves kicks the crap out of you whe nyou get home'

The aul one obviously doesn't know her fairytales - it was Snow White who lived with dwarves

Why was Cinderella on the bus, was it Halloween?

Alter-Ego · 16-09-2010 07:09PM

Got on the 46a one day and 3 ould ones came on after me, looked like they were in their 50's and 60's. I took my seat and as the ladies were making their way down the aisle, the bus took off with a jolt and the three of them fell like donminos right beside me. Shouldn't have laughed but it was one of the funniest things i've seen.

Nolanger · 16-09-2010 07:40PM

Remember the yellow/red IMP buses? Really fast and when they went round a corner usually someone would slide out of their seat and onto the floor. Everyone would burst out laughing.

Bonkers_xOx · 16-09-2010 08:11PM

I was on the bus and everybody was jumping,
We went from New York to San Francisco,
It was an intercity disco,
The wheels of steel were turning,
And the traffic lights were burning...

pulpfictionost · 16-09-2010 08:28PM

About 6 years ago a traveller held a knife to my stomach on the bus, everyone just watched and nobody said anything. I felt so safe

Balfie · 16-09-2010 10:27PM

haha Yeh I remember them imp buses, and if ya look at the video for summer in dublin on youtube the old big green bus is on it haha

grind gremlin · 16-09-2010 11:13PM

A man sat beside me, started chatting to me but freaked me out. I pretended to fall asleep when he proceeded to shove over towards me and rub against me with his elbow. He ended up whipping a soft leather briefcase over his lap and having a not so discreet pedal and crank underneath it.

He eventually got caught for it... although i'm pretty sure it wasn't by undercover security as claimed by this article. I had told customer in a local pub where I worked what happened. Low and behold he spotted him in action and rang the guards who boarded the bus at a later stage and arrested him. Ended up in court where he was banned from public transport.... i mean WTF!!!!

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/END+OF+ROAD+FOR+BUS+PERV.-a0111602662

CorkMan · 17-09-2010 05:27PM

stupidusername wrote: »

I was on a bus into town (not dublin ) once, when at a stop a really old woman got on. She struggled to get to the first seat on the bus. She managed to hold on to the bar, and turn around, this was the seat behind the driver so it was facing towards the aisle. Being an old woman, she was wearing a skirt. She starts trying to pull herself up into the chair, but as she does, her skirt starts getting dragged down. So I get a full view of a very wrinkly old woman arse. And she didn't even realise it! felt ill for a long time after that

lol, that brought back a memory. I remember when I was 8/9 years old, I was getting off the bus but the driver braked abruptly and my hand went right back and whacked an old woman in the face!

The old ones with her were shocked

admiralofthefleet · 17-09-2010 08:30PM

was on the 16 earlier from town to terenure when a man gets on at leonards corner.
he sits in the seat opposite me and the missus and straight away i notice a smell. rather than say it she types out on her phone 'can you smell something' to which i reply 'yeah he smells like shit'
people start looking at him and then he moves up to the front seat leaving a big brown patch on the seat. we immedietly go down stairs followed by a few other patrons and jump off in harolds cross to walk the rest of the way because the stench was filling the bus at this stage. i told the driver on getting off but he looked at me like i had two heads and says ' ill sort it out'
but when we got off the bus just sped off
not only did he destroy 2 seats but other people could have sat on the seat because the driver did nothing about it

Profiler · 17-09-2010 08:41PM

I was on this

bus once.

Nothing memorable happened.

nullzero · 17-09-2010 08:44PM

I was on the last bus home from town about 10 years ago, sitting upstairs and this really drunk student got up and started going through an impromtu stand up comedy routine.
In fairness for a gob****e on a bus he was reasonably funny even if he was insulting a girl sitting next to where he was standing for most of his funnier lines.

The "set" lasted for a minute or two, with the performer swinging drunkly wilst holding onto the hand rails, until the driver turned on the intercom to tell him to sit down.
Yer man kept going and started into some material about censorship (take that CIE employee) when the "man" (bus driver) stopped the bus ran upstairs and dragged his skinny arse down the stairs and left him to walk off his frustrations.

One of the more bizarre things I've seen in my life.
I'd love to hear that someone here was on that bus too (16 going from town to Rathfarnham, yer man was kicked off in Terenure).

mcwhirter · 17-09-2010 08:47PM

I got on a bus in meath...:D

sagat2 · 17-09-2010 09:21PM

I used to take the 16A every day back when I was in College. I'd get one of those Monthly student bus/rail cards that were far from cheap. One day I was validating a new card getting on the bus when something strange happened my ticket was spat back out stating an expiration date 10 years in the future, instead of 2001 it said 2011. Just a miss-print I thought no way was my luck good enough to get gifted the ultimate transit card. So it was with much skepticism that exactly a month later I got on the bus with that ticket expecting the machine to deny it, much to my surprise it went through and there I was saving a pretty penny.

So there I was gallivanting around the Dublin area on my golden ticket. What could possibly go wrong? About 5 or 6 months later a ticket inspector get on the bus I thought my number was up, I showed him the card and he went "what the feck?" I told him that I had validated it just a week ago to which he assured me that it was nothing to worry about and that the ticket would just expire at the end of the month.

Now a decent moral human being would do the honest thing and stop using the ticket but I'm Irish, what's more at that time I was a student and morality did not hold the same value as beer money. About 2 months later I met the same inspector who recognized me and the ticket "It's still working?" he said, to which I replied "Ah sure, it hasn't been a month yet". He eyed me suspiciously and moved on. Anyway I continued using the ticket for many more months all the while being utterly paranoid of meeting the same ticket inspector again. I'd encountered a few other inspectors but they never noticed the error instead I think their focus at that time was ensuring people using student tickets fitted the profile of malnourished, spotty, little basturds caught in the middle of a fashion dilemma. If memory serves me they would also check to make sure you were carrying a USIT card or some form of student ID.

Anyway more than a year had passed since I originally scored my magic bus and rail card and my bad fashion taste had escalated to mythical proportions, when one day a familiar face came on the bus. He remembered me instantly "Ticket please and it better not be one from next decade". The game was up, my ticket confiscated and is probably pinned up alongside some page 3 knockers in the bus depot to this day. I was gutted but in a way a little relieved that I no longer had to ride the bus paranoid that that would be the day my somewhat innocent bit of fare evasion was finally caught. I was finished College a couple of months later at which point it would have useless without passing it off to another student but they were bound to change the ticket colours or design eventually. Still for the best part of two years in the beginning of a new Millennium when the Celtic Tiger was nuging every greedy sod in the country to put up their prices and student such as myself were struggling to sustain themselves on Koka noodles and Frosty Jack Cider I was an outlaw, living the dream.

DerekDGoldfish · 17-09-2010 09:41PM

I was on a big and the guy in the seat behind me was complaining about being bursting. I jokingly gave him a locozade bottle , unfortunatly he didnt see it as a joke and even more unfortunatly the bottle was only 380ml which wasnt nearly enough.

All your ''I was on the bus and this happened'' storys,

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